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The Ghetto Critic's review of Shrek 4, the final chapter.

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Shrek Is A Black Man: The Prince Yaphet Kotto. The grandson of King Alexander Bell, ruler of Cameroon. Come on now, look at that nose and those teeth, that's Shrek!{photo} Okay, need more proof? What, you're not convinced? Follow me.

***See all photos at blog***

See, in the movie, Shrek hung out with two other brown skinned men. Yep, Antonio Banderas.....{photo}

And, Eddie Murphy.{photo}

Of course they had to be a donkey and a cat. You know, a jackass and a kissin' boots. And Eddie was married to a big fat red woman with a bunch of babies. For real, did you see the picture? On top of that, ol'kissin' boots turned against Eddie and Yaphet. Yep, later in the movie, he was all up in the behind of the evil white man. I kid you not... you gotta see the movie.

Oh, Yaphet Kotto is a real prince and he studied acting in New York. Now, did you know (probably not) that his first role was that of Othello? Stay with me now. His first role on Broadway was in the Great White Hope! Bingo baby, white women in the house. And who was Shrek married to... a fat white women. And who is Yaphat married to?

Look, Shrek and his family lived in the ghetto. Sure did, and his wife's parents were rich (I'll get back to that). Anyway, just as with the aftermath of Katrina, when all the white folks drove by the destruction in tour buses, Shrek and his family had to endure the same humiliation. One time he was taking a crap in his out-house (yes out-house) and the thing fell over. Well, the white men on the bus covered the eyes of the giggling white women. In the voice of Forrest Gump... That's all I am going to say about that. Shrek is a black man.

But check this, I knew Shrek was black when his wife's mother and white father were willing to give up their whole kingdom to keep her away from this big black mandingo. See, earlier in the picture, before Shrek married his princess, the parents went to this evil white man to cut a deal. Shrek had been sniffing around their daughter's penthouse and they couldn't have that. So they asked this evil sorcerer for a little help. Now Shrek's nose was wide open. He loved him some pink toe, and thus, he wasn't having it. So he went to work.

**warning time** If you have not seen the movie, you might want to look away. I mean, I don't want to spoil the ending. Okay, here we go.

With the aid of a bunch of white witches (**coughcough** ) the evil little white man managed to uproot Shreks future wife. But Shrek wasn't no punk, so he went out to find his Miss Thang. Well, they say if a woman goes black, she can't go back, well, he found her in the ghetto with a gang of large ugly brothas. This was the part that made me sad. His girl, Feona, didn't love him no mo'. The movie didn't disclose rather or not Jodie got the girl and was gone, but, she no longer had a twinkle in her eye for the black man named Shrek.

This pissed off Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas. Who can forget some of Eddie's relationship woes? So Eddie grew a pair of balls and Antonio (not Hall)took off his fag clothes (yep, the white man had turned him out). He took off his pussin' boot and replaced them with his kickin' ass boots. Then, along with Shrek, they all went down to the hood to join Feona's gang. Although Shrek was still hurting from his woman's cold approach, he was determined to regain her heart.

When they arrived back at the hood, the gang was under attack from the white wizard (who looked like a lizard) and his gang of *itches. The women were actually witches with flying brooms and pointed hats, but they were some nasty thangs. Anyway, the ending made me stand up and cheer. They took the fight to the lizard's castle.

Remember Eddie's big fat red wife, the dragon lady (she was a dragon) she also joined in the war against the white pimp and his witches. When I cocked my 3D glasses at just he right angle, I could hear her saying "He may be black, and he may be a donkey, but that's my Ni**a, so you *itches better move around!". Man, she shot fire all through that joint.

I can't tell you the ending, that wouldn't be right. But you have to go see it. I loved the whole movie and the 3D affect. And I love seeing black people on the screen. Now, don't tell nobody but Shrek is a black man that goes by the name Yaphet Kotto. But if you have to, tell all your friends were you got the good news. Tell them you got it from the Ghetto Critic, CareyCarey. *smile*

See full photos here: http://careycarey-ca...phet-kotto.html

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You are INCREDIBLE - I LOVE IT!! A little over the top and hard to believe - that is what makes it sing - no one like Carey-boo. Peace my brother and thanks for the chuckle/snort.

Soulful Sister

aka - soul sister

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Look out now! My Soulful Sister The Soul Sister... whatsup girl. Long time no see.

Over the top you say? Well, all I can say is thank you! That's what I do. I look over the fence to see what other folks are not saying.

But really, the movie is almost exactly like I mentioned. I mean, I took a few artistic liberties but I didn't change the plot nor the action. But if Yaphet Kotto doesn't look like Shrek, I'll kiss (you know) and I don't know you that well *lol*

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My brother Carey - much love as always. If it were another time and place -- ;) -- things could have been different between us - Cuz, I LOVE your mind and wit - and errybody can know this. I have not seen the movie yet - I am not a huge fan of movies - I love theater - and will probably catch Shrek IV on DVD - apparently it is the only good thing out in the cinema - Sex in the City flopped and Prince of ? was a disappointment so the reviewers say.

Its all good - and whatever you are smoking - keep it lit up - clear vision and opinion is so hard to find.

Peace

Soulful Sister

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smile.gif"clear vision and opinion is so hard to find"

I believe that's one of my biggest pet peeves. I mean, without a clear vision, most opinions are nothing more than popular opinion. I've come to believe that most people have an entenched fear of not being liked/loved, so they adopt a view that's so ambiguous that it includes everything and garners the smiles of everyone.

"If it were another time and place"

Please, don't get me started. I wish I had nine lives. You mentioned theater, I love the theater! I saw a few in New York. I'd pick you up and we'd do the town. I believe Denzel is doing "Fences". That would be our first stop.

Yes, nine lives would be great. Heck, I think I've already lived 7.

I've had the oppurtunity to be around the almost very rich, the very poor and the not so poor. I've been up and I've been locked up. I am a black man that has lived in a white state. I've sat @ bars in Hong Kong and Thailand and a few gut bucket hole-in-the-walls. I've drank the best Cognac and I've tipped a few jelly jaws filled with stump-hole (moonshine, that will stomp a hole in your a$$).

I've worn an afro and bell bottom pants and elephant pants. A Jeri curl was my claim to fame. I've worn patent leather shoes with gold tips that forced me to walk with a cool dip.

I've twisted a few joints and kissed the poppy and the cocoa leaf too.

I've kissed a few gorgeous women and a couple of pigs.

I've seen men get shot, and death in my house.

I've coached track and little league. One young man went on to get an Olympic Gold Medal.

I am a GRANDFATHER!

What About A Time Called Now!?

In a few weeks, I am going to the Essence Festival in New Orleans.

So my long time Soul Sister, it's never to late, but we don't have much time... call me biggrin.gif

I am off to grind my own coffee. Starbucks ain't got nothin' on this house.

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LMAO. Forgive me Lord. I tried so hard to not insert myself into the preceding little love fest, but I feel it's my duty to keep shit going on the board lest it die from from a malingering boredom. I know this was an "A" and "B" conversation so I should "C" my way out of it, but since it's about clear vision I will see my way into it.

First, I guess we have to figure out that "entenched" was meant to be "entrenched". It is not clear to me how a person can speak on the subject of clear vision when, after a life time of reading, still can't recognize when words are spelled wrong. Such a shortcoming is all about not being detailed-oriented, a very helpful trait when pursuing clear vision. This gaffe also goes along with using big words you hear others use but getting them slightly wrong. I think "malapropism" is the term I'm searching for.

And I'm surprised to read how our great philosopher bemoans those wishy-washy souls who want to be everything to everybody for fear of not being liked, when this is the same person who takes others to task if they show no inclination toward slavishly pleasing others by agreeing with them or deferring to their asssertions.

And how can anybody speak with authority on the subject of clear vision while seemingly unaware that, in a debate, there are 2 sides to every question. Having a clouded perception is what describes someone who regularly slams those who don't concede to an opponent when arguing MOOT contentions.

To me, clear vision involves, among other things, having hindsight, something which facilites having an overview, all of which comes with age. And one thing age teaches is that, except in math, there are no absolutes. History is always challenged by revisionists, and the research of social sciences devalued by flawed methodology. Even some of the Einstein's calculations have recently been discovered to have been predicated on the wrong postulations. And every year studies come up with a new theory displacing the old one about what causes things like breast cancer. "Facts" are relative. Anecdotal evidence is based on "facts". Bottom line, taking oneself too seriously is a stumbling block on the road to seeing straight ahead. IMO.

Anyhoo, speaking of the theater, I just returned from a matinee showing of the "Good Negro" which is having a limited run at Chicago's Goodman Theater before opening on Broadway, and what a riveting play this was! A fictionalized version of the symbiotic relationship between Martin Luther King, Jr. and his alter-ego Ralph David Abernathy, this was a well-scripted, smartly-directed drama. The acting was excellent, and the staging imaginative in its starkness. I loved it!! The appreciative audience was mostly white but what a revival meeting this production would've been had black folks been filling the seats!

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WOW!

But have you seen Shrek?

Also, who were the actors in that play and who wrote it? I am going to Chicago next week, I think I might like to catch that. What is the cost and times?

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Google "The Good Negro at the Goodman Theatre" for dates and times and tickets.

No, I haven't seen the latest Shrek. Can the argument be made that Black men are ogres, not the other way around?

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"Can the argument be made that Black men are ogres, not the other way around?"

Oh boy, that's a little too deep for me. Besides, "To me, clear vision involves, among other things, having hindsight, something which facilites having an overview, all of which comes with age. And one thing age teaches is that, except in math, there are no absolutes. History is always challenged by revisionists, and the research of social sciences devalued by flawed methodology. Even some of the Einstein's calculations have recently been discovered to have been predicated on the wrong postulations. And every year studies come up with a new theory displacing the old one about what causes things like breast cancer. "Facts" are relative. Anecdotal evidence is based on "facts". Bottom line, taking oneself too seriously is a stumbling block on the road to seeing straight ahead. IMO"

*Wink* and a smile biggrin.gif

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Hey, y'all! *waves enthusiastically*

Hope you had a great Memorial Day, Carey, Cynique, and Chris. I saved y'all a plate of my ribs: cooked 9 hours overnight in a 190-degree oven then finished off on the grill by my husband, and topped off with some Famous Dave's Devil's Spit sauce. They're slap-your-mama, fall-off-the-bone, finger-lickin good! LOL

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OH NO! Not Famous Dave's Devil's Spit sauce! AND cooked 9 hours overnight in a 190-degree oven? Gurl, you sho know whatchu talkin' bout.

And, after all that slavin', you let Dr. Man put his feet in it. Now see, that's real love smile.gif. I mean, obviously he's done that before.

So, lets see, my plate is wrapped, right? The dog been fed, right? Black folks can come in your neighborhood, right (read your blog *smile)? You live somewhere in the Mid West, right? Okay, hold on cuz I'm comin'. And don't let Chris Hayden get near my plate. You know he loves some pig. But wait, were they beef ribs?

Hey, you didn't say... no baked beans or cole slaw? I'm not even gonna ask about potatoe salad. I know you don't know nothing about that tongue.gif

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