If I Should Die
(Click title or book to buy On-line Now)
Author: Grace F. Edwards
Publisher: Bantam Books, Incorporated
Date Published: March 1998
Format: Mass Market Paperbound
Excerpt
"Wait a minute, Ruffin. Owners have some rights too,
you know, so be patient..."
The dog was in danger of breaking my wrist so I untangled the leash and moved away from
the stoop and toward the curb. The sky was slate gray for April--not my favorite
color--and the temperature could have used a little juicing up also. Just a few minutes
outdoors and already my feet felt as if I had stepped in a bucket of ice.
...Maybe I just oughtta walk the dog and go back in the house. Let that boy come home in
the rain without his jacket. That would teach him a lesson, but then, I'd probably be up
all night nursing his cough.
...Just like an eleven-year-old, never wants to hear anything that resembles advice. Told
him the weather wasn't going to warm up anytime soon but did he listen? Now I had to call
him at rehearsal to wait there until I bring his coat.
...Well, I get a chance to walk the dog again, or trot beside him if he decides to slow
down. Sometimes I can't figure out who's walking whom...
...I shouldn't complain. Alvin's adjusted to the group. He likes the singing, and the
nightmares are not nearly as bad as they used to be...
I lingered for a minute and gazed down the block, a row of three- and four-story
brownstones with iron filigree balconies and narrow, French-curtained windows. They called
it Strivers Row because of the black professionals who owned property on the block.
I was born here thirty-one years ago, and as far as I could remember, the houses had
remained unchanged through the years. Now the gray and brown facades took on a silken
sheen from the mist that hung in the air.
The branches of the trees were still bare, but several gardens showed signs of life. From
Adam Clayton Powell Boulevard to Frederick Douglass Boulevard, behind old iron railings
layers of forsythia, shaped into rounded hedges, had bloomed into brilliant yellow almost
overnight.
They looked warm and inviting and hinted at spring but I was still cold. I pulled my hat
down and jacket collar up and steered Ruffin toward Powell Boulevard, listening to the
light tip-tip of his paws on the wet pavement. The delicate sound was deceptive for
a Great Dane.
The rain had driven all but a few hardy souls from the street, which was fine. It was
Saturday afternoon and the wet weather meant fewer children to watch out for and Ruffin
wouldn't have to be reined in quite so tightly.
On the avenue, we passed the old Renaissance Casino dance hall near 138th Street, which
had been boarded up for years. Under its weather-worn marquee, the long-haulers who
regularly drove up from Georgia and South Carolina were already set up and selling their
produce despite the rain. We usually bought smoked hams, pig tails, collards, yams, and
jars of honey here, and in another month or so, we'd buy string beans, corn, and
watermelon fresher and cheaper than the local stores but, still, it was depressing to look
at the faded marquee overhead.
Lately, I had begun to feel differently. When David Dinkins and Charles Rangel arranged to
have Abyssinian Baptist Church buy the hall, my depression lifted. "That grand old
ballroom will be renovated, it's going to reopen," I said. "Harlem's coming
back."
My father had raised one eyebrow and smiled. "My dear girl, Harlem never left. It can
go through a million changes and never change. Harlem," he said, "is a state of
mind, an essence. It's not defined by one building. Of course it helps to see that place
open and functioning again, and I tip my hat to those guys who tapped the mortgage, but
they gotta get the deed in the hands; gotta get title to the place."
"What if they don't?"
"Well if a general loses a fort doesn't mean he's lost the war. It means he has to
revise his battle plans."
Listening to him was like opening a history book, only better sometimes. "You're just
kids," he used to say to my sister and me, "but I'm gonna show you anyway so
you'll know where all the old neighborhood dance halls, nightclubs, and after-hours spots
used to be. And why everybody, not just from downtown, but from around the world, wanted
to visit at least once. This is history, and since you're Harlem babies, I want you to
know it."
And he had walked us, two little girls, into the past, pointing out the Club Baby Grand on
125th Street where Willie and Ray, the deejays, had broadcast their rhythm and blues; the
old Cotton Club, where the black chorus girls couldn't be any darker than the cream in the
white gangster-owner's coffee. The Savoy, "Home of Happy Feet"; Minton's
Playhouse, the serious jazz hangout. And Jock's Place, Smalls' Paradise, and the Red
Rooster. That was just for starters.
My father, Jeffrey Anderson, teaches music. When he was younger, he had spent weekends
rolling his bass fiddle from one club to another and then into one of the after-hours
spots to greet the dawn.
He had jammed with the best jazz men in town, out of town, and those just passing through
town, and spoke of the politicians and movie stars he had met in the clubs: George Raft
had once lit his cigarette with a solid gold lighter. Adam Clayton Powell, Sugar Ray
Robinson, and Willie Mays had shaken his hand. He had small-talked with big-time gangsters
and had been tipped a whole week's salary by a numbers baron just for a solo. And more
times than he cared to think about, he had gotten out of a joint just minutes before it
was raided by the cops.
"Folks scramblin' for the door like they was rushin' off the Titanic," he
said. "Those were hot places and some hot times, man."
Those times and all of those places gone, but somebody said that was progress. My sister
is also gone--dead two years--and I wonder who else could point out the exact spot on
Lenox Avenue where the Golden Gate Ballroom and the Savoy and the Club Sudan once stood.
Dad misses those old times, but he still has his students, more than he can make time for.
And I have Alvin, my sister's son, and am showing him these places, the same way Dad
showed me.
Ruffin continued to pull on the leash, as if he knew exactly where we were going....I'm
glad I called that boy to let him know we're coming. Especially today. Sometimes he takes
a different route even though I tell him not to...
I cut through 138th Street, a block much like my own with old brownstones, small front
gardens, and bare-limbed trees lining the curb. The street was deserted now because of the
rain.
Midway into the block, I saw Ruffin's ears perk up. Then I heard the commotion. A car had
halted several yards away and a struggle was taking place near the car's rear door. The
cries, high-pitched and frightened, moved through the driving rain.
"Lemme go! Naw! Lemme...go!"
Instinct, a dangerous and sometimes necessary thing, took hold, and before I knew it, I
was running forward, forgetting I was no longer on the force, no longer carrying a weapon,
and had only Ruffin trotting beside me.
Through the downpour, the cries came at me. Desperate. This was not the crying of a
stubborn child, but a terrified one.
Habit got the better hand and I opened my mouth.
"Police! Don't move!" My voice seemed to float somewhere outside of me. I hadn't
shouted those words in two years, but to hell with that now. I yelled again and unclipped
Ruffin's leash from his collar, tapped him on his side, and yelled once more.
"Get 'im, Ruffin!" hoping that whoever was trying to harm that kid would
appreciate the size of a Great Dane and have sense enough to get away from the scene while
he still had legs.
Ruffin's bark should have been enough. He looked like a young colt as he leaped away,
covering the distance to the car in less than a second.
I heard a muffled shout and a light pinging sound. A hand shoved the child away from the
car and the door slammed shut. The automobile, a black, late-model Cadillac, accelerated
and turned screeching onto Seventh Avenue.
I caught sight of "HO" on the plate before it disappeared in the rain.
The child, ten or eleven years old, sat sprawled on the curb in a daze, his hand bleeding
and his jeans and jacket rain-soaked. Ruffin paced the ground beside him, quiet now, then
trotted over to the middle of the street where a man lay, motionless.
I knelt beside the man, took a closer look, and pressed my hands to my mouth. My friend
Erskin Harding, the tour director of the Uptown Children's Chorus, lay in the rain-soaked
street, his eyes wide, seeing nothing.