An Appetite For Speed

[Cynique]

Eating is fundamental in the American experience. We are an overweight nation of delinquent dieters, furtively preoccupied with feeding our faces. And when it comes to holiday menus, nobody pays more homage to food than traditionalists who remain loyal to the time-consuming dishes that are anachroisms in a society which thrives on instant gratification. In fact, cooking from “scratch” is a badge of distinction reserved for those who spend hours in a kitchen, laboring over a hot stove, stirring and tasting, and wiping their hands on their aprons,

Blacks, in their soul food mode, especially like to salivate over “Motha Dear’s” home-made recipes. And, although, with the advent of modern food processing, we’ve pretty much gotten past the generation of nose-twisters who resolutely proclaimed that they “don’t eat everybody’s chitlins” - the idea being that some folks don’t do a good job of cleaning this delicacy - there are still those among us who roll their eyes and purse their lips should a certain dish appear next to the greens and macaroni and pound cake on a table ladened with a holiday spread.

As someone who balks at the idea of spending hours in the kitchen, I endorse the creativity that entails getting maxium results in a minimum amount of time. And, with Christmas dinner gatherings coming up, that is what inspires me to take this opportunity to give a thumbs up to the much-maligned “Stove Top Corn Bread Dressing”! To say that there are others who don’t share my enthusiasm for this product is a understatement. There’s an element of black folks who regard this packaged item as an insult to their palates, the serving of which is comparable to commiting fraud. Unless stuffing involves an old family recipe which requires a lot of time and attention to prepare, these purists would rather go without than betray their allegiance to grit.

It doesn’t matter if turkey drippings straight from the roaster are substituted for the water and butter the Stove Top directions call for, - it makes no difference if green peppers, onions, and celery are tossed in, - or if the flavor is enhanced with seasoned salt and pungent sage. No amount of “doctoring up” is enough to sway the anti-stove top crowd.

Aaah, but I have the ultimate pay back! What will add salt to the wounds of these purists, is the sight of me wincing before adding salt to the blah speciality that they have contributed to the menu. The coup d’etat comes when less-discriminating gluttons descend on the tasty 10-minute treat, scooping up “seconds”. Ummm, good.

…defending Stove Top dressing…nervous about the future of my post office pension…frustrated with the Chicago Bears. Sigh. It’s enough to make a gal think about hopping aboard the next light beam bound for the “earth twin” that astronomers have just discovered in the midst of a galaxy far, far away...

[Crystal]

I say YES to the Stove Top Corn Bread Dressing! And I don't doctor it up at all. Dump it in the pot with water and butter and you're good to go.

I had this discussion with my Mother and Sister:

Me: Why do we have to have dressing, sweet potatoes, mac & cheese AND monkey bread [decades long standing favorite family recipe] along with the greens and green beans [and maybe some turnip bottoms], turkey AND ham [and maybe a goose if my son finds one]. All for 5 people! And do we really need a cake AND a pie?

Charming Sister: Because it's tradition.

Me: But we just had this same menu 2 weeks ago at T'giving.

Mom: Whatever [her 82 year old response to just about everything now days].

Oh well, since I won't be cooking any of it [maybe I'll help roll out the bread] but I will be doing the clean up after. That's when everybody else is out of the kitchen and that extra rum from the rum balls comes in handy.

Ahh the Holidays!

Crystal

[Cynique]

Great to hear I've got a soul sista out there, Crystal. I can relate to having the same menu for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ain't that krazy? We are creatures of habit, I guess. However, I don't have to worry about cleaning up after the meal. The festive, glazed, paper plates and sturdy plastic utensils get thrown out ..... So gauche!

[Troy]

Stove top I use it everything I prepare a Thanksgiving feast. I add a pound of crumpled spicy Parks sage sausage when I prepare min. Sometime i stuff the turkey, but all that does make cooking the turkey a little difficult. I bake the Turkey and stuff it afterwards if I want to make an impression.

I actually I don't; even like Turkey (unless it has been fried or covered in gravy), I don't even eat it during the holidays if there is another meat available. this year I had ribs :-)

Our family's Christmas dinner is ordering Chinese take out. I usually get Peking Duck.