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How Do We Start The Process of becoming Problem Solvers?


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First of all, we stop thinking of Life as a movie where things follow a plot  that ends with the problem being resolved. Random luck plays a part in the course of events. Concrete plans become fluid because of extenuating circumstances which involve solutions to problems giving rise to more problems. Justice is very elusive and Equality is a myth. 

 Observe the pure primitive society of the animal world, where the law of the jungle prevails and is unwavering. Only the strong survive and sometimes strength involves the ingenuity of symbiosis.  For humans, the perfect world will never exist because Life is not fair.  IMO 

Admittedly, I am an Existentialist. and since nobody else has responded, that is my input.   Maybe an optimistic visionary  will enlighten us as to how to succeed where others have failed.  Praying folks can also chime in.

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@Dr. Jazzy, system is screwed.  There is very little we can do, within this current system, to provide justice for all people.  It was not designed to do that.  Ultimately this system will crash and burn, hopefully what emerges, as a result, will be better that what we have now. That is the mostly likely outcome IMHO.

Alternatively, there is a shot at effecting positive change in the current system, but we would have to eliminate all of the corporate monopolies that control our media and effectively our government.  But as wealth disparity increases this seems very unlikely.

The Hares had/have a think tank http://aalbc.com/authors/nathan-julia-hare.html

What you you think?

 

 

Cynique I would agree with you if you replace "evil" with "strong."

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LOL

7 hours ago, Troy said:

Cynique I would agree with you if you replace "evil" with "strong."

LOL  are you talking about me saying "only the strong survive"? And did you mean to say replace "strong" with "evil" instead of "evil" with "strong"?

Come on, not everybody who survives is evil. And just because people are weak, doesn't mean they aren't evil.   

 

7 hours ago, Troy said:

the system is screwed.  There is very little we can do, within this current system, to provide justice for all people.  It was not designed to do that.  Ultimately this system will crash and burn, hopefully what emerges, as a result, will be better that what we have now. That is the mostly likely outcome IMHO.

Will a Bernie victory be a precursor to that scenario?  I think the nation will be ripe for upheaval after the upcoming elections but in an article i recently read, the author said that this national unrest is much ado about nothing  and that when  the smoke clears, everybody will just get on with their lives. Maybe we are in a panic mode because of the MEDIA whipping the population into a frenzy :o    

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Yes Cynique people willing to exploit others do quite well in this country, often better than people who would treat others more fairly. The election of Obama was a strong indicator that the country wanted a change.  The rise of Trump and the popularity of Bernie is more of the same.

Sure progress has been made but you can't ignore the fact that many of those gains have been reversed.  "...the poorest [sic] people of color are doing better than most."  You are the "most"? Who are you comparing poor people of color to Del; poor white people, poor people in other countries, poor people of the past??

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The Hare's have written many books on many topics about the Black problem, but there is still the question of how is the process of becoming problem solvers  to begin, if we cannot come up with a solution to treating all people fair, especially all of the people who need the help the most. Can these dry bones live?

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Do you have a solution, Doctor Jazzy? The monumental scope of this problem is mind-boggling. It should be obvious that, if after all this time, the problem hasn't been eliminated, then elimination is not a part of the solution it's  part of a self-perpetuating  problem.  

If we look closely at the Big Picture, we will notice that the world is in a state of flux; variables abound, and human beings vacillate.  One thing that is constant is a desire to thrive, Another persistent factor is a vulnerability to corruption. Just because people are deprived, doesn't make them immune to sin.  The "have-nots" want to become "haves" so they, too, can wield power and indulge their greed and manipulate justice. If the "have-nots" become the "haves". there's no guarantee that the situation will improve. Whomever is in control is who reaps the benefits of power and the wherewithal to oppress.  The way of the world...  

I've come to the conclusion that since their organizations and demonstrations and charismatic leaders are just going in circles, Blacks just have to concentrate on their personal sphere of existence, try not to burden themselves with a lot of baggage, and use whatever resources are available for them to get ahead.  Millions of them have done this. The newly-elected  Democratic candidate for Chicago's Cook County States Attorney is a young black woman who grew up in Chicago's notorious Cabrini-Green projects, the child of a single mother drug addict.  

I know what I am saying is just hot air to you, Doctor Jazzy.  So cool me off with some answers, instead of questions. ;) 

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Jaz

Well first of all, if you're an AfroAmerican........

Stop worring about ALL people.
Because ALL people ain't worried about YOU.

Various groups both inside and outside of America are concerned about thier own plights and the future of their own progeny.  Our problems as AfroAmericans are unique and trying to beg everyone to join in with us to help solve some "universal" problem of injustice will just add to the confusion that already exists. 

AfroAmericans need to work on getting more economic and political POWER and the justice will come.

The quicker we learn and accept this, the less time will be wasted.
 

You can sit around "brain storming" solutions all day long, but at the end of the day if you don't have the POWER to enforce any of those solutions and make them work....what good is it?

All that arm-chair philosiphying is worth little more than hyper-active day dreaming unless you have POWER.

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These are the questions we get all of the time. Everyone discusses the topic, but when I look at it I always come back to the same solution: reestablishing responsibility. The only thing a person really has control over is their own circle. If I start a business and it inspires my mother-in-law to start a business and then my sister-in-law starts a business I've created change in my circle and this has radiated out and it may create more change. 

It's like when people ask teachers how can the school system be fixed? My response is better parenting.  If a parent isn't capable of being stronger and better, then what will happen? The quick answer is you get a few kids like the Cook County sister who grew up in Cabrini who make it through. What typically happens though is the kids just don't have a real chance when the parenting is not very good. It doesn't take money to be an attentive parent or to do better parenting either. It takes a real understanding that a kid needs to be heard. Is it easier to be an effective parent when you aren't worrying about eating? Of course, but at the same time the Black family has to re-learn cohabitation.

My family was poor just like most kids in my neighborhood. The difference was everyone lived in the apartment and everyone shared parenting duties. So Big Momma, Auntie, and Big Sister all supported Momma when she couldn't be there. The whole house all participated in the child rearing and there wasn't a father around. The only type of guy that was around tended to be the preacher and the reason he was effective is because he worked and held a job as well as ran the church, but today the preachers don't work so the church is not as vital and now, people don't live with each other so kids are really alone when the parents aren't there. There isn't a system of support. You can't trust the next door neighbor and the lack of community and family fails the parenting system.

I guess I'm rambling, but 40 years ago, even the poorest kid in our neighborhood, knew they were going to get one good meal from the church each week and that if things were really tough they could go next door or across the street and eat a little. There weren't any dads around, but there was a community. The community center had free one lunches in the summer and in the fall, people pooled their money together to help out. 

You ask how can we fix things? I say it happens from the inside out. As we fix our families, the communities get better and the people get stronger. It's a lot easier said than done.

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Cynique that's à tight piece of writing. The difference between the greedy power obsessed and your average person is opportunity. So what you are talking about is more power for the group, that you are a member, and by extension your crew. Which is generally the way. The rebels get corrupted.

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On 4/1/2016 at 0:52 PM, Dr. Jazzy said:

How do we begin the process of seeking justice for all people, focusing on the people at the bottom first?

What think tanks are focusing on solving this world problem, mistreating people, especially people with

color in their skin?

The problem that is confusing the people of the world is mistreating people, especially people with

color in their skin? How can we start the process of solving this problem?

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Brother Burns
 

You ask how can we fix things? I say it happens from the inside out. As we fix our families, the communities get better and the people get stronger. It's a lot easier said than done.

I agree with you in theory that fixing the families is a start in the sense that a more stable home produces more stable children.

However, the West prides itself on individualism and sexual freedom. Which inevitably leads to a substantial amount of out of wedlock births and high divorce rate.
Broken families pretty much comes with the territory of a free and open society.
So unless we make it some sort of LAW that people must marry before having sex, or atleast before having children and then make another LAW forcing the parents to stay together to raise those children.....perhaps we may have to look at changing the very SOCIAL INFRASTRUCTURE this society was based on to begin with.

Perhaps it's time to REPLACE the "nuclear family" as ideal or standard, and find a new family structure that is more befitting of our current social reality.....no?

 

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When I say nuclear it isn't in the traditional sense at all. I'm talking doing what Latinos and Asians do, live in the same home with extended family. People think it's some secret that Asian families build wealth quicker. My experience in Cali and with my next door neighbor here in Memphis is Asians will buy a four bedroom, two bathroom house by pooling resources. 3-4 families live in that one house and they all pay rent. With four families paying the mortgage and sometimes doubling up on the mortgage (in Memphis my mortgage is barely 1000 for a three bedroom two bath on a quarter acre for a 2500 sq/foot house) and the house is paid off in 5-10 years. They then invite family to purchase another house. Are all of them doing this? No, but what they (latinos and Asians) have done is say they aren't worried about what the government or the higher ups can do for them, they are doing for themselves.

My own family is actually looking at doing this here. There is a 500,000 dollar house 6 bedrooms, guest house and all of that. Split level. I'm looking at renting out my current home, and my mother in law, sister in laws and my family are looking into purchasing that house because right now combined our mortgages/rents total right under 4000 per month. We could get this home for right at 3000 and pocket 1000 as a family.

When I say nuclear I'm talking the extended family of coaches, teachers, neighbors that has pretty much deteriorated. What I'm really getting at though is how family members, even poor ones live in six different residents because they can't get or along or have too much drama, etc. When even if that family only made 1000 per month they could share expenses with another family. Right now I'm shooting from the hip and just typing,but I think you get what I'm saying. Our people are so fractured that I don't think we even consider taking three single parents and sharing a house because inevitably we think something would go wrong. On my street in all black and all white Memphis I'm seeing more Latino and Asian families buying property. There are 4 cars in the driveway and slowly those four cars become two cars and another home is purchased. Meanwhile we are sitting around waiting on Obama and the government to kick in and give us reparations and make things equal. 

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17 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

perhaps it's time to REPLACE the "nuclear family" as ideal or standard, and find a new family structure that is more befitting of our current social reality.

No need to replace the "nuclear family" as an ideal or standard.  Simply make room for other structures.  One structure doesn't fit all. I'm not interested in marriage and sorry I did it in the first place. I'm better suited as a single. But I digress.  I was my daughters' custodial parent - and I co-parented with my daughters' dad. I didn't need to live in a home where a marriage wasn't conducive to everyone's well-being. Today, I have a peace of mind;  my daughters are happy, healthy and successful adults.  I'm still not a grandmother, but oh well. My daughters were more concerned about letters behind their name than in front of it.  I say this to say - non traditional  families are not the source of the downfall in society nor are non-traditional families the downfall of black people in America...

According to the U.S. Census  there are still more white people/families living below the poverty level in America than black people. (Not sure, however, if money will make a difference in this scenario) And single black women on average make more money today than they did as 1/2 of a nuclear family. By the way there are more single people today of any race than there are married couples, so there's that.

Here's what I believe is plaguing society... Lust. Not sexual lust but lust in the real sense of the word.  Most of society wants to satisfy an unmet emotional need. Many of us only want to feel pleasure. No rejection, no longing, no hurt.  No one wants to experience any emotion other than "good".  Even me, as I mentioned.  Why should I experience the aggravation of marriage when I don't have to... I found more pleasure in backbreaking labor pains, child birth, including a caesarean section and raising my daughters to adults than having to live with and struggle with someone who was raised differently.  

Therefore, in an effort to become problem solvers, collectively, we need to grow a vagina. I was going to write "grow a pair" but then I realized testicles are too delicate - only vaginas can take a licking and keep on ticking. ;) Seriously, though it takes grit, fortitude and confidence to solve our own personal problems.  Then and only then can we  become problem solvers to change the world. And right now we are in short supply of people who are emotionally ready and available to do it. 

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LOL.  Please keep sharing your thoughts with us, Mel.  You're such a refreshing addition to the roster.  What you say is so true. 

I've watched the first two episodes of Dancing with the Stars  and I found it really interesting to observe how the celebrity contestants react to the critiques of their performance by the 3 judges.  You could see it in the anxious faces of both the males and the females, the effect praise and rejection for their performances had on them. Here they all are, "rich and famous"  yet insecure and fragile.  It's like they all needed love and approval sooo bad. Another show I watch is Family Feud, because it is so spontaneous and offers such insight into how people's minds work when they have to think on their feet.  I have never heard such stupid crazy answers in my life.  And Steve Harvey's reaction is so priceless.  As dufus as he is, even he is non-plussed. Sometimes the ones who give the most logical answers are those who you least expect to, while the "smart ones" flop.    

I also agree with you that marriage is not for everyone and the family does need to be re-defined since the hunters and gatherers' dynamic no longer applies.  IMO, there's so much child worship  in the current generation of parents and there was a lot of living through their children in the preceding generations. I don't think  it's healthy for a mother or her child  when the child becomes the center of its mother's universe, or becomes an accessory.

Write on!

  

 

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CD

When I was younger I used to wonder why Black people couldn't live together and pool their resources together like the Mexicans or Asians, now I know why.

Blacks from Africa can do it because they're used to it....but those of us born and raised in Western society are to individualistic and need too much "space" to live like that and raise our children in that environment.  Most Whites couldn't live like that either, which is why they invented trailer parks...lol.

Now many of our people DID do it temporarily when they came up from down South.
My mother and her sisters and brothers would each come up from Mississippi and stay in an established brother's spare bedroom or basement or whereever and when they got a job (which was plentiful at that time)  they'd pay some rent and eventually move out to buy their own home.
But the society and economy was different back then.  There was more of a family spirit.

Like I said, even White people born and raised in America or Europe can't live together in groups like Asians and Mexicans do because they aren't used to those type of impoverished social conditions where people are sleeping on top of eachother, using the toilets right behind eachother, and even wearing the same underwear...lol.

We have to gradually get to the point of communal living.
But I do think living in groups WILL be the family of the future.
Sort of like the extended family but only you get to CHOOSE your extentions rather than being born with them.

BTW, at this point of Black economic development....monetary reparations would probably help more Asian and Arab proprietors in the ghetto than the people they were intended to help.


 

 


Mel

If you notice, I didn't say replace the nuclear family period but replace it as the STANDARD or IDEAL.
I envision a time when just about ALL family types (except those of the pedophilic type) will be permitted in society whether it's extended, nuclear, man with man, woman with woman, man with several women, woman with several men.....or people just by themselves.

However the law of social averages DEMANDS that one type predominates.
As I mentioned to CD, I believe the NEW prevailing family of the future America will be the GROUP FAMILY where you have several men and several women together living under an arrangement and taking care of the children and eachother.

 

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6 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

However the law of social averages DEMANDS that one type predominates.
As I mentioned to CD, I believe the NEW prevailing family of the future America will be the GROUP FAMILY where you have several men and several women together living under an arrangement and taking care of the children and eachother.

This is not an entirely new concept.  Back in the '60s, the hippie lifestyle included groups of men and women who all lived together under one roof.  These were known as "communes".  Of course this was also the era of free love so sex was random and who fathered the resulting children was determined after they were born.

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Cynique

As old and as diverse as humanity is, it's hard to believe there is ANY type of familial or living arrangement that is new under the sun.

The problem...again..is Western Civilization.
Despite it's  modernclaims of religious and social freedom, it is still very limiting....constricting...so they tended to stamp out a lot of alternative lifestyles and systems that benefitted those who may not  fit into the neat little "Adam and Eve" concept of family life.

I've long seen how the typical "nuclear family" as promoted by Western Society was for the most part unattainable for MOST Black and Brown families. It costs massive amounts of money for one person to make enough to support an entire family and provide a home for them. This has been next to impossible for people in most societies around the world....which is why the extended family is the norm.
But let the average wealthy White American tell it, "other people" are weird because they don't have the wealth and free time maintain a stable family with a picket fence and dog.

The old ideas of what a "family" should be will most certainly be replaced.
I predict the biggest obstacle in the implimentation of alternative family structures won't be moral or religious...I think the biggest obstacle will the the physical infrastructure itself. Most homes in the United States are designed for the nuclear family.

Right now we're brainstorming ideas on how to redesign living units for new housing in Flint that will reflect a more extended family culture offering more bedrooms and a larger "living space" within each house or apartment unit.

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Well, Pioneer, where the black underclass is concerned, black families have long been matriarchies, and an argument can be made that this has contributed to the dysfunction of many young black boys.  But, a lot does depend on the individual and "the same fire that melts wax, makes steel hard."  Many black  men raised without a father figure go on to do well, because they're mothers were good at parenting and these males were innately strong. 

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I've come to realize that many of my beliefs about what and who constitutes a "real man" were formed by philosphies and ethics shaped during a time where strong aggressive men were absolutely NEEDED by society to protect the family from outside intrusion as well as to be called upon by the community to protect it or the nation from outside aggressors (war).

In that settting, ofcourse a strong aggressive very mascuine man would be a necessary component to show young boys how to be the ideal man (ideal for war and fighting).

But in a more refined society such as this where you have a superpower military to protect you from outside enemies and a police force to call on to protect you and your family....both of which now have a large percentage of women.......the role of the aggressive macho man seems to be increasingly dispensible.
Infact, having a  violent father who teaches his sons how to be violent may actually be COUNTERPRODCUCTIVE to properly raising successful young men....as the current laws of the land tend to condemn and punish excessive violence rather than reward it as a virtue as in the past.

Perhaps what is really need to help raise a child is the passive/aggressive benefits offered by one parent who is feminine and the other who is masculine....regardless as to the actual SEX of the parents who assume these roles.
Meaning, maybe two women could raise a decent productive boy into manhood just as effectively as a man and woman....provided ONE of those women were feminine and caring and the OTHER woman was more masculine an disciplinary.

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It appears that all comments and statements are addressing the symptoms of White Supremacy/Racism.  

We see the symptoms, with the pictures submitted by one of your veteran members.  The question again

is how do we begin the process of becoming problem solvers.  Our ancestors were problem solvers and

then came white supremacy/racism......   

2015-AfricanAncestor4s.jpg

2015-AfricanAncestor2s.jpg

2015-AfricanAncestor1s.jpg

2015-AfricanAncestor10s.jpg

2016-africa2.jpg

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Cynthia ....the sharing of mates will not work in a system of white supremacy/racism, it is against the law.

Our ancestors were able to share mates and it was with in our culture.

CD....what do we have....we do not own anything...BET..gone, EBONY/JET...gone, Essence....gone...

Black banks....gone we are pawns on a white supremacy/racism chessboard, how do we begin the problem

solving process to overcome....

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Dr. Jazzy, 
I think you are looking at ownership on a grand scale in regard to media and mulitmillion dollar businesses. Blacks do not own as much as Whites of course, everyone knows this, but the things we do own, we don't really dive in to support. You keep asking what can we do to overcome? We have had this same discussion on several sections of this message board and I state the same thing over and over. Simply support what is there and watch what happens. If you want Black media do as you are doing right now and share articles and reports from AALBC. Join ARRAY. Take your time and look up Bean Soup Times the website run out of Chicago by a member of the Nation. Take your time and visit as many Black Owned businesses in your city and write about them and tell everyone you know about them. In Memphis we have Tri State Bank which is black owned. We also have a Tri State Defender a Black owned newspaper. I will be the first to admit, I attempted to open a bank account at TSB and bank with them through my business, but although I made a nice amount of dough, they wouldn't give me what I needed to function. That doesn't mean that I don't tell others to go there. I do. I visit the TSD website daily to give them impressions and clicks to support their site with ad revenue. It's the least I can do. I share the stories written and just today responded to an article posted by Troy with an article from the TSD.

Like every thread I'm on I can only talk about what I do and while I'm only one person I know I affect things. If you are affecting things then you are changing things.

I don't think of myself as a pawn and I think it's unfortunate that you do. Consider yourself a rook with the ability to move forward and backward, side to side, and then you can look at each block and take small steps to make things happen. As a rook you can slide one block or 7. The more spaces you move the more you touch. You want to know what the solution is? Every individual needs to learn as much as possible, share as much as possible and support each other and we can overcome. People have to start paying more attention to those things they can control before trying to save the world.

I've been told my way of thinking is too simplistic, but it's my way of making things happen. Each person has to find their path. I hope you find your way to the answer. You also asked what do we have? Much more than we realize brother.

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Dr J

Cynthia ....the sharing of mates will not work in a system of white supremacy/racism, it is against the law.
Our ancestors were able to share mates and it was with in our culture.

I'm afraid Cynthia is no longer with us.

I suggest you "redirect" all questions you have for her to others qualified to answer them.

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Its about deciding. Do you want a solution or followers. There are as many solutions as there are people. Decide and do or sit and watch. It can be the 100th monkey or crabs in a barrel. Just no that if you want to travel this road most aren't interested.  

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Del

Just no that if you want to travel this road most aren't interested.


Maaaaan, I don't think most people know how REAL this statement is.

I'm truly astounded at how few people tend to be interested in TRULY changing their society and solving their own problems.
They would rather conform to the problem.

God has blessed me to have never had a drug problem.

I didn't understand why people liked getting high and going out of their minds so much.
Then I found out that it's a form of escapism for people who can't stand the reality they're living in.
I was suprised at how many people became drug addicts because of this.
Others are suicidal and see THAT as a way out.

It's weird how so may people would rather kill themselves or turn to drugs and alcohol rather than just atleast TRY to change things.

I don't know if it's because of fear, indifference, confusion, or a mixture of all 3.

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We continue to talk about the symptoms  because we are continuously mistreated by ourselves

and others... becasue of  white supremacy/racism however we continue to wear the mask. 

When we remove the mask what is left....the problem or the answer?

2015-michael-jackson-mask.jpg

18 hours ago, Del said:

Its about deciding. Do you want a solution or followers. There are as many solutions as there are people. Decide and do or sit and watch. It can be the 100th monkey or crabs in a barrel. Just no that if you want to travel this road most aren't interested.  

let's travel this road most are interested....we want change....

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There has been a lot of press lately on the rise in suicides over that past 20 years.  I believe the largest increase is among middle aged white men.  During the same period the icde rates for Black men has actually gone down.

Some feel that the increase in white suicide is a reaction to the loss of white privilege.  While this is devastating to white folks reality, this is par for the course for Black folks--arguably an improvement.

When white folks say "lets take our country back," what they really mean is lets restore white privilege.

Again, racism is a tool of capitalists.  We can eradicate racism tomorrow (and we should try), but lets not be naive and believe that oppression will end there.

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20 hours ago, Dr. Jazzy said:

We continue to talk about the symptoms  because we are continuously mistreated by ourselves

and others... becasue of  white supremacy/racism however we continue to wear the mask. 

When we remove the mask what is left....the problem or the answer?

2015-michael-jackson-mask.jpg

let's travel this road most are interested....we want change....

More people are more interested in the Nina Simone movie than solving problems or politics or all of the other posts. Although there are a few people that are interested in this topic. It is not the majority.

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What will happen is what has always happened nothing much. I haven't lived in the US for over 10 years. In that time more people have said they are thinking about leaving the US.

Thinking is rare and critical thinking is almost extinct. Critical thinking is not the same as  criticism although critiquing comes close.

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My interested are getting more narrow. There was a time when I used to enjoy being challenging assumptions and by extension beliefs and thinking . That time has expired.

My interested are getting more narrow. There was a time when I used to enjoy being challenging assumptions and by extension beliefs and thinking . That time has expired.

On 23/04/2016 at 11:18 PM, Pioneer1 said:

Del

Just no that if you want to travel this road most aren't interested.


Maaaaan, I don't think most people know how REAL this statement is.

I'm truly astounded at how few people tend to be interested in TRULY changing their society and solving their own problems.
They would rather conform to the problem.

God has blessed me to have never had a drug problem.

I didn't understand why people liked getting high and going out of their minds so much.
Then I found out that it's a form of escapism for people who can't stand the reality they're living in.
I was suprised at how many people became drug addicts because of this.
Others are suicidal and see THAT as a way out.

It's weird how so may people would rather kill themselves or turn to drugs and alcohol rather than just atleast TRY to change things.

I don't know if it's because of fear, indifference, confusion, or a mixture of all 3.

Yes I do realize it. Which is why I say very little. Put very simply we are Nero as the one man band. 

Later

My interested are getting more narrow. There was a time when I used to enjoy being challenging assumptions and by extension beliefs and thinking . That time has expired.

On 23/04/2016 at 11:18 PM, Pioneer1 said:

Del

Just no that if you want to travel this road most aren't interested.


Maaaaan, I don't think most people know how REAL this statement is.

I'm truly astounded at how few people tend to be interested in TRULY changing their society and solving their own problems.
They would rather conform to the problem.

God has blessed me to have never had a drug problem.

I didn't understand why people liked getting high and going out of their minds so much.
Then I found out that it's a form of escapism for people who can't stand the reality they're living in.
I was suprised at how many people became drug addicts because of this.
Others are suicidal and see THAT as a way out.

It's weird how so may people would rather kill themselves or turn to drugs and alcohol rather than just atleast TRY to change things.

I don't know if it's because of fear, indifference, confusion, or a mixture of all 3.

Yes I do realize it. Which is why I say very little. Put very simply we are Nero as the one man band. 

Later

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On 4/9/2016 at 8:32 PM, Cynique said:

MO, there's so much child worship  in the current generation of parents and there was a lot of living through their children in the preceding generations. I don't think  it's healthy for a mother or her child  when the child becomes the center of its mother's universe, or becomes an accessory.

Write on!

"Child worship"  thank you so  much for this phrase @Cynique !  This is a topic within itself. Not sure when this practice started but I've fallen victim to it. I remember my girls, telling me, "if you love 'Harvard' so much, you should apply and go."  That was when I realized I was about to begin the practice of what's you have labeled "Child worship."  Looking back now, I can see why I fell victim.  My child worship moment happened when the girls were applying to college.   I didn't go to the school I wanted to go to because my mother objected. She didn't want me to go away to school. It is only now, I see I was about to repeat the practice but luckily I had raised them to think for themselves.    "Generational curses"  come to mind.  I think @CDBurns alluded to this but solving problems may begin in the home too.  Still I believe this all goes back to solving our personal problems first.

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On 4/10/2016 at 6:12 PM, Pioneer1 said:

the law of social averages DEMANDS that one type predominates.
As I mentioned to CD, I believe the NEW prevailing family of the future America will be the GROUP FAMILY where you have several men and several women together living under an arrangement and taking care of the children and eachother.

I'm not trying to be contrary but anything "socially designed or demanded is constructed and thereby unnatural. 
But yes, what you're suggesting indicates natural law and environment demand how our families are structured.  Which also may be the key to healing our pathology.

For example, procreation is one of the eight biological life functions but marriage and/or child-rearing is a social construct.  The human species tend to care for its young but not necessarily in a two-parent model but a community. 

I would have to dig up my notes but I read there are some uncontacted tribes- who still follow the hunter-gatherer model such as Cynique mentioned.  Some have existed for 60,000 years untouched by the West.  The hunter-gatherers as we've come to know through their artifacts existed as a community. 

According to some researchers, hunting-gathering depended on the environment, not necessarily the sex, but it was wholly communal.  Along with men, women fished and participated in wild-game hunting when they could.(See: Alphabet vs Goddess by Leonard Shlain, MD)  The environment also played a huge part in why some of us left Africa and moved out to other parts of the world but again, they left as a group.

 In fact, here in the present, Malcolm Gladwell, in his book “Outliers" talked about how a strong community and environment assisted new immigrants to maintain health and vitality even when money was low.   Once they left their community, however, they first suffered poor health then they died. 

The family structure that would “win” out, if it was necessary for family to have a main structure, would be “community”.  Living in close-knit communities is the one structure that allowed us to grow a “healthy” civilization for the last 3 millennia.  We've been moving away from that structure and we're suffering.

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Dr J

let's travel this road most are interested....we want change....

Most people want CHANGE, but most people don't want to do the work in coming up with and implimenting the solutions.

This demands lot of careful thinking, disposable time, and patience as well as courage....a combination most people don't come equipped with.

 

 

 


Troy

There has been a lot of press lately on the rise in suicides over that past 20 years. I believe the largest increase is among middle aged white men. During the same period the icde rates for Black men has actually gone down.

Some feel that the increase in white suicide is a reaction to the loss of white privilege. While this is devastating to white folks reality, this is par for the course for Black folks--arguably an improvement.

I came across those articles a few days ago.
I'm not sure how Black men compare with other demographics but I DO believe that a lot more Black men are suicidal than the numbers probably lead us to believe.
I believe a lot of these police shootings are actually "suicide by cop" from hopless brothers purposefully putting themselves in fatal situations with the law.




Del I'm going to seriously consider to begin to looking outside the US

I echo Sara's sentiments.....don't go bro.
We need more brothers like you to stay here and as Lauryn Hill would say help "reverse the hypnosis"

Besides, CD Burns doesn't have his passport so  if something goes down, somebody has to stay here with our brother......lol.






Mel

The family structure that would "win" out, if it was necessary for family to have a main structure, would be "community". Living in close-knit communities is the one structure that allowed us to grow a "healthy" civilization for the last 3 millennia. We've been moving away from that structure and we're suffering.

That's exactly what I'm talking about....mini-communities in the form of group families.

Say a group of about 4 men and 5 women get together and form a unit, an actual "entity" in and of itself made up of individual members but not reliant on any one of them. They have children in that group and that group helps to raise the children. As the children grow up some members leave that group, others join.
But this acts as a more stable environment because it pretty much secures a feminine and masculine presence, financial support, a home, and other necessities for the well being of children. Atleast more so than the nuclear or single parent family structure would. 
Plus it works better for the adults involved by not putting too much pressure on one individual to be the primary bread-winner, disciplinarian, or homemaker.

 

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