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NubianFellow

Black Women Are Beautiful Naturally

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12 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

The issue is that too many Black men are broke and powerless and THAT'S what these women are angry about but they won't say it.

 

Now that is an interesting statement, but I think it is WE (Black men) who are angry about being powerless; the women are just reflecting back how we view ourselves. 

 

It is not about Black women, it is about us.

 

Twenty years ago Jeff Bezos, who is about my age, and I started selling books. Jeff is a multibazillionaire and I'm in debt.  What is the difference?  One has the full support and weight of the dominant culture behind him and the other is assaulted by it.

 

 

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4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

The issue is that too many Black men are broke and powerless and THAT'S what these women are angry about but they won't say it.

I have listened to a few women and that's not the problem. The problem is they either don't feel heard or their positions arent being considered. 

 

You could ask women.

 

Or you can find men that agree with you. That's requires less work and self inspection. 

 

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@Pioneer1You don't have a clue as to what "these women" are "angry" about.  Nobody here is angry but you, and that's because the women here regularly dismiss your cock-eyed opinions about black women as being stupid.   

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8 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Since you say this man was so great (the "best man" according to you)  and he's still alive, I don't suppose you want to fill us in on why you're no longer with him.


@Pioneer1 Correction: I'm no longer married to him.  He is still the father my children and we've spent practically every major holiday together for the last 2 decades.  

I'm sure I've written why we divorced  somewhere in this forum.  If I didn't, I'm not going to rehash it.  Here's the short version:  irreconcilable differences.  He had a momentary lapse in judgment (his words).  He didn't want to divorce. I didn't like being married. 

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14 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Was that White principle in your school who tried to shut Black girls down and force them to wear their hair a certain way showing you respect?
What Black man showed you MORE disrespect than he did?
What has a Black man done to YOU that was more controling and disrespectful than that?

 

@Pioneer1 I have 3 Short stories: 

 

 #1  -- I choose to share this account about a Black man that did me wrong because it has other messages within it. Back when my son was in high school and on one occasion, I told him that every time I saw him, he was being followed by this one young Black girl, ‘Brenda Doe’ and, he told me that his frat brothers pretty much told him the same thing. But, ‘long story short’, he took my observation to the extreme. Fast forward to the time of the prom. Months before the prom, tickets were sold and one day, I casually asked my son did he plan to go, and he said yes. So, I asked him who he plan to ask and later, I saw that this young girl looked White. So, I asked him what was his problem; “You are like, a stud, in your high school, and you can’t find a Black girl to take to the Prom?’ What happened to Brenda Doe? Then he said to me, as he sat in the back of our car, “Mom, I just cannot take her to the prom.” And he seemed stressed when he said this. But I pushed farther, and asked him, “Why not!?” Then he said that his frat brothers did not approve of her at all. He went on to say that his frat brothers definitely approved of the White girl and that they too were going with ‘other non-Black girls’. And some of them were not going to their prom. And when he said this, I was quiet for a moment as I was driving. Then I asked him, “Aren’t all of your frats Black? Aren’t all their mothers Black too!? He said, “Yes.” So, now because of his frats, he was ashamed to take Brenda Doe. I said, “Brenda has a crush on you, and you used to hang out with her and others in a group, going out on the weekends to the movies and stuff, and now, you don’t want to take her to the prom?” … Finally, I said to him, “Well, that’s okay, but try to find another Black girl then. You guys are a minority in this high school and yet, all of the other popular Black guys are going to the Prom with White girls, but you will not be amongst them.” … And then there was, Senior Night, when he needed me to drop him off at the band room and before he got out, I gave him some advice due to the attention that he was receiving from girls.

 

So, before my son got out of our vehicle, I told my son that when young girls regard men, they don’t initially care about color, however, they will compete for the attention of the top guys and you are in that category obviously. I also told him, too, not to ignore the bigger picture though. You go to a prestigious high school that is predominantly White, and because you are the first Black drum major ever to be chosen, therefore, you are getting a lot of attention from many directions, from adult teachers and staff and from the kids. However, don’t forget your culture. I don’t have any problem with all of the attention that you are getting from the young White girls but make sure that you notice the Black girls too. So, then, my son got out of the vehicle and reached in to grab his long, black P-coat and threw it over his shoulder and then he grabbed his fancy black felt fedora and propped it on his head. This was part of his outfit he would wear to lead his band in for half-time and for Senior night, and so, he turned to walk away. And, just as soon as he began to walk towards the band door, three young White girls came running. Two of the girls leaped and he bent down and grabbed the both of them and swung them around and they hugged him and giggled. Then, he grabbed the other one and hugged her too. Then as I was backing out, I saw that he walked away over to an angle towards the side door. He was walking in the direction of a group of young Black girls standing by the side door and they stood still for a while. … I started laughing because I knew what was going to happen. Just when he got closer to them, they started squealing and cheering and jumping . . . and when he got up to the group, their arms when up around his neck and they were hugging my son.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 

#2 This is another story about my son. Fast forward years later when after he graduated from college and after he had ridden his bike across America that summer from California back to Washington D.C. with a group of colleagues. I prayed the whole time during that summer of 2013 because it was during the trial of Trayvon Martin and he was the only Black one in the group. I didn’t want him to go but, he was too dominant and insisted on going, so I agreed but reluctantly. Later too, he had some regrets and spoke of some of the tension that he felt amongst the group but all in all, he felt that it was a successful endeavor. I attended the dinner party with other parents to watch the video of some of their journey and my son brought a date, a beautiful young Black girl that he had met in some prior affair at Howard University. But at the Dinner Party, I seemed to sense that one of the two White girls that were a part of this bike group was fixated on my son. Her parents seemed to be following me around the room and her father was a bit blunt. Some of his comments could have been taken as ‘racist’ but it didn’t bother me as I am from the north and accustomed to that kind of behavior. For instance, he asked me if my son played basketball. The Black girl stayed near to me and sat down beside me when the video was played. Soon, my son left briefly to driver her back to her campus and while he was gone, the young White girl eased up beside me and I sensed that she wanted to talk to me. So, I engaged. It turns out that she wanted me to know what my son had done to her. She told me that she started a game of tag while on the journey and well, she said that my son, like the others, played along. And that was pretty much all that she had said, but I read into it deeper. So, a few days after the Dinner party, my son and some of them drove back up to Boston and I gave him a call.

 

I told my son, what this young girl had said to me and he laughed it off. I told him that she seemed upset and insinuated that he was a little to rough in this ‘tag game’ and he immediately got angry with me and told me ‘no way’. So, my son and I went some rounds. I told him that I could tell that she had a crush on him and that she was sensitive, and I asked him to give her a call. And he again said, “no way”. But I insisted. I told him, that you don’t know girls like I do. It may seem small to you, but to females, they read much more into certain situations more than what you may realize. You may be right about the ‘tag game’ being insignificant but, because she likes you, in her mind, she may feel that you regarded her as ‘one of the boys’. Girls will blow up the simplest issues, --you’d be surprised. So, I am asking that you give her a call and make sure that all is well, and apologize to her if she feels that you disregarded her feelings or offended her. And again, he said, “Mom, I am NOT going to call that girl!” But I was relentless. I told him you must! “Don’t keep disrespecting me!” … smh! . . . Finally, months later, my son casually brought out that incident over the phone. And he said to me, “Uh, Mom, I listened to you and I did call ‘Jane’ and, Uh, you were right. She did think that I shoved her too hard. And, Uh, she did have a crush on me.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 

#3 This is an account that should answer to all three of your questions, but then, if this is not enough, I have more… *smile*

 

BATHSHEBA GIRL. This is what I call one of my younger sisters. She is a natural beauty, dark toned and her skin is so glowing that without makeup, people mistake her for wearing it. She has always been shy in public and my mother caused her to be anti-social. She has given me a hard time, but as the older sister, I became more dominant and, unlike her who had also been shy in public, I broke out of my shell eventually. But, she never did. So, after I went to college, one day, I came home and insisted that she go to her high school prom. But she refused continually until I agreed to go with her. She did not have a date, but I still insisted that she go, so I dolled her up in one of my dresses and out we went. Ultimately, she hated the experience, but nevertheless, she got a lot of attention, and was asked to dance continually. Fast forward to another time, I insisted that she go to the beach with me one summer, and again, she resisted. But I insisted. So, she wore a dark-red bathing suit and her naturally, long, intense-Black hair draped over her shoulders as she sat on the beach blanket. Her hair is thick, but it does NOT ‘fro’ [ie afro] and she has large dove shaped eyes that are slightly slanted upwards. But there she sat on the blanket and refused to get up and walk the boardwalk with me. But I felt good because at least, I got her to go out. Eventually, I got up for a little bit, and told her I was going to the bathroom and would be right back, however, before I returned, there was drama.

 

The Bathhouse was just a little ways off from where my sister sat but while I was inside, I heard a commotion. I heard some Chinese guys yelling. Then I came out and started walking back towards my sister. On my right side was the railing on the boardwalk that I was on and on my left side was some benches and beyond that the tall hotel buildings and some cafes in-between. Behind me as I was walking, I could hear the commotion start up again and I looked over my right shoulder and I saw a couple of Chinese guys yelling and waving each other to hurry. Then, I thought, “Oh no! -- they are going to approach me!” Then they were laughing and started running and two of them had fancy cameras dangling around their neck. One of them came bursting out of the bathhouse and he ran fast, while pulling up his beach shorts. Then they all shot past me!—LOL … They all ran past me and leaped over the rails . . . hit the sand and kept running in the direction of my sister. When they reached her, they were breathless and laughing and bending over trying to catch their breath. Lol. I remained on the boardwalk and leaned on the rail to watch. They asked her could they take pictures of her and she calmly smiled and said yes. … Two of them gave her their business cards and asked for her phone number and invited her to ballroom dancing. Eventually, they realized I was there… in the background… LOL and asked to take pictures of me too. But now, this story will take a dark turn as I bring in the account of the Black man…

 

I began to realize that my mother had a hard time with me because I looked like my father of whom she hated, but I also began to realize that she was simply careless with her daughters as a whole. On numerous occasions, I confronted her about allowing my sisters to date without even asking about the guys. But, eventually, my mother turned against me and this made my relationship with my sisters become strained overtime. After I got married, my mother became angry because she wanted to control my marriage and when I refused, she decided to exploit my younger sister, the Bathsheba girl, in order to hurt me. She urged my sister to call up this guy and they began to date… AGAIN!!! Why do I say, ‘again’—there is a back story to this guy who my sister met in college and I caused her to stop the relationship with him;

 

At one point, my mother enrolled Bathsheba girl into VSU (Virginia State University) an HBCU and I was already attending NSU (Norfolk State University), another HBCU. My sister hated that school and begged my mother not to enroll her there but to no avail. One day, I came home for the weekend and saw that my sister was getting ready for a date. I freaked and confronted my mother about the situation and wanted to know why she would allow my sister to just be picked up by some college guy without him even coming into the house. But my mother did not see anything wrong, in fact, she left to go to her social outing and left me there as I was cooking dinner for my other younger sister. I could see that Bathsheba girl was afraid to go on this date, so I told her that I was going to come up with a plan to rescue her if she wanted out. She told me where they were going—to his apartment but she said he had said that he had roommates and they were not going to stay there but he was supposed to take her out to dinner. I knew that it would take him about thirty minutes to get there and I knew where he lived. So, I told her to give me his phone number and address and I would call. Then I said, “when I call, if you say ‘YES, YES’, twice, then I will know that you want me to come and get you”. So, the guy came, and she went outside and got in his car and he drove off. I couldn’t believe it. But exactly thirty minutes later, I called, and she answered. Then I asked her did she wanted me to come and get her, and to my surprise, she said, “YES, YES”! I was in disbelief. So I asked her again, and she again said, “YES, YES”. So I started panting, sweating… out the door I ran… I drove over there, stressed out of my mind. I parked my car, got out and ran up the stairs. I didn’t knock, but tried the door handle and it opened… There my sister sat on the couch in the dark. I quietly waved to her to come and she got up and left and we went down the stairs, got in the car and left. She later told me that he never intended to take her to dinner. He brought her over to his apartment of which had no electricity and he beckoned her to come back to his bedroom. But she refused. So he was in the bedroom when I came to get her. Now this story will take another dive…

 

Now moving forward to when I was married, and my mother urged my sister to call this very guy up years after I had rescued her from him. My sister was still a complete virgin. But because my mother wanted her to get married, she called this guy up and she began to date him. I found out one weekend when I came home to visit, and I asked my mother where was Bathsheba. She told me that she had rented a car for her to drive up DC to visit this guy… I freaked. I said, “You rented her a car!?” Then I said, “Mom, do you know how that looks!?” But, my mother ‘blew me off’. She complained that she was afraid that her daughter would not get married. Then, I remembered that she did the same thing to me!!! LOL. Then I said, “Mom, don’t you believe in a Higher Power!?” And she responded, “Sometimes, I just don’t know”… Well, I was spellbound. I backed away out of the kitchen quietly. But fast forward… a few months later, my sister was married to this Black man.

 

My mother thought he was perfect. He was tall, and a very handsome fair skinned Black man, who had already served in the air force. … Fast forward to about sixth months later, after I had a nightmarish vision about my sister, surprisingly, in the wee hours of that very morning, I got a call from my sister, the Bathsheba girl and she asked me to come and get her. So I woke up my husband and out the door we went early that morning and we drove about four hours to DC. We walked into his apartment and after a few minutes, my sister packed up her belongings, got in our car and I drove her back home to my Mom. When I walked in the house, my other baby sister looked like she saw a ghost. She quietly asked me to come back to her room. She then told me that my mother asked her to keep this secret for the past six months, but she said that she could not bare to keep it anymore. She told me that on the morning after her honeymoon, and after they consummated the marriage, that guy told my sister, BATHSHEBA GIRL that he had HERPES. My sister was a complete virgin and that was the first date that she had ever been on! When after she broke the news to my mother, six months ago, my mother told her to stay in the marriage and so, they kept this secret from me. I couldn’t believe it! I stormed out of the bedroom, past my husband and the Bathsheba girl sitting in the living room and found my mother in the kitchen, hiding behind the cabinet. I demanded some answers. My sister wanted to come home but, my mother wanted her to stay in the marriage, I started yelling…No!!! What is wrong with you! … She belongs here. At any rate, I can give more stories about the wonderful, powerful, BLACK MAN in how they have honored BLACK WOMEN. Smh. I can tell you stories about me too, in how other Black men have ‘done me wrong’… but I felt that this story, sort of, tops the list.

 

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6 hours ago, Chevdove said:

Then he said that his frat brothers did not approve of her at all.

 

They have "fraternaties" in high school now? What was the name of his? Was it purely social, service oriented, or some combination?

 

6 hours ago, Chevdove said:

I didn’t want him to go but, he was too dominant and insisted on going, so I agreed but reluctantly

 

Sorry Ma, you had no choice in the matter; your son was a grow man at this point. 

 

6 hours ago, Chevdove said:

I told him you must! “Don’t keep disrespecting me!” … smh! . .

 

Remember, grown-ass-man. You can't bark orders: suggestions and advise sure, but don't treat him like a little boy. Your husband let you get away with this?

 

I'm trying to get the moral of your stories but I keep getting tripped up thinking this is why men must raise boys with mothers -- women can't raise boys (not saying you were a single mother).

 

I read all three stories but don't really understand what this has to do with respecting Black men relative to white ones which i thought was the point.

 

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1 hour ago, Troy said:

women can't raise boys

@Troy  please stop with the generalizations! There are far too many successful men who in public acknowledge they were raised by their mothers (ONLY).

Still women don't raise "boys" they raise adults.  Parents raise adults those who don't soon find they have grown-azz babies on their hands. 

AND it appears that @Chevdove knows her son and the young women he attracts  better than he knows himself. 

She was well in her right to pull him aside and remind him of how this "fatal" attraction could go south...and then next thing you know we'd have a Justin Fairfax-like scandal. 

Note: Chevdove is his mother.  Which is far different than  the conversation we've had here where some men think it's their job to raise their love interest. 🤮

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Mel

Interesting........
Very interesting.

 

 

 




Troy & Mel

As for what you two were talking about,
Ofcourse a woman can raise a boy to be a man as in being an "adult male"; but a GOOD MAN who can adequately protect and provide for himself and his children...few women can actually do that.
Infact, usually if he is raised by a single mother, it he DOES end up being a GOOD MAN who can adequately provide for and protect himself and his family it's because he learned it from OTHER MEN in his environment and not his mother.


 

 

 



Chev

I share Troy's observation that none of the stories you provided answered my question about what a Black man did that was MORE CONTROLING and MORE DISRESPECTFUL than what that White man acting as principle did to you in highschool.

The only thing that comes close as an example of how a Black man actually mistreated a Black woman was your last one, but it wasn't done to YOU.

Worse, what I think you're attempting to do is cloud the issue by introducing Ariana Grande, how Black men date White women, and everything else under the sun rather than focus on the fact that you are justifying Mel's declaration that the best man is a White man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Troy

Yes, Black men are also angry about being powerless but they express their powerlessness in different ways.
Most Black men who feel powerless will try to GET SOME; where is most Black women who are angry at the Black men in their lives for being powerless will make every excuse in the world for why she doesn't like or respect him EXCEPT for admitting that he's weak and broke.

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7 hours ago, Troy said:

keep getting tripped up thinking this is why men must raise boys with mothers --

Where are the Dads? On my block it was two parents. Amongst family and family friends less so. Did you have a two parents household? If not, did it make you deficient? 

 

 

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@Mel Hopkins I stand by the generalization and we'll agree to disagree.  It is better for an man to be involved in a boy's upgrading than a woman alone.  Indeed I think it is true for girls too.  Sure some women are better than others at handling the task but "in general" it is sub-optimal.

 

I would don't  go by what people say in public, what successful dude trashes his mom?!   Of course they'd praise her.  

 

I just posted a review of a book by Joy Thomas Moore who successfully raised a by by herself.  In fact, I selected it for AALBC reading list., because it is a great story, but it was instructive too.  Joy's was a remarkable mother but she was truly exception woman as was her son, Wes Moore (of The Other Wes Moore fame), was too. While Wes rearing was well done and the outcome spectacular, both mother and son would have preferred a father in the house.  I'll leave it to you to speculate why.

 

@Delano on my block is was mostly two parent households -- indeed it was a requirement when you moved into the projects.  My father was away most of the time, so honestly it was like growing up without a father.  Yes, I think I lost something.  Rather than channeling my natural aggression and competitiveness it was viewed as an undesirable characteristic.  I had to learn about everything from nocturnal emissions to how to deal with women, either on my own or in the streets.

 

@Pioneer1 some women will call a brother a weak, broke-ass nigger in a heart beat.  Walking down the streets of Harlem I've women scream this to guys in the street. 

 

I'm not sure anyone here really appreciates what it is like to grow up in an urban, crime-ridden, impoverished, segregated, ghetto --  and that is a very good thing.  

 

See when you have plenty of money, a comfortable home, good schools, and security, it is a lot easier for a woman to raise a child.  But when a woman does not have these things, raising child becomes a hell of a lot more difficult and much more so for the boys. they are less likely to graduate fro college.more likely to go to jail, and die at a younger age... in general.

 

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A lot of the boys without Dads end up with drug problems. I can think of about six that I knew about in our circle.

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I can think of many who are dead.

 

I don't blame the mothers thought most of whom did the best they could...

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51 minutes ago, Troy said:

 I stand by the generalization

 

51 minutes ago, Troy said:

I just posted a review of a book by Joy Thomas Moore who successfully raised a by by herself

 

@Troy Then actually you don’t stand by the generalization and that was my only complaint.  

 

By the way, those successful men who praise their mothers publicly aren’t required to do so. They do so because they believe she was responsible for their outcome - so there’s that - and since you promoted Ms. Moore’s book - you helped me prove that point too.

 

Just think, how many others didn’t write a book but raised successful men. So while you may disagree thank you for the additional support.  

 

And of course, I’m grateful for my dad being in the “home”. (Quotation because most men work a lot outside of the home so they don’t get to raise the children anyway) - and any dad who remains a present in their child’s life... It was my dad who taught me to meet people where they are ... and to be bold yet vulnerable ... so yeah of course, well-adjusted dads are always necessary in the home.  

 

 

57 minutes ago, Troy said:

Rather than channeling my natural aggression and competitiveness it was viewed as an undesirable characteristic. 

 

@Troy Ok we agree here... because it was my dad who helped me to channel mine! 

1 hour ago, Troy said:

See when you have plenty of money, a comfortable home, good schools, and security, it is a lot easier for a woman to raise a child.  But when a woman does not have these things, raising child becomes a hell of a lot more difficult and much more so for the boys. they are less likely to graduate fro college.more likely to go to jail, and die at a younger age... in general.

 

Socioeconomic reality... I always forget about that part.  My bad. Carry-on. 

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OK @Mel Hopkins I misunderstood what you were objecting to.  When I wrote "women can't raise boys," I did not mean all attempts would be abject failures, as demonstrated by Joy Thomas Moore.  What I really meant is that a woman's effort would be optimized with a male partner.

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My first home was Hunts Point in the South Bronx. And at 5 I remember seeing kids sniff glue. Hunts Point is still famous for prostitution. We had to pass them coming home at night. Up until about 2005 I still had relatives in Hunts Point. 

 

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I know Hunts Point well. Us fatherless boys used to cruise up there for fun. Hookers would be on the stroll stark naked!  There were strip clubs galore (whore houses in actuality). Uniformed police would be at the door. 

 

I always thought about the people who lived in thbe area. I mean they had plenty of hookers walking street where i lived too, but hunts point was off the chain.

 

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I lived there right across from the park. 

Where the school is located used to be a garbage dump. 

 

In high school a car load of the white kids from Westchester  went to Hunts Point. After a few of them were served, they found out their gal was a guy.

Two of my neighbors used to go down there on the regular. 

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20 hours ago, Troy said:

Remember, grown-ass-man. You can't bark orders: suggestions and advise sure, but don't treat him like a little boy. Your husband let you get away with this?

 

20 hours ago, Troy said:

Sorry Ma, you had no choice in the matter; your son was a grow man at this point. 

 

@Troy "Your husband let you get away with this?"

 

Patriarchal Society -- I will not submit to, NOT TODAY! LOL.

Yes, I can see he was 'a grown man' at some point after high school... and well, for BLACK BOYS, I get the sense that they are generally grown even before this point -- when it comes to how they regard 'women'.

 

But, not in any  other society IMO!!!

 

I only watch a piece of one popular show years ago, called something like 'Bachelors' and in a episode, the mother was a part of the choosing, and the guy somehow changed his mind from his first choice and went with the mother's choice for his girl. And, most of my East Indian co-workers told me that in their cultures, the mother is respected in how their son's date and choose their mates. As for me, no, I don't get involved but if a young girl comes to me and complains about my sons behavior and I feel that he is in the wrong, I will speak up.

 

As for my husband, there is nothing tht I do that I don't discuss or hash it out with him, when it comes to our sons. 

 

 

20 hours ago, Troy said:

I'm trying to get the moral of your stories but I keep getting tripped up thinking this is why men must raise boys with mothers -- women can't raise boys (not saying you were a single mother).

 

I read all three stories but don't really understand what this has to do with respecting Black men relative to white ones which i thought was the point.

 

"respecting Black men" or Black men who respect Black women?

 

Do Black men respect BLack women? 

Do White men respect their women?

 

My first story was about my son choosing a prom date and I thought I brought out a point in that most of the popular Black guys in his high school chose non-Black girls 

from Prom dates! But you don't understand my point!? WOW.

My second story was about my son in a group and he was the only BLack and I was told that he was in a sense, 'to harsh' and when I asked him to respond, he initially said, "no." But later, when he finally did call the girl, he found that I was right. I had hoped that the message from this story would show the important role that A MOTHER PLAYS in how men regard women, and especially BLACK MOTHERS.

My third story was how a Black man completely disrespected a Black girl.

 

13 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I share Troy's observation that none of the stories you provided answered my question about what a Black man did that was MORE CONTROLING and MORE DISRESPECTFUL than what that White man acting as principle did to you in highschool.

 

"MORE CONTROLING and MORE DISRESPECTFUL than what that White man acting as principle did to you in highschool."

 

The White principal announced over the intercome that no one was allowed to wear rollers to school, and you think that is worse than 

a BLack man saying this about Black women wearing weaves?

 

So let me ask you this then @Pioneer1 Have you ever heard of a White man or principal getting on the mic and announcing that "No one is allowed to bring HAIR SPRAY

to school? or, what about this; Do you hear White men speaking out against White women wearing hair weaves, and bufont--hairsprayed hair styles? 

 

I will answer too; No, they never would disrespect or control White women like that.   

 

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13 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Worse, what I think you're attempting to do is cloud the issue by introducing Ariana Grande, how Black men date White women, and everything else under the sun rather than focus on the fact that you are justifying Mel's declaration that the best man is a White man.

 

@Pioneer1 LOL! Oh but still, will you please answer the question?

 

Because if you are going to keep saying this about Mel, then I want to know your response to this one, because it would be 'WORSE' if you don't see or recognize the hiprocracy here. You did not see anything wrong with that Black man's behavior in a Black Church community dressed like she was going to a bar. But, on the other hand, Black men want to control Black women in what they wear and how they style their hair. 

 

13 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

The only thing that comes close as an example of how a Black man actually mistreated a Black woman was your last one, but it wasn't done to YOU.

 

Well, I appreciate this comment. NO, it wasn't me, but it struck in a personal way. 

When you feel that it is right to confront Black women who date White men as 'a blow to the Black cultural structure', then how can you sit there and tell me you don't see this kind of evil behavior of Black men, college boys or not, who 'rape' black girls as NOT being detrimental to the 'BLACK CAUSE'!? Come on, @Pioneer1 

 

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On 2/13/2019 at 7:58 PM, Troy said:

 

@Chevdove, see, most people would doubt, that someone walked through a wall.  There has to be some modicum of skepticism when you read something as extreme as this -- otherwise you are liable to fall for anything. 

 

Also, nothing in quantum theory suggests that people should be able to walk through walls.


@Troy   Exotic matter would suggest the possibility of walking through walls.  For example, “atoms aren’t solid, they are loaded with space – the only reason why you can’t pass through a wall is because your atoms and the wall’s atoms are operating on a mutually interactive frequency – if you could somehow change the frequency of atoms in your body – then you could or would be able to pass through the wall – since we also see along the same frequency of visible light wavelengths the wall would also seem to disappear – but actually everything has simply moved to another dimension.”   <--that's how QM SUGGEST it can be done. 

I'm not saying that there's proof but scientific method begins with hypothesis - not doubt.  A scientist doesn't doubt. 

Further  the scientific method requires observation ..yet the very act of observation in  quantum mechanics forces its outcome to change.   

***

As I mentioned to @Delano the reason why I don't post as much when I'm writing is because my mind will automatically look for an explanation to something I find interesting - I was challenged by @Chevdove's comment... and my mind continued to search for an answer when I was supposed to be working(writing).  I found a suggestion in a show I had on while I was writing and it triggered a memory of what I already knew about how it could be possible to pass through walls  or even disappear.  First you'd have to know how change your frequency , or wavelength (I learned that part back in Tech (high school)  Of course, it was further explored in the Philadelphia experiment (1943). Today, we have cloaking technology maybe not the same as walking through walls but your eyes tell your mind what to believe. 

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@Mel Hopkins Thank you. 

 

Exotic Matter...

That is so amazing! 

 

And another concept I was thinking about on this subject--

You know, when I go to the doctor to get an XRAY!!!??? I am wondering if there is a connection to this subject too, even though I know that there is today, no answer, but the explanation that you wrote is amazing. I can't wait to share it with some 'thinkers'! 

 

You know, when you go to get an xray, you are told to stand on one side of a room, and then hold your breath; then the tech takes a pic, somehow, and within seconds, their it is!!!-- a picture of your skeleton on a film! ... and then what about 'cameras too? ... a dark rooms where films were developed.... 

 

I think that there is so much more to know in this world...

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@Mel Hopkins I give you the exact same caution I give @Chevdove plus with the added bonus that a little knowledge can be dangerous. 

 

Mel not sure how you arrived at the conclusion you did based upon the information on the page you provided, but Nothing in quantum theory suggests you can walk through a wall. 

 

6 hours ago, Mel Hopkins said:

observation in  quantum mechanics forces its outcome to change.   

 

This is simply not true in the macro world.

 

@Chevdove an xray machine is no more mysterious than your cell phone camera.

 

But y'all go ahead and conflate xrays with quantum theory and "exotic" matter and theorize about people walking through walls to your heart's content. Who am I to stop you.

 

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, Chevdove said:

You know, when I go to the doctor to get an XRAY!!!??? I am wondering if there is a connection to this subject too, even though I know that there is today, no answer, but the explanation that you wrote is amazing. I can't wait to share it with some 'thinkers'! 

 

@Chevdove, interesting! Thank you for that perspective! Yes electromagnetic radiation (see electromagnetic spectrum: for more on light wavelengths) must pass through matter to capture the image of the skeleton!   Yet, our crude method of this concept (x-rays) can cause cell damage leading to cancer. My dentist took extra precaution to protect mt thyroid when I worked as a flight attendant - he said i was already getting a large dose of radiation flying the friendly skies lol!

 

This also reminds me of a documentary I watched where some biologists observed that fasting from food for several days even a week - causes the cells to change its structuee to protect from radiation damage ... after a observing the outcome on many patients they concluded the cells changes was a throwback from when we didn’t EAT all the dang time! It allowed us to survive with little food. The thing is it didn’t turn off - so today some believe our diseases are due to not periodically fasting for a few weeks - even a few days lol.  But I digress.

 

I also remembered from scripture, Jesus, as a human, did a lot of fasting...

 

So maybe, he knew who to rearrange his physical make-up to move through matter without damaging his body’s building blocks (atoms/adam) smile...

 

Thank  you for sharing  thought-provoking  concepts!   

 

I see you have a book & blog in you! Have you ever thought about using the aalbc  blog feature too!  

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Chev

Concerning what you and Troy were talking about and when boys get to be grown men.....

There was a common saying when I was growing up and the older I get the more truth I see in it......Black men don't become grown and mentally mature until about 40.

I don't know about other races of men, but I can tell you based on personal experiences as well as observation that MOST AfroAmerican men I know don't become fully mentally mature until they are in their 40s...and then they continue to get smarter afterwards until old age decline sets in.
But in their 20s and even 30s, most aren't mentally mature and often engage in silly and reckless speech and behavior.

 

 

Have you ever heard of a White man or principal getting on the mic and announcing that "No one is allowed to bring HAIR SPRAY

to school? or, what about this; Do you hear White men speaking out against White women wearing hair weaves, and bufont--hairsprayed hair styles?

I will answer too; No, they never would disrespect or control White women like that.

No, I haven't.
But White men are far more controling of White women than they are even of Black women.

Look at these little religious communities like the Mormons and Amish where they love to go off into rural areas and build their own compounds where they can have complete control outside of the law.  They make their women dress in old fashioned 1800's style clothing, don't let them wear make-up, and FORCE them to have babies over and over again in some of these communities.

White men will often KILL White women for getting disobeying them or not following cultural expectations.  Look at all the murder-suicides that happen in these mostly White communities when White men get angry and kill the entire family including the FAMILY DOG! How often do Black men do that.

 

 

 

LOL! Oh but still, will you please answer the question?

Because if you are going to keep saying this about Mel, then I want to know your response to this one, because it would be 'WORSE' if you don't see or recognize the hiprocracy here. You did not see anything wrong with that Black man's behavior in a Black Church community dressed like she was going to a bar. But, on the other hand, Black men want to control Black women in what they wear and how they style their hair.

Again, you're clouding and confusing the issue.
My criticizm of Mel isn't about how she dresses. My issue with her was HER criticizm of Muhammad Ali and other Black men who attempt to tell Black women how to dress because I didn't feel that she.....having been (or still is?) inlove with a White man and seeing him as the best....was qualified to do so. Her motives couldn't be trusted.

 

 

When you feel that it is right to confront Black women who date White men as 'a blow to the Black cultural structure', then how can you sit there and tell me you don't see this kind of evil behavior of Black men, college boys or not, who 'rape' black girls as NOT being detrimental to the 'BLACK CAUSE'!? Come on

I DO see it as detrimental, I never said it wasn't....it just wasn't the issue we were talking about.
Again, you're bringing up all of these other issues to DROWN OUT the main issue I'm speaking on which is that fact that you have Black women who worship White men and think they are superior.

 

 

 

 

Troy

I didn't word my previous statement correctly.


Yes many Black women will call a man weak and broke, but only after getting angry with him to the point that she no longer holds back how she really feels.  My point is most women tend to hold back their true feelings and don't tell men how they really feel or what they really want unless they're either drunk or in a fit of strong emotion.

I'm sure you've experienced a woman you're with arguing with you over something minor like the trash or vacuuming and then out of nowhere she brings up something you said or did or the way you looked at her female friend or some other woman WEEKS ago....lol.
You standing there like, "OK.....where the fuck did THAT come from????"
It was in her mind and  shewas bothered by it but she held it back and only in a fit of rage did she actually tell you the TRUTH about how she really felt!

In my opinion if AfroAmerican women would be a more honest about how they REALLY feel from the jump and in an intelligent and respectful way CLEARLY tell AfroAmerican males (little boys included) what they really want and expect from them, it would clear up a lot of confusion and would actually help them grow up and be the ideal men they should be.

If you want men who are strong, wealthy, and good in bed...then SAY THAT CLEARLY.
And then boys will grow up focused on trying to BE that.
Don't imitate White women or Asian women and go around telling boys that a good man is "sweet" and "kind" and "understanding" when you know good and dog-gone well that's not what YOU want in a man.

It goes back to what I've said over and over again, AfroAmericans need to stop imitating White people and come up with our OWN values and morals that work for us.
Black women don't respect "kind" and "sensitive"...they respect strength and should admit that.

 

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3 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

But in their 20s and even 30s, most aren't mentally mature and often engage in silly and reckless speech and behavior.

 

You are probably right and that is because we are not properly raised (no father in the home) and the culture has a huge hand in this.

 

3 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Black women don't respect "kind" and "sensitive"...they respect strength and should admit that.

 

This is probably true too, but again I think it men ourselves who feel this was as much if not more than women. And by strength and and power our both are praised and valued highly in our market driven culture. We judge each other on how much power and strength we wield. 

 

Also men can be kind and sensitive AND strong and powerful.

 

Women, indeed no one, likes a weak powerless man.  That should go without saying.  Does it really need to be expressed?  Now if a man demonstrates weakness in a siituation where he had the capacity to exhibit strength, a good woman should point it out -- not by emasculating him and calling him weak, but by helping him to use the strength he has with the goal of becoming stronger.  Men and women should do this for each other.

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1 hour ago, Troy said:

Also men can be kind and sensitive AND strong and powerful.

 

I don’t know any successful men (or women for that matter),  who don’t possess those characteristics.  

 

Even if they must  perform kind and sensitive acts in public to get the buy-in.  

 

I’m a woman - and I disagree. No man gets near me without possessing all four ... and more. Troglodytes went out in the stone age.  Want to be successful today better act like you got some sense. Even Roger Stone had to beg forgiveness for acting stupid. lol.

 

Also we see what happens if a strong and powerful woman doesn’t exhibit kind and sensitive behavior.  Hmph

Edited by Mel Hopkins

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People are not rational. I knew a woman who would try and get over on her man. And then said if she did she couldn't respect him. She ended up with a sensitive big teddy bear of a guy. Who was street but really affectionate. Later on. I heard he literally took cats out. So at the job he was really sweet to her but in the hood he was a killer. 

 

I also knew a feminist who liked to look at porn. I Asked her how that worked she said i dont know but it turns me on. 

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Troy

You are probably right and that is because we are not properly raised (no father in the home) and the culture has a huge hand in this.


You're right that no father in the home is a problem, but it's only PART of the problem.
Having a father in the home is still not good enough to raise a GOOD man if the father himself doesn't know what his responsibilities are.
Infact, I'd argue that if that father is abusive (to his children or their mother), stupid, irresponsible, or just plain doesn't know his duties as a man...the children are better off with him NOT being in the home and for the mother (assuming she's decent) to raise the children single. Atleast FEWER bad habits will be instilled in them.



Also men can be kind and sensitive AND strong and powerful.


This is true BUT if you look at my words I said strength and power is what women RESPECT.
Most women don't respect kindness and sensitivity.
They may like it but there's a difference between what women LIKE and what they RESPECT.

They LIKE the guy they can call up and dump their feelings on or go shopping with, but they RESPECT the man with the car, the money, and house they're staying in....lol.

Another good example.....
Cynique may LIKE Delano more, but she RESPECTS Pioneer much more, if you understand what I'm saying, lol.

From what I've read, BEFORE slavery in most African cultures we didn't have these problems of what men should or shouldn't do because each society had "rites of passage" that clearly explained to them the RULES of manhood and what was expected of them.
Today, boys are told one thing in school, another thing by their family, and see something totally different on television.

 

 

 

 

 

Del

I also knew a feminist who liked to look at porn. I Asked her how that worked she said i dont know but it turns me on.


Unless the women she's watching are being abused, how is a feminist who looks at porn contradictory?
I could see contradiction if you said she was a "devout Muslim" or "born again Christian" as both doctrines are clearly against sex outside of certain boundaries.....but feminist ideology doesn't have moral absolutes like that.

 

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1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

Cynique may LIKE Delano more, but she RESPECTS Pioneer much more, if you understand what I'm saying

Really Cynique?

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11 minutes ago, Delano said:

Really Cynique?


Don't even waste your time asking her.
She doesn't RESPECT you enough to tell you the truth....lol.

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  No, Del, My Sweet, i don't respect Pioneer more than you or any other male on this board.  i find him an obnoxious, deluded blow-hard. And the ridiculous statement he  just made is one of the many reasons i have this low opinion of  him.    😩

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9 minutes ago, Cynique said:

  No, Del, My Sweet, i don't respect Pioneer more than you or any other male on this board.  i find him an obnoxious, deluded blow-hard.    😩


:rolleyes:
Yeah.....
That sounds about right, lol.



 

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Don't confuse others with the teenaged girls you sacrifice on the altar of RKelly who you love and emulate because you can't do any better. 

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41 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:


Don't even waste your time asking her.
She doesn't RESPECT you enough to tell you the truth....lol.

okay Neo

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9 minutes ago, Delano said:

okay Neo

@Del  LOL ...as i was saying, you and your delightfully quirky mind, are so much more preferable to have around than that slug, pioneer. 😄

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7 hours ago, Mel Hopkins said:

I don’t know any successful men (or women for that matter),  who don’t possess those characteristics.  

 

I know plenty, so many I consider it a characteristic of success in this country. You realize those on wall street knew the mortgage backed securities they sold were crap and millions would be booted out of their homes right?

 

Think of all the corporate leaders who pushed addictive pain killers fueling the opiod crisis. Are these successfull people "kind and sensitive."  Look at the leader of this country. Look at the leader of Facebook.

 

Look at the leaders of flint michigan.  look at the leaders of Philip Morris who pushes cancer sticks in virtually every country on Earth -- literally causing more deaths than any other entity...

 

Mel i could go on and on. Many successful people i know personally do unscrupulous things. 

 

4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Unless the women she's watching are being abused, how is a feminist who looks at porn contradictory?

 

It is not contradictory. indeed a feminist fights for the right for a woman to exert control over her own body and sexual expression.

 

4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Having a father in the home is still not good enough to raise a GOOD man if the father himself doesn't know what his responsibilities are.

 

Of course better parents are more likely to properly rear children. But you don't have to be Dr. Benjamin Spock; children are amazingly resilient. If you can mange to feed, protect and love them they eventually find their way.

 

4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

From what I've read, BEFORE slavery in most African cultures we didn't have these problems of what men should or shouldn't do because each society had "rites of passage" that clearly explained to them the RULES of manhood and what was expected of them.

 

Rites of passage are great on paper but the impact of them is greatly diminshed if the broader culture rejects everything the child is taught to earn the honor of becoming an adult.

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Not all feminists are the same. Not sure why you are isolating the feminist who enjoys "porn" fron the others?

 

Do you have something against porn @Delano or a woman who enjoys and climaxs from watching it? 

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@Troy how many feminists do you know?

Pornography transformed women into “adult toys,” wrote feminist activist, journalist and Women Against Pornography (WAP) co-founder Susan Brownmiller in 1975, “dehumanized objects to be used, abused, broken and discarded.” “Pornography is the theory; rape is the practice,” former Ms. magazine editor Robin Morgan declared in 1977. Pornography, some argued, was a form of terror: women “will know that we are free when the pornography no longer exists,” wrote Andrea Dworkin, one of the most well-known advocates of anti-porn feminism, in 1981. In 1996, legal scholar Catharine MacKinnon argued against the idea that pornography was a creative practice entitled to First Amendment protection. While pornography itself was not responsible for sexual assaults against women, wrote MacKinnon, “men who are made, changed and impelled by” porn were.

 

Defenders of porn within radical feminism did not seek to deny the reality of exploitation and sexual violence: novelist Dorothy Allison, a member of FACT, wrote freely about having been subjected to cruel, sexualized beatings and incestuous rape as a child. But feminists who called themselves “pro-sex” objected to the idea that consuming or making porn was categorically harmful. Journalist Ellen Willis asked in 1979: “Is there any objective criterion for healthy or satisfying sex, and if so what is it?” In the same vein, others pointed out that the charges against pornography could be made against most erotic art. As former sex worker and lesbian feminist activist Amber Hollibaugh wrote in 1980, she “could make a strong argument for the potential violence of Harlequin romances” because of their depictions of heterosexual relationships. Gay historian and longtime feminist activist John D’Emilio saw violence against women on television and in mainstream films as a greater danger than porn, “since the mass media pose as real life.”

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