Stripped Bare: The 12 Truths That Will Help You Land the Very Best Black Man
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by LaDawn Black
Format: Paperback, 160pp
Pub. Date: February 2006
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Book Review by Kam Williams
’Play close attention, ladies: there are many great black men out there. Do not buy into the lies that all the good men are already married or gay. These are lies sold to our community so that we don't forge strong family or personal relationships, which have statistically proven to contribute to long, secure, and prosperous lives. Further, it is my belief that sisters clothe themselves with these lies so that we can justify our inability to select quality men or end bad relationships.’
’Excerpted from Chapter 1
In recent years, the conventional wisdom has suggested that there's a dwindling pool of good black men available to African-American women, due to a combination of incarceration, homosexuality, intermarriage, and several other factors. Now, Stripped Bare: The12 Truths That Will Help You Land the Very Best Black Man has arrived with a very optimistic message for sisters in search for Mr. Right.
Debunking the debilitating myth is someone who should know, LaDawn Black, author, therapist and host of Baltimore's #1 relationship radio show, The Love Zone. Ms. Black, who happens to be happily-married to the brother of her dreams, self-published the first edition of her how-to handbook three years ago. It proved to be popular enough that she was signed by Ballantine, a division of Random House to revise the original for this expanded second edition.
I guess you still can't tell a book by its cover, given the presence of the very pretty LaDawn naked on the cover in profile. For most of the dozen dating tips revealed inside have nothing to do with sexuality. Rather, what the nudity and the title ’Stripped Bare’ is meant to convey is the idea that black women need to cleanse their minds of all their negative expectations before embarking on a course likely to land them in a positive relationship.
Some of the specific misconceptions the author seeks to eradicate are the attitudes (1) that the traditional, dual parent black family is a fantasy; (2) that all the great brothers are gay or already married; (3) that brothers aren’t interested in kinky sex; (4) that brothers without lots of money, flashy cars and plenty of bling are undesirable; and (5) that white women and prisons are taking away all of their men.
After establishing that none of the above ought to be considered roadblocks to an ideal man, Ms. Black still asserts that there's serious work ahead, since ’You will have to be the aggressor, taking the steps to identify, pursue, and nurture a great relationship.’ Among the pearls of wisdom she goes on to relate is the fact that, ’There is no better way to attract a great black man than to make him feel that you are simply the best woman out there for him.’
Filled with inspiring pep talks, on-line mating etiquette, fictionalized case histories, frank erotic chat, and step-by-step instructions to help you avoid everyday pitfalls of the battle-of-the-sexes, Stripped Bare is a common sense guide which can't really ensure that you’ll land the very best black man but it at least ought to help you upgrade substantially.