Capree

"Precious" is certainly tailor-made for Whites who like nothing better than to seize an opportunity to feel good about themselves by sympathizing with authentic down-and-out black characters. What better way for them to reinforce their feelings of superiority than to see Blacks portrayed as the victims of their own immorality,

This relates to why white celebs are all out there raising money for Haitians who are doomed by the misfortune that seems to be their lot in life - why white do-gooders flocked to this hell hole, playing healers to the sick and saviors to orphans. After all, God has ordained them to cure the ills of the world because people like Haitians are incapable of helping themselves! Charity is, of course, a commendable pursuit, but the other side of this coin is condescention. Yes, I know, these people are sincere and caring. They never met a cause they weren't ready, at the drop of a hat, to lavish their caring sincerity on.

As for "Precious", it's not like this movie will enlighten white audiences. What it does is confirm what they already suspect. While black folks exude a "so what else is new" attitude after seeing this film, white people upon viewing it want it to be rewarded for its true grit. Oprah praises it and so should everybody else.

But the joke is on them, and it takes the form of Gaby's TV interviews, as there she sits, chirping away in full "valley girl" mode, in effect, mocking her patronizers. In the meantime, her sidekick Monique does the best acting job of her career by humoring the Hollywood powers-that-be into thinking that what she was doing on screen was acting.

Wow, interesting and thought provoking and you might have hit on something there. I guess there are black directors and writers who will make films specifically for whites that protrays other blacks in the worse possible situations to reinforce the white society's feelings of superiority. As far as I am concerned the movie "Good Hair" does the same thing, maybe even worse.

Black men are the ones who complain that black women are too choosy! They insist there are a lot of decent ordinary brothers out there, but professional black women with college degrees will not settle for them. The women who are featured in the first post on this thread are typical of a broad segment of single black women. After making something of themselves and acquiring possessions, they do not want to marry an eligible bachelor who has dropped out of high school and works in a factory. And they certainly wouldn't be attracted to a white, beer-swilling, hockey-loving slob who works as a pizza delivery man.

I kind of feel that this is nothing but reverse psychology on the part of some black men who are actually being picky themselves in hopes of marrying a high income black woman to proved all of the things for them, that they lacked the motivation to go to college and work hard and obtain for their ownselves. But when college educated, high income sisters who have paid their dues to get to where they are at, say no to these men who will be more of a liabilty and can't even bring as much as the women can to the table then these cab driving, maintenance men brothers get angry yelling that black women are too pick when in fact it was these black men who ignored or used as bootycall,lower income black women, in hopes of marrying up to high income sisters.

Maybe CBS will do an investigate report on this...

Honestly I wish they wish one those networks would do a report on the type of white and other nonblack women that the average (not the rich and famous black men) black men get and how these old, obese or nerdy white men buy women from poor Asian countries because they can't get any women here. But naw, they wouldn't do that because that would open to many cans of worms and step on too many toes. I guess it is easier just to pick on the isolated community of African American women.

I was talking to a friend of mine today (a woman), she was telling me how gay Black men have far more difficulty finding a partner than Black women... I thought that was interesting when juxtaposed with this subject. I just never thought about but the issue. She sited the natural tendency of men (even gay ones) promiscuity as a major factor preventing long term monogamous relationships. She also said gay men are under even more pressure to have great physiques...She supported her opinions on knowing and observing a lot of gay men. Maybe CBS will do an investigate report on this...

You know I never thought about the problems most gay black men face when dating nonblack and even black gay men. Many gay men seem to prefer well build men with classically handsome, cute or almost feminine faces. Many black gay men are either very skinny or heavy and are mainly plain to ruggedly handsome than cute or femininely beautiful like more Hispanic, Asians and white gay men.

The gist of what I am saying is that dating, per se, is not that much of a problem among black women. Getting married is what is elusive.

Yes, a black woman can date men of all races, but finding a non black man who she would consider marrying and - who wants to marry her is just as hard as finding a black man who she would consider marrying and who wants to marry her.

The issue is actually about being "choosey". Black women are no more interested in marrying an unsuitable non black man than they are in marrying a non-suitable black one. For black women, it's not so much about broadening their choices, it's about lowering their standards - something many of them are not willing to do.

Obviously, this remains a controversial issue but until fine, intelligent, personable, white men with good jobs start preferring to marrying their black counterparts rather than their white ones, then the specter of reality will continue to raise its ugly head.

But this is the year 2010, and it's a whole new world out there, so - who knows???

Though I feel the segment of black men with college educations and/or high status job do tend to gravitate toward white women. I disagree that most suitable men with decent jobs/careers are mostly eluding most black women and nonblack women are the only ones that can them and I certainly disagree that black women are too picky when most of us are are happy just to have a man with just a steady job, able to carry his own weight and bring his fair share to the table with our's. Black women's expections certainly isn't as high as white women who take for granted they will someday marry doctor, lawyer, engineer or other professional, have a beautiful home, children well taken care of etc.. Most black women don't even dare to dream that especially the ones wanting only black husbands.

No the problem is that as black women, many of us restrict ourselves solely the small pool of black men. When we know that or merely have to look at the U.S. Census to see black men have the lowest employment in the U.S. and as a whole are some of the poorest men around the world. Black men in the U.S. also have the lowest college attendence and college graduation records while black women at 67% have one of the highest only being behind white women with 72%. White men are at 65%. Black men have the highest incarceration rate whether it's their fault or not. And to make matters worse for black women who are depending on black men, there is a ever growing segment of black men getting with other races. Too many of us are only picky when it comes to the man's race and that's the problem. If black women expect to ever marry a decent man black or white we are going to have to start expanding our world to include trying new things we usually don't do, going places we usually don't go and be open to flirting and receiving advances from different races of men that we have never thought of dating before.

If it was as easy as you make it sound, single black women wouldn't still be around in such large numbers. I don't agree that the reason so many black woman remain single is because they refuse to date men of other races. It's not that simple. Losers come in all colors and non black winners are not that inclined to marry outside of their race.

Dating other races of men are no more difficult for black women than for any other women, only our mindsets are. Black men are 6% of the U.S. population and black women are 7% so there is no great disproportion of the numbers between black women and black men. Yet black women who solely depend on black men for marriage are the least women being married. Black men are taking black women for granted because we make things to easy for them and they feel we have no were else to go. I am not saying black women should abandon black men and race to other men but will should certainly open ourselves up to dating other men also just like black men never hesitate in dating nonblack women.

Are you a West Indian? If there is such a thing as writing with an accent, you seem to do so.

There are plenty of black women out there who do not allow themselves to be defined by others, who love themselves, who have not been the victim of abusive relationships, but they still aren't married. Developing self-esteem is not synonymnous with finding a husband. A lot of women are looking for somebody they can love, not just some guy who will love them. And, of course, one woman's trash is another woman's treasure.

If it was as easy as you make it sound, single black women wouldn't still be around in such large numbers. I don't agree that the reason so many black woman remain single is because they refuse to date men of other races. It's not that simple. Losers come in all colors and non black winners are not that inclined to marry outside of their race.

Sorry, I just make some mistakes most every times I write. I should have proof read it but I did make the corrections in case you needed to reread it. I am African American. Many black women only think they haven't been defined or affected by the opinions of their community but in many cases we have been conditioned to see ourselves and other black women in certain way with certain limitations. I am not referring to all black women but a great deal of us do or have suffered for low self-esteem but try to mask it.

Just loving someone isn't going to workout unless you are also loved in return. So many black women just settle for, loving the man, pleasing the man, supporting the man and even not requiring marriage from the man before having his children. Women who just accept one sided relationships do so out of sheer deseperation and low esteem and I find we as black women just accept men under any terms more than other races of women do and we need to stop.

It's wishful thinking to believe that black women have options when it comes to finding a suitable mate. No matter how much a single sista "refines" herself, she is still at the behest of single males, - black or otherwise. No matter how much she broadens her choices, she still has to compete with the women of other ethnicities who are too often the preferred choices of men in general.

It's not about black women rennovating themselves. It's about black men being loyal to their race, and giving a good black woman a chance. What I hear a lot from single black ladies is you have to start early - latch on to a highschool or college sweetheart and hang on to him long enough to lead him to the altar.

It's just an irony of life that a good black man is hard to find, and being a good black woman is no guarantee that you will win over a black guy who has his pick from a wide spectrum of women..

IMO.

You know I have heard this my entire life that white and other nonblack men preferred their own, white men only want to use black women for sexual fetishes then dump them but never want black women for serious relationships or marriage and black women in other words simply not good enough, pretty enough or have enough social status to complete with nonblack women. So many negative things being told to black women on a constant basis is enough to beaten down and keep down anyone's ego and self-confidence and the real sad part is these defeating comments are coming from my own community, black society, my own family members and friends and not from my white friends I met in college, white co-worker nor the white men that I have dated.

I have always been attracted to white men also but after being conditioned that IR for black women was impossible and yes that I as a black woman was less than other women so I learned early to just accept black men who misused and abuse me because I believed no matter how much I achieved academically, professionally or how pretty I am that I would never measure up. Then by the grace of God, I just woke up one day and realized that I deserved better, I found self-love and realized my value in this world is high and I deserved love, consideration, happiness, a husband, home etc just like other women. I realized that I was just as good and could be desired just as much as any nonblack woman alive. I decided to start dating nonblack men and had no problem with finding good decent white and other nonblack men who were interested in dating me. Currently I am with white love who loves me very much and the feeling is mutual and we are talking marriage. I am in my 30s and no spring chicken and had never been ask for my hand in marriage and knew I would probably never would be married if I hadn't boarden my dating options .

African men have values that are very outdated and sexist.

I think the problem of black women not being able to being about to find suitable black men is the result of 3 things.

1. First the ratio of black women are higher to that of black men.

2. There is a growing segment of black men who marry white women andother nonblack women.

3. Many black men compared to other races of men, marry late in life or not at all.

Ladies since we can not manufactor black husbands, stop black men from dating other races or force them to marry, we as black women need to stop focusing on black men because they are looking out for themselves and doing their own thing regardless of black women, we on the other hand need to take a good look at our position in life and re-evualate our needs and wants. Whether you as individual black women need, want and deserve love, good husbands, companionship, homes and a loving family life with legitimate children like many other races of women have. If the answer is yes, like I chose then you need to adapt to reality not as you wish it was but as it really is. Reinvent yourselves into strong women first seeing all races of decent men as suitable and start crossing over just like many black men have and do already.