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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/09/2017 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    Thank you @Troy for your thoughtful words. I appreciate that we can all have slightly varying opinions yet stay respectful. I've worked with children aging out of foster care so can appreciate @Mel Hopkins work with at-risk children. I can also appreciate the wisdom and life experience of our elders and retirees such as @Cynique. And much appreciation for @Delano and "keeping it reel." Wishing you all a great day!
  2. 4 points
    @Cynique who knows maybe Nubianfellow has it point. Maybe it's the black woman's hair that is the key to black people's success.. My friends call my family the hair bear bunch because we have very long hair that grows from our roots... (see my profile pic - yep that's mine) So, maybe because we don't have weaves it allows us to communicate with directly to the Universe from which all our blessings flow you know god gave it to us for a reason. ...And it makes us super smart so we don't have ever worry about being in the bottom 20% of those poverty-stricken folks. We don't need weaves, because we love showing off our beautiful locks, because, well who doesn't love our hair. By the way loving your hair, automatically translates into us loving ourselves because hair is the major key.. And, of course we attract men who are not deadbeat dads. Because of our flowing Rapunzel-like locks we attract the men who have the most money, best character and family adhesiveness ... As for the men who feel it's ok to lie down create babies and flee the scene. Well, we all know they got that way because of some weave-wearing black woman - who didn't cheer them on when they did something you know, mediocre.... I just can't.
  3. 4 points
    Best Wishes,Respect For All The Black -Mothers,Grandmothers,Aunts, On Mothers Day..It Has Been -Said That Black Women .Are The Strength Of,The Black -Community...Extra Respect For Black Mothers Raising Children -Alone And For Black .Mothers Grieving Over their Sons --,Murdered By Nazi Terrorist Police And Street Gangs...I Think --,Cynique Is A Mother And Grandmother..A Perfect Song For -Black Mothers And Girls Is Black Pearl,By Sonny Charles -And,The Checkmates.....
  4. 4 points
    Hi there. As for me, my only reasons for not joining in on this site is that I forget. Yes, I do log into Facebook but usually to see family stuff, and I have only recently begun to "tweet". I am in the process of learning how to market my first book so I am also concentrating on getting speaking engagements and writing new articles and I blog. Yes, my publisher set me up on Amazon which I have no problem with. My book writing project was originally about inspiration, and I happen to be a Black person writing about a Black man. But I did not initially set out to specifically reach Black people. So I have become a part of the White mainstream social marketing media. And once I started trying to connect with Black book stores and what not, I became disappointed. Once I found AALBC I was delighted. But I have found that I have to remind myself that I need to engage with others on this site the same way that I do on my Blog, and on twitter. I want to have a site on AALBC separate from my blog and I intend to work at gaining a presence on AALBC by commenting on more discussions. Thanks for AALBC Troy.
  5. 4 points
    I divorced my ex-husband for being disrespectful, not for an "adulterous" affair. I found out he was having an intimate and sexual relationship with another woman but didn't bother to tell me. If he would have told me he was seeing someone else, it would have given me an opportunity to decide how to proceed. He didn't. His silence took away my choice and also put my life in danger. I believe when you're in an intimate relationship you don't keep secrets from each other. Openness and vulnerability toward each other is the foundation of a great relationship.
  6. 4 points
    It doesn't necessarily follow that monogamy leads to a happy home life. Being polygamous is not the same as cheating. I have known and met people who have open relationships. Otn one instance the adult child was more upset than the partner. What is moral, ethical and good is another debate. I also knew a couple where the woman was a leabian. However that was more of a business situation. Plus she did use sex as a weapon. But he didn't care. I also had a coworker that said certain sex acts her partner should see a prostitute. There's what works and what works for you. They are not always the same. Interesting. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher had an open relationship. But it broke yp when he hid one his lovers. At that point he was cheating. Its not cheating if the other person knows about your lover.
  7. 3 points
    I never heard this before, but it is a brilliant observation.
  8. 3 points
    @ Antonio, you aren't the first newbie to react the way you did to the tone of this forum. They all seemed a little shell-shocked, and soon faded away. i like how you handled it. Hang in here. We can all learn from each other. My grandchildren are all millennials, and we are rarely on the same page. I think it's because everything new to them is old to me and i've become jaded. My screen name is a derived from the word "cynic". Over time, i have gravitated toward being an iconoclast and in discussions, i frequently take on the contrarian role which requires people i am debating with to examine and defend their beliefs. And this is beneficial to both me and them because we can both learn something. As an aspiring writer you should always be seeking truth and authenticity.
  9. 3 points
    @Pioneer1 You are giving the Babyboomers credit for what my generation, the Depression Babies, accomplished. At the height of the civil rights movement and barrier breaking during the mid 1950s and all through the 60s, Babyboomers were children. We passed the torch to the Babyboomers who barely kept it burning.
  10. 3 points
    Writing is a very lonely profession not to mention being a very crowded and competitive one. It's like the NBA where only a chosen few make it to the pros. Your one consolation is that you are not alone. The world is full of talented writers who don't get lucky. Community theater may be a venue to have your plays produced and performed. This might lead to something bigger or at least give you some exposure and a little self satisfaction. Sometimes, just when you think all is lost and you switch your focus, Fate steps in and you become an "overnight success". The stuff of dreams.
  11. 3 points
    @Pioneer1, I'm completely unfamiliar with the notion that large communities of poor white people want to be poor Anecdotally, one of the most common conversations I overhear, when in Florida, is white people talking about how hard they work. I was at a book fair the Ft Myers and witnessed a popcorn vendor talking to an ice cream vendor next to her, saying that this was just a part time job. She explained that she had another job and was working 7 days a week. The ice cream vendor was working three part time jobs and was looking for full time work. Neither appeared to be racist. The popcorn lady provided me with friendly service. Of course there are white racists who are poor, but I doubt either group wants to be poor. I believe being racist is a consequence of poverty due to lack of education and scapegoated promoted by manipulative plutocrats like 45. Of course there are middle class racist, but they are probably only one or two generations out of poverty and there are rich racists--who truly believe they are genetically superior, but they are just stupid. Some people understand intuitively, or through life experience, that racism is a flawed belief system. Anyone with a decent education should know this as well. Unfortunately given the state of our education system and our habit of consuming information through social media memes, both poverty and the racism it breeds will probably grow.
  12. 3 points
  13. 3 points
    I could see why you may feel like a "bitter Black woman lacking compassion," but I don't see it that way. If you were totally devoid of compassion you would not have bothered sharing your thoughts. Rather I think that you are a mature human being telling her truth. I'd be willing to bet that most people don't care about the things you mentioned. We are bombarded with so much it is hard to care about any--at least not until it effects you and then it is usually too late... I trust that at some point we will put our focus more on what people your age have to say @Cyniquerather than the twenty-somethings, and dysfunctional older people, who get all the media's attention. Maybe in that world people your age would feel more invested in what happens after they are gone and everyone else would benefit as a result. While most of the people who read what you write will not acknowledge it, you do have an audience who benefits from your thoughts. Hopefully you won't become too bitter to sharing them here.
  14. 3 points
    Hello all. Not sure where to post a general greeting so I'm just getting in where I fit in. I've had an account since last year and had intentions of joining the party then but got sidetracked by the fascination/horror of the election season. I also was in the process of preparing to exit the restaurant business of which I've been involved with for many years. I'm happy to talk about that and whatever else. Just don't ask me to cook. (Although I make potato salad you can trust.) Congratulations on a great community and I look forward to participating.
  15. 3 points
    No redeeming value in Cardi B's ode to herself, braggin' 'bout bling bought with tainted wealth, lookin for validation and hoping to impress, unable to conceal what caused her distress in the past life vows of a determined gonna-be filled with the dreams of a strivin wanna-be. No matter how much she repeats her chant, her hollow victory is a pathetic rant, a yearning to be crowed by fame when all that awaits is her turn in a game where playas win at being lame.
  16. 3 points
    @Del, I'm actually going to push back a little more on your statement and actually modify a statement previously made. Just today I was talking to another Brother, older, who runs a business as well. He employs several full time staff, in other words he runs a much larger business. We were discussing the relative advantages of his competitors and what advantages he offer tat they don't. One of the advantages he cited was that his business was Black owned. I told him that I actually did not find that being Black owned was an advantage. He explained that were it not for other Black people, he would not have a business. Upon reflection I had to recognize that the same was true for my business. Now I may not have as much support has I want from my community, and on too many occasions I may not have as much as I need, but I would not have a business were it not for my Brothers and Sisters. Indeed Del, while you are not writing checks to me on a regular basis your participation here makes this forum possible. You and all the regular contributors to this forum could be doing anything else, but you are a Black man who is supporting a Black business. In all seriousness and gratitude; thank you. Almost all of the active participants on this forum have been Black. If I depended upon white folks to keep this forum alive it would never have gotten off the ground. Now I'm not dismissing the support of white folks in keeping AALBC.com alive, but to be clear: there would be no AALBC.com with the support of my people. My sincere thanks to all of you
  17. 3 points
    Cynique, the operative word in your last post was "anecdote." Pioneer has a bad habit of taking his personal experiences and extending them to the broader community, indeed it is the way he sees the world. But this is natural, for anecdotes, especially personal ones, are very powerful. If is a good thing Pioneer is open to being in a place where his world view is rejected by others with different beliefs, experiences, and even facts. I respect him for that. @Pioneer1, you have so profoundly mischaracterized what I believe it would be too strenuous to refute what you wrote. I'll just let my previously expressed words do that. I will say however, that @Cynique and @Mel Hopkins's presence here is a prime example of Black women supporting a Black man. You see they, like you, could easily abandon AALBC.com and engage exclusively on the corporate owned social media platforms. This forum only exists because of folks like you. Now I could very easily complain about all the Black women, writers in particular, who benefit directly (read: financially) from the existence and efforts of AALBC.com, but do nothing to support the website. This of course would feed into your narrative and is actually supported by 20 years of my experience and data. Here's the thing, even though I have experience with supporting hundreds of Black women authors over a 20 year period, my experience is still an anecdote. I have absolutely no problem saying that Black female writers, for the most part do not support the website as much as I think they should (IMHO), but it would be wrong for me to use this experience to say that Black women do not support Black men in general. Do you see my point? Further, I also understand way Black female writers do not support the site as much as they should. Part of the reason is that don't know how to do it and why it matters. I also understand the pull of social media. it is so strong many writers have abandoned their own websites in favor of social media. Many Black women are struggling, like me, and don't really have the resources/time/energy to extend to others beyond themselves or their families. Of course there are some Black women who hate to see a Brother succeed and withhold support because they want an AALBC.com to fail, but these women are so small a factor they are not worth considering. That said, I think the letter was an overreaction and ill conceived. Using their reasoning each chapter could easily craft a letter warning travelers to avoid most of Florida, Chicago, New York City, Baltimore, Detroit, New Orleans, Philadelphia, the entire state of Mississippi, etc. I've been to Missouri a few times, mostly for conventions, and once for a family reunion. The have nice library and ball park, but again, I have no trouble avoiding the state--especially if a Black institution says it is not safe. Besides who says they are not ready to fight in Missouri? I'll disparage the letter, but I'm not willing to trash the Black male population of a state because I don't have enough information and I won't judge it on one letter from the NAACP.
  18. 3 points
    I would like to share an experience, something that happened to me yesterday during a beautiful summer day, just the kind i love to walk about and revel in, which was what i did, After ending a stroll around my block , i decided i would go sit on the back patio of where i live and contemplate life. I passed my grandson's car parked in the drive way on my way there . After settling into a chair, i sat there, basking in what might be my last summer on this earth because at my age tomorrow is not promised. Gradually, i became immersed in deep thought about life and its meaning and my entrenched resistance to religion. Slowly emerging from my pondering, i casually gazed around and noticed that my grandson's car was gone from the driveway and i hadn't even heard him leave because i was so deep in thought. Since i was getting hot and thirsty i decided i was ready to retreat into the cooler confines of my bed room. Knowing the back door to the house was always kept locked, i went round to the front, it never occurring to me that when my grandson left, he would lock the door. But, "lo and behold", that's what he had done, apparently thinking i was inside the house , chilling in my bedroom. So, there i stood baking in the heat, locked out; no phone with me, not to mention there was no one immediately available for me to call. I have never had anything but a nodding acquaintance with my white neighbors and at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, all the adults and able-bodied ones were probably at work. I took myself back to the patio and, after checking, sure enough the back door was locked. I took a seat, convinced because i was totally deserted, that i was in a dire predicament dangerous to my health , having nothing to anticipate but drying out in the sun until my daughter came home from work 5 hours later. My grandson was also gone for the day. What to do ? What to do? Time for more contemplating. i thought how i was the star of a scenario where i needed some help from the lord so many of my folks call upon in a time of need. Finally bestirring myself, i got to my feet and started investigating the house windows accessible from the patio,. But much to my distress, they were all sealed, the storm ones having never been removed - except for the last one that looked into my daughter's bedroom. It had no storm window and was open just a couple of inches. After much exertion i managed to raise it. The screen was my next obstacle. Wrestling with it, i eventually managed to get it out of the way and all that was left was for me to drag a wrought iron chair over for me to stand on and try and wriggle through the small window. i was out-of-breath, dehydrated and over-heated, but i pressed on with all the strength that was left in my 83-year-old tired body. Struggling and twisting, after squirming side-ways, i managed to halfway way get through the widow. More scuffling followed until i finally got inside, falling to the floor, knocking over a table and a lamp. My mental state was slightly confused, and all i could think of was to pick myself up, go unlock and open the front door, - as if this was some kind of reassurance . When i did this, coming up the front walk was a huge, roly-poly, bald-headed black man, bringing to mind a genie from a bottle. I stood there staring at him and he smiled as if to reassure that i had no reason to be alarmed. At closer scrutiny i saw that he was wearing a uniform, and parked in front of the house was a big fork-lift truck. He informed me he was from the village and was there in the neighborhood to inspect the dead limbs they would be removing from trees the next morning and to tell residents to park off the streets. i nodded dumbly and he was on his way, as i thought how he could've probably helped me had he appeared a half hour early. Anyway, after a matter of minutes I was ensconced in my bedroom, relaxing on my recliner, imbibing a refreshing Gatorade, as the overhead ceiling fan circulated cool air. Within the space of an hour my desperate situation had totally reversed itself, prompting me to again engage in contemplation. Had help come from above in the form of a village worker who could've rescued me, a hero i had no need for because, calling upon my inner strength, i had done for myself, what no one else was there to do? I don't know. What i do know is that I've never had a problem with the idea that god helps those who help themselves. Praying for help in this situation was not something i had enough faith to settle for.
  19. 3 points
    In the first 27 days of not using social media at all. My traffic from social media has actually gone up when compared to the prior 27 days. It is also higher than the traffic from the same 27 days in 2016. After about 6 months or so I'll write about the impact of not using social media on my business. My initial conclusion is the increase this just reflects how the impact of my personal activity on social media has been on my websites traffic. I have to admit I have sometimes I found it hard to ignore the desire to share something on social media that I just posted on this site. I feel like people will not learn about the interesting book or author I just posted. Intellectually, know this is just the result of 10 years of conditioning to use social media. I know of course over time this urge will diminish. From an online social perspective, I have y'all :-) From my family and friends perspective, most are not active on social and those that are, are the ones sharing the minutia from their daily lives--either way I don't feel like I'm missing anything, From news and information perspective, I know I'm better off ignoring social media. It has been interesting to see traditional news outlets start to sell themselves on the virtues of providing true journalism and not the fake news you find on social media. The subscriber base for the NY Times has increased. It appears the pendulum may be swinging the other way. Last night (March 26th), 60 Minutes aired a segment which spoke about Fake News. They demonstrated how websites can buy fake likes and shares, which not only gives people the false impression that articles are important but "tricks" social media into sharing these articles as trending--which greatly increases the organic reach of the entity buying the fake likes. I put "tricks" in quotes, because I know social media sites can identify the artificially amped up articles, but they have little incentive to remove this fake engagement because it helps the social media platforms too. I watch and enjoy the Showtime program Homeland. One of the threads in the season's series deals with social media and how is used to influence public opinion. This is straight out of the article @Mel Hopkins shared about how social media was used to influence the trump campaign. This is actually not the first time I stopped using Facebook. About 2.5 years ago I stopped as part of a much larger campaign called, 99 Days without Facebook, which asked the question would you be happier with Facebook. I hoped to use the campaign to encourage others to join the effort. I don't think I convinced a single to leave Facebook. I boycotted Facebook for 37 days. This boycott is different. I don't care if any joins me. I'm not even trying to convince anyone to. I'm relating my experience here for my own benefit as much as anyone else's
  20. 3 points
    Happy Father's Day to all the AALBC's community fathers! I only know for sure that @Troy is a father because I've spoken with his daughter So a special Happy Father's day to you Troy! @Delano, You've mentioned you saw your children in your previous partner - therefore Happy Father's Day! I believe @CDBurns is a dad too Happy Father's Day! @harry brown, @Pioneer1 @richardmurray Sending you all Happy Father's Day too. If you're not fathers, big hugs to you on this day anyway!
  21. 3 points
    Hi everybody. Great conversation. I have some thoughts I will share when I have more time
  22. 3 points
    @Troy i have friends from across the globe. I have gone out with African, Dominican, European, Australian, Austrian and Nordic. I think you can ask the question in reverse. Why are Black women less intersted in a nerdy, thinking, democratic guy who likes to dance. I think about this because when i was younger i didn't like brothers who dated non Black. I think the main reason is that I am too laid back. Plus I'm idiosyncractic. I'm pretty democratic with looks and weight.there's got to be a vibe. People used ti ask me what is my type. My response was a woman with that indescribable thing. I went out with a dark skin sister that was 5'5" and 95 pounds and a light skin sister that was almost double that weight. I guess for me i used to pick women the same way i picked friends. Interest. When i was younger I was into clubbing and the artsy fartsy crowd. If i was in Atlanta i probably woyld have dated more sisters.
  23. 3 points
    I absolutely would use my extrasensory perception for financial gain. From time to time I feel like I have extra sensory experiences. For example, when I was a kid, if I was in the lobby of my apartment building I knew what my mother was preparing for dinner --especially if it was something I liked. I could "smell" the meal. Years later I realized it was physically impossible for me to smell a meal that was being prepared in an apartment 3 stories away, but if happened so frequently it could not be chalked up to coincidence. I even experienced this in within the last few years. Now I can't do it on demand it just comes to me. I've also had the persistent thought that the Earth as we know it will not persist. Interestingly, it is not a negative feeling, more of a feeling of pending transition. It is not a situation that only I experience, like my own death, but one many people will experience or transition that many people will experience simultaneously. Again I'd know what it means or even if I could understand it, but it feels like something that will occur in my natural life time.
  24. 3 points
    True, cheating, by definition, is behaving in a way that goes counter to the rules, as in the case with conventional marriage vows. Most "cheaters" I'm aware of don't make much of an effort to cover up their tracks; Bill Clinton, Anthony Weiner, etc. Reapers simply wrote cheating is "fucked up end of discussion." I wonder what she (you know Guest Reaper is a she), believes we should do with cheaters? Should we execute them? Give them a stern talking to? What? Christian ministers cheat and eternal damnation does not seem to deter them. Public humiliation did not seem to bother Bill Clinton. Losing his family, many millions of dollars, and perhaps his career did not stop Tiger Woods.
  25. 3 points
    I liked the movie. And I disagree with Aries. All black people are not going to hang out with people in the hood and be "down." There are some black people I would not like to hang out with. 1). Hood people who are ignorant and have no hope. 2). Boogie black people who are not real with themselves and think they are above all other black people. I came from a rough city. There are those who referred to themselves as "niggas" and stayed where they were. And there are those who fought their way out through education and work, who would have nothing in common with the people who chose to stay "down" and to stay "niggas." Aries makes it as though all black people naturally gravitate to a rough crowd, and those in the rough crowd are the more authentic black people. I beg to differ.