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Delano

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On 9/23/2018 at 11:05 PM, Delano said:

Living alone doesn't require any compromise

 

I cooperate with others but I don’t compromise.  

 

I think compromise is disingenuous and the injured party will always look for their comeuppance.

 

In an intimate relationship, cooperation is my tool of choice.  For example, I had a lover who was polyamorous.  I’m not.  I love him like cooked food. He loves me and wanted to continue our relationship - but that would mean I’d have to compromise.  I wouldn’t and didn’t.  I let go. 

 

You can compromise your values but you can cooperate them.  

 

In intimate relationships, values match and goals are the same - or yes, partners will compromise themselves - and as @Delano mentioned that’s a soul killer. 

 

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Depends on what you're compromising on.  One partner might give up smoking, if the other loses weight.  This is a win-win situation.  Marriage doesn't always have to be a lot of melodrama.  Giving people their space is always a plus.    These are lessons for preserving a marriage.  But nothing can liberate a free spirit except being released from a marriage that has become a prison.

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8 minutes ago, Cynique said:

Depends on what you're compromising on.  One partner might give up smoking, if the other loses weight. 

I see this as cooperation.  These partners care for each other and their values are the same and they are working towards shared goal and maybe longevity. 

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Well, they are both giving up something in a compromise.  Cooperation would be more like one going along with something the other wants to do because it is better choice than not going along with it.   

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Yeah for me compromise is a win win situation, or this time your way next time my way. However if there are  core differences like Mel's then that's a horse of another story. 

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Right, cooperation should be win-win, and should not involve compromising one's values.

 

But you have to know yourself well enough to know when you compromising and be strong enough to stand up for yourself when your values are challenged. Some situations can make not compromising yourself hard or even difficult to know when it is happening. 

 

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In every SERIOUS relationship I've been in (and in nearly 50 years I can still only count on one hand all the SERIOUS relationships I've been in so far) the ONLY time I felt like I was compromising was when I made the decision to actually LIVE TOGETHER.

When we lived in our separate homes and met eachother on our own terms or stayed with eachother for a night or two, it's beautiful but when we are force to "mix energies" and share eachother's personal space in the bathroom and kitchen then the funny looks and arguments start.

Which is why I disagree with this religious and historically ethical idea that people should get married BEFORE they have sex and live together.
I personally believe based on not only experience but observation that you should live with a person for atleast 1 year before making the decision to marry them.

Some women are great actresses and it takes atleast 3 good months of living with them before the "crazy" that dwells inside of them began to unveil itself and come out of hiding....lol.

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Lol! Man you will be a batchelor for life -- and I ain't hating on you!

 

Marriage strictly for love is a relatively new concept. Adding the bonus of being a virgin and staying together forever is magical thinking.

 

Personally I like the idea of being on a loving relationship. I fully expect to cooperate but I have a few non negotiables which are not unreasonable. Basically they have to do with respect. 

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@Delano sure, since "reasonable" is subjective.

 

But I'm talking about things most people would agree on and have would have no issue complying with -- again presuming they loved the person.

 

 

 

 

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On ‎9‎/‎27‎/‎2018 at 11:33 PM, Cynique said:

@Pioneer1  i sympathize with whomever you temporarily hooked up with.  Must've been stomach-turning experience for her.  

 

If you called up any one of them they'll tell you just like Whitney Houston used to sang.....

"He gives me love........he's all that man that I need"


B)


My girl Whitney said:


 


 

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Get real.  You can tell a lot about a man's sexuality by his personality and you could never be anything but a misfiring dud in bed. You are fantasizing about a song that has nothing to do with you.  Go somewhere and inflate your blow-up doll, Skinny Bones.  

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9 hours ago, Cynique said:

Get real.  You can tell a lot about a man's sexuality by his personality and you could never be anything but a misfiring dud in bed. You are fantasizing about a song that has nothing to do with you.  Go somewhere and inflate your blow-up doll, Skinny Bones.  

 

:rolleyes:....think what you want.



 

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12 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

...think what you want.

Doing this obviously doesn't work for you, Loser. 

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On ‎10‎/‎1‎/‎2018 at 10:36 AM, Cynique said:

Doing this obviously doesn't work for you, Loser. 


I must not be THAT much of a loser.

:unsure: I can't seem to lose YOU......lol.

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