Troy Posted October 28, 2021 Report Share Posted October 28, 2021 Celeste Headlee If you have the time this video is worth listening to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 28, 2021 Report Share Posted October 28, 2021 I am focusing on having less pointless two sided monologues. Interesting so far 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted October 29, 2021 Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 Excellent video. Right at an hour long but totally worth watching especially if one wants to develop better communication skills. I really enjoyed her covering the importance of listening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troy Posted October 29, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 I have to stop lecturing and getting bogged down in the wonky details. It was interesting to hear her describe the fact that you can learn from anyone and that everyone is a an expert in something. I always believed that that is one of the reasons I want to hear other people opinions. 4 hours ago, Delano said: I am focusing on having less pointless two sided monologues. I hear you. In the real world this is easy to do because these are boring conversations. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 29, 2021 Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 Really listening is a skill. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynique Posted October 29, 2021 Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 There is nothing more engaging than listening to an articulate person who knows what he or she is talking about. The problem arises when an authority on a subject assumes you know as much as they do, and they proceed on that assumption leaving the listener unenlightened That's why brilliant people often make bad teachers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 29, 2021 Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 Her Grandfather was a Black composer and she performs his compositions. 33 minutes ago, Cynique said: problem arises when an authority on a subject assumes you know as much as they do, and they proceed on that assumption leaving the listener unenlightened It's a talent to be able to communicate effectively to a diverse audience . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted October 29, 2021 Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 In the video, Celeste mentioned that a conversation should be similar to two people playing a game of catch with a ball. Back in the day, a tennis match where the objective is to serve and volley was used to convey the same principle. The point being that neither person can throw/serve/talk and catch/volley/listen at the same time. A conversation should flow the same way. It's rude and impolite to listen with one's mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynique Posted October 29, 2021 Report Share Posted October 29, 2021 25 minutes ago, ProfD said: In the video, Celeste mentioned that a conversation should be similar to two people playing a game of catch with a ball. In social situations, I don't have a problem with a one-sided conversation wherein I am being a good listener because what the other person is saying is interesting and informative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 I listened to 50 minutes of it.....didn't bother with the last 9 minutes. She makes a few good points, however I seriously doubt it will have much impact on changing someone's behavior and how they hold conversations. People are who they are personality wise, and it's pretty much gonna take a MIRACLE to change them. I've found that what works best for me is to learn how a person is, and vibe with them on THEIR level instead of using the same approach on everyone. Some people hate when you interrupt them, other's don't mind. Some people actually love it when you can finish their sentences for them...others don't. Women and men not only communicate differently but actually EXPECT different things from the opposite sex that they don't expect from the same sex. I've noticed that a woman will let ME dominate a conversation in a way she'd never let another woman do. Just like there are certain things I or another man will let women say we'd never let another man get away with. The same thing goes for race, social status, ect..... Some of this stuff is learned from simply LIVING and can't (or it's hard to) be really taught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 21 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said: I've found that what works best for me is to learn how a person is, and vibe with them on THEIR level instead of using the same approach on everyone. maybe go back and watch the last 9 minutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 15 hours ago, Delano said: maybe go back and watch the last 9 minutes Ok...I listened to it. The only thing I got out of it as an opportunity to see the speakers chubby legs sitting in that old fashioned dress, lol. Which didn't look TOO bad to me...based on my personal tastes. Was there something about the last 9 minutes of particular importance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 54 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said: The only thing I got out of it as an opportunity to see the speakers chubby legs sitting in that old fashioned dress, lol. Yeah. I'd imagine she dressed herself for that presentation. I have an idea of where she bought that whole get up. Bless her heart. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 3 hours ago, ProfD said: Yeah. I'd imagine she dressed herself for that presentation. I have an idea of where she bought that whole get up. Bless her heart. Lane Bryant or someplace??? Looks like she got it from a 2nd hands thrift store and freshened it up. That dress looks out dated....lol. But I've seen quite a few women walking around with those "Olive Oil from Popeye" looking dresses on now. I'm not sure if it's a trend or what. Remember back in the day when PREGANT women used to dress in that oversized shit with the large bows and funny collars? Even if she wasn't showing...you knew she was pregnant based on how she was dressed, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 26 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said: Lane Bryant or someplace??? Not to further derail the thread but yeah, that outfit looks like it came from Lane or The Avenue or Catherine's or Wally World (Walmart). The outfit doesn't take anything away from her message. She was on point there. I just would have dressed her differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 19 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: She makes a few good points, however I seriously doubt it will have much impact on changing someone's behavior and how they hold conversations. On 10/29/2021 at 2:19 PM, Troy said: I have to stop lecturing and getting bogged down in the wonky details. It was interesting to hear her describe the fact that you can learn from anyone and that everyone is a an expert in something. I always believed that that is one of the reasons I want to hear other people opinions. 19 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: I've found that what works best for me is to learn how a person is, and vibe with them on THEIR level Administrators 11.3k Posted July 19 On 7/19/2021 at 10:24 AM, Pioneer1 said: What opinions have I formed OR rejected about this place? Following statement and countless others. On 7/15/2021 at 9:12 PM, Pioneer1 said: How do you know the reason they stopped you in the first place wasn't related to your skin color? the presumption here was that the maltreatment of Black people is universal. You are willing to accept this as axiomatic rejecting the experiences of a Black man who has, presumably, been there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 It is difficult for a person who reasons from experience to understand abstract concepts. Something being outside of your experience does not negate its existence. It took Cynique said that Pioneer doesn't think in the abstract. It hadn't occurred to me that people couldn't think conceptually. I thank you @Cynique for that pearl. I have very low to no expectation of concrete thinkers understanding, what to them are foreign concepts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troy Posted October 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 11 minutes ago, Delano said: ...no expectation of concrete thinkers understanding... The complete willingness to reject new information and hold tight to an idea was surprising to me too. But I do not think it is inability to think abstractly. For example, I used to believe what @Pioneer1 believed about race. Most of us did. However after the human genome was mapped and it became crystal clear that was no generic basis for race, I dispensed with the idea as well as all the conclusions based upon that idea -- which required a substantial change in one's world view. That is the part that I think people find difficult to to do, change their world view. It is hard -- especially when the new and more accurate idea does not dove tail with your personal experience. After you present people with facts that run counter to their world view and they refuse to change -- that is a person who will not incorporate who will never accept the new information. Indeed they will twist anything they read to fit their old and incorrect understanding. One would that it is easier to accept the truth, but for some it is far more difficult. In fact it is abstract thinking that make it possible to distort reality and hold onto a fiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted October 30, 2021 Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 4 hours ago, Delano said: It is difficult for a person who reasons from experience to understand abstract concepts. Something being outside of your experience does not negate its existence. It took Cynique said that Pioneer doesn't think in the abstract. It hadn't occurred to me that people couldn't think conceptually. I thank you @Cynique for that pearl. I have very low to no expectation of concrete thinkers understanding, what to them are foreign concepts Atleast a solid concrete thinker is well GROUNDED.....he doesn't have his head up in the clouds or in an imaginary world of "theoretical" thought. Who cares about your ability to think in the abstract if you can't even hold a simple conversation? Even your biggest fan Cynique can't understand what you're saying half the time and have to repeatedly ask you for detailed explanation of your riddles...lol. Unless he's an author for novels or movies, a man's thinking should be more SOUND and ON THE GROUND...while he's STILL AROUND. the presumption here was that the maltreatment of Black people is universal. That wasn't a presumption. It was a QUESTION. .....a question you REFUSED to answer because you knew the only HONEST answer you could have given was that you did NOT know. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 31, 2021 Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 18 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: Atleast a solid concrete thinker is well GROUNDED Buried 18 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: Who cares about your ability to think in the abstract if you can't even hold a simple conversation? 18 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: Even your biggest fan Cynique can't understand what you're saying half the time and have to repeatedly ask you for detailed explanation of your riddles...lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted October 31, 2021 Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 Stating the obvious, humanity needs both concrete and abstract thinkers. Some folks can see the big picture (concepts) while it takes others to bring it to fruition (produce). That's how we survive and thrive. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted October 31, 2021 Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 Delano Buried Where do you find the gold, oil, diamonds, and other precious gems??? BURIED under ground. Lol, and what happens to the man who spends too much time up in the mountains with his head in the clouds? He gets dizzy and lightheaded from lack of oxygen and his perception becomes distorted. He starts babbling incoherently and even his loved ones have to struggle to understand what the hell he's saying. "It takes two rose bushes to eat up the thorns in the ping pong patch. Those who can't think abstractly won't understand! Hee hee..." ProfD Stating the obvious, humanity needs both concrete and abstract thinkers. Some folks can see the big picture (concepts) while it takes others to bring it to fruition (produce). That's how we survive and thrive Absolutely you need both. However more than the abstract thinkers who's poetic utterings do little more than provide CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT instead of actual solutions....... you need practical VISIONARIES can use their powerful imaginations and abstract thinking to solve the problems that society faces. I'm not talking about Del btw, I'm talking in general. You have too many who love to play with the emotions of people....especially vulnerable women who are looking for answers in their lives. People who suffered emotional trauma often have voids and these snakey niccaz come along and attempt to FILL it with their psuedo-intellectual garbage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted October 31, 2021 Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/31/2021 at 7:26 AM, Delano said: I have very low to no expectation of concrete thinkers understanding, what to them are foreign concepts On 10/31/2021 at 8:43 AM, Pioneer1 said: Unless he's an author for novels or movies, a man's thinking should be more SOUND and ON THE GROUND...while he's STILL AROUND. 3 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: ProfD Stating the obvious, humanity needs both concrete and abstract thinkers. Some folks can see the big picture (concepts) while it takes others to bring it to fruition (produce). That's how we survive and thrive Absolutely you need both. However more than the abstract thinkers who's poetic utterings do little more than provide CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT instead of actual solutions....... you need practical VISIONARIES can use their powerful imaginations and abstract thinking to solve the problems that society faces On 10/31/2021 at 7:26 AM, Delano said: I have very low to no expectation of concrete thinkers understanding, what to them are foreign concepts On 10/31/2021 at 8:43 AM, Pioneer1 said: Unless he's an author for novels or movies, a man's thinking should be more SOUND and ON THE GROUND...while he's STILL AROUND. 3 hours ago, Pioneer1 said: ProfD Stating the obvious, humanity needs both concrete and abstract thinkers. Some folks can see the big picture (concepts) while it takes others to bring it to fruition (produce). That's how we survive and thrive Absolutely you need both. However more than the abstract thinkers who's poetic utterings do little more than provide CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT instead of actual solutions....... you need practical VISIONARIES can use their powerful imaginations and abstract thinking to solve the problems that society faces I also don't have discussion with people whose logic is internally inconsistent. You may want to ask the other members to explain an internal logical inconsistency. Cynique is more likely to engage you than I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted October 31, 2021 Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 3 hours ago, Delano said: I also don't have discussion with people whose logic is internally inconsistent. Has anyone accused you of talking to yourself? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted November 1, 2021 Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 On 10/31/2021 at 8:32 AM, Troy said: After you present people with facts that run counter to their world view and they refuse to change -- that is a person who will not incorporate who will never accept the new information. Indeed they will twist anything they read to fit their old and incorrect understanding. It is not easy to accept that you may not have the capacity to know when you are wrong. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynique Posted November 1, 2021 Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Delano said: On 10/30/2021 at 4:32 PM, Troy said: After you present people with facts that run counter to their world view and they refuse to change -- that is a person who will not incorporate who will never accept the new information. Indeed they will twist anything they read to fit their old and incorrect understanding. It is not easy to accept that you may not have the capacity to know when you are wrong. "He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pioneer1 Posted November 1, 2021 Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 On 10/30/2021 at 1:26 PM, Delano said: It hadn't occurred to me that people couldn't think conceptually. I thank you @Cynique for that pearl. Then: 3 hours ago, Cynique said: "He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool." Delano Perhaps you should thank Cynique AGAIN for her recent designation....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano Posted November 1, 2021 Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Cynique said: He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool. If you talk with a fool , you are the bigger fool. 1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said: Delano Perhaps you should thank Cynique AGAIN for her recent designation....lol 1 minute ago, Delano said: If you talk with a fool , you are the bigger fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynique Posted November 1, 2021 Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 Since the latter part of this discussion made mention of my reference to abstract thinking, and those who disagreed with what they thought my definition of abstract thinking is, let me make myself clear. To me, abstract thinking has to do with ideals and symbols - thoughts not things, hypothetical speaking - all of which reside in the realm of the imagination, as opposed to the immediacy of the physical world. Also, the phrase: "he who knows not and know not that he knows not is a fool" is a quote; somebody else's words, not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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