Dreams and Nightmares
by Coretha Davenport

Coretha writes personally and openly about some of the deep secrets, abuse, and pain in life she encountered growing up as a child. There wasn’t much positive guidance shown from Coretha’s family at all. She grew up basically making decisions for herself and fending for herself. She became pregnant at an early age by a man who was twice her age. She heard nothing but negative comments from her family members, saying that she was going to be a teen dropout from high school, who lives on welfare assistance.

She was persistent and determined to not need her family for anything when it came to raising her kids. She also went through sexual abuse and physical abuse from members of her family. She blamed herself in many ways, that there could have been something she could have done to stop the abuse from happening. Instead of being protected by her family members, she heard gossiping, and her so-called family tried to keep her silent. Even though she grew up in church as a child, she began to feel like God had betrayed her. She felt lost in the world and not protected.

She became promiscuous as an adolescent. She enjoyed partying, sex, and dating hustler men. Despite her lifestyle, there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for her kids. At times, she held down two jobs at a time, just to make sure that her kids were straight.

For years, Coretha thought that she wouldn’t find that special someone to love her for her, and she did. Black was her everything. He treated her like a queen and gave her security and unconditional love. But that had soon come to an end when Black was killed. The pain she felt was unbearable. She was lost and became deeply depressed.

“God, why did you have to take him away from me so soon? I will never be the same.”