The Sun came out Last Night

[Guest Dee Miller]

 I self published a poetry book titled, The Sun Came out Last Night... Rated D, and am having very little success getting an audience. I'd like to solicit both feedback about  my writing and your suggestions on necessary steps in which to promote. Here's an example of one of my poems. Timing is everything when 'No' means 'Yes'. No means yes when he places his lips on the left side of her neck, just below her ear...gently places his hands on the small of her back...and presses her body against his so close that she can hear his every breath...and she tingles from the full body workout.  Timing is everything when 'No' means'Yes'. No means yes when shemoans in delight as his tongue gently surveys the inside of her mouth in search of her 'spot' and she submits to the pleasure. Timing is everything when 'No' means 'Yes'. No means yes when he places her body on top of his, and SHE takes control...placing his hands over his head, looks into his eyes and say...'It's time'. 

Thank you in advance for your feedback and support.

[Troy]

Hi Dee,

Thanks for contributing your poetry.  I'm far from a poet critic but here are my comments. How the poem appears of the page matters I've guessed at how the poem should look and have pasted it below. 

The poem is quite literal, but for me it makes me think about the whole issue of "no" means "No" as it related to rape.  

You defy the political correctness of the cast-in-stone, "No means no" with the more realistic and nuanced; No can mean really mean yes depending on the timing . 

What sentiment did you intend to convey?

Timing is everything when 'No' means 'Yes'
No means yes when he places his lips on the left side of her neck, just below her ear
gently places his hands on the small of her back
and presses her body against his so close that she can hear his every breath
and she tingles from the full body workout.

Timing is everything when 'No' means 'Yes'
No means yes when she moans in delight as his tongue gently surveys the inside of her mouth
in search of her 'spot' and she submits to the pleasure.

Timing is everything when 'No' means 'Yes'.
No means yes when he places her body on top of his, and SHE takes control
placing his hands over his head, looks into his eyes and say

'It's time'. 

[Guest Dee Miller - The Sun]

Thank you for your very candid response - much appreciated. As this book of poetry consists of poems of Love, being in love and Experiencing the emotional highs and lows associated with love in the form of poetry sessions, the intent of this poem is to allow one to romanticize and reflect. Other poems in the book speak to the love of a child, first dates, letting go and remnants of people, places and relatable 'other'. I'm told that the low of this book of poetry tells a story, takes one on an emotional ride and is very powerful - making you LOL, teary eyed and hopeful.  

By the way, you formated my poem, almost exactly the way it appears in my book. My first time posting, i was unsure if formatting was enables, nor was i sure if there was a character limit. 

Thanks again!

[Troy]

You are welcome Dee, and I'm glad you accepted my unprofessional opinion in the spirit that it was intended. 

You can a post that is quite feature rich, including videos.  While there is a limit no the size, no one has ever exceeded it.  If you create an account you can copy and paste from a formatted document, like MS Word, and most of the formatting will be preserved.

Thanks for sharing.