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LAST WEEK ON A 2007 EPISODE OF BAISDEN AFTER DARK ON TV ONE..PASTOR HAGGINS SUGGESTED COUPLES WATCH PORN TO GET SEXUALLY STIMULATED,REALLY.SO JESSE JACKSON, JESSE JACKSON JR, BISHOP EDDIE LONG WERE THEY ALL WATCHING PORN,/PREACHERS THAT CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES, OR A PREACHERS SON, .BISHOP EDDIE LONG SHOULD BE OFF THE PULPIT AND BEHIND BARS FOR SEXUALLY ROMANCING YOUNG BOYS...,IN THE 1990'S PREACHER HENRY LYONS WAS LOCKED UP FOR STEALING I THINK 4 MILLION.HE CHEATED ON HIS WIVES, AFTER RELEASED HE GOT MARRIED AGAIN.....,IF THE CHURCH WANTS THE COMMUNITY TO HAVE SEX DISCIPLINE,THE PREACHERS SHOULD HAVE SEXUAL SELF CONTROL....I THINK PREACHER JAMAL BRYANT WHO COMES ON SUNDAY MORNINGS , I THINK HE HAD A MISTRESS AND A CHILD, LIKE JESSE JACKSON......

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Pastor suggesting watch a porn for sexual stimulation on a couple? This is very wrong, unless for elders having erection problems or something like that. Couples having poor sexual activities doesn't mean they don't have the stimulation for each other and having a suggestion of watching porn "from a Pastor" may be very awkward.

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I agree. Any time a couple has to resort to anything other than the sensuality of their bodies to become aroused, the thrill is gone, - or was never there in the first place. They say, for women especially, that the brain is the sex organ. And attentive pampering is good foreplay. Is it any wonder that having a successful marriage requires a lot of work. :mellow:

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Yeah, I believe in that and I think it's for both of the sexes, they say when the mind isn't in the right place, then he or she won't enjoy sex and the partner probably won't either. I like hearing successful marriage as it inspire me a lot

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I agree. I think that if the sex is bad, then one (if not both) of the parties to the marriage (relationship) has disconnected. His or her mind is somewhere else. And if one person isn't into it, then how can the sex be a good experience for the other? They say "it takes two to tango" for a reason. Before you know it, both people are cheating. At the very minimum, one is cheating, and the other is comtemplating it.

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Wow, what a discussion... Porn, Sex and Religion. Well, as I've journeyed through this thang called life, I've learned that there are a few topics that a person should not touch. I mean, unless a person is prepared for a mountain of "push-back" and controversy, there are some subjects that will surely find them in a heap of trouble. Having said that, and although I've never liked discussing politics, religion or another man's wife, I'm gonna jump in this discussion. See, I was married for 35 years and I learned a few things along the way. Well, first, sex is a very powerful "tool". It can be used to attract another person and control another person. However, it will not be, nor should be the glue that binds a couple together. Because truth be told, it will have periods of "depression". How the couple kick-starts those down periods or regenerates those feelings of the first years of their union is and should be a private affair. If it takes a porn flick or sexual involvement out of their normal habit of "spread it, get it and go" then that's their mission and who has the right to defines how another couple should reach their bliss?

So I am here to say, sometimes, although the couples love may be a strong as the first 6 months, sex and sex organs, and the impulses that control them are very complicated, and they have little to do with love. So, I thought about this for some time and came up with what I believe is a good message. Actually, what I am about to present came by way of someone else who spent a little time on the subject. Here it goes:

If you always do what you've always done

You'll always get the same old stuff

Life can treat you good, then turn as cold as ice

And believe me when I tell you

This thing called love, for sure is like most things in life

Not all bad, not all good

(It's just something that I believe)

Not all cold, not all hot

(Yeah, I like that, not all hot)

Not all bitter, not all sweet

(Sounds all right to me)

So don't miss all the good, waiting for the best

There's still happiness, right in the middle

Perfect love sounds real nice

But that never seemed to happen

With any relationship of mine

It was always up and down, in then out

And after the last goodbye

I still didn't know what it was all about

You get disappointed if it ain't bliss all the time

And you get so annoyed

It can't feel the same every night, love it

Not all bad, not all good

(I'm tryin' to tell you that it's)

Not all high, not all low

(Not all high and not all low)

Not all heaven, not all hell

And as far as I, as far as I can tell

It's not some prize you win

You don't have a thing to prove

Just enjoy the groove right in the middle

'Cause I've learned when it comes to love

It's the exact same reality

That's why they say, ...Que sera, sera...

Which means, whatever's gonna be is gonna be

Whatever's gonna be is gonna be

Whatever's gonna be is gonna be

Not all bad, not all good

(I need somebody to understand)

Not all sunshine, not all rain

(You know that too much of a good thing is really no good)

Not all laughter, not all tears

(I'm only trying to tell you)

To let your good times roll, keep your self control

And there's a lotta soul, right in the middle.

Right In The Middle by Luther Vandross

BTW, Luther also did another song by the name of CREEPIN' *winking at writergirls870's suggestion/comment*

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"Up To No Good" by Carl Weber which I discussed in a another post was a rather racy book, with frequent references to sex in all of its lewd variations. When the 15-members of my book club, which consists of a fairly diverse cross section of females, took up the discussion of this book, the one subject which drew the most input was the porn vibe which resonated throughout the plot. As usual, most of these women complained because they are repelled by any book which is "too nasty", and contains too many references to sex. EU. Young ones, older ones, single ones, divorced ones, married ones and widowed ones, all had a reaction to the erotic aspects of this book. These strait-laced divas like drama but not sleaze and of course they want the books to end with everyone living happily ever after. Naturally, I am in the minority during these discussions and when me and a couple of others disagree with these prudes, they raise their eyebrows. On the other hand, we think they are tight-asses.

On this most recent occasion, I found myself wondering if watching porn could turn these "madonnas" into "whores". I dunno. As I previously remarked in this post, with woman, the sex organ is the brain. In a marriage, emptying the garbage or helping with the kids can be foreplay for the wife. "Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love" is an old cliche, but it still applies.

During my 50-year marriage, my late husband and i would occasionally watch porn, and to us it was like comic relief. We managed to produce 5 kids without the benefit of celluloid aphrodisiacs. Sex toys, however, can certainly enhance intimacy because they involve one-on-one interaction and physical contact.

When it comes to sex, I apply the same principle as I do to religion. Whatever, floats your boat.

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I'm sure the black and white answer is: porn is not a good thing. Most of the porn out there is not a reflection of what a healthy sex life is and should be. Watching too much of it can give people a warped sense of sex. Yes, when it comes to sex in a marriage, there isn't a perfect definition of what works and what doesn't. One person's disgusting act is another person's fantasy. And if both people are will to try new things AWESOME. But most porn involves victimizing girls that didn't have a healthy childhood. And to buy it, subscribe to it, and watch it means your supporting an industry that doesn't care about these females. So, I would prefer to try new and daring things on our own before giving money to an industry like that.

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Most of the porn out there is not a reflection of what a healthy sex life is and should be. Watching too much of it can give people a warped sense of sex.

I feel the same way. I wonder about the people who are watching this stuff and using it as an example of what to do with a man or a woman. My mind first goes to the young people checking out this stuff on the internet. If they think *this* is what sex is supposed to be like when they finally start doing it, then I feel sorry for them. This stuff isn't real. It's just there to help somebody get off. And unfortunately, with the internet, it's so readily available that folk are getting hooked left and right. And I'm sure that like with most things, when done in excess, porn is bad for you.

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Ever check out the Zane Chronicles on Cable TV? This urban erotica portrays ordinary people enjoying the hell out of sex, which is why it's not that offensive. I would classify it as soft porn.

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Actually, soft porn is cool, and so is Zane. I should have clarified. I was referring to some of that way out shit. Then again, I guess everybody has their own definition of "way out"...for me, way out would be rape, brutality, anything that sets the mind up to get off on predatory type of behaviors...Seriously, how long can a person watch that crap before watching isn't good enough...before they have to actually find themselves a victim?

Now as far as the preachers and porn side of the discussion...I have to say that I am not surprised to find out that preachers are watching porn, cheating on their wives, and sleeping with young boys. Honestly, I don't even know why we put preachers on pedestals. In my opinion they are no different than police officers, doctors, etc. They are just people doing their job. Some folk do a good job, others, not so much.

At the end of the day, regardless of what drew a person to that position, life has a way of kicking a person in his/her ass & what started off as being "important" (like pleasing God & caring for the congregation) usually fades into the background as bills & wants take over.

So it's only a matter of time before even a preacher will gravitate toward doing the things that makes HIM/HER happy, as opposed to looking out for the flock, or doing "God's Work." At the end of the day, these folk are only human. We shouldn't be horrified when then "fall." When we put them on pedestals, we give them power that they don't even deserve.

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A Christian pastor suggesting one view porn is absurd. Typically the participants engaged in sex in a pornographic film are committing adultery. Why any pastor would encourage someone to view this stuff is beyond me.

As far as everyone, else participating in them or watching them -- that is up them; as long as folks are doing it voluntarily (I know a very slippery term), I have no problem with it.

I do however believe people can get a warped sense of what to expect in the bedroom especially if most of their experience is based upon porn. But sex is such a charged and sensitive subject few people including married coupled can have a meaning conversation about the subject.

If Haggns spend a split second he might have figured out the underlying problem and given them more helpful, advise more inline with their supposed belief system.

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I have to step back in on the preachers who "tear their eyes". So again, I have to reference the Bible. If one reads the Bible they would know the position and responsibilities/duties of a Pastor/Preacher/Reverend, or whatever one wishes to call himself. However, just as important are the responsibilities and expectations of the congregation. Listen, if everyone in the church was above reproach, there would not be any need for the church. Heck, one of the books of The Bible is called First Corinthians or 1 Corinthians, it's message was directed at the people who lived in the city of Corinth. The author's sole intend usually contained his intentions and efforts to improve the community (there was confusion and contempt in the church). I am suggesting that everyone in the church -- ANY CHURCH -- may have indiscretions/sins in their closet, their car, their bedroom, in their hearts & mind, consequently, to stratify the message-giver to a Godly position is an err in judgment. Don't get me wrong, just as a son or daughter respects their parents, the position of a Pastor should get that same kind of respect. The parent, or the Pastor may do wrong, but they are the leaders of their families.

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So congregations should blindly follow their leaders, - flawed tho they may be, huh? Forget about expecting accountablity from ministers not practicing what they preach. Is that it?

A leader needs to earn respect in order to maintain a loyal following. A preacher should set an example; not provide an excuse for church members to also do wrong. Who wrote Corinthians? A self-serving hypcrite? Why can't the message be that weak, deceitful leaders should be replaced by strong ones with integrity and scruples, chosen from among the dissenters?

And who is interpretating the words of Corinthians? Somebody who is a self-appointed spin doctor, suggesting that deferring to a father to keep the family together is a valid analogy to ignoring the transgressions of a preacher in order to maintain the stability of the church. What if the head of the house is a wife beater who molests his daughter? Just go along with it, huh. No wonder a congregation has come to be thought of as a flock of obedient sheep, kept in line by a shepherd who will eventually fleece them. Baaaa.

Puleeze. Be advised that when you come here thumping the bible, you invite responses from those who resist mind-control.

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Carey to clarify my point a bit. If a preacher can not, in the privacy of his own home, adhere to the most basic tenets of his faith, then he should remove himself. He certainly should not be misguiding the followers. At best he is a very dumb or ignorant man at worse is is a devil in preacher's clothing.

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Cynique, who suggested any of what you wrote? I was pointing out the fact that each person has his own responsibility when it comes to his or her position in the church. That includes finding the best source available to them (teacher, preacher,mentor, bible study group, etc) to interpret the Bible. My reference to Corinthians was only use to illustrated the fact that everyone in the church, regardless of their position, is not above reproach. So Cynique, again you've let your insecurities take you down a dark alley of skepticism and cynicism. You should be very cautious using the words "mind control" because it's obvious you're trapped in your own mind of hatred and pain.

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Everything I wrote was suggested by what you originally said, Carey. Your attempt to do damage control by trying to give your original ramblings a do-over is just a typical example of your trying to blame others for your inablity to articulate.

And just what is it that I'm "insecure" about? Puleeze. When it comes to religion, what would I be insecure about when all I have to do to feel secure would be to believe whatever it is that pacifies me. Is that too difficult for you to figure out???? As usual your lame attempt to psycho-analyse me proves more about you and your gnawing need to inflate yourself. Do you ever wonder why it makes you happy to convince yourself that I am in pain and full of hate. huh? huh? huh? Just off hand, I'd say it has something to do with providing an explanation for why I don't love your stupidity or ache with a desire to hear your blather. Ya think?

Or do I have any intention about using caution when it comes to "mind control". Stupid advice coming from someone whose opinion I have no respect for, someone who has never been a free or original thinker; just a droning voice who parrots the phrases and ideas of others, imprisoned by the narrow confines of an intellect that is grounded in a slave mentality.

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