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it is only an "excuse" if it stops you from trying -- which no one here is advocating.

Interesting responses. I admit I have to stop myself sometimes from making superficial judgments. It doesn't take long for me to remember skin color is not a reliable indication of one's allegiance to a culture. A Black woman in a MAGA hat (I've seen it!) may not likely have more in common with me than, say, a Latinx or Asian woman raised outside of the USA. I don't mind taking pleasure in seeing an impressive Black couple like Barrack and Michelle. But I also recognize my reaction is based on appreciating the odds they must overcome to find on another. Being a Black male in some environments sometimes feels like being an endangered panda or something. The odds of finding a similar mate in the wild is daunting! The search starts with compromises. You may both be in complimentary professions and share hobbies, but you live in different cities and have a socially questionable age gap. That sort of thing. I've trained myself to not make assumptions. I know how hard it is out there. Some have to work with what they have, even making concessions on what they thought their partner's skin color would be. I've never found a wife, so I'm not the best to give advice. This is just my point-of-view at this moment.

@Troy NOPE! Clarence Thomas is hateful period. We just hate his ass the same way we hate Kavanaugh. Aside: Candace is a sellout period. I doubt she believes anything she says. She's a good looking tool and the sexist misogynists GOP appreciate good looking women period - and if they can use them to achieve a goal - they will. And they reward/pay folks well. Especially good looking smart black women. I'm sure that's true of all politicians but they don't make it a secret. If you married a white woman - I already know she'd be down for the cause. She'd be fit, fierce and fine - because you can't be slipping when you married outside your ethnic group. Since you are one of the good ones - you can't settle for less. Some of us black women have a saying - "We' glad you took him. hon'. Maybe his genes will have a chance" - Kinda like what we said about Jay Z and Beyonce when it came to the looks department. [ok that's all just awful - charge it to this sore throat I'm dealing with this morning] But I digress. That's how it works when you marry a compatible partner no matter what skin they're in. If you met my ex - you'd see how much a like we are. It's how we ended up raising successful daughters - we share similar perspectives on life. I'm also reminded of the guy from Power -Omari Hardwick (?) his wife is anglo and I swear she is more militant than I could ever be. Maybe she's more militant because she is anglo and therefore gets a pass - but still she's a roughneck when it comes to championing the Black cause and Black lives matter. I don't find anything you wrote as racist -because while you can be bigoted/prejudice you need to hold the power to be racist.

The FIRST bookstore in Oregon you should check out (if you haven't already) is POWELL'S CITY OF BOOKS. I used to frequent it a lot when I lived in Portland and fell in love with the joint.