This Is What It Feels Like

This tender story of friendship, music, and ferocious love asks: what will you fight for, if not yourself? From the author of You Don’t Know Me But I Know You, Rebecca Barrow’s next book is perfect for fans of Katie Cotugno and Emery Lord.

Who cares that the prize for the Sun City Originals contest is fifteen grand? Not Dia, that’s for sure. Because Dia knows that without a band, she hasn’t got a shot at winning. And ever since Hanna’s drinking took over her life, Dia and Jules haven’t been in it. Ever since Hanna left, there hasn’t been a band.

It used to be the three of them—Dia, Jules, and Hanna—messing around, making music, and planning for the future. But that was then, and this is now: a baby, a failed relationship, a stint in rehab—all kinds of off beats that have interrupted the rhythm of their friendship.

Like the lyrics of a song you can’t forget, there’s no forgetting a best friend. For Dia, Jules, and Hanna, this impossible challenge—ignoring the past in order to jump-start the future—can only work if they make peace with who they were and who they are becoming.

But with old wounds and new secrets, can their friendship survive the pressure of the stage?

Second Chance Friendship: Dia, Jules, and Hanna used to be everything to each other. Now they’re strangers with a painful history. Can the music that once united them heal what tore them apart?

Music & Band Fiction: Frantic garage rehearsals, the thrill of writing lyrics, and the fear of stepping on stage when everything is on the line.

Heavy YA Themes: This unflinching story explores teen motherhood, sobriety, and grief with honesty and heart.

Slow Burn Teen Romance: Between band practice and motherhood, Dia finds herself drawn to a boy who sees her for who she is—but she may not be ready to risk her heart again.