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boitumelo

BLACK WOMEN AND SEX.

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WHEN BLACK WOMEN ARE HAVING SEX WITH BLACK MEN, WHY DO THE WOMAN LET THE MAN DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO PUT ON A CONDOM...WOMEN GET PREGNANT OR GET A SEXUAL DISEASE.THEN WOMEN ARE ANGRY, REALIZING THE MAN SHE WAS WITH IS A IDIOT...ANSWER THAT...

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All of the questions and comments you have posted, "boitumelo", have gone unanswered because nobody knows the answers.

Maybe, making a responsible decision is the last thing on a couple's mind, when they get carried away in the heat of the moment. Birth control is indeed at the root of many black problems. There is too much indiscriminate breeding going. But it's very hard to change the mind-set of the younger generation who think having a baby is no big deal and maybe even a rite of passage and that STDS just come with the territory. Many black women are love-starved, having never had a father figure. They don't consider the consequences of unprotected sex when they are lonely and in need of attention.

To some degree, certain Blacks are trying to embrace DuBois' talented tenth philosophy, but there are so many opposing voices who express resentment, and who come up with the time-worn rationales about the black underclasses being victims of "The System". The black problem defies solutions because Blacks are no longer of one mind. Everybody has a different agenda in regard to improving things. As long as we can't improve schools or impress upon teenagers the importance of delaying pregnancy, progress will elude us.

Materialsim has also become almost as detrimental to Blacks as racism. Too many of us are focused on the superficial things as opposed to enriching our minds. Of course this is true of other ethnicities, too. It's a sign of the times.

As for Kwaanza, it is all about structured ritual. Everybody has to get in touch with their spirituality and whatever works for the individual is what's important. We have to find the god within and strive to become all that we can be in order to claim the serenity that is the reward.

Easy to say; hard to do. :huh:

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WHEN BLACK WOMEN ARE HAVING SEX WITH BLACK MEN, WHY DO THE WOMAN LET THE MAN DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO PUT ON A CONDOM...WOMEN GET PREGNANT OR GET A SEXUAL DISEASE.THEN WOMEN ARE ANGRY, REALIZING THE MAN SHE WAS WITH IS A IDIOT...ANSWER THAT...

Please dont make this seem like black women are the only race of women doing this. Mexican's stay breeding like roaches; why dont you ask them?

BTW, I've noticed you have a little pattern going with your line of questions and comments. May I ask how old you are?

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WHEN BLACK WOMEN ARE HAVING SEX WITH BLACK MEN, WHY DO THE WOMAN LET THE MAN DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO PUT ON A CONDOM...WOMEN GET PREGNANT OR GET A SEXUAL DISEASE.THEN WOMEN ARE ANGRY, REALIZING THE MAN SHE WAS WITH IS A IDIOT...ANSWER THAT.

It’s interesting you asked that question. A friend of mine and I were discussing this exact issue two days ago. I asked her the same question being that the consequences of many black women not intelligently protecting themselves, has had devastating consequences in current black America. With unwanted pregnancies and fatherless children giving rise to and replacing the traditional two parent household, a dysfunctional baby-mama culture. And with black women being the number one rising AIDS infection group, the obvious seems oblivious to many of them.

I don’t understand it and neither did she (she is also black). Your question is a good one. Why would anyone put their health and life in the hands of another person? You cannot and should not put your hopes into believing the other person will do the right thing. YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF! Yes, tragically a number of black women were married or were into what they believed to be a monogamous relationship only to discover that their man was a down low Negro or ex-con booty transient (who they consciously chose as a partner) who infected them. This is tragic. But for many others, unwanted pregnancies, STD’s and contraction of AIDS (which black American women have the highest growing rates) can be avoided by simply taking such matters (condoms and more careful selection of sex partners) into their own hands and flexing control over their bodies and personal life. Perhaps someone can definitively answer your question because I certainly can’t……..

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WHEN BLACK WOMEN ARE HAVING SEX WITH BLACK MEN, WHY DO THE WOMAN LET THE MAN DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO PUT ON A CONDOM...WOMEN GET PREGNANT OR GET A SEXUAL DISEASE.THEN WOMEN ARE ANGRY, REALIZING THE MAN SHE WAS WITH IS A IDIOT...ANSWER THAT...

I don't know the answer either. I usually bring my own batch of condoms with me because men will try you with that "I forgot them" scenario.

I have an even better question, why do so many black men not give a damn whether they catch something or not?

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I have an even better question, why do so many black men not give a damn whether they catch something or not?

Another good question. But I have no answer for this one......

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My sister and I were having a conversation about this a few weeks ago because of the whole fiasco with Will.i.Am. He lost our support because even though he is supposedly trying to promote safe sex amongst the black community, he stated outright in an interview that he thinks that its "wrong" for a woman to have stash of condoms of her own--just in case. Maybe I could understand that if she kept her condoms in a big old candy dish on the kitchen table for all the world to see, but he didn't even think it was acceptable for a woman to keep one or two in a drawer.

As for the lack of initiative for black women to take safe sex upon themselves, I have two opinions:

A) A load of black women and teenage girls alike can be extreme doormats. There were girls in my high school who suffered pregnancy scares or got pregnant the year after they graduated because "Their men didn't like to use condoms and they just couldn't tell them to put them on". That submissive attitude could be the result of fatherless homes, but many of the girls I knew actually did have father figures so I don't really know what else to add.

B)Black people in general have the worst case of "It Can't Happen To Me/But I Only Did It ONCE" syndrome ever. That can be attributed to ignorance, arrogance, or poor health education (which is a problem in a lot of inner cities. I went to a magnet school, but our Physical Ed./Health teacher avoided the issue of sex like the Red Death).

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I would venture to say that the romance and passion of spontaeous sex blinds lovers to the consequences of unprotected intercourse. Throwing caution to the wind can, in itself, be a turn-on. Once you inject condoms and interruptions and practicality into an encounter, something is lost in the process.

A woman who keeps her own supply of condoms on hand sorta kinda implies that there is a connection between her being prepared and her being promiscuous. This is a dilemma for women. Whatever happened to to being on the pill or taking the quarterly shots? Of course this once again involves putting the burden on women because of the possible side effects associated with staving off pregnancy via chemicals.

I've always said that babies should be injected at birth with a reversable vaccine that prevents pregnancy. Of course this is an extremely drastic measure; but nothing else seems to work. Teen-aged pregnancies and unwanted ones really take their toll on the black community. The alternative involves re-wiring the brains of people who think random pregnancies are not a problem. How likely is this???

STD are another entirely different matter. Glad I'm old.

:mellow:

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If you're in a committed relationship, your partner should know why you are carrying condoms if that is the agreed choice of birth control

It's important to talk about birth control before you even have sex with your partner so you know what to expect

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In a "committed" relationship, is the female partner carrying condoms as a back-up measure or is this the usual procedure in her role as the designated birth controller? How committed can a guy be if he doesn't buy his own condoms??? Once again responsibility is entrusted to the woman. Does his being good in the bed absolve him of all other responsibilities??

BTW, are "friends-with-benefits" hook-ups considered committed relationships??

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Both partners in a committed relationship can carry condoms in case the other forgets. Say if you're in a committed long distance relationshp, a woman might want to keep condoms at her place, for when her partner comes to visit.

and no, friends with benefits are not considered committed relationships

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There is no stigma attached to any negative behavior. People can pretty much do anything without consequences unless it involves an animal or a discharged weapon.

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