Jump to content

Is Marriage Relevant?

Recommended Posts

Recently I've been highlighting married couple who have written books and maintained successful marriages. Doing one is difficult. Doing both is rare and I think really noteworthy. Apparently that idea puts me in the minority.

With the exception of the Obama's, so much time an energy is spent focusing on the negative aspects of marriage: The astonishingly high divorce rates, the out of wed lock babies the disintegration of the Black family, the Will and Jada Smiths of the world, etc I figured I'd invest a little energy to buck the trend and highlight the positive.

I've used Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter to highlight couple ranging from Mr. & Mrs. Jaquavis and Ashley Coleman to Mr. & Mrs Richard and Valerie Wilson Wesley.

So far the reaction has been a deafening silence. I've had accidental Facebook posts generate more interest and reaction. While I knew better than to expect the reaction I got from something more negative like bookstore closings or scandalous like a

-- but the absence of reaction to my married couple profiles is almost alarming.

I still plan to write a blog post about married literary couple, mention it in my next enewsletter, a post a link on my home page and get the full force of AALBC.com behind the highlighting of married couples; which will give me a better indication of the reaction of a wider audience. But initial reaction is so muted. I decided to cut the initiative short.

I spoke to a couple of people about the muted reaction and the general consensus is that most people are not married and they are not interested in hearing about others who are. I have to admit that thought occurred to me as well. At any rate, in a couple of weeks after my eNewsletter goes out I'll have a better indication.

What do you all think?


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happily married couples and the harmonious relationships that allow them to work on projects together like writing books can, in a word, be "boring". A smiling picture of a twosome full of love and compatibility, who have cooperated and compromised in the process of achieving success, can sometimes come across as smug. "Look at us! Aren't we admirable? Too bad you can't pull this off."

Marriage in today's world can be difficult. All you ever hear is that marriage requires a lot of hard word and dedication. The problem is, is that the last thing a stressed-out person feels like being dedicated to is the hard work required to tolerate a person in your space. Life is too short for the ongoing arduous pursuit of mediocrity, inasmuch as a perfect marriage is very elusive.

It's the same with parenthood. Most parents regard their kids as symbols of their sacrifice and objects of their pride. And many of them are miffed when they see childless couple enjoying their carefree lives, harboring no envy of doting mommies and daddies. "How dare you reject what we want to boast about?"


It's all because times and circumstances have changed, of course. Women have become independent, men are still polygamous, and marriage interferes with self-indulgence.

As someone who was wed for 50 years, when asked to what I attribute the longevity of my marriage, I respond by explaining that this union lasted because my husband and I liked each other, and both enjoyed laughing at life's absurdities. We had different interests but still had things in common. When I decided I wanted to try writing books, he said something to the effect of "knock yourself out. I'll buy you a computer and don't bug me anymore". The thought of us sitting down to write a book together conjured up images of yawns and nudges. When I hosted a small book launching party for family and friends at our home, he presented me with a dozen roses, informing me that he wanted a free copy of the book, and my autographing it was optional. The only critique he ever offered was to suspiciously note that I seemed particularly adept at writing steamy love scenes.

Is marriage relevant? I don't know. Just depends on the couple. I would say that it is a prudent choice if children are involved. And, who can discount the communication and companionship obviously involved when a pair decides to become co-authors and satisfactorily accomplishes their goal?

Hopefully, someone less cynical, will offer more input.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cynique your feedback is always interesting providing a new ways to look at something. Sounds like you and hubby had a great relationship :wub:

I thought about the the issue of the posts being perceived a smug or bragging, but figured that would not be a problem since it is not the authors themselves showing off but me, a 3rd party. I hope to get to the Blog post this weekend and an eNewsletter next week then I'm gonna take it easy for a few...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just posted my blog post featuring 12 married couples in which both partners are writers:http://aalbc.it/marriedauthors

I think the list is pretty interesting. There are such a wide variety of folks featured. They all seen pretty tight with each other I've met a few of the couples and the ones I know personally, like Wade and Cheryl Hudson or Steven and Tananarive or Gwen and Willie Richardson are just really beautiful.

I could have easily doubled the list.

If I had time I would check to see if authors are married at a higher rate than the general population. If that is true it is probably because the characteristics that make you a good writer also make you a good spouse. :wub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...