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  1. 3 points
    Beautiful. Aw Del now THAT is cynical LOL! KIds have kept together many a dysfunctional marriage. If it were easier for people to raise kids on a single wage (free of government involvement with child support payments), more marriages would have dissolved. Today it is FAR too easy to get married and FAR too difficult to end a marriage. Legal (government sanctioned) marriages should be eliminated.
  2. 3 points
    Toned body? Yes! Muscular one? No. Working out? No. Daily walk around the block? Yes. Motivated? No. Lazy? Yes. 😎
  3. 2 points
    I wrote this commentary below a couple of weeks ago but changed my mind about posting it because it was too cynical. But, on second thought, men do need to know they are not premium goods. Marriage really is a sacrifice for women. Especially if love isn't their primary motivation to get wed. In this day, particularly in the black community, where the battle of the sexes is ongoing, certain assumptions are made such as black men and women not being able to live with each other nor being able to live without each. But is it a really a "given" that all black women or woman of any color unequivocally need a committed mate of the opposite sex? If a woman is independent, has a career she's passionate about, one that provides her with financial rewards that make a residence of choice and a car affordable, if she has an array of sex toys that take her places shes's never been, a busy life full of avocations then, other than for household or car repairs, what does a woman need a man for? Motherhood? A status guaranteed to not only obliterate her identity but subject her to a life time of worry, sacrifice, and exhaustion. The only dubious compensation for enslavement to a child is an interval of attracting attention via a grotesque stomach shown off in a tight dress? And later, the obligatory breast-feeding project too frequently accompanied by photo-ops capturing these boring moments for social media exposure? Not to mention conducting a public suckling that gives her a chance to defy frowns and dare someone to not be as thrilled as she is over doing what any cow can do. Like marriage, what's the big deal about motherhood? Not a something that calls out to you? Then get a cat or become a favorite aunt. And who would would miss cooking meals every night and doing dirty laundry, and the drudgery of housework, the hassle of chauffering kids and nursing their ills and enduring in-laws and having no private space or time for oneself? Who'd miss the marital togetherness - the snoring and farting and groping and thrashing of a slobbering blanket hog giving mattress springs a hard time? if you have the courage to buck tradition and resist the pressures of society, do so and remain happily single, Who needs a man, an overgrown boy looking for you to bolster his ego, and reassure his self worth, enable his self pity and endure his roving eye? (Something, you, yourself, could be free to have when seeking a change of pace in the embrace of a stud from a reserve supply of disposable fuck-buddies.) Do i speak from experience or bitterness when promoting this alternative existence? Not particularly; Inspired by an earful of common complaints, i am simply coming from a place in my imagination that pictures the possibility of a different lifestyle, - one that promises another kind of "fulfillment" - one that invites "you to do you". Celebrate yourself and leave marriage and a family to those for whom this claustrophobic commitment fills a void. 🤪
  4. 2 points
    There used to be more spiritual businesses. I think so there are many world's in NYC. Yiu are forgetting its also a mecca for the arts film television music and publishing. The only other city that hss that richness is London. Which also has a large black population.
  5. 2 points
    @Delano, what say you about NYC being a spiritual mecca. @Mel Hopkins, whatever the reason, I'm sure I;m not alone is saying, I'm glad you hang around here. 🙂
  6. 2 points
    Virginia has arts and a nicer ocean, but churchwise they are similar to dallas. I never heard anything about New York being a spiritual mecca. Honestly it seems like one of the least spiritual places in the country. It is the home to the world financial markets -- that alone should disqualify it. The land mass has been completely paved over with concrete making is entirely devoid of nature. The lights drown out the stars, cutting you off from the rest of the universe. The air polluted and it is too noisy to even think clearly divorcing one from their own psyche. Just a few many reasons I would live almost anywhere else than New York City Spiritual Mecca -- I dunno about that one sis!
  7. 2 points
    I hear you @Mel Hopkins women do have a great advantage in that they are generally not expected to foot the bill especially on a first date. Curiously that "social norm" has not been replaced. Shoot, I need someone to treat me to a great date once in a while. Well this is the longest period of time I've gone without a steady main squeeze. I know the longer I remain single the harder it will be for me to get married. I too wanna leave the world the way I came into it, inside some pu--y! (did I go too far with that one?)
  8. 2 points
    This is clearly true. However I'm not convinced that what has replaced it is any better. Sure people have the freedom to be their true selves but they don't have a good way to find a mate or life partner. Also, the divorce rates escalated after these new found freedoms became the vogue. As a single man, I see it is really very hard for women to find a suitable long term partner. The culture does really facilitate this discovery. It seems to me the the sexual freedom people fought for is the very thing that makes establishing a long term relationship hard to establish. I don't have any answers but while the current situation may be better than what we had previously, it is far from perfect. The world where large families headed by a man may have been desirable when we were an agrarian nation. But in a "high tech" gig economy, That type of family does not work today. Relationships have become like a gig economy. You have a woman to raise your kids, a woman (or 2 or 3) to satisfy you in bed, and a few you can have a decent conversation with. The women who fulfill these roles change over time. The next women can be found on Tinder or some other social media ap. These types of multiple fleeting relationship is what the culture reinforces. As a married man this was something I was not aware of. As single man this became immediately obvious. There is nothing pressuring me to get married again, and lock in with single woman. There are only disincentives to marriage. So I'm not surprised there are people like @Pioneer1 have never been married or were only married for a short period of time. That said, I would get married again, and no they don't have to be a great cook, but we should be able carry on a decent conversation and be compatible (physically). Man we are a long way from the Serena Williams cartoon 🙂
  9. 2 points
  10. 1 point
    Just copy the line of code to your website or Blog to embed the map of Black owned bookstores to your website or blog. This map is automatically updated too. <iframe src="https://www.google.com/maps/d/embed?mid=1bmEDQVy0eYrwQiQQuf5386tMqwU" width="640" height="480"></iframe>
  11. 1 point
    My Inspiration to Physical Fitness . . . ======================================================================================= I have a long, long way to go. I haven’t even started yet . . . Well, actually, I have actually started . . . and started . . . and then started again and again and again . . . I am still trying to get a handle on my craving for chocolate . . . and my habit of drinking grape soda . . . Pioneer, please pretend that you didn’t read this post! . . . LOL. You’ve probably seen and heard about these amazing stories, but I don’t believe I will ever get bored of reading about them or seeing these amazing women. Anyway, I call these women; Doves’ Beauties of the Day . . . ======================================================================================= Beauty #1 ***Ernestine Shepherd*** Meet the 81-year-old woman who can bench press 115lb I’m always asked for bodybuilding advice in the gym Ernestine Shepherd 23 April 2018 Health & Wellbeing ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EARNISTINE SHEPHERD I get up at 2.30am every day. After my devotions and meditations, I have breakfast then I’ll go for a run (with a bit of walking thrown in) in my hometown of Baltimore. A typical day sees me usually exercising at the gym by 7.30am. Then I’ll teach a workout class with up to 45 people until around 11.30am before going home to eat, have a nap and see my husband, Colin. I’m usually back at the gym for 5.30pm, training people aged 20 to 86 until 7pm…. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/bb27dc63-acda-4bb8-981f-988866ace2fd ========================================================================================== Doves’ Beauties of the Day . . . Beauty #2 ***Wendy Ida*** Wendy Ida is her name and yep, she is 60 years old. She could pass for forty or even younger than that! HER Story: How 65-year-old Wendy Ida changed her life with fitness By Kristen Stephenson /Published 15 March 2018
  12. 1 point
    My pleasure @Mel Hopkins I can't up on the entire Black book world single handedly -- thought I do as good a job as anyone out there 😉 This is even more interesting than N.K. Jemison Hugo wins. BTW you know that Jemisin's cousin is W. Kamau Bell? Someone shared that with me when I posted the info on N.K. on Lipstick Alley's book forum. I have not taken time to confirm this but it is an interesting factoid.
  13. 1 point
    While you need not marry I think relationships keep yiu somewhat sane. Living alone doesn't require any compromise. Although if you die in the act like Rockefeller, it's a wrap for the woman http://nymag.com/news/features/scandals/nelson-rockefeller-2012-4/
  14. 1 point
    @Mel Hopkins, no need to feel sorry for me -- at least not yet. I'm enjoying my freedom now, but I would like a committed partner at some point in the future.
  15. 1 point
    Rock and Roll, Jazz are synonymous with £uck!ng
  16. 1 point
    In the year 2018, the whole structure of the family has changed. It can be made up of same sex partners in addition to female headed households, as well as ones run by single dads. Those who say the traditional way is best because it facilitates a balance that creates a better society, are the ones who are stuck in the past. They feel their view is supported by how much better things were back in the "good old days". But is this true? Maybe for men is was. But women weren't always content being confined to the role of subservient wife, selfless mother and dutiful homemaker. The way the divorce rate escalated under these circumstances doesn't say much for how great things worked out with society assigning roles to the sexes. Now that women have broken the mold and are about being equal partners in a relationship, some men want to slap them down and lecture them about how much better things work when women are not strong - something male chauvinist feel is equivalent to being domineering and argumentative. Secure men, however, don't have a big problem with smart, strong women. If a wife, for instance, is better at handling the finances, and a husband is as good a cook as his wife, then sharing responsibilities makes for a stable home environment. "A happy wife means a happy life". Also, a loving environment, no matter what the sexual orientation of the parents, is an acceptable alternative to a tense hostile atmosphere generated by heterosexual parents constantly at each other's throats. Time brings change. Those who can't adjust to it are out of touch. For an unattached man like Pioneer, who has never been married and therefore unqualified to speak on the subject, to advise a single black woman who is "soft, warm, beautiful, argumentative, opinionated, and intelligent" that she is, in effect, better off if she plays into the role of being emotionally and intellectually weak, in order to enable men to be strong and smart, is something that calls for a rebuttal.
  17. 1 point
    I could draw the conclusion from this discussion that "freedom" is an unnecessary word, because it is a status that does not exist. Implicit in all the individual contentions is that nobody is totally at liberty to do anything they want because extenuating circumstances come into play and corrupt the purity of the word "freedom". Choices and decisions are rejected as being examples of freedom because of what motivates and influences them . Freedom, if nothing else, is a paradoxical state of mind wherein people are free to believe anything they wish because freedom isn't a reality. .
  18. 1 point
    @Kalexander2 Because words matter. Some confuse the words “choose” and “ decide” . We are free to choose but deciding is limited to the options available. Case in point, the origin of choice is “perceive” . If we go back to the old english meaning - choice actually meant “free will” so to choose is to exercise free will. The origin of decide is “cutting off”. In fact when you look at the Proto-Indo- European root word caedre - from where decide originates - we see the origin is to “strike down” - as in getting rid of the options. Therefore, a man or woman chooses to run for president. We, the electorate, decide whether he or she will represent us.
  19. 1 point
    @Chevdove Many leaders with the charisma to attract a followers should not be leaders. The scandalous leaders in the Black church, That @harry brown often laments, the catholic church leadership (for obvious reasons), as well as the current leader of the free world are prime examples. The best leaders have the are usually put in the positions, they did not seek it. In other words, they are seeking to make a positive charge and leadership was thrust upon them. Our culture rewards people with the willingness to do anything for power. Cardi B and Minaj my beat each other in pubic but they top the charts and are world famous.
  20. 1 point
    Interesting, I could see whether you might feel Black people are ignorant or stupid, but I think this is more a consequence of centuries of racism. I hope none of the incidents you are not judging Black people on is not based upon the Cardi v.s. Nicki fight 😉
  21. 1 point
    @Troy Yes, this may be the underlying reason. @Mel Hopkins Whew! You know there are so many times I have witnessed scenes where in the case of a customer complaining about an employee that the management will support their own employee, but not when it comes to a Black woman. And the insensitive comment of the quote you put, shows how pampered Europeans can be and how supremacist they are in their viewpoint, when it comes to Black women. @Troy I don't know..... I don't think you would see White women lynched...and so even though Black men have a jump ahead of women across the board for some things, however, not for all things, even with the right to vote.
  22. 1 point
    The pecking order white male white female black male black female. The White Male is the main character in history and culture, everyone else has varying levels of invisibility. You can also add sexual orientation and cultural/country to the mix. Gay white men would be situated between straight white men and straight whute women. So men talk down to women and whites talk down to blacks. So the more powerf you have the easier it is us to dismiss those below you or simply not validate their existence. Even insults are asymptomatic
  23. 1 point
    Here's a perfect example of what I was referring to earlier. This comment was in response to my answer about a low point in my flight attendant career. As far as society is concerned, black women aren't allowed to display human frailties. This is what Serena has been dealing with her whole career but on a global scale. It is actually more than frustrating; it's infuriating. But as the Angel Maya Angelou wrote "Still [we] rise". typical. You are American so you can et away wit anything bc you're black. You are propagating the reality in your country tat black American females are aggressive and cannot control themselves. I am glad you shared this. o hand btw try tis in Europe sweetie and you will be fined or arrested. black women are not allowed to attack anyone especially white women in beautiful cultured Europe. no black entitlement special status bc of slavery tat happened 200 yrs ago wen black on white crime is the norm. which is why I live in Western Europe.<3 you do your job THEY should have fired you. Any classy airline would but you work for an American company. you are incompetent and bc you are black they are afraid to. psycho. You are a servant in the air nothing more. Quora https://www.quora.com/As-a-flight-attendant-whats-the-dirtiest-thing-you-have-done-during-a-flight/answer/Mel-Hopkins-1/comment/72884111?__nsrc__=4&__snid3__=3214182566
  24. 1 point
    Hey I'm sorry I missed the fact that this was The State of Black Science Fiction club -- my bad. I'll stay on point next time 🙂 Hey I'm sorry I missed the fact that this was The State of Black Science Fiction club -- my bad. I'll stay on point next time 🙂 That said @NubianFellow, regarding getting rid of social media; (1) is not common sense, people really don't know what is happening and if they do know the implications of what this means are lost on them and; (2) social media is addictive (think cigarettes or crack) -- people can't live without their handheld devices. People have written in a humor way about the impact of social media. Now getting back to science fiction; have you seen Black Mirror. They had a brilliant episode, of not too distant future, where people rate each other on all interactions -- not too far fetched, because we are doing this today:
  25. 1 point
    A list of Black-Owned bookstores to share for those in the #readingblack movement (a commitment to read books by Black writers and to buy those books from Black-owned bookstores). The list of bookstores, shown below may be shared on your website by adding the line of HTML code to your website. As we update our database your website will be automatically updated. You may adjust the style parameters to suit your website. <iframe src="https://aalbc.com/bookstores/readingblack_stores_share.php" padding=0 width=90% height=1000 style="border-style:none"></iframe> The code above produces this the list of bookstores below. Sharing is easy!


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