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Delano

African Marriage

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On the West Coast of Africa, the only Fon of the Dahomey still have 12 different kinds of marriage. One of them is known as, and ' giving the goat to the buck', where a woman of independent means marries another woman who them may or may not bear children, all of whom belong to the bloodline of the first woman. 

 

Audre Lorde

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Part of me wonders.......

Are these "independent women" actually having SEX with or EVEN ATTRACTED TO these so-called "wives"?
And if not, should we even CALL them "wives" in our English translation of this custom?

Also, if these other women are "bearing children" they certainly aren't getting pregnant from the "independent woman" who took them in marriage, so a man has to be involved some how..........where do the men who impregnate these women fit in in these relationships?

The word "marriage" is an English word.
The word "wife" is an English word.

Perhaps we should look for more accurate terms to describe these complex relationships that are found outside of our culture rather than trying to force them to fit inside Westernized socially constructed boxes.

 

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37 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Perhaps we should look for more accurate terms to describe these complex relationships that are found outside of our culture rather than trying to force them to fit inside Westernized socially constructed boxes.

 

True dat.

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On 1/2/2019 at 10:12 AM, Pioneer1 said:

Also, if these other women are "bearing children" they certainly aren't getting pregnant from the "independent woman" who took them in marriage, so a man has to be involved some how..........where do the men who impregnate these women fit in in these relationships?

 

Yeah, we are being mis-information via probably the Western World. 

This issue in Dahomey is not that much different than what is being reported about Keny all the way over in the eastern side of AFrica. IMO, a lot of these present day Matriarchal societies stem from White involvment with the Slave Ship Trade Era. Black African women have been so oppressed... and now... here comes the White world trying to offer ways to help these women combat conflicts that have arisen on a gender basis. I am saying this because of a recent video I watched and in it, there is Hilary Clinton in the midst. 

 

I absolutely understand all of the sides of this conflict in Kenya which this thread reminds me about. But what I want to know is just where does this horrible butchery come from in that Black African women are mutilated by Black AFrican men!? This is insane. Anyway, here is the video:

 

 

 

 

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One of these days I would like a crew of AfroAmerican students to actually go to EVERY ethnic group on the African continent no matter how big or how small and document every single cultural trait from marriage to language to diet and PRESERVE it for OURSELVES.

We can't rely on the bias and highly erroneous methods of Western scholarship to organize and preserve data...especially when it comes from people of color.

There's a reason why the term "lost in the translation" is so valid at times.
 

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@Pioneer1 Since the lifestyle and cultural and history that is indigenous to the 4-century tenure of the black presence in this country is so unnatural to you, why don't you just pull up stakes and move to Africa?  Find a village in the Bush someplace where you can settle into the earthy primitive lifestyle you are so enamored of. And why assign to black American students the arduous task of traversing the dark continent, researching  African marital customs? Why didn't you do this yourself years ago since you are so obsessed with the mores of your Motherland? But -  it's not too late. You can still satisfy your curiosity to some extent. Forsake the Starbucks ritual that is Western-inspired and trade your European garb for a loin cloth. Answer the call of the wild and the lure of keloids. Become the personification of what infests your mind-set. Um gowa! 🦁 🐘🐍🐵

 

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"We can't rely on the bias and highly erroneous methods of Western scholarship to organize and preserve data...especially when it comes from people of color. "

 

Really? Ok. So, can you recommend a complimentary and proven non-western method of scholarship and documentation? Since you loathe and dismiss Western standards of science and academic scholarship, I'm sure you can provide us with an equal (or even superior) non-white methodology. I'm kinda excited and looking forward to your listing of proven non-Western alternative disciplines and methodologies....

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18 hours ago, Cynique said:

@Pioneer1 Since the lifestyle and cultural and history that is indigenous to the 4-century tenure of the black presence in this country is so unnatural to you, why don't you just pull up stakes and move to Africa?  Find a village in the Bush someplace where you can settle into the earthy primitive lifestyle you are so enamored of. And why assign to black American students the arduous task of traversing the dark continent, researching  African marital customs? Why didn't you do this yourself years ago since you are so obsessed with the mores of your Motherland? But -  it's not too late. You can still satisfy your curiosity to some extent. Forsake the Starbucks ritual that is Western-inspired and trade your European garb for a loin cloth. Answer the call of the wild and the lure of keloids. Become the personification of what infests your mind-set. Um gowa! 🦁 🐘🐍🐵

 


:mellow:  I might.......but only if you PROMISE not to follow me there.

 

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@Pioneer1Why would i follow you to Africa? What a silly request. There's nothing about you or Africa that inspires me to want be in the presence of.  If you really want me to stop needling you about your obsession with an African lifestyle, then stop your delusional repetitive prattle about it.

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