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Listening is a skill that doesn't come naturally or easily to most of us... Listening is about entertaining another person's ideas, a bit like trying on their coat. It's like saying to the other person: 'I may not agree with you, I might not like what you are saying, but I am going to try to understand it from your point of view. '

What Makes Us Tick pp 29-30, by Hugh Mackay . 

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After dealing with different types of people for decades I've discovered that during the course of a conversation:

-There are people who stop talking and actually LISTEN to what the other conversant is saying.

-And those who stop talking but instead of listening they're only waiting until the other conversant "shuts up" so they can continue running THEIR mouths.

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6 hours ago, Cynique said:

So what else is new?  

Things can be common knowledge but not use. 

2 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

After dealing with different types of people for decades I've discovered that during the course of a conversation:

-There are people who stop talking and actually LISTEN to what the other conversant is saying.

-And those who stop talking but instead of listening they're only waiting until the other conversant "shuts up" so they can continue running THEIR mouths.

Very few people think their mind is closed. Yet few have am open mind.

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People who have knowledge of this common advice and don't use it, apparently don't feel the need to comply with it.  Not every body is a mamby-pamby bland person who prefers to go along to get along, especially when the views of another person beg to be challenged.   

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Not every body is a mamby-pamby bland person who prefers to go along to get along


No.
But on the flip side, it also becomes a problem when one goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to be disagreeable and combative.

Pretty soon, they're looked upon as just a little obnoxious orang-u-tang who hangs around looking for trouble, lol..

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On 3/7/2018 at 7:47 PM, Pioneer1 said:

But on the flip side, it also becomes a problem when one goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to be disagreeable and combative.

Pretty soon, they're looked upon as just a little obnoxious orang-u-tang who hangs around looking for trouble, lol.

Whose problem is it? Not mine.  Disagreeing with you is effortless and is not something i go out of my way to do.  i don't regularly disagree with anyone else on this board because they aren't the kind of person you are, someone who, incidentally, hides behind the picture of another man, apparently ashamed to show his own mug.  You have , of course, chosen to ignore how certain other posters here also reject most of  your claims which are reinforced by your obsession with white brainwashing, not aware that you, yourself, are  brainwashed by a bunch of dead or over-the-hill Afro-centrists.    

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Cynique

who, incidentally, hides behind the picture of another man, apparently ashamed to show his own mug.


Listen.......
This is the 3rd or 4th time you've made mention of my using other pictures as avatars instead of my own image.
As if it's some sort of cardinal cyber-sin or something.....lol.

Has it ever occured to you that maybe it's not a very good idea for anyone and especially Black folks to parade around the internet posting their pictures and other forms of personal information for the WORLD to obtain?

But ofcourse.....
For someone as narcisisstic as you, I'm sure thoughts like that rarely if ever cross your mind and even if they did you obviously STILL couldn't resist advertising yourself all over the WORLD WIDE WEB.

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And look at how so many people have been robbed and murdered BECAUSE of Facebook.

Hell, look at how many people have been getting killed LIVE why they were actually posting on Facebook!


Some things you just can't help, we know the internet is being monitored......but when you recklessly and voluntarily put all your business out in the street with nothing really to gain by it, that's down right foolish.

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@Pioneer1Until this very moment, I had no idea that isn’t your image brother @Pioneer1, and it could (actually) be your true image for all I know. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is ‘why,’ why would a person not want to reveal her/his self instead of using, say, no image at all? An even more pertinent question is what perception it is you’re trying to convey using a false image, and why, if in fact that isn’t your true image?

 

Sister @Cynique has this annoying knack for her dogmatic honesty very often worth paying close attention to. And, dammit, she’s right again! 

 

Considering your replies as to education, which I had the pleasure of discussing, adamantly disagreeing with you that higher education is too much of burden for Black folk to handle, or words to that effect. I ask myself now, for what reason would a person suggest such an idea even if it were true. And especially when I’ve just scolded a Black man for being uninformed.

 

Am I to resolve that’s really your honest position, thought, or feeling? Because it is not a fact higher education is too difficult a task for Blacks.

 

Oh, and then there's your comment agreeing with me again, that you don't subscribe to Democrat nor  Republican.  Was it some covert way of dissuading Blacks from voting for the best of the worse?

 

Or on the other hand, if you are with the Justice Department monitoring chatter of violence or overthrowing the Damn Government; then I definitely, really want you here as proof of this sites innocence of breaking the law. In either case, you already know about me and my background. That I don't play that type of shit, and I'm not stupid. The other stuff is too embarrassing and I'll sue (even Pro Se) if you do reveal it.  You know I'm capable of doing that too as I've succeeded before. The Attorney General of a certain State is still reeling from my kicking her White ass around the globe.

 

Come clean, brother, if you are a brother; or come dirty, but without spraying on deodorant to hide the BS BO. Even if you really are one of the White internet trolls infiltrating Black websites I'd still welcome conversing with you. It is still a marginally wide and not-so-wonderful world.

 

I'm just saying. Your credibility is at stake.

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@Pioneer1 you're so  paranoid that you actually think somebody is monitoring a nonentity like you. I have nothing to hide.    And in comparison to the millions who post pictures and info on FaceBook, SnapChat and YouTube, the number of people who have been killed over this, is miniscule.  Far, far lower than random or accidental killings that occur off line.    

 

My complaint about your need for anonymity, is  the deceptiveness you display by  co-opting  the picture of an actual person to hide behind, when you could use an avatar or a symbol.    

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@Cynique. Now we wait. A person without suspicion will respond within an hour. One with suspicion needs time to regroup or never respond again. We wait. You’ve no idea how important stuff like is to me especially. I’m in a foreign country with a questionable background and a target on his back. I need to blame someone for some recent experiences I’ve faced.

 

There’s no better evidence than social media records and data.  

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@Kalexander14Oh, Puleeze.  As much as i butt heads with Pioneer who is  regular poster of long standing on this site, i find your accusations ridiculous.  Also you might be interested in knowing that Del is a college graduate.  You can't just explode on this site and start making charges and judgments about others who have been posting here before you came here comporting yourself as an authority on everything.  

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@Delano. @Cynique, point taken. I was unaware that brother was a college graduate, I was fooled, but had my doubts when @Troy inferred he had hands-on with SPSS software

. Furthermore, by no means have I even attempted to make rules or change a program already in place. Not at all that in need or interested in making of friends or crowd following, especially blossom buddies.

 

Nor can I be detected too, by anyone, as I do not detect to anyone else. Yes, I can explode and make judgments if so chose, unless of course, you're a communist, as long as no one loses any limbs, pride isn't hurt, or name defamed. That's my human right even if God doesn't like it. WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE. DEAL WITH IT!!

 

I am fairly alarmed about @Pioneer1, who appear, someone, he is not. But even that is rendered harmless now that I’m aware.

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If @Pioneer1 was a troll he would be the most ineffective or slowest one in existence. Pioneer is not a troll.

 

I'm been running discussion forums for 20 years now and I don't begrudge anyone for wanting to maintain their anonymity.  In fact the guy who spent a decade running our book club went by the name of Thumper and he did not want to reveal his real identity. In fact for years, lurkers would come to me, in the real world, and ask if I was Thumper -- many just automatically assumed this was true.  After a while Thumper gained some notoriety and maintaining his anonymity became really hard.  To this day his real name does not appear on this site. 

 

The same was true for the author known as Zane (who has posted here in the past).  Zane ran her own forum dealing with sex and she maintained her anonymity for a long time she even had books published before people know who she was.

 

The woman you runs the most popular Black forum that I know of uses Condi Rice as her avatar, thought she revealed her identity to me when I inquired whether her site was Black owned.  Thought she could have made up an identity...

 

That said, I give a lot more credit to people who stand behind what they say with a true identity.  Look I know anyone can take some I might have written here out of context and make me look crazy.  I know I can't run for public office of work for many companies based upon some of the stuff I've written here -- even if said in jest or to play devils advocate.

 

So if you job is in jeopardy by all means use an avatar.  There are many good reason to hide one's identity on the web. 

 

BTW @Kalexander2, Pioneers avatar is Earl Graves founder of Black Enterprise Magazine: https://aalbc.com/top_black_websites/#Black+Enterprise

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i still think it shows more imagination and creativity to use a symbolic avatar. I think it's presumptuous to use the picture of someone else to represent one's own self.   

 

I, myself, use a screen name and my own picture and, as i've said,  i have nothing to hide.  I stand by everything i say, including how i really don't like this country.  

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@Cynique, take you pick, sister you want to kick me with your heels, or my boot?

 

@Troy, I was unaware such information existed, Mr. Graves, I’m sure to have learned to live with skepticism when interacting with people unaware of his identity. I am always skeptical of secrets and hidden things for the simple reason an unsatisfied curiosity. Not a troll, not a mole known as Earl Graves founder of Black Enterprise Magazine who advocates education as a waste of time because some people don't have the ability to learn.

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11 hours ago, Kalexander2 said:

@Pioneer1Until this very moment, I had no idea that isn’t your image brother @Pioneer1, and it could (actually) be your true image for all I know. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is ‘why,’ why would a person not want to reveal her/his self instead of using, say, no image at all? An even more pertinent question is what perception it is you’re trying to convey using a false image, and why, if in fact that isn’t your true image?

 

Sister @Cynique has this annoying knack for her dogmatic honesty very often worth paying close attention to. And, dammit, she’s right again! 

 

Considering your replies as to education, which I had the pleasure of discussing, adamantly disagreeing with you that higher education is too much of burden for Black folk to handle, or words to that effect. I ask myself now, for what reason would a person suggest such an idea even if it were true. And especially when I’ve just scolded a Black man for being uninformed.

 

Am I to resolve that’s really your honest position, thought, or feeling? Because it is not a fact higher education is too difficult a task for Blacks.

 

Oh, and then there's your comment agreeing with me again, that you don't subscribe to Democrat nor  Republican.  Was it some covert way of dissuading Blacks from voting for the best of the worse?

 

Or on the other hand, if you are with the Justice Department monitoring chatter of violence or overthrowing the Damn Government; then I definitely, really want you here as proof of this sites innocence of breaking the law. In either case, you already know about me and my background. That I don't play that type of shit, and I'm not stupid. The other stuff is too embarrassing and I'll sue (even Pro Se) if you do reveal it.  You know I'm capable of doing that too as I've succeeded before. The Attorney General of a certain State is still reeling from my kicking her White ass around the globe.

 

Come clean, brother, if you are a brother; or come dirty, but without spraying on deodorant to hide the BS BO. Even if you really are one of the White internet trolls infiltrating Black websites I'd still welcome conversing with you. It is still a marginally wide and not-so-wonderful world.

 

I'm just saying. Your credibility is at stake.

 

:blink: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait........hold up....gimme a minute.............

((Pioneer gets up and leaves the room for a good 7 or 8 minutes....lol))

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Ahh shit...Is that CYNIQUE coming to my rescue?????


Cynique


Oh, Puleeze.  As much as i butt heads with Pioneer who is  regular poster of long standing on this site, i find your accusations ridiculous.


Lol....
You know I'm gonna have to use this moment as FURTHER EVIDENCE of you having a secret sexual attraction to me!

I appreciate the thought, but perhaps Kalexander is right!

Perhaps the only reason I even joined this site way back in 2012 is because I KNEW if I stayed on here long enough..eventually....Kalexaner would show up.

And lo!


On a more serious tip.......
Does Kalexander's reaction help you to understand WHY it's not wise for someone to reveal too much of their personal information on the internet?

It has nothing to do with being paranoid or hiding....it's about using common sense.
No matter how much fun you may be having, things can take a "left turn" with people real quick and now they know ALL about you.
No thanx.

 

 

 


Kalexander


A person without suspicion will respond within an hour. One with suspicion needs time to regroup or never respond again.


Lol,
I don't know but it seems to ME that the person (or persons) who is actually monitoring you is the one who can respond "with in an hour".
But anyway....


I appears that you've caught me RED HANDED!

I should have known it would only be a matter of time before you figured it out.

So now, I supposed the only thing for you to do is turn yourself in to the nearest U.S. Embassy and we'll see that you get justice!

Maybe......


 

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Kalexander

Actually....I'm MORE than one person.

I'm a COMPOSITE of people who take turns on different days using different computers....in the same building.

Ask Mel...(the one using the picture of some slim brownskinned chick with long hair and an attitude).....she'll tell you!
 

 

 

Troy

If @Pioneer1 was a troll he would be the most ineffective or slowest one in existence. Pioneer is not a troll.


Slowest....????

I don't know whether to say thank you or be insulted......lol

I'm not the smartest man in the world but I've learned fairly early in life that it's not wise to tell ANYONE more information about yourself than you have to.
Either on line or off.
Especially when there is little to be gained.

I mean, if I were on here looking for women then I'd post my picture in e-mails.....lol.
But just showing my picture to be showing it and giving my real name and other personal information....with no money to be made....just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

I don't call others stupid for doing it....I just let them do them.

Kalexander mentioned White racist trolls and in his paranoid delusional rant he actually further detailed a point that I was making to Cynique earlier:
We know the goverment monitors various websites, that's a given....no secret.
They already know who you are.
But I don't consider them the biggest problem.
RACIST TROLLS and LURKERS who monitor Black sites looking for victims are!
And I think it's silly for Black people to feed them with personal information they can use.

 

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Pioneer calling Kalexander crazy is like the pot calling the kettle black.  Just because he's not a troll doesn't mean he's not an egomaniac.  He's so hard up for compliments he makes them up about himself.  

 

I am starting to like Kalexander because he's good-natured and thick-skinned.  

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Del

Thanks

BTW....
Good looking out for defending my right to privacy!

 

 

 

 

Cynique

 

I am starting to like Kalexander because he's good-natured and thick-skinned.


Yeah right....lol.
You're just SAYING that to cover up the fact that you had an EMOTIONAL MOMENT before you realized what you were doing.

Your coming to my defense and cutting into Kalexander like Cat Woman is almost IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE that my accusations have some merit to them....lol.

 

 


K2

 

HEY, to hell with everyone else, sister @Cynique just me a years dose of honorific. I'll not let it go to my head!

 

You better NOT let it go to your head, because she's got a 72 year old Latin Lover who'll go to YOURS...lol.

She's got a real SHOW STOPPER who she said lights her fire every night and if you try to get too close to her  --something tells me that WHERE EVER the hell you're hiding out at....he'd be there the next day, LOL.

Ain't that right Cynique?????

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@Cynique, Perhaps he has one of those schoolboy crushes on you, it'll wear off. I wouldn't blame him, though, your image does warrants attraction, not of fatal kind. Please don't harm him!

 

@Pioneer1, stop it, man! Your "strong defense mechanism' isn't so much a skill as it is a replacement for the burden of rejection. 

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K2
 

She's not a bad looking woman.....and seems to have a lot of "free time" on her hands....lol.

But I don't mess around with anyone over 72 (except for maybe Ernestine Shepherd if I ever had the opportunity).
Women in their 70s and 80s often have hip issues.


You can have her!


Send a ticket for her to come join you where ever you are.
She can be your 2nd wife...(or play thing).....along with that Palestinian nurse....lol.

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2 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

You can have her!


Send a ticket for her to come join you where ever you are.
She can be your 2nd wife...(or play thing).....along with that Palestinian nurse....lol.

Just an example of the presumptuousness that i find insufferable.  i wouldn't have pioneer if he was a 35 year-old hunk because his personality is a turn-off for me.  He tries to pass himself off as a macho playa but he's probably an unattractive  loser whose  faithful companion is actually a blow-up doll he keeps stashed away in the closet of his lonely abode. 

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@Pirneer1, that pesky defense mechanism flaring up again, huh? Got a cure you should try, pull back the drapes, come out from behind the curtain, draw the blinds, and take the vail off, women are supposed to wear the vail anyway. How can you kiss the bride standing at the altar wearing a vail? Put the true image of the real you out-there. It may b the only way to know how you truly feel.

 

Look out, man, haven't you read a word I've written don't let that attractive face fool you, she's potentially dangerous, man! There' some pun there but it's not worth messing with a Chicago female like that. Frankly, I believe she'll go toe- to -toe with you. Not good for your male image!

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@Pioneer1, I'm compelled to offer an example: True story: several years ago (date and names omitted) I went to visit a close acquaintance, her boyfriend had just beat her up. She was crying, nervous and in a rage; bloody lip, bruises. She went into the kitchen pulled a knife, said when comes back I'm going to kill him. I looked holding the knife and felt compassion knowing she would hurt if she pulled on someone. I calmed and showed how to hold and maneuver the knife.  Several months later I was informed her boyfriend attacked her again. They told "every place he did not grab " she sliced. Poor girl served 8-years in a women's prison because the court would self-defense as her defense. The assault was so brutal. For murder. THAT'S A TRUE STORY, and I'll never teach another person how to use a knife again.

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@Cyninque, of course, sister and I apologize to all for the graphic detail. Survival of the fittest is keened awareness of the environment and submission to one' s instincts based on empirical exposure, education, and osmosis possesses. By no means do I infer you would even contemplate such a horrific act. But every human is capable of unimaginable love as well as unspeakable violence, depending on the level of one’s fittest. I doubt you've ever been anybody's victim of a direct threat to your existence. But you are a Black woman living in one of most aggressive, hostile cities in the world, and you’re not unintelligent.

 

I argue that’s not what makes us human. It simply means our psychological nature us functioning properly. Of all the species in this planet, the female is most alluring, simply because she a female, most of us males would disagree saying wealth, food, me or you, take precedence over of a woman, then we’d promptly recall the next thing that comes to our mind. Guess what the next thing is! And that’s is what renders a woman potentially, extremely dangerous.

 

Go on, disagree with me if you will, who really know your strengths and weakness better than you. Many of you fall for the three words of your poison, but if doesn’t kill you (by that day of the month) God help the thing of your next thought. Okay pun aside.

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