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  1. 4 likes
    Best Wishes,Respect For All The Black -Mothers,Grandmothers,Aunts, On Mothers Day..It Has Been -Said That Black Women .Are The Strength Of,The Black -Community...Extra Respect For Black Mothers Raising Children -Alone And For Black .Mothers Grieving Over their Sons --,Murdered By Nazi Terrorist Police And Street Gangs...I Think --,Cynique Is A Mother And Grandmother..A Perfect Song For -Black Mothers And Girls Is Black Pearl,By Sonny Charles -And,The Checkmates.....
  2. 3 likes
    This comment would be perfect for "Why Black Men Cheat". I'm not saying you would @Troy but I've heard a lot of men gravitate towards women who praise their success and usually that woman' isn't the wife. I've made that mistake one too many times before I noticed the pattern. Now I just keep my opinion to myself - even though cheerleading is my default status lol. I think family see the ups and downs - so it's not as impressive to them as it would be an outsider. But yes Troy, soldier on - eyes are watching and you are inspiration.
  3. 3 likes
    IMO, racism comes in degrees and, in its benign form, is wide spread. I tend to believe all white people are racist but they are not rabid ones. Pleasant, civil, white people who think all blacks look alike are racists. Ones who think all blacks have rhythm or are good athletes are racist.. Ones who want to touch your hair are racist. Ones who tread lightly around blacks because they don't want to appear racist, are racist. These racist types mean no harm. They know racism is wrong and choose not to practice it if nothing is to be gained by doing so. And this could apply to mixed couples. A white woman who has a bi-racial daughter is racist when she looks upon her child's nappy hair as an anomaly she has to try and tame. I think Donald Trump was born a racist because he was a child of privilege and wealth, circumstances that go hand and hand with racism and he is well qualified to use racism as a tool. i even think, Bernie Sanders is racist. He is paternalistic and patronizing and thought he knew what was best for blacks. Hillary Clinton, too, but she is shrewd enough to keep her racism in check. Black people can't be racists but they can be prejudiced and when it comes to white folks, they harbor many prejudices about them.. Everybody is bigoted to some degree. But, as we all know, not everybody can empower their biases.
  4. 3 likes
    Time is just our way of experiencing the universe, that does not mean that is the nature of the universe, that is just how we are able to experience it. Time is relative; for electromagnetic radiation time, as we perceive it, does not exist. Pioneer what you are calling the future has already occurred in a manner of speaking. You are willing to accept, without proof, the existence of an omnipotent being, why are you so steadfast in rejecting the existence of extrasensory perceptions?
  5. 3 likes
    I absolutely would use my extrasensory perception for financial gain. From time to time I feel like I have extra sensory experiences. For example, when I was a kid, if I was in the lobby of my apartment building I knew what my mother was preparing for dinner --especially if it was something I liked. I could "smell" the meal. Years later I realized it was physically impossible for me to smell a meal that was being prepared in an apartment 3 stories away, but if happened so frequently it could not be chalked up to coincidence. I even experienced this in within the last few years. Now I can't do it on demand it just comes to me. I've also had the persistent thought that the Earth as we know it will not persist. Interestingly, it is not a negative feeling, more of a feeling of pending transition. It is not a situation that only I experience, like my own death, but one many people will experience or transition that many people will experience simultaneously. Again I'd know what it means or even if I could understand it, but it feels like something that will occur in my natural life time.
  6. 3 likes
    In the first 27 days of not using social media at all. My traffic from social media has actually gone up when compared to the prior 27 days. It is also higher than the traffic from the same 27 days in 2016. After about 6 months or so I'll write about the impact of not using social media on my business. My initial conclusion is the increase this just reflects how the impact of my personal activity on social media has been on my websites traffic. I have to admit I have sometimes I found it hard to ignore the desire to share something on social media that I just posted on this site. I feel like people will not learn about the interesting book or author I just posted. Intellectually, know this is just the result of 10 years of conditioning to use social media. I know of course over time this urge will diminish. From an online social perspective, I have y'all :-) From my family and friends perspective, most are not active on social and those that are, are the ones sharing the minutia from their daily lives--either way I don't feel like I'm missing anything, From news and information perspective, I know I'm better off ignoring social media. It has been interesting to see traditional news outlets start to sell themselves on the virtues of providing true journalism and not the fake news you find on social media. The subscriber base for the NY Times has increased. It appears the pendulum may be swinging the other way. Last night (March 26th), 60 Minutes aired a segment which spoke about Fake News. They demonstrated how websites can buy fake likes and shares, which not only gives people the false impression that articles are important but "tricks" social media into sharing these articles as trending--which greatly increases the organic reach of the entity buying the fake likes. I put "tricks" in quotes, because I know social media sites can identify the artificially amped up articles, but they have little incentive to remove this fake engagement because it helps the social media platforms too. I watch and enjoy the Showtime program Homeland. One of the threads in the season's series deals with social media and how is used to influence public opinion. This is straight out of the article @Mel Hopkins shared about how social media was used to influence the trump campaign. This is actually not the first time I stopped using Facebook. About 2.5 years ago I stopped as part of a much larger campaign called, 99 Days without Facebook, which asked the question would you be happier with Facebook. I hoped to use the campaign to encourage others to join the effort. I don't think I convinced a single to leave Facebook. I boycotted Facebook for 37 days. This boycott is different. I don't care if any joins me. I'm not even trying to convince anyone to. I'm relating my experience here for my own benefit as much as anyone else's
  7. 3 likes
    @Cynique how could you possibly think I wouldn't be interested in this post. I find people irritating when they show me a side of myself. Arrogant know it alls, that are mistaken and stubborn. I'll have more to say after watch the clip. Also if it's okay with you I'll have a look at your chart. I can post here or privately. Yeah even though we haven't met you seem familiar. Also i feel some type of cosmic connection with Mel. I have had the same experience thst she said i gave her. This has happened twice. Troy feels like a younger older brother. And pioneer is a former? Ideological enemy.
  8. 3 likes
    My not ageeing with you does not make me unaware if racism. Your statement is worthy of Pioneer. You are exporting your views to people that dont share them. And you wonder why they cant see the racism. Mel and Cynique don't see it. So in this context it doesn't exist to them. Which is something you can neither see nor accept. Troy you may be missing my point. You are focused on the racial aspect. If you dont see or feel racism does it exist for you. It's a very subtle point. It's a variation on if a tree falls in the forest and noone hears it does it make a sound. The answer is no. A person needs to be conscious of the sound. Substituting another Black person doesn't change the focus to something other than race. At least not a nthe example you have chosen.
  9. 3 likes
    Hi there. As for me, my only reasons for not joining in on this site is that I forget. Yes, I do log into Facebook but usually to see family stuff, and I have only recently begun to "tweet". I am in the process of learning how to market my first book so I am also concentrating on getting speaking engagements and writing new articles and I blog. Yes, my publisher set me up on Amazon which I have no problem with. My book writing project was originally about inspiration, and I happen to be a Black person writing about a Black man. But I did not initially set out to specifically reach Black people. So I have become a part of the White mainstream social marketing media. And once I started trying to connect with Black book stores and what not, I became disappointed. Once I found AALBC I was delighted. But I have found that I have to remind myself that I need to engage with others on this site the same way that I do on my Blog, and on twitter. I want to have a site on AALBC separate from my blog and I intend to work at gaining a presence on AALBC by commenting on more discussions. Thanks for AALBC Troy.
  10. 3 likes
    I've been hearing so much about the surprise box office hit, "Get Out" written and directed by comedian Jordan Peele, that I actually bestirred myself to go see it. I give it a thumps up! It was quite well done, good acting, great comic relief; a satirical romp with a sly take-away. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I was amused by its off-beat plot.
  11. 3 likes
    Cynique I have a few parallels with your story. I was always seeking truth. The light and the truth seemed indistinguishable or oerhaps two sides of the same coin. And now I want to embrace love but more importantly for me compassion. My phone sometimes will type phrases, call people or refuse to show me the bottom of a page
  12. 3 likes
    @Delano the process of thinking? Or looking for answers? Well I guess that gives you an idea how I think.. If it's thinking to find an answer -I call myself the "obedient scribe" because I'll ask a question and the answer appears - or at least the field of what I'm thinking about gets narrower. That is productive thinking. Thinking to just think is much easier because I just listen. Depending on what level of consciousness, I'm currently residing, I can "hear" . For example, I woke up with a request - "someone" asked me to research the "styles of the decade - and so before I got out of bed I began penning some ideas on the topic. It was surreal even for me - because I have no real interest in discussing fashion but I did it anyway focusing first on the 70s, then the 60s, 80s, and 90s. I even wrote a blog post, "Styles of the Decades | Voices inside My Head" It turned out to be fun and I got a chance to use some old family photos in the post. Here's where it got weird. I got an email on Friday that informed me that on the very same day I began writing the post, Tim Gunn, Project runway, a show I've never ever seen -- gave a talk at the Library of Congress on the topic of fashions in the 70s. In fact, there's an exhibit on disco fashion "Bibliodiscotheque" at the LOC that ended on Saturday. In his taped interview, he said, (paraphrase) "before you can talk about the 70s you must first talk about the revolutionary 60s" ...those were nearly the same words I used in my blog post. All this to say, I believe thinking is a result of being open to any given channel of influence, so to speak... I intuited this concept early on, and I tend to tune into the highest frequency I can perceive. It just so happened that day I dialed to dial into the Library of Congress's frequency. Thank you for today's blog post topic. I'm using this response ...
  13. 3 likes
    I divorced my ex-husband for being disrespectful, not for an "adulterous" affair. I found out he was having an intimate and sexual relationship with another woman but didn't bother to tell me. If he would have told me he was seeing someone else, it would have given me an opportunity to decide how to proceed. He didn't. His silence took away my choice and also put my life in danger. I believe when you're in an intimate relationship you don't keep secrets from each other. Openness and vulnerability toward each other is the foundation of a great relationship.
  14. 3 likes
    It doesn't necessarily follow that monogamy leads to a happy home life. Being polygamous is not the same as cheating. I have known and met people who have open relationships. Otn one instance the adult child was more upset than the partner. What is moral, ethical and good is another debate. I also knew a couple where the woman was a leabian. However that was more of a business situation. Plus she did use sex as a weapon. But he didn't care. I also had a coworker that said certain sex acts her partner should see a prostitute. There's what works and what works for you. They are not always the same. Interesting. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher had an open relationship. But it broke yp when he hid one his lovers. At that point he was cheating. Its not cheating if the other person knows about your lover.
  15. 3 likes
    I'm posting here in hopes that someone might recognize an essay I once read about 20 years ago; it was written much earlier, perhaps mid-20th century, and I think the author was a fairly well-known African American male writer. It recounts an event early in his life, before doing his own writing but perhaps was in college, when he worked going door-to-door in Harlem getting signatures for a petition. Before knocking on one door in a very poor neighborhood, he heard male voices inside debating the merits of various opera singers and performers, using very sophisticated aesthetic language. He was let in and after explaining his job, one of the men said that signing his petition would probably lead to no important changes, but they would do it for him as a personal favor. Before leaving, he asked how it was that he found them talking so fluently about high art, and they explained that they worked as extras for Aida, and so had picked up much experience and language for describing such things. The author was profoundly affected by this, which made him change some of his prior assumptions about race and class, for he thought that his own education had set him apart from so many other blacks, but he now realized that things were far more mixed-up and complicated than he imagined, and that this potential for jumbling up things was in some way the essence of the best of America.
  16. 3 likes
    I've been thinking about how I think and I'm not sure. I will say that I am always challenged by people who confidently assert something, and my first impulse is contradict them with an alternate possibility. I am a natural polemicist and an inductive thinker, which is why I anticipate what a person who disagrees with me would say and I am thinking of how to respond to their rebuttal even as i am trying to get my ideas across. My main shortcoming is remembering something I have heard somewhere and including it in making my point without being able to back it up with references and hard facts. So this can make it easy for someone to tell me that I don't know what i'm talking about. LOL. In being a truth seeker, my perspective is always about the big picture and the overview because I think people get caught up in their own little worlds. I am also a cynical old broad who used to be a skeptical young chick. Debbie Downer. Below are my observations about the thought processes of you 3 guys, and they are observations not criticisms. They are what make you all uniquely yourselves. Del assumes you know where he is coming from and is spontaneous in his comments which are often out of context and are, therefore, confusing. He is also mercurial but this contributes to his being flexible in his positions. He seems self-aware and sensitive, a versatile thinker comfortable with both science and spirituality. Troy subconsciously uses the power of persuasion in his arguments, assuming that what is as "given" to him is a "given" to you - until you snap out of it.LOL He borders on ennobling himself because he always takes the high ground and although he sometimes takes on the role of the victim, too, he is very convincing in justifying his grievances. A great technical, resourceful mind complemented by a winning personality With Pioneer, he is very opinionated and often backs up his opinions with specious arguments that, if not necessarily factual, are at least interesting and provocative, - not to mention long-winded. A well-read, unorthodox thinker with a sly sense of humor. I enjoy sparring with all of you. You make my life more interesting because I don't get a lot of mental stimulation in my day-to-day existence that includes scrolling up and down FaceBook..
  17. 3 likes
    I liked the movie. And I disagree with Aries. All black people are not going to hang out with people in the hood and be "down." There are some black people I would not like to hang out with. 1). Hood people who are ignorant and have no hope. 2). Boogie black people who are not real with themselves and think they are above all other black people. I came from a rough city. There are those who referred to themselves as "niggas" and stayed where they were. And there are those who fought their way out through education and work, who would have nothing in common with the people who chose to stay "down" and to stay "niggas." Aries makes it as though all black people naturally gravitate to a rough crowd, and those in the rough crowd are the more authentic black people. I beg to differ.
  18. 3 likes
    Hummm. All these old threads from the past, are interesting. On this one, I must've been in pure contrarian mode when commenting. Suddenly, I'm on your side, Troy. IMO, faithfulness is about buying into the concept that love is a prison that confines rather than a sentiment that expands. Monogamy is for those who find security in a world with a population of 2, where religion is represented by worshiping each other. If it's the true nature for a woman or a man whose appetite for apples does not dull their taste of oranges, then sameness is a stifling alternative to diversity. The welfare of children should not totally control one's life and they probably benefit from being spared this form of suffocation. A fulfilled parent is a better parent than a frustrated one. I respect and admire those who make and keep their romantic commitments but I wouldn't judge anyone of either sex who has an appreciation for variety being the spice of life, - as long as discretion is exercised. Of course, marriage involves responsibility and dedication, and I guess that's why so many are now delaying it. If it's not a natural state for you, then there's no need to bow to societal and parental pressure to enter into it Yes, I was wed for 50 years and I think the reason my marriage lasted that long was because my husband and I gave each other a lot of space and encouraged our kids to be independent. Life is too short to live by other people's rules. Be true to yourself. And - duck if your pistol-packin mate catches you indulging your passion for polygamy.
  19. 3 likes
    Hi Lisa, one could argue that a strong loving family exists because men cheat. Cheating, in and of itself, does not cause damage to the family structure and illegitimate children. Lack of birth control causes this. As far as arguments and jealousy, getting caught and lack of discretion is usually the culprit. Stating that monogamy is the "right" thing makes assumptions that I'm not willing accept so easily. What makes monogamy right? I don't ask the question lightly: Sapiens have been running around on this planet for about 200K years. When did monogamy become right? If there was a start, when did it happen and who decreed it to be right? Is this a permanent rule? I understand our cultural standards completely, but I can also observe our collective behavior as well. The cultural standard is that people are only supposed to have sex with one other person, of the opposite gender, that we are married to. Again one will argue this is the right thing to do, but I'm not so sure. Given the almost complete failure of anyone to do this should be a clue. Also who says monogamy has to be limited to men?
  20. 3 likes
    Well, Troy, I'm not disputing that men desire sex. My point was that put in circumstances conducive to sex, all men don't take advantage of this and they refrain from doing so for various reasons. And it doesn't necessary have to do with a woman's ugliness; might be her personal hygiene or halitosis or her weight. Of course any woman can find some man to screw her. Even a dead woman is fair game to some. Nevertheless, for whatever reason, there are women who lament the fact that men rejected them when they tried to seduce them. And of course both men and women lie about their sex activity. Women do so to avoid being thought of as sluts, and men do so in hopes of being regarded as macho. Image is a factor. In the demanding throes of modern day life, stress takes its toll on passion and drive. We are no longer living in the stone age. Surveys have revealed that many couples go weeks without sex, or even have separate bedrooms. Yes, some men have mid-life crises affairs. But it's not unusual for wives to complain about their husbands having low sex drives. Like everything else nowadays, it's complicated. Why do men cheat? Because, as you and Pioneer contend, it's their nature to have sex with anyone wherever it's available whether they are single or in a relationship? Really? Are you guys speaking for yourselves?
  21. 3 likes
    Why is stuff so normal considered to be paranormal? It's kind of like how wearing suit, ties, and stockings in the blazing sun is normal while wearing little or no clothing in such heat is abnormal. I don't find anything "para"normal about one closing his eyes in sleep and seeing the events of things to come played out for him. Nor do I find anything "para" normal about one spinning without physically moving, leaving her body, floating, going to other realms. What is not normal about being able to hear things that are actually being said or thought without being in the physical presence of those who are saying them? What I do, however, find abnormal is that we continue to find these things abnormal or unbelievable. What is really abnormal? Being so far removed from those parts of us unlimited by flesh until we think that this physical realm is all there is an existence so unlimited or being in closer touch with those parts of us unlimited by flesh and thinking that there is much more to existence than this physical realm? It's almost as baffling as seeing how baffled some of the "greatest minds" (whatever the criteria for that is... ) in literature are to this day over these lines: "Beauty is truth, truth beauty- that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."
  22. 2 likes
    When in Florida, I spend hours in Barnes and Noble and Starbucks working on AALBC.com. Sometimes I use the library, but I like being able to buy a cup of coffee and something to eat without having to pack up and leave.. Plus, I can people watch in B&N and Starbucks. People are so interesting, but before I digress let me tell you about a Brother I've become friendly with over the last couple of years, Milton Bertrand. We started talking because I noticed he was sitting in the B&N at a wooden desk--that he brought into the store himself--which initially seemed crazy--who brings a desk to a bookstore?!. We started talking and he explained how his desk actually folded up into his backpack. I thought that was such a cool idea since tables can fill up during busy times in the store. I filmed him on my cell phone but never edited the video (just never got to it). Late last year, I ran into him again and this time he had an upgraded model of the desk. It was no longer made out of wood, but plastic and a light-weight metal. The desk can also be converted into an easel with the desktop doubling as a whiteboard-like writing surface. So I filmed him again and this time I even started to edit the video, but one thing led to another and I never finished editing it. Yesterday I saw him again and told him I'll get to his video, but I was saying to myself I must sound like I'm full crap. So while he never asked for a video, I'd been promising to create one, for the better part of a year, but never did it. So I decided to finish it today. Hopefully, it will inspire others to create. He told me he actually filled a large order for a school.
  23. 2 likes
    Question: What is your strongest psychic (ESP -Extrasensory perception) ability? Would you, Could you and/or Do you use it for economic gain? Note: Below are general definitions from Merriam-Webster - not necessarily accurate but provided for discussion. Feel free to expand. intuition - (M-W) a quick and ready insight telepathy - (M-W) communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means psychometry - (M-W) divination of facts concerning an object or its owner through contact with or proximity to the object clairaudience -, (M-W) the power or faculty of hearing something not present to the ear but regarded as having objective reality clairvoyance - (M-W) the power or faculty of discerning objects not present to the senses precognition - (M-W) clairvoyance relating to an event or state not yet experienced or retrocognition - (M-W) direct or extrasensory perception of past events ? My strongest psychic ability is Clairvoyance. I can read, feel, hear energy involving living things ... I've used it for financial gain as it relates to gaining the upper hand for securing employment position. For some reason, it hasn't worked in winning the lottery...although I wish it would. But I mostly use it to "read" people or help them.
  24. 2 likes
    @Mel. Your conclusions are very deep. There is also a quantum physics principle that something can be in 2 places at the same time and - this has some implications about the illusions of the past, present, and the future. Maybe?.
  25. 2 likes
    Del, maybe if those closest to me, family and friends, people who are not part of the publishing industry saw it that way--or at least told me they did; maybe it would see it that way too. I guess in a way it is kinda sad that the emotional support and appreciation for what I do comes from people like you, not the folks that I'm related to or see every day Thanks man. I'm surprised you never saw the site--it sell a service very close to what you provide. I was actually familiar with the site (maybe that is why I presented with the ad, that and it is related to the page's content).
  26. 2 likes
    @Delano, Twin!!! I think logically and yes conceptually too! ..When I speak, sometimes I behave like the characters Mr. Spock/Star Trek or Dr Temperance Brennan on "Bones" - I learned how to speak "emotion" from watching others and listening to how they emotionalize their conversation. The only time I stray is when I'm speaking metaphysically but then again metaphysics is the mother of logic, so maybe not :shrugs:
  27. 2 likes
    I was married to the same man from June 1956 to June of 2006. he died from cancer a month after our 50th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately this in no way makes me an expert of marriage. My input would be to say that sometimes marriage goes through stages and either gets better or worse. And it helps if the 2 participants are mature adults, not children playing house. Back in the 1950s, getting married was something every girl wanted and expected. There was no shacking up and having babies outside of marriage was frowned upon. Even "shot gun marriages" were whispered about. i wed at 22 because that was the age all the women in my family did. My friends were all getting married and i met a guy who i had a lot in common with; who was "Mr. Alright". There were no bells and whistles or starry eyed love at first sight. But it did come at second sight. After taking the plunge, things didn't always go well due to growing pains. By the time we reached our 40s , with the kids out of the way, and money no longer a major problem, our marriage came into its own and became fun and exciting. i enjoyed and appreciated having him as a companion and a lover and somebody to go out with and have a good time, partying. i was glad we stuck it out instead of breaking up over a lot of silly things like some of my friends did. The final stage were just us trying to grow old gracefully, and i was there alone with him in the middle of the night, sitting beside his hospital bed, when he took his last breath. i squeezed his limp hand, kissed his parted lips and lost myself in a moment of silence. I had no regrets.
  28. 2 likes
    Pioneer, I gave you a personal example of my ability to know what my mom was cooking for dinner, because I sensed it in a manner that was extrasensory. For me, that is sufficient proof, but it is obviously insufficient proof for you. It would be insufficient proof for a scientist too because I doubt I could reproduce the results under controlled conditions. They would simply say that it was a coincidence or my imagination--even if it happened many times; brains are complex things. I'm sure the experiences claimed by some people are bogus--especially the charlatans who go around ripping people off. The same goes for charismatic people capable of brainwashing people to believe in comets coming for them. Of course, these bad people make it harder to the rest of us to believe in extra sensory perception. Cynqiue, I experience synchronicity as well, but I usually chalk it up to my ability to see something more easily because I've been exposed to it. Have you ever meet someone new and then you start to see them everywhere? Maybe it is like being exposed to racism and seeing it everywhere, even in photos of Viola Davis I also believe as with any human characteristic some people are "better" at ESP than others.
  29. 2 likes
    But it isn't. or you'd be a clean slate with no perspective. You only know something is offensive to you based on life experience. For example, when flying to Dubai, I wouldn't offer my left hand to any passenger unless I'd want to offend them. Or, you didn't know you were a human male as an infant or even a toddler . You began to have experiences, such as seeing similar beings that forced you to realize you weren't unique, you probably identified with those who looked like you, young or older and you began to imitate them. Then your experiences shaped your life as a boy and you grew into a man. Life experiences and instructions are how we develop our perspective, a point of view. You can be intuitive as in building on what you already know; but intuition is knowing without the benefit of experience, facts or (gasp) proof on a subject.
  30. 2 likes
    Cynique there are signs everywhere if you pay attention. My phone deletes posts and calls people. Yeah Mel and I may have been related. Shes the nicer nore diolomatic twin.
  31. 2 likes
    Cynique, I'm glad you did not delete the post too. I truly enjoyed reading it. It was riveting, poignant, profound, and revealing. Thank you.
  32. 2 likes
    @TroyWell, "natural" is sort of an ambiguous term. In the first picture, to me, Viola looks excited about something and that's a natural state. Her hair is not in its natural state, although its style is a traditional one that African American women have adopted over many years. There is no such thing as natural make-up; that's an oxymoron. So, technically, the words "make-up" and "natural" are antonyms. Red is not the natural color of any woman's lips and lipstick of that color can look garish on dark skinned black women as well as sallow skinned white ones. In the second picture, Viola's hair is natural but it has been trimmed and groomed to look neat instead of wild or wiry so it is not untouched. She is wearing lipstick, mascara, blush and eyebrow pencil, all of which are flattering to her complexion but she is, nonetheless, made-up, and not in her pristine natural state. As far as the color of her outfit, calling it an "earth-tone" is the vernacular of the fashion industry. Its color is dull brown and does nothing for her. My answer to your vague question is that Viola looks "better" in the second picture because she has been put together better. She comes out of so many bags, we have to ask "will the real Viola Davis please stand up" so we can decide how she appears when she considers herself in a natural mode. Are magazine covers an arena for racism or are they insensitive depictions of people by those who don't realize they are insulting to blacks or other minorities. If they are deliberately racist then people are free to speak out about this and even demand an apology. In regard to the cover of Lebron James, he's apparently insensitive, too, or such a dumb jock that he doesn't know he's being substituted for the giant gorilla King Kong! I guess for me,racism is such a given in this country that It becomes an afterthought. it is also a label that's too convenient to adopt in lieu of giving an in depth argument about a subject. Del makes some good points about racism in regard to this discussion
  33. 2 likes
    What is fascinating is the entire discussion centers around image or mostly. She had become a symbol and has cease to be a person. What is being said is an externalisation of internal prejudices, opinions and beliefs. That are being discussed as though they could be objective truths. It's like a Slave Auction of Black Women. Along the Black Mail Female divide. She means whatever you believe she means. But don't think you are right. Since this is an intellectualised conversation about belief. I am indifferent to the picture. Or it doesn't have the same weight or implied meaning.
  34. 2 likes
    In the first place, little of what you say is true about the relationship I have with my sons, so it's hard to put myself in the scenario you have "concocted". My 3 sons use Mother's Day and may even depend on it as an occasion to make up for their ongoing lapses, and i appreciate that. i know it sounds odd but it's like me and my kids have kinda outgrown each other. We're more like siblings. But on Mother's Day we all "make nice".
  35. 2 likes
    Some people are not pretending to be of the opposite sex, they genuinely know they are trapped in a body that does not coincide with who they really are. The profession that once diagnosed this as being a mental illness now says it is not insanity. It's a fluke of nature. And to accept this is to "live and let live".
  36. 2 likes
    I wonder, how does Ms. Davis feel about that picture. If she feels it is an accurate representation of herself then should we even be having this conversation?
  37. 2 likes
    Yes happy Mother's day to Cynique, Mel and all the mothers who post and lurk here :-)
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    @Pioneer1 You're correct. Excuses are the tools of the incompetent. I agree, we make our decisions based on the information we have, but here in America there's nothing preventing us from access to information. If one has never learned to read - there's a organization out there most likely in the poorest neighborhood to help. I'm not a high-achiever; I am well-read. I acquire so much data, I have to set aside time to process it. A high-achiever is someone who has accomplished a lot, to produce a lot for the betterment of society. For example, someone who has created a process where everyone has clean drinking water; or made it easier for us to communicate and/or share ideals, etc. I'm not that person. I follow my interests (thanks mom and dad) However, we don't live in an nanny-state for a reason. We, as a society, may capitalize off of what we believe are poor choices but we don't prevent people from doing what they want. Pharmaceuticals are heavily regulated and made illegal because Big Pharma has seized up the patents and can't make a huge profit, if "Pookie" is dispensing on the corner. FDA don't give an ish about safety... if they did "Hillbilly Heroin" (Oxycontin) wouldn't even be available by prescription. There would be a tracking system in place to make sure abusers don't go doctor-shopping to get scripts. In fact, some of the drugs on the market will kill and maim you quicker then a bad batch of smack. Our laws have nothing to do with our safety...I spent 7 years in News and when I wanted answers about laws I looked to Trade deals and followed the money trail . Soda is taxed heavily in some communities but not because of the sugar content - but rather it's a cheap way to get energy. if it doesn't grow from the ground or have eyes ...then it's nothing more than a 64 oz bottle of soda, packaged in a box. Even anything should be regulated it should be the sugar producers! Still, I believe people choose how they want to live their lives. I started smoking cigarettes after I got married , and continued smoking well after my divorce. Then one day, when I was about to do a photo shoot for my black enterprise article, something in my mind said "you don't want to be known as a smoker." (now of course the article was for "Techwatch" there wasn't going to be any mention of me smoking ) I quit the day before the photo shoot. I haven't picked up a cigarette since. It was my decision. No one should be making decisions for another person. That is unbelievably arrogant. It is also arrogant to think people don't know what they're doing just because they don't fit into a construct we've built.
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    Yeah its an evocative answer along with a great story. You are also mentioning an idea that i have been working on and of Since January. Thinking intuition and imagination are the same thing. They don't feel different, it's their use that defines them. I have thought projects and think about my thinking. Since I believe that I am a non linear conceptual intuitive thinker/empath.
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    @Pioneer1 Most likely, but I don't know. He never informed me. At the least, let me know who the women are just in case they'd tried to run up on me. When I was married and my oldest daughter's father " and his wife came to visit our daughter and us; my ex had a fit. In fact, Ex was extremely jealous of my close relationship with him. My daughter's father and I were not and are not sexually involved. So I figured our marriage was closed. I was attracted to other men but I didn't act on it - if I wanted to I would've told my X-husband. It's mutual respect especially for those you love that is the foundation of all relationships. In fact, those are the type of people I associate with closely. I have respect for my daughter's father's wife and she for me, I suppose. She knows I wouldn't do anything with her husband without her consent. He has actually come to visit his daughter (us) with their children and she's remained home. Thinking about now, I realize that I just deal with very mature men and women who have no time for sneaking around. Which brings me to this. It's not about negotiating; it's about informing. The consequences be what they will. No one can tell an adult what they can and can't do. Now if there's a law against adultery on the books in the state that one lives in - then no amount consent will avail. If not, however, then engaging in intimate relationships might help with one's growth.
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    @Troy , There's no echo chamber here... We are eclectic personalities bringing our homemade dishes to the party. I can stay away, and when I return there's a whole host of different topics... But one the best things about posting here is even though we all have our own things going on, I feel if I post something everyone would "get it." I don't have to struggle to be understood.
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    I did not take the "It's just books" as a put down, I just don't take the critique at face value. I write this because on every single page of the site, there is a menu says "Discussion" There is also a search box on every page which would direct anyone to the forums with a simple query. Again, finding the forms is not difficult if one put in an ounce of effort--unlesss I'm missing something. If I am please tell me. Also, the site gets at least 10 new sign ups a week, but the majority never post. This is something I really worth pursuing... because it is worth understanding why these people don't post I just don't have the time. Still, the forums are simply not as popular as they once were. I'm sure it is a combination of several factors but I suspect the strongest factor is Facebook. Facebook plays a zero sum game. They literally want to be the only place users ever go when they go on-line. Aldso people are still reading the pages they are just not commenting. One page for example that is really popular is the one about the Best Black websites. It ranks well in search and deserves better presentation I just don't have the time to address it now, Only 1 out every 2,000 visitors to the pages leaves a comment (not counting myself). I dunno, what motivates you to post here @Mel Hopkins ?
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      who used to be a skeptical young chick. Debbie Downer. Speaking of a sly sense of humor..... I can think of SEVERAL good jokes out of that one line. But it would be neither sly nor appropriate for me to utter them.....lol. BTW, it's my pleasure to share this board with you too.
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    True, cheating, by definition, is behaving in a way that goes counter to the rules, as in the case with conventional marriage vows. Most "cheaters" I'm aware of don't make much of an effort to cover up their tracks; Bill Clinton, Anthony Weiner, etc. Reapers simply wrote cheating is "fucked up end of discussion." I wonder what she (you know Guest Reaper is a she), believes we should do with cheaters? Should we execute them? Give them a stern talking to? What? Christian ministers cheat and eternal damnation does not seem to deter them. Public humiliation did not seem to bother Bill Clinton. Losing his family, many millions of dollars, and perhaps his career did not stop Tiger Woods.
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    Cynique I assume that people want to challenge their beliefs and do original thinking. I would say your synopsis or is it analysis, is on the money. There aren't too many places where you can have a provocative dialogue. The question is not what do you think about or how do you think. But what happens while you are thinking. My initial feeling was thinking is a mysterious process. Since you don't feel anything and then the answer pops out.
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    I guess the problem in the US is that we do not practice a true form of capitalism, which is the fundamental problem. I I don't agree that capitalism is "in tune with human nature," unless you consider the exploitation of large swaths of the earth's population and the concentration of wealth into the hands of a few "human nature." People are more effective when they share resources and work together. While I agree there are many people who seek wealth, women, property and nice things as you suggest; I think most of that motivation is created because of the capitalist system. It is part of the conditioning that is required to make our brand of capitalism work. In fact, many could make a strong argument that constant consumption or the desire for it, makes us less happy. Are we happier upgrading our cell phones every two years, or buying more clothing than we can ever wear? Besides the majority of us are not benefiting from this system. I can't image that any thinking person would agree that progressing on our current trajectory is sustainable.
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    Yeah Twitter will be purchased by Facebook probably. Snapchat just IPOd so they are obviously hot, but Facebook is launching a Snapchat styled service so that IPO could become worthless. It's interesting to watch. Linkedin is actually a more valuable service as a social media channel than any of the others. The work on my site is really eye opening. The rate of growth is incredible. About 600% over the last 12 months. I'm adding 1500-2000 Unique Visits per month and people are starting to comment on the site. I have more stories to tell about Amazon as well. I quit cold turkey. I don't have any kicks up on the platform and I'm making the decision to shut it down completely, but sales on my site aren't picking up although affiliate and ad revenue are picking up. Also Amazon removes the right for me to sell a host of brands once I downgrade my account from professional. It's a catch 22. They charge 39.99 a month for having nothing on the platform, but if you downgrade they remove your right to sell shoes. With so many people shifting to Amazon for everything, leaving the platform for the next 6 months means that I lose six figures, but I'm determined to fight. For the first time in 7 years I'm applying for jobs. It's sobering. I'm also driving Lyft, lol. On April 1st Amazon will either charge me 39.99 or I will downgrade and lose the right to sell shoes. Which would mean that I would have to get invoices from every brand before being able to sell on the platform again. It's crazy. The beautiful struggle continues.
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    Much love to you brother troy. I opened my site www.theblack-board.com less than a year ago and am honored to see it mentioned in here. I can attest to a lot of the issues you bring forth in this discussion, it seems only gossip and fluff articles attract large number of views, and a large majority of Black people unfortunately seem uninterested in discussing real Black Issues. I am thinking the climate of today's culture will change this. I recently relaunched the news portion of my site and aim to focus on substantial issues and not the reality-TV obsessed content you see at any of these "black" sites. it is a uphill battle but I am prepared for it. I wish you nothing but the best, I appreciate and respect everything you are doing here.
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    Finallyfree, I'd encourage you to create an account, that will save me the effort of having to approve your comments.. You actually touch on a very important point, perhaps more important that you can appreciate. You see virtually everything that happens online is driven by money, if it is not profitable it dies. The entities with the ability to accumulate the most money wins. It does not matter it the money was accumulated fairly on a level playing field, or it the content produced provides any value to people. This has always been the case; the world wide web has just put this process on steroids. What does this have to do with Finallyfree last comment? Well providing a safe place to "discuss" is not profitable, so platforms that try to do this find it very difficult to survive. Even the truth is less profitable sensational lies. Twitter I'm sure is making money hand over fist by providing a platform to disseminate Trumps lies. Fake news sites, in general, can be very profitable, so these proliferate in today.s environment. Of course I can go on and about this. But this also helps explain the nature of the content of the most heavily visited Black owned websites...
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    Troy You asked an excellent question that I've found myself asking many women over the years..especially those who claim to be irreligious. WHO told you monogamy was the "right" thing? As far as I'm concerned it's a matter of preference....choice. Most men are polygamous and prefer multiple parnters. Most women are monogamous and prefer the comfort of a secure single relationship. Harmony comes when both groups respect the desires and preferences of the other and work along those lines. The above book was clearly aimed at women because most men aren't waiting on "Ms Right". Ms Right for them is whoever they find attractive and is willing to sleep with them. It's a shame so many young women are being indoctinated into holding out for some mythical "knight in shining armor" who doesn't exist. I blame Hollywood for this and the fantastic (in the truest definition) standards it seems to set for so many young women. But concerning that book.... It's unrealistic and down right absurd for a couple of wealthy attractive relatively young people to sit back with grins on their faces telling the average man and woman to "wait". You learn about relationships by HAVING them and the trial and error of making mistakes. Telling people to wait for the perfect mate is like telling a young driver's ed student they should wait until the weather is 70 degrees and perfect before being taught how to drive. This sounds like some foolishness they picked up from thier priveledged White friends who have so much money and so many friends they have nothing better to do than play "relationship games"...lol. Lisa Brown I know you're young and fresh to the world so I'm gonna tell you the straight up truth and you can either accept it or reject it...but it you accept it relationships will be much easier and things will make more sense. Men cheat because they like sex with multiple women and if they told you the truth they know you wouldn't sleep with them....so they lie to you. Not all men cheat or have sex with multiple women. Some men are gay, others have a low sex drive where they don't want sex as much. But MOST men do....especially those under 40. That's a biological reality and there's NOTHING wrong with it. The only thing wrong is the MISEDUCATION of most women in this society concerning male biology and psychology. You've been TAUGHT that normal is wrong or bad....so now you must be UN-TAUGHT.