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Tyger Tyger Burning Bright


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Many years ago, in a galaxy far far away, me and an old white man were talking about Richard Pryor.

"Y'know," he said. "When he stopped using the dope he wasn't funny no more."

He was absolutely right.

Most of us have something we do along with what we really DO that makes us able to function. Some of us are no good without our morning coffee. Others must slurp their little cup of gruel and nibble on our acorns and twigs. Others of us must get on AALBC and rant and rave.

It has been long accepted that an athlete should not have sex before a contest. Made sense to me. Being horny always made me mean. I was ready to rumble.

This is not so. Muhammad Ali and Lawrence Taylor, among others often had to have sex BEFORE the contest to be any good.

Different strokes. Which brings us down to Mr. Woods.

Some may say his lackluster performance yesterday was due to rust. Others to nerves.

I say it was because they took away his WHITE WOMEN!

Obviously he gotta have it or he's no good.

What to do? I say that he should say to hell with it and go back to whoring. If not, at least he ought to have his "fans" send him dirty pictures or panties to sniff.

What say you?

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Who cares what that jack-off Tiger's next move should be? He screwed himself up. Let him eat Mickelson's shorts, and stew in the Kodak moment all of his white detractors are rubbing his nose in as the Master's winner, replete in his green jacket, like a good and true faithful husband, embraces his cancer-stricken wife who left her sick bed to come and cheer him on to victory. Pardon me while I barf.

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Who cares what that jack-off Tiger's next move should be? He screwed himself up. Let him eat Mickelson's shorts, and stew in the Kodak moment all of his white detractors are rubbing his nose in as the Master's winner, replete in his green jacket, like a good and true faithful husband, embraces his cancer-stricken wife who left her sick bed to come and cheer him on to victory. Pardon me while I barf.

(Ahh--that's life isn't it. Cynique, once the most loyal and vociferous of Tyger fans, now covers him with ignominious ignominity.

Riding High in April, shot down in May.)

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I have NEVER been a Tiger fan! I find golf a boring game and was always turned off by Tiger's excessive displays of self glory in celebrating victories, and excuse-riddled moping when he was defeated.

Cynique, I’m going to have to differ with you about this. I’ve never seen Tiger dancing a jig, uncontrollably pumping his hands in the air or celebrating a victory with notable theatrics and melodrama. And I don’t know of him openly whining, hyper excuse making or pointing fingers at others when he lost. I talked to a good friend of mine who is a golf kinda guy about this and he said he has never seen him to act in the manner you suggested either. When and where did you see this behavior?

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You mean to tell me that you don't see on the sports segments of the news all the animated gyrations Tiger goes through when he wins a game or makes a tough shot??? You haven't seen him being interviewed when he loses, never graciously congratulating his opponents only making excuses as to why he lost??? Guess not.

I am not the only one who has made these observations. You and your friend, aside, he does have his critics who number among sports commentators and opponents, and Tiger skulking off the field in a snit after his loss in the Masters was a picture worth a thousand words. Of course, this behavior does not make him unique among jocks with the notoriously large egos that contribute to them being sore losers. But I have always been struck by the difference between him and NBA and NFL "coons" who never hesitate to admit they got their asses kicked when they lose and are quick to give their opponents credit where credit is due.

But, feel free to disagree with my perspective on this as you define what you think I meant by what I said. heh-heh.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Cynique, again I have to agree with Xeon. I mean, you obviously do not watch many sporting events. If you asked 1000 sports fans to give you fifty names of sports figures that display the attitude that you've misquidedly laid on Tiger, I doubt if his name would leave their mouth.

Pumping of his fist is nothing. Have you seen golfers jump in a nearby pond? I have. Have you seen golfers break their golf clubs on a nearby tree or throw them in the forest... I have. How about kicking their ball off the green? Have you seen golfers run completely around a green after making a shot or winning a championship... I have. And Tiger has never done any of that.

Admit it, you're just a Tiger hater, because you know very little about golf or human emotions. Tell me, do you do a jig when you lose @ your Internet card games? Have you ever participated in any form of high level competition? I mean, do you smile or leap with joy when you're not the victor? I know one thing for sure... you do not display the character of a person that loses gracefully. How do you act when you win? Do you drop to the floor and do 50 push-ups?

So, I am going to repeat Xeon question. Give us one specific event in which Tiger displayed emotions that were far beyound the normal emotions of a person that has lost a major event or won a major championship.

I believe you are really reaching on this one. Of all the things you've said over the years, this nonsense is at the top of your blopper list.

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Careycarey (so nice he named himself twice), I don't watch golf either, but from what I've heard in the media Tiger has a repurtation for the behavior he describes. Now that may be media hype, but the fact remains he does have that reputation.

You may have a point though about Tiger. If he can't be allowed to be his true self other aspects of his life will suffer. Can you image the world following you around taking notes and photos as you try to "get some"?

As far as sex before a competition. I guess it is a matter of what kind of session you are having. If it is a quickie that would help eliminate stress. But if we are talking about laying some serious pipe that would tend to deplete your energy - not something I'd recommend before a boxing match, but for a golf competition, it probably would not make much difference...

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*LOL* @ "laying some serious pipe"... What you talkin' bout Willis. Troy, as I look at that younger picture of you, I am left to wonder if that afro got messed up when you were laying serious pipe :lol: I mean, were you left with enough energy to comb that Fro? Let alone do a hand stand on the parallel bars. Btw, what exactly is laying pipe? I mean, is that some kind of construction work? ;)

Okay, I understand this... "but from what I've heard in the media Tiger has a repurtation for the behavior he describes".

However, what exactly is that behavior, and again, you said it, much of it is media hype. To sulk after a match is common to all atheletes. Who wants to answer questions after a grueling defeat. Sure, many get in front of the mic and say some cookie cutter ass sh*t, but most see that as nothing more than fake ass BS.

But lets look at the other side of this. When have you, or anyone, seen Tiger parade around after a victory or down other golfers by popping his collar, or getting in the face of his opponents, as many basketball and football players often do?

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Carey's mind seems to be unable to process the fact that he defends Tiger on the same principle that I attack him. He's a Tiger fan; I am not. I concluded my post by saying that my remarks were my perspective on Tiger, but Carey, as usual, has to try and substantiate his argument by getting personal.

All of the question he posed to me, were answered in the post he was responding to but his befuddled mind can't sort this out. He has to try and re-configure and distort the scenarios to substantiate his flawed arguments. Bottom line is that he thinks that because he says I am wrong, this makes it so. No wonder he's a fan of that ego-centric Tiger. He says people who congratulate their opponents and acknowledge that they were outplayed are just BS-ing. He's too ignorant to perceive this as being a good sport; putting aside your disappointment by being gracious.

And, no, I don't throw tantrums when I don't win card games, or mope if the opponents in any game I participate in play a good game. Carey invariably judges others by himself.

BTW, the word is spelled "blooper", not "blopper".

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NO! Cyniques change-up in mid stream? Watch it Chris, Cynique will take you out of her Fab 5. I mean, don't even think about going into the archieves to put her in check. Yes, she has jumped the fence on this one.

Cynique, If you spent as much time watching what you say, as you do correcting my spelling, you'd be a better debator.

See, these are not my words... "He says people who congratulate their opponents and acknowledge that they were outplayed are just BS-ing. He's too ignorant to perceive this as being a good sport; putting aside your disappointment by being gracious"

These are my words... "Sure, many get in front of the mic and say some cookie cutter ass sh*t, but most see that as nothing more than fake ass BS"

Now tell me Ms Cynique, do you see the qualifier in my statement? I did not say ALL "congratulations". Your brand of magic might work in a class of 2nd graders.

You have a propensity to make statements that beg for more clarification. Case in point, the following is not true... "All of the question he posed to me, were answered in the post he was responding to but his befuddled mind can't sort this out. He has to try and re-configure and distort the scenarios to substantiate his flawed arguments"

You DID NOT answer all the questions. You made a few general statements. You are yet to give us a specific event in which Tiger displayed the attitudes you've mentioned. I mean, I don't want to hear "he was mad at the masters, or he pumped his fist @ the PGA championship". Those types of comments are too broad. Example: Coach Ryan, of the NY Jets, was approached by a reporter on January 12th, while on vacation in New Orleans. Ryan was leaving a bar in the French Quarters, when the reporter asked him a personal question that Ryan didn't agree with. The verbose coach shoved the report and gave him the finger. The entire conversation was caught on tape. The following words have lead to Ryan's suspension... "If you don't get that fu*king camera out of my face..."

While you are mulling over your reply, could you correct a few of my misspelled words wink.gif

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In the first place I don't have to answer your questions, carey. Who are you to demand an explanation? You're nobody but a numb skull who can't read with comprehension, and who desperately accuses me of switching up when my criticism about Tiger has been consistent. And what was relevant about the example you gave to support your points????

Furthermore, I can think whatever I want to about Tiger and if it doesn't meet with your cock-eyed approval it's too friggin bad. You just can't get past the idea that just because YOU feel a certain way about something, that that makes it right. Tiger is a controversial character. His fans defend him. Other people who have a different set of values criticize him. Get it??? Naturally, a slippery con-man like you would appreciate an attitude that reflects "I'm the greatest and when I make a good play or win a game it's because I am such a superb athlete that I am entitled to crow about it and when I lose, it's because my opponents got lucky." I acknowledged from the get-go that there were other athletes who fall into this category but you ignore this.

How gratifying to watch my Chicago Bulls and the Cleveland Cavaliers embrace and shake hands last night after the Bulls lost by 2 points and were eliminated from the play-offs. Guess you consider these teams to be bunch of wussies because the Bulls didn't stoop to the kind of pouting you attempt to justify and the Cavaliers refrained from the gloating you find acceptable. Yes, nice guys often finish last, but a true sportsman appreciates that "it's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game". It's refreshing when this brand of integrity supercedes the "winning is not everything, it's the only thing" mentality that dominates the arena of pro sports.

And I constantly make reference to your poor spelling because it's an example of how oblivious you are to simple details and how this is an indication of the flawed mentality that keeps you from being a critical thinker. How hard can it be to correctly spell "blooper"??? Any third-grader could sound it out. Watta Dummy.

And in response to Chrishayden, I HAVE NEVER BEEN A TIGER WOODS FAN! I may have ridiculed those who expected him to be a hero and barfed at the maudlin scenario played out after the Masters game by Greg Norman and his wife, but Tiger has never inspired my admiration. Or am I church woman who wears a big hat. Get real.

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Let me see... where is my list of names? Oh, here it is... Lame Brain #92, Jail bird #93, Blabber Mouth #93, Old Refrigerator #94, Slippery Con Man jumps in at #95, Dummy slids in at #96. Dang Cynique, that's about 10 new words for every year that you've been calling me names. I can't wait for #100. That should be a duzy!

The Bulls were tickled pink to even be in the playoffs. I see why they were all smiles. But lets see the look on The Thrilla Gorilla's face after this next series.

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The word is spelled "doozy" not duzy, Carey. You do a great job of living up to the names I give you.

Of course nobody likes to lose but I'll be willing to bet that when the buzzer sounds in the 4th quarter of the NBA final championship game, winners and losers will embrace and shake hands and pat one another on the butt and compliment each other on having played a "good game". This display of grace under fire will undoubtedly make you cringe because it's an example that calls for having a little bit of class.

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"You do a great job of living up to the names I give you"

Is that right? Well Cynique, since we are moving toward #100, I am looking for a name that would describe a person that has the patience to put up with your mess. I mean, that person would have to tolerate all of your name calling and hatin' ways. And, that's only the tip of the iceberg. I mean, what name fits a person that could chase you around this board as you conveniently lose your memory? Huh... tell me that.

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You could avoid all of this by refraining from trying to impose your views on me, Carey, always stating your opinions as fact and demanding that people submit to your stupid cross-examining. And you'd do well to practice what you preach and get specific about what it is I'm forgetting. Cite examples.

People who start out their responses by saying "I'm going to have to agree with so-and-so and disagree with you", are asking for it. You don't HAVE to do shit. Keep you unsolicited views to yourself and I'll do the same. If I do decide to respond to any of your "assertions", unlike you, I will be fully prepared to take as good as I give.

And actually, I don't always call you names, I just use adjectives to describe you. Of course you think it's perfectly permissible to try and deconstruct my personality in an effort to substantiate the weak points you are laboring to make, but oooooooooh how dare I call YOU a name!! What do you call yourself? Jesus Christ? Puleeze.

You really think you are doing me a favor by exercising "patience". Get real. Like you are my care giver. Here's a good name for you. Ass hole.

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"You don't HAVE to do shit. Keep you unsolicited views to yourself and I'll do the same. If I do decide to respond to any of your "assertions", unlike you, I will be fully prepared to take as good as I give"

OH really! Settle down grandmama. Did you just say that you would keep your unsolicited views to yourself? See, that's a perfect example of you running around the mulberry bush. You say one thing, yet, do the exactly opposite. And, although you SAY you take as good as you get, nothing could be further from the truth.

Besides, is not an open board a place for people to express their unsolicited views? Look, although I am not a doctor, I believe I know the core of your problem. You may profess to be a deep thinker, and are oh so quick to label others as less than, but you really do not like being required to think outside of your comfort zone. You re very good at saying "STFU" or other forms of defensive posturing when you have to support one of your weak arguments, however, your frustrations speaks more to a non-thinker than a deep thinker.

But I understand you. You may be old but you have not reached a point in your life in which you are comfortable saying 4 easy phrases. Without such, you will never be able to use your brain to a point that someone would consider you as a deep thinker. Your emotions will always keep YOU from saying the following:

I Don't know!

I was wrong!

I am sorry!

I love you!

See Cynique, without the emotional stability (maturity), to say those words, a person will never move beyound themselves. And thus, will be left with a belief that they have all the answers, which does not require that person to "think" deep. Actually, they may even know they do not know the whole truth. Nevertheless, they will withdraw to their own frame of reference. To say "I don't know" or "I was wrong", does not leave comfortable feelings. They tend to leave most humans with a sense of being vulnerable, which, as you know, is a very scary place.

YOU, my dear, are the perfect example of the above individual.

Say it loud, like you're old, black and proud! Say.... STFU, Carey, you old slippery snake. cool.gif Or, don't say it, because see, I've already said, I understand YOU.

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOh, Jeeze. What you don't understand, Carey, is that I have no problem saying "I am wrong" or "I don't know" and "I love you" and "I'm sorry" - when the occasion arises. You are just not the one who ever qualifies to have these words spoken to you. What you need to further understand is that half the time you don't know what the hell you're talking about. And speaking of someone having an inflated opinion of himself, you are not as smart as you believe you are or are you an original thinker. You're just an ol jive nigga who's full of himself.

And you have the nerve to try and analyse me when you are a glaring example of a fool who borders on being an ego-centric sociopath. Puleeze. Get outta here with all that BS and all of your other stupid assumptions. I tell you to stfu because arguing with you is a waste of time, and insufferable bores like you do tend to interfere with my comfort. With others here, I always make allowances for them being entitled to their point of view, and I get a kick out of challenging people's long held beliefs. Polly-Annas are apparently what make you feel secure.

BTW did you forget to tell me what it is I didn't remember?? Oh excuse me! You never contradict yourself. What a deluded neanderthal.

Now go back to trying to get it up for whoever it is who's hard up enough to endure being around an obnoxious ol has-been like you. (You look like you have halitosis and crotch odor.) EU

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Is that right?

Lets see, were is my list... oh, #97 a deluded neanderthal, # 98 ol jive nigga.

[Cyn-Cyn]: " I tell you to stfu because arguing with you is a waste of time, and insufferable bores like you do tend to interfere with my comfort"

biggrin.gifIs that right?

Well, now we've reached an agreement because you keep coming back. Comfort aside, you must be learning something.

It looks like my job is complete, and/or another love TKO. Until next time......

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Puleeze. The only thing you're doing right is exposing your frustrations, carey. I wonder how much time it took you to compose that "character study" of me, and why you felt the need to even do so. You are apparently having a hard time accepting the fact that I am not impressed with you, and you are trying to come up with reasons why.

What I've learned is that my lack of regard for you is warranted.

And you spelled "where" wrong.

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In keepng with his new and improved image, Tiger refrained from sulking, and in the post game interview, he stoically resorted to the old

"it is what it is" conundrum when referring to one of the worst losses of his career.

This is getting serious. Wooooooo. What if the golden boy never snaps back from his set back???? Wonder who could play Tiger when a made-for-TV-movie chronocling the rise and fall of a legend comes out in a few years? Hummm. Let's see. Johnny Depp??

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