Work-Wife......

[Pioneer1]

I'm not sure why I had a desire to start this subject.

I guess it's because I had a COUPLE of work-wives at my old job and I'm starting to miss them already, lol.



How many of you had work-spouses?

And by  "work-spouse" I mean people you had  deep emotional connections to, to the point that you almost (or actually did) fell in love with them.
You may or may not have even been having sex with them, but that strong love and bond was there -BUT ONLY AT WORK, lol.

And DON'T LIE!
Don't you DARE get on here and front like yall don't know what I'm talking about.

I've had so many jobs in my life where people were screwing around with each other on the job.
Some even took it to another level and their relationships started interfering with their normal everyday lives.

So I don't want ANYBODY to come on here scratching their heads or playing stupid....lol

 

 

"Tell your REAL wife to quit calling up
here so damn much.
It's interfering with OUR relationship!"

 

[ProfD]

Guilty as charged your honor. 

 

Most relationships are established where we live, work and play.

 

At work, folks spend 20-40 hours per week. That's plenty time to passively get to know someone.

 

No silent 1st dates (movies) and/or food & beverage outings. At work it's just casual conversations. Every day. 

 

I have zero personal experience with dating sites because I'm an old skool dinosaur. I prefer to hunt in the wild and rely on the laws of mutual attraction.

 

I see why marriages fall apart. Coworkers spend more time listening to each other's wants, needs, desires and problems. 

[Mzuri]

1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

And by  "work-spouse" I mean people you had  deep emotional connections to, to the point that you almost (or actually did) fell in love with them.
You may or may not have even been having sex with them, but that strong love and bond was there -BUT ONLY AT WORK, lol.

 

 

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@Pioneer1

 

 

I disagree with your definition of work-wife, or whatever you had.

 

It's not someone that you fall in love with and sleep with at the job.

 

It is someone who helps you get your WORK done.

 

As to myself, I probably had some bosses that considered me as

their work-wife, but the feeling wasn't mutual since I would never

marry whitey, not even at work.

 

Nor did I ever sleep with anyone in the workplace or that I met in

the workplace.  I was there to do a job, I wasn't there looking for

a hookup.  

 

Did any of these work-wives of yours, that you may or may not 

have slept with, try to save your job?

 

Have any of them kept in touch to see if you needed anything?

 

Have any of them said they miss you?

 

And were these work-wives Black or white?

 

What is going on with you???

 

 

 

                

 

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[Pioneer1]

ProfD

 

I know EXACTLY what you mean my man, I like to meet women IN PERSON and get to know them IN PERSON...not through some lame ass dating app.

I personally thought that was designed for White dudes anyway.
Men who are too afraid to approach women or flirt with them and need "perfect conditions" and a guarantee of no failure in order to make a move...lol.

 

Old school Detroit way is you get your game on ANYWHERE.
On the street, at the train station, at the mall, in the Denny's, at school, on the bus, picking up groceries, ect...anywhere you see something you like, lol

Them old dudes didn't care....lol

 

 

 

 

 

Mzuri

 

Well I've had numerous jobs but at the job I just left in the 8 years I've been there I only had 2 real "work-wives".
One was AfroAmerican and the other was Mexican.

The AfroAmerican woman left for North Carolina a few years ago and the Mexican woman is still there and we have eachother's numbers but we don't contact eachother much outside of the work place because she has a boyfriend and children.
I respect her space.

 

As for me, I'm still looking and trying to figure out the next moves I'm going to make.
I take it day by day.

 

I'm hoping for a societal collapse....seriously.

I hope this society collapses so I don't have to worry about constantly bouncing from one job to the next based on mandates, low wages, inflation, and the other problems that seem to be on the rise in this society.

 

I hear a record number of people are quitting their jobs...probably for the same reasons we left.
Mandates, low pay, and too much bullshit to put up with.

[Mzuri]

8 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

 

I'm hoping for a societal collapse....seriously.

I hope this society collapses so I don't have to worry about constantly bouncing from one job to the next based on mandates, low wages, inflation, and the other problems that seem to be on the rise in this society.

 

I hear a record number of people are quitting their jobs...probably for the same reasons we left.
Mandates, low pay, and too much bullshit to put up with.

 

 

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@Pioneer1

 

 

I feel your pain.  But a societal collapse isn't likely to happen in the near 

future.  You're going to need to figure something out.

 

If it weren't for my Husband and the fact that we are retired and living 

on annuities/pensions, I don't know what I would be doing right now.  

 

I know that I could have survived without him, but it would have been 

difficult.  Especially getting through this pandemic mess.

As to your situation, it's hard to have faith when things are so dismal,

but you will be alright. 

 

I know you will.

 

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[Pioneer1]

Mzuri

 

 

But a societal collapse isn't likely to happen in the near 
future. 

 

Lol..
It's like waiting on the economy to collapse or the dollar to fall like the dooms-day predicters do to sell those gold coins or MRE rations.

But I think SOMETHING is going to happen because too many people oppose the mandates and are dropping out of the workforce, including a lot of police officers and other civil servant employees.  And they aren't being allowed to collect Unemployment Benefits either.
Something is going to have to give.

A good 1/4 of this nation is HARD-CORE against the jab and ain't gonna take it....SOMETHING is going to have to give.


 

As bad as things may seem right now, what you DON'T want is for it to sloooooooooooooowlly, get worse, and worse, and worse...over a loooooooooooong stretch of time.
Because that prolongs the pain and suffering in society and takes more people down with it.

How many old people have to die of homelessness and starvation because their SS check isn't enough to cover their constantly increasing rent?
How many single moms have to turn to prostitution or selling meth just to maintain a roof over their heads?

Just look at where things are headed?
It's bad enough if they STOOD STILL...but look where they are headed....down.
 

It's best for things to HURRY UP collapse into chaos.
Then either the people who are left will rebuild a better world OR the government will be forced to enact massive programs to support people while they improve conditions.
Kind of like how they did early on during the Covid Pandemic.

[Mzuri]

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@Pioneer1

 

 

I think that all this mess that's going on right now is temporary.

 

As to the homelessness situation, it's awful.  That is one thing that a person 

should do everything they can to avoid, because from what I've seen, once 

you become homeless, it is very difficult to get yourself back together.

 

I was watching a YouTube the other day, it was an MLM guy that I have been 

following for a couple of years, he said that you have to take action to make 

some kind of money before things become dire for you.  If you wait until you 

have nothing, then you won't have anything to work with.  

 

If you think it's difficult to make some kind of money while you are living in

your residence, imagine how things will be out on the street, in some dirty

shelter somewhere, in your car or a tent.

 

As long as we have that doofus Biden in the WH, things aren't going to get

any better.  Harris will be just as bad, she'll just laugh about everything.  

 

I think that once their term is up, we will have leadership that knows how

to deal with the domestic problems that are facing us now.

 

 

 

                  

 

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[Pioneer1]

Mzuri

 

Mess is the right word for it.

A HOT mess.

 

And it just didn't get started, it's been going in this direction since the 80s.
The Pandemic is just bringing things to a head.

When it gets to the point where the average person can't afford to take care of themselves and must shake up with a spouse, boy/girlfriend, or roomates just to make ends meet...you're heading towards Third World status.

 

Do you know why you don't see HORDS of homeless and drug addicted people staggering around on the streets by the millions like a zombie movie?

1.Mass incarceration
2 Mass suicide

 

First of all...EVERY YEAR tens of thousands of people have been overdosing on drugs and killing themselves for the past 20 years or so.  Look up the stats if you don't believe me.  
More people have killed themselves through overdosing than were actually killed by homicide in the U.S.  
They couldn't take the harsh conditions and first turned to drugs and then used it to take themselves out.

 

Secondly, unlike the Great Depression where people were allowed to be homeless and sleep on the street in tend cities around the nation....today police are instructed to round up much of the homeless and store them away in jails and prisons by the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS...so you don't see them.

As conditions get worse.....the government SANITIZES the problem so as to appear like it doesn't exist.

 

Just like if there was a car accident and 5 people were killed on the highway...then send in a teams to "clean it up" and in 3 hours traffic is flowing and you wouldn't know anything occured.

[ProfD]

On 10/17/2021 at 1:27 PM, Pioneer1 said:

...not through some lame ass dating app.

Agreed.

 

Apparently, both men and women are so busy working that they are too lazy, er, don't have time to meet each other in social settings.

 

These folks prefer to let a profile separate the chaff from the wheat. There's several problems with that concept but a few stick out:

 

1) nobody can list everything they're looking for in another person nor their own strengths and weaknesses

 

2) pictures lie

 

3) pheromones cannot be transmitted through a computer

 

Yet, between social media and a pandemic fueled isolation, folks may end up here:

 

 

Hopefully, I'll be dead and gone when "Computer Love" becomes real:

 

 

 I'd hate to be the one having to explain the good old days. 

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

 

 

Some of it comes from working too much, but a lot of these folks don't even have jobs.
Laying around on their sister's or grandmother's couch texting all day....ain't doing a damn thang worthwhile

 

But much of it is because the latter generations (Millenials and Gen Z) of boys have been CONDITIONED by the White people they went to school with or worked around to take a prudish attitude toward approaching girls/women.

They were taught that it's "inappropriate" to flirt with women, call them baby, and other things that were so common in the Black communities prior to 2000.

The were told that flirting heavy with a woman in public is called "street harassment" and were taught to feel guilty about doing it.

 

Now ofcourse boys will be boys and men will be men and  testosterone has a way of FORCING you to assertively and seek the comfort of a woman regardless of any social rules against flirting pursuing; but still most people just want to fit in and will try to honor the social rules.

 

The interesting thing is....
I was told by many many women (including White women) that the bold assertiveness of Black men is one of the things that made us so attractive! 
So it's I find it suspect that so many Black boys/men have been convinced that this is a problem.

If you're in your 50s I'm sure you remember the days where on any given weekend night if you go around the hood you'd see tons of Black boys and girls just out embracing eachother  smooching in public.
The boy would have his arm around his girl as if to say, "This is may lady".

When was the last time you saw THAT lately?
When was the last time you even saw a Black male and female embrace eachother in public let alone smooch and kiss?
 

[ProfD]

 

If folks are that busy they shouldn't be dating.

 

If folks aren't doing anything worthwhile or constructive, they definitely shouldn't be dating.

 

IMO, American society is definitely conditioning male behavior to be less assertive and aggressive. The equivalent of pulling a lion's teeth outta its mouth. 

 

They want males to be more sensitive to everything.  I call it the pussification of men. 

 

Unfortunately,  too many boys are being raised by women. A mother can teach her son how to be caring and compassionate. She cannot teach him how to be a man. 

 

However, by design, real men and women will connect. Survival of the fittest. Without it, humanity ceases to exist. 

 

Alpha-males don't need coaching and/or a pep talk. They know what to do when it comes to getting a woman's attention.

 

I definitely remember those days when males and females seemed to be more attracted to each other like magnets and they had no problem with public displays of affection (PDAs)   

 

The times have changed and it looks different but folks are still hooking up and showing PDAs. Just a matter of being in those spaces. Movie theaters, shopping malls and school and college campuses are filled with it.

 

Ao, I'm not overly concerned that dating will become exclusively virtual nor will old skool male/female interactions be compromised. Pheromones still exist.

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

 

 

There are so many factors that affect Black Love today.....

 

1. Confusion over sex/gender roles

 

2. Literal chemical castration that has plummeted the testosterone rate and thus the ambition and sex drive of many young men.

 

3. Decline in manufacturing jobs that Black men depended on to be the bread-winner.  So he no longer feels confident enough to be "the man".

 

4. Regression from the "Black Power" days of the 60s and 70s where dark skinned men/women with big Afros and kinky hair were seen all over television, movies, and magazines embracing and making-love to eachother.

 

This is one of the reasons I didn't have much of a problem with Meek Mill's picture on the bus.
A lot of people thought it was disrespecting Black women but when was the last time you saw brown/dark skinned Black women portrayed as sex symbols in public?

In order to FEEL sexy and attractive as women, they need to grow up seeing sexual images of Black women.

[ProfD]

Pioneer, there's truth in what you've typed but the reality is that as black men we need to boss up. 

 

In the same way that we wouldn't let someone disrepect us or ours out in these streets, we need to apply the same mentailty to strengthening the AfroAmerican community.

 

A lot of the dysfunction we discuss here can be fixed if/when the black man pulls his pants up and lets his nutz hang and fists swing as necessary.  Black men need to build and connect in order to solidify the infrastructure of the AfromAmerican nation.

 

Too many black men are buying into the pussification of society.  AfroAmericans definitely cannot afford to get pulled further down in that fox hole.  We cannot do everything they do. 

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

 

 

You're absolutely correct.
However, until we get more control over the criminal justice system and law enforcement....how much bossing up can we do and get away with?

It's one thing for a man to put his foot down and demand to be head of the household.
But if his lady REFUSES to accept his authority and even threatens to leave him. Besides putting his hands on her (which I don't advocate) and risk going to jail...what else can he do?

The little thugs and gangsters running up and down the street in the neighborhood......

Unless GOOD Black men are willing to organize a security force and just get physical with them REGARDLESS of the laws and legal consequences....how do you propose we clean up the community?

It's predicaments like these that caused a lot of good Black men to LEAVE the Black community and just get a White/Other woman and abandon the Black race.
They saw what needed to be done....but didn't see a legal way to do it and didn't have enough support from the community themselves.

[ProfD]

37 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

It's one thing for a man to put his foot down and demand to be head of the household.
But if his lady REFUSES to accept his authority and even threatens to leave him.

 

The little thugs and gangsters running up and down the street in the neighborhood......

Unless GOOD Black men are willing to organize a security force and just get physical with them REGARDLESS of the laws and legal consequences....how do you propose we clean up the community?

It's predicaments like these that caused a lot of good Black men to LEAVE the Black community and just get a White/Other woman and abandon the Black race.

The answer to everything you've expressed is a solid, strong black man. 

 

A man should not be with a woman who does not recognize and respect him.

 

The little thugs and gangsters would fall in line if they had positive black male role models.

 

Those same n8gglets seem to fall in line when the police show up and before the judge bangs the gavel.

 

IMO, black men leaving the AfroAmerican community is a cop out. It's easy to take up with women who have been culturally conditioned to be submissive.

 

AfroAmerican women bear the scars of not having strong black men around and having to raise children by themselves and having to work a job in order to make ends meet if they aren't the primary bread winner, etc. 

 

So, it takes strong black men to heal all of the scars, wounds and ills that have been inflicted on the AfroAmerican community.

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

Don't get me wrong, I don't SUPPORT selling out or abandoning the AfroAmerican community....however I understand it.
I understand WHY so many of our people...especially our men...do it.

If you THINK you only have one life to live, why would you spend it sacrificing and fighting and arguing with a bunch of people...most of whom seem to be ungrateful, petty, and unappreciative of your efforts anyway?

Why not leave the angry bitter woman for the pleasant happy smiling woman who jumps into your lap every time you come home from work and is willing to engage in any type of freakish sexual positions you ask of her?

Why take your money and invest in the hood only to get phone-calls from the police every other weekend asking that you come down and survey the damage to your store...or identify the body they found IN it.......

 

"I see the weekend is starting a little early........."

 

 

when you can work in a nice cool air conditioned tower and listen to soft music in exchanges for grinning and scratching where you don't itch from time to time to keep the wolves off your back?

Decisions Decisions my man....not everybody is up for the sacrifice.

 

[ProfD]

16 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Don't get me wrong, I don't SUPPORT selling out or abandoning the AfroAmerican community....however I understand it.
I understand WHY so many of our people...especially our men...do it.

Decisions Decisions my man....not everybody is up for the sacrifice.

 

Correct.  That's why I place emphasis on a strong black man.  Building a nation takes strength, intelligence, charisma, diplomacy, etc.    Leadership ain't for the faint of heart.

 

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

I think I've solved SOME of the problem.

Most men....of any race...aren't very strong.

Most men aren't leaders.
Most are followers.

So what we need is for the INTELLIGENT and STRONG brothers to step up and take the lead and force the others to get in line and the rest of the community is sure to follow along.


Peace and Power to the Ancestors.........