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  1. 4 points
    I don't understand heterosexual males or females who are so upset about males or females who are gay. What difference does it make to you who someone loves? Also, how does a black person not see that condemnation of gays involves the same dynamic patterns as racism? It never made sense to me. My brotherfriend, Alan, is gone now, but I miss him every day. He would have been another male in our son's life-- joining my life partner, my life partner's brother, and another gay brotherfriend--who was a sterling example of a kind, loving, intelligent African American man. Alan, a gay black man, was a director/actor/writer who was in my life for a few brief years. He encouraged me to collaborate with him on writing a play based on Ida B. Wells's autobiography. We had both read it as part of a black book club, focusing on reading books about African American History, that we had co-founded. Alan had given me comments on an early draft and was about to start writing his revisions when he contracted AIDS. He was in the first group of people to get mowed down by this disease in the '80s. He died on Christmas day at the age of 36. I stopped working on the play as I grieved his death, but I received the message that I must get back to work and finish the play. Twenty-three drafts later, I did that and dedicated the play to him. "In Pursuit of Justice: A One-Woman Play about Ida B. Wells," ultimately won four AUDELCO awards. My life was enriched by knowing Alan and having him as a friend.
  2. 4 points
    Thank you @Troy for your thoughtful words. I appreciate that we can all have slightly varying opinions yet stay respectful. I've worked with children aging out of foster care so can appreciate @Mel Hopkins work with at-risk children. I can also appreciate the wisdom and life experience of our elders and retirees such as @Cynique. And much appreciation for @Delano and "keeping it reel." Wishing you all a great day!
  3. 4 points
    @Cynique who knows maybe Nubianfellow has it point. Maybe it's the black woman's hair that is the key to black people's success.. My friends call my family the hair bear bunch because we have very long hair that grows from our roots... (see my profile pic - yep that's mine) So, maybe because we don't have weaves it allows us to communicate with directly to the Universe from which all our blessings flow you know god gave it to us for a reason. ...And it makes us super smart so we don't have ever worry about being in the bottom 20% of those poverty-stricken folks. We don't need weaves, because we love showing off our beautiful locks, because, well who doesn't love our hair. By the way loving your hair, automatically translates into us loving ourselves because hair is the major key.. And, of course we attract men who are not deadbeat dads. Because of our flowing Rapunzel-like locks we attract the men who have the most money, best character and family adhesiveness ... As for the men who feel it's ok to lie down create babies and flee the scene. Well, we all know they got that way because of some weave-wearing black woman - who didn't cheer them on when they did something you know, mediocre.... I just can't.
  4. 4 points
    Best Wishes,Respect For All The Black -Mothers,Grandmothers,Aunts, On Mothers Day..It Has Been -Said That Black Women .Are The Strength Of,The Black -Community...Extra Respect For Black Mothers Raising Children -Alone And For Black .Mothers Grieving Over their Sons --,Murdered By Nazi Terrorist Police And Street Gangs...I Think --,Cynique Is A Mother And Grandmother..A Perfect Song For -Black Mothers And Girls Is Black Pearl,By Sonny Charles -And,The Checkmates.....
  5. 4 points
    Hi there. As for me, my only reasons for not joining in on this site is that I forget. Yes, I do log into Facebook but usually to see family stuff, and I have only recently begun to "tweet". I am in the process of learning how to market my first book so I am also concentrating on getting speaking engagements and writing new articles and I blog. Yes, my publisher set me up on Amazon which I have no problem with. My book writing project was originally about inspiration, and I happen to be a Black person writing about a Black man. But I did not initially set out to specifically reach Black people. So I have become a part of the White mainstream social marketing media. And once I started trying to connect with Black book stores and what not, I became disappointed. Once I found AALBC I was delighted. But I have found that I have to remind myself that I need to engage with others on this site the same way that I do on my Blog, and on twitter. I want to have a site on AALBC separate from my blog and I intend to work at gaining a presence on AALBC by commenting on more discussions. Thanks for AALBC Troy.
  6. 3 points
    Pioneer1 I don't know where to begin, but I am only going to deal with some aspects of your argument, because I know that your mindset is so different from mine that there is no way we can do anything but agree to disagree. I see people as individuals and don't lump them into rigid groups. As a lifelong outsider, I am most interested in people who are different from me. Yes, there is usually some intersection of commonality, but I learn most from people who look at life through a different lens. As such, I tend to have friends who are also outsiders in some way. They have always been much more intriguing to me than people who spout some version of the party line. I have a hard time breathing freely around them. First, I want to say thank you for that humane paragraph about the death of my brotherfriend. You looked at him as an individual, not as an abstraction or part of a group that you have stereotyped. I'll begin at the end. I am truly disturbed by the Great Yam's policies which are gutting our social safety net and destroying what is left of the planet. But no, I am not "disturbed or repulsed" by people--whose Creator made them who they are--being who they are. I will not quote bible and verse to you because I am a spiritual person, not a religious one. But prostitutes were included in the group of people that Jesus gathered around him. "Love thy neighbor" includes the neighbor who is gay or transvestite. You do give white people a lot of credit and black people very little. Is it not possible for black men and women to decide on their own what they will and will not "condemn"? How do you condemn a person for being who s/he is anyway? It is somewhat amusing that you see the pool of heterosexual black women, assuming that you are restricting yourself to black women--and I am not saying you should--I believe that people are free to love whomever they love--as all being available to you. Black Lesbians are not the only black women who would not be available to you. Some would not see you as their type. Some don't speak your language or languages, if you are multilingual. And on and on. At any rate, unless you are looking for a harem, you are only looking for one woman. I am sure that the pool is not so depleted by the less than 10% of black women who are gay--I know that in most cultures 10% of the people are gay, but don't know the breakdown by gender or race--that would stop you from finding a life partner, if that's what you want. As far as the birth rate goes, being gay does not stop you from having children if you want them. Gays can have children either through adoption, with the help of a surrogate, or the children they had when they thought you were heterosexual. I know gay people who have children and grandchildren. Two black gay men I know, one of whom is another brotherfriend, adopted two little boys whose mother, a single parent, died. She was a relative of one of the partners. They raised those two boys--both heterosexuals, by the way--and now they are grandparents since one of the young men has a son. Not all heterosexual black women want children, can have children, or would make good parents. So the birth rate is not threatened by people being gay. As for fighting about this. I don't see anybody fighting about this except the people doing the condemning. It is not anything I see worth fighting about. Read the 19th century racists' moral justifications for slavery, read the 21st century racists' moral justifications for their bigotry. Just replace black people with homosexual and your argument is no different. As for staying neutral about black male and female gays, transvestites, bisexuals and those who are questioning, that would be a betrayal of my brotherfriend. He would stand up for me and I will proudly stand up for him. If they come for you in the morning...they will come for me in the afternoon. I feel protective of all outsiders because I am one myself. As I said, we will have to agree to disagree. But I am glad we are doing it civilly.
  7. 3 points
    @Troy , What's revealed in this book relates more to courage. In the examples you mentioned, the risk taker has already made the decision . There's nothing to fear when you're in control. For example, no one forced you to bungee jump, skydive or perform thousand of somersaults. you made the decision. But God forbid, you ended up a quadriplegic (God forbid) - now your no longer in control of your body - so how you continue through life displays your ability to be fearless/fearful. That's the book's motif - how we deal with the hand we're dealt. There are people who take those risk but crushed by the results. They display their fear in various ways that appear normal to the onlooker. It looks like self-sabotage. For example, a man who had one bad heartbreak but is now fearful to let himself be open to love is a display of fear. There are people who appear fearless but have a safety net to count on when walking the tight rope. Fear is very nuanced but both Greene and Fiddy tackle as many scenarios to make the point and arrive at the books intriguing conclusion. Even though I took a lot of notes I may want to revisit it again. (smile) You and Greene appear to agree. He said that he wants to punch folks in the face that say fear is innate. He seems to believe its a only a starting point or a fleeting emotion that anyone can overcome.
  8. 3 points
    The U.S. House of Representatives just passed their version of Senate bill which is a large tax cut bill that benefits anyone who earns more than $900,000 a year ...47 Million Americans (what's left of the middle class) are expected to be impacted ... We aren't inching towards the haves and have nots... we are there - slaves and slave masters... This documentary shows how we got there... From the dailymotion video with english subtitles " http://filmow.com/the-end-of-poverty-t71910 The End of Poverty? is a daring, thought-provoking and very timely documentary by award-winning filmmaker, Philippe Diaz, revealing that poverty is not an accident. It began with military conquest, slavery and colonization that resulted in the seizure of land, minerals and forced labor. Today, global poverty has reached new levels because of unfair debt, trade and tax policies -- in other words, wealthy countries exploiting the weaknesses of poor, developing countries. The End of Poverty? asks why today 20% of the planet's population uses 80% of its resources and consumes 30% more than the planet can regenerate? The film has been selected to over 25 international film festivals and will be released in theatres in November 2009. Directed by Philippe Diaz, produced by Cinema Libre Studio with the Robert Schalkenbach Foundation, 104mins, 2008, USA, documentary in English, Spanish, French with English Subtitles. The End of Poverty The End of Poverty"
  9. 3 points
    I Think All Are Almost All This Country's Wars Black Soldiers Have Been In. Defending This Country , While Being Deprived,Of Freedom ,,Equality And The Pursuit Of Happiness... On Veterans Day ,We Should Honor Our Own ,With Reflecting ,Memories And Prayers.. Those Living And Those Dead, ...
  10. 3 points
    @ Antonio, you aren't the first newbie to react the way you did to the tone of this forum. They all seemed a little shell-shocked, and soon faded away. i like how you handled it. Hang in here. We can all learn from each other. My grandchildren are all millennials, and we are rarely on the same page. I think it's because everything new to them is old to me and i've become jaded. My screen name is a derived from the word "cynic". Over time, i have gravitated toward being an iconoclast and in discussions, i frequently take on the contrarian role which requires people i am debating with to examine and defend their beliefs. And this is beneficial to both me and them because we can both learn something. As an aspiring writer you should always be seeking truth and authenticity.
  11. 3 points
    @Pioneer1 You are giving the Babyboomers credit for what my generation, the Depression Babies, accomplished. At the height of the civil rights movement and barrier breaking during the mid 1950s and all through the 60s, Babyboomers were children. We passed the torch to the Babyboomers who barely kept it burning.
  12. 3 points
    You know I have no idea what Krispy Kream Jelly Beans are. Are they like really small donut holes?
  13. 3 points
    @Pioneer1, I'm completely unfamiliar with the notion that large communities of poor white people want to be poor Anecdotally, one of the most common conversations I overhear, when in Florida, is white people talking about how hard they work. I was at a book fair the Ft Myers and witnessed a popcorn vendor talking to an ice cream vendor next to her, saying that this was just a part time job. She explained that she had another job and was working 7 days a week. The ice cream vendor was working three part time jobs and was looking for full time work. Neither appeared to be racist. The popcorn lady provided me with friendly service. Of course there are white racists who are poor, but I doubt either group wants to be poor. I believe being racist is a consequence of poverty due to lack of education and scapegoated promoted by manipulative plutocrats like 45. Of course there are middle class racist, but they are probably only one or two generations out of poverty and there are rich racists--who truly believe they are genetically superior, but they are just stupid. Some people understand intuitively, or through life experience, that racism is a flawed belief system. Anyone with a decent education should know this as well. Unfortunately given the state of our education system and our habit of consuming information through social media memes, both poverty and the racism it breeds will probably grow.
  14. 3 points
    I could see why you may feel like a "bitter Black woman lacking compassion," but I don't see it that way. If you were totally devoid of compassion you would not have bothered sharing your thoughts. Rather I think that you are a mature human being telling her truth. I'd be willing to bet that most people don't care about the things you mentioned. We are bombarded with so much it is hard to care about any--at least not until it effects you and then it is usually too late... I trust that at some point we will put our focus more on what people your age have to say @Cyniquerather than the twenty-somethings, and dysfunctional older people, who get all the media's attention. Maybe in that world people your age would feel more invested in what happens after they are gone and everyone else would benefit as a result. While most of the people who read what you write will not acknowledge it, you do have an audience who benefits from your thoughts. Hopefully you won't become too bitter to sharing them here.
  15. 3 points
    @Troy I agree. And it's time for more people to do the heavy lifting. I honestly thought at my age (49) I'd never see as many white americans fight as vigorously and publicly against racism and intolerance. Certainly never thought I'd see a black president. So there's progress being made, for sure. But it has always about race. I'm reminded of that everyday. I can't help folks with their racism and don't think it's my job.
  16. 3 points
    @Cynique I know you have seen so much. My respects to your strength and resilience ma'am.
  17. 3 points
    Hello all. Not sure where to post a general greeting so I'm just getting in where I fit in. I've had an account since last year and had intentions of joining the party then but got sidetracked by the fascination/horror of the election season. I also was in the process of preparing to exit the restaurant business of which I've been involved with for many years. I'm happy to talk about that and whatever else. Just don't ask me to cook. (Although I make potato salad you can trust.) Congratulations on a great community and I look forward to participating.
  18. 3 points
    POWER! "It's wrong to do it in the streets, It's wrong to do it in a tweet, You cannot do it on the field .. You cannot do it if you've kneeled. And don't do it if you're rich, You ungrateful sonofabitch. Because there's one things that's a fact. You cannot protest if you're black" =
  19. 3 points
    No redeeming value in Cardi B's ode to herself, braggin' 'bout bling bought with tainted wealth, lookin for validation and hoping to impress, unable to conceal what caused her distress in the past life vows of a determined gonna-be filled with the dreams of a strivin wanna-be. No matter how much she repeats her chant, her hollow victory is a pathetic rant, a yearning to be crowed by fame when all that awaits is her turn in a game where playas win at being lame.
  20. 3 points
    Start where you are. You can have degree a skill or can hustle. You can play ib the game or make your own. Shore up your weaknesses or play to your strength. Or you can complain about the game and blame (fill in the blank) for failure. Black America has GDP that rivals many nations. But we own little because we are culture whores. Who sell our own inheritance for a bowl of stew. I have been lucky to attend good schools. And was fortunate to do jobs that allowed me to travel and have a 300 book library. Instead of watching TV i read widely. Words are warming but what's you're plan or where will you be in five to ten years. You have success stories here. Two entrepreneurs and two writers.
  21. 3 points
    @Cynique happy birthday! You have been a gift to so many. I'm grateful for every minute you spend with us. If I make it to Chitown for Third World Press' 50 anniversary maybe we can connect. When you look uy at the solar eclipse on Monday know that I'll be thinking about you :-) Here is to many more birthdays.
  22. 3 points
    Lovely prose, @Mel Hopkins and thank you. your posts as you know I like to read, very informative.
  23. 3 points
    Cynique, the operative word in your last post was "anecdote." Pioneer has a bad habit of taking his personal experiences and extending them to the broader community, indeed it is the way he sees the world. But this is natural, for anecdotes, especially personal ones, are very powerful. If is a good thing Pioneer is open to being in a place where his world view is rejected by others with different beliefs, experiences, and even facts. I respect him for that. @Pioneer1, you have so profoundly mischaracterized what I believe it would be too strenuous to refute what you wrote. I'll just let my previously expressed words do that. I will say however, that @Cynique and @Mel Hopkins's presence here is a prime example of Black women supporting a Black man. You see they, like you, could easily abandon AALBC.com and engage exclusively on the corporate owned social media platforms. This forum only exists because of folks like you. Now I could very easily complain about all the Black women, writers in particular, who benefit directly (read: financially) from the existence and efforts of AALBC.com, but do nothing to support the website. This of course would feed into your narrative and is actually supported by 20 years of my experience and data. Here's the thing, even though I have experience with supporting hundreds of Black women authors over a 20 year period, my experience is still an anecdote. I have absolutely no problem saying that Black female writers, for the most part do not support the website as much as I think they should (IMHO), but it would be wrong for me to use this experience to say that Black women do not support Black men in general. Do you see my point? Further, I also understand way Black female writers do not support the site as much as they should. Part of the reason is that don't know how to do it and why it matters. I also understand the pull of social media. it is so strong many writers have abandoned their own websites in favor of social media. Many Black women are struggling, like me, and don't really have the resources/time/energy to extend to others beyond themselves or their families. Of course there are some Black women who hate to see a Brother succeed and withhold support because they want an AALBC.com to fail, but these women are so small a factor they are not worth considering. That said, I think the letter was an overreaction and ill conceived. Using their reasoning each chapter could easily craft a letter warning travelers to avoid most of Florida, Chicago, New York City, Baltimore, Detroit, New Orleans, Philadelphia, the entire state of Mississippi, etc. I've been to Missouri a few times, mostly for conventions, and once for a family reunion. The have nice library and ball park, but again, I have no trouble avoiding the state--especially if a Black institution says it is not safe. Besides who says they are not ready to fight in Missouri? I'll disparage the letter, but I'm not willing to trash the Black male population of a state because I don't have enough information and I won't judge it on one letter from the NAACP.
  24. 3 points
    Back in the early 2000s when I was researching for my first novel - Graham Hancock's findings turned up a lot in my search on both the internet and in books. This dude is relentless, I see. He is not letting it go. In fact, his reporting pointed me to the "Kebra Nagast" (glory of kings) and that led to more information available in Ethiopia and Eritrea about the underground churches and the fact that it was the birthplace of Christianity... Thank you for sharing this - I remember how proud I was to learn all this about African continent...and it took me on an odyssey (both inside my novel and outside) to learn a lot more about our knowledge of electricity et al ...in fact the protagonist in my book intimates that she went to a technology high school because of her ancestors.
  25. 3 points
    A recent post about a book on Black Unity prompted this question. Here is the setup for the question: One of the most significant changes I've made to AALBC.com is that I've designed the site so that I can send readers to any site to purchase a book. Right now, by default, I send readers to Abe Books, Amazon, Books-A-Million, BarensandNoble.com, and Indiebound (a consortium of independent booksellers). I even provide a link to one's local library. I also direct readers other Black owned booksellers; right now, for example, MahoganyBooks is running a sale on Kimberla Lawson Roby's new book, Sin of a Woman. For some publishers, I send readers to the publisher's website. Check out any of "Buy" links for the books published by Black Classic Press, or Just Us Books. Of course, it should be obvious by now that I can also sell books directly. Well, the way it would work is that I would collect payment and have the book shipped directly from the distributor. The problem is that people only buy from Amazon. Sure, some people buy from B&N link but the numbers of B&N sales are so small--I don't even factor those sales into my bestsellers list. and no one by from the other retailers I link to...not a single person ever. Now if you thnk this is only because Amazon has the best prices--think again. Amazon does not aways offer best prices (always price shop). I've offered a popular book for sale directly, that was autographed and priced LOWER than Amazon. Amazon did not have autographed copied and I beat them on price., but still people still bought the books from Amazon! This was before Amazon offered their Prime service, so getting sales away from Amazon is today is exceedingly difficult. The result is that Black owned booksellers, both online and in physical world must fight against Amazon's dominance. I'm afraid we are losing the battle. But it is not a battle we can wage alone. Readers must join us in the fight. I argue it is a fight we must wage because what we have gained in terms of low prices and same day shipping does not make up for what we will lose. Keep in mind, there is also no guarantee that Amazon will continue selling books at a loss once all of their competition has been eliminated or marginalized into obscurity. What is the benefit of an Indie bookseller? The personalized service, curated selection, and passion for books offered by independent booksellers simply can‘t be replicated by an algorithm. Someone who knows you, understands your culture, maybe even your financial position is not available at Amazon.com. I've actually sold books to people on credit--told to send me the money when they got it, because I knew the book I was giving them was something they needed. I took their word they would pay me. Of course, I've given away countless number books too--thought I probably should be selling more of these. I visit books store all over the country. As a bookseller, I'm always amazed to discover a writer or book I was previously unfamiliar with. These books are simply undiscoverable on Amazon, their algorithms don't work that way. Amazon is designed to extract as much money from you as possible. In business school well called that "maximizing shareholder wealth." Independent booksellers are mission driven and have a passion for what they do. Mine is celebrating Black culture. We are also keenly interested in helping you to be as entertained, enriched, and informed from the books we recommend. As a bookseller, my biggest joy is not how much money I make off the reader, but hearing from them how much they enjoyed a book I turned them on to. Readers typically value this service, but I don't they truly appreciate how close we are to losing it Today we have far fewer bookstores and websites than we did 10 years ago. Many of the ones that remain are struggling. Even AALBC.com is in a constant state of fighting for survival. As a result, my ability to sell books and maintain this website is greatly constrained. Obviously, the services provided by indie booksellers don‘t come without a cost. But unlike Amazon, we are not bolstered by Wall Street investors who don't mind us selling books at a loss to gain market share. We must actually generate a profit from the sale of books, collect sales taxes, and do all the other thing you'd expect business to do. It is not unrealistic to envision a time, in the near future, that Amazon will be the only place to buy a book written by a Black person. We already know B&N shelves are not overflowing with books written by Black writers. Many people simply do live near a Black bookstore (there are less than 80 Black owned bookstores in the US). If Amazon owns Black book sales we will not be exposed to the best books; We'll be exposed to the books that make the most money for Amazon. Perhaps it will be the books that Amazon published and are promoting, or maybe it is the book with the largest marking budget. If we allow Amazon to be the only place we can buy a Black book, we will be severely underserved, if not harmed culturally. We simply can not allow a fantastically wealthy and powerful corporation, which is solely motived by money, to control our stories, our history, our very culture. Question: If you truly value the services provided by indie booksellers Are you willing to support us by paying the full retail price, traveling to our stores, or waiting a few days it to have it delivered?
  26. 3 points
    I always try to buy directly from authors or independent book sellers. Additionally, I think part of the problem is black authors ONLY selling their books through Amazon or B&N (all the big names) with no options to sell directly through their website with the monies going directly to their bank account, no one taking a cut. Not only do authors need to sell through their websites, but readers need to buy directly from authors and independent black book sellers. If authors don't stop going to Amazon to sell their books, readers won't either. There needs to be this sort of simultaneous action that allows for the change to happen. Readers and authors are far too trusting when it comes to Amazon, which, like you pointed out, doesn't always give the best price for books.
  27. 3 points
    Happy Father's Day to all the AALBC's community fathers! I only know for sure that @Troy is a father because I've spoken with his daughter So a special Happy Father's day to you Troy! @Delano, You've mentioned you saw your children in your previous partner - therefore Happy Father's Day! I believe @CDBurns is a dad too Happy Father's Day! @harry brown, @Pioneer1 @richardmurray Sending you all Happy Father's Day too. If you're not fathers, big hugs to you on this day anyway!
  28. 3 points
    Hi everybody. Great conversation. I have some thoughts I will share when I have more time
  29. 3 points
    Wait? @Troy How did I get into this one LOL! I was doing my best to stay out of this controversial topic. But since you called my name... the last year I was proposed to by a black man was 2013... and practically every year prior to that of my adult years. Well, not while I was married. I was off the market then. But even before my divorce was final it was a white man who proposed that year. But I do know what this woman is talking about, unfortunately, and I've dated some real "good black man catches" ... In fact, one GBM couldn't make it into town but put me on his guest list for one these exclusive club here in Atlanta. He wanted me to go and enjoy myself with everything on his account. It was all arranged I just couldn't see myself going on a date alone because I knew what type of life I was setting myself up for. But that's the level he was operating on... . I've dated some trashy BM/WM/LM too. I married a white man but he was exactly what I needed in my life at the time. I needed to get over my black baby daddy who was the love of my life but our affair was far too tumultuous for my maturity level. Still, to this day, I would label him a good black man. We were just star-crossed. I've dated the UN since I was 16 years old and then my boyfriend was a bona fide Alabama white cracker and we were in love. So maybe that's why the sisters are salty - they've only dated or waited for Black Knights and for me knights come in different shades of black - from light white to dark black. I stay away from married men but like @Cynique mentioned they are an easy pick. I learned a few years ago, I'm not as open as I thought I was. I like honesty and I was hedging (I think that's the correct term) into in a polyamorous relationship when I figured out, I don't like to share men. I'm not a jealous type though I'm a serial monogamist. But chile puh-lease, don't get me started. I love the inner intensity of black men - they smolder white hot internally,and are exciting! White men burn hot externally and Latin men are just fire (too much fire to be exact and us as a couple is dangerous liaison because I have a bad temper when unleashed.) I came close to dating an Asian man but I can't remember why it didn't continue. I learned getting any of those dudes to propose means you practically must become a chameleon and morph into their ideal... I was good at that which is why I got so many proposals but from my experience black men were the most difficult to convert from single to married. I did turn a few but they were the most difficult. Maybe it's because black men are used to down home cooking and the other men aren’t. I made mashed potatoes, green beans, pork chops smothered in an onion gravy for the white guy (One I mentioned up there) he disappeared for about two-three weeks -I thought damn maybe I shouldn't have cooked for him. When he resurfaced, it was with a proposal with conditions. I had to promise to give him one son. I was like dude I have 3 daughters and there's no guarantee and I just can't take that chance. So, we ended. Most of my relationships ended when it came to the prospect of having more children or me keeping up the charade. There are very few men I know of any shade that are interested in marrying fat and out of shape women. I know some women don't like to hear that but for most of men, aesthetics matter - men like looking at and waking up to pretty...just like women like looking at and waking up to gorgeous/handsome. So, I don't know why any of us trip when it comes to looks. Anyway, what I've learned about black men is what most married women know. The BM I’ve dated don't want to be controlled or conquered they want to be won over. That's a dance within itself. The fact that those men on the panel have been married multiple times speaks to this point. Black Men want to be married (I learned that the hard way). It's been my experience that most men want to be married. So, not sure what this battle is going on between the sheets... and that woman's statistics don't match the U.S. census figures - so she may be talking about eligible single BM with a certain amount of wealth and education in comparison to women of equal stature.
  30. 3 points
    @Cynique, I'm so sorry for your loss and ours. When I read this initially, I couldn't process it right away. I got choked up. Then while revisiting my photos for the National Museum of African American History and Culture... I started to cry. We can go so many ways in this life... I don't know what's it like to be a black man in this society and for some black women, It may seem that I don't know what's it's like to be a "black woman"... but like you, we've experienced so many things and taken advantage of a lot of what life has to offer. I was drawn to you for that very reason... Prior to reading your first hand accounts, I thought I was just "lucky" ..Then I noticed the theme and pattern in your accounts that allowed me tor realize; it's not luck but choices and resourcefulness. I, like your grandson, love rap and classical music equally. I'm not surprised your grandson was intrigued by the streets..around the same age or I was a little older, I remember going to an award show with Big Daddy Kane and we went to this after party. While we getting ready to go through the door; I heard this crack and thud... Kane had cold cocked this dude and literally knocked him to the ground. Rush (Russell Simmons) who was already in the club came out and ushered us in quickly. I've entertained in my home the now deceased Professor X...Lamumba Carson... Or drag raced against a man down Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, who I later found out was very connected to the streets, rap music and cyber crime.. but I dated him for several years...(even though I had a baby daughter to consider. All this to say, that's what an upbringing that exposes you to so many different worlds will do for you...It expands the mind in ways that average folks will never understand... I can't speak for your grandson but I followed a similar path as he did and learned a lot. I can only wonder if it was a "Class" for him too. I'm so sorry he's not here to share his stories. It makes me even more committed to getting stuff down in print... because NOTHING and No day is promised to us - but every day we breath we have to experience as much as we can. Thank you Cynique, thank you so much for sharing you, with us! <3
  31. 3 points
    @Mel Hopkins You are such a cosmopolitan, versatile, bright, well-traveled, well-read, unique person who has led such a fantastic life that you are a living embodiment of all that life has to offer. it's a pleasure to know someone as interesting as you. And you are so right about the window to the world that television provided back in its heyday. There was much to be learned by watching it especially as you say, when it came to American culture. Did you ever get a chance to see any of the old Oscar Marceaux black films that were shown back in the day? They were really treasures. This is why i chide Troy from time to time about his having such contempt for TV, There is much to be gained on the way to learning a little bit about a lot of things through watching television. Nowadays if you are selective in your viewing there is still a broad spectrum to be observed on television about the world and the life and times that we live in. I was particularly piqued in your remarks about Bugs Bunny which brought to mind my oldest grandson who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was shot down in a drive by killing at age 22. He was very attracted to the street life and tried to take on the identity of homeboy from the hood something that required him to adopt an alter ego and speak Ebonics in order to impress who he wanted to be his peers. Whenever he and i talked he always spoke the way he was raised to. Anyway he was introduced to classical music via Bug Bunny cartoons when he was a little boy and came to like it as much as gangsta rap. i always think of him whenever i hear "Spring Song" by Mendelssohm.
  32. 3 points
    When in Florida, I spend hours in Barnes and Noble and Starbucks working on AALBC.com. Sometimes I use the library, but I like being able to buy a cup of coffee and something to eat without having to pack up and leave.. Plus, I can people watch in B&N and Starbucks. People are so interesting, but before I digress let me tell you about a Brother I've become friendly with over the last couple of years, Milton Bertrand. We started talking because I noticed he was sitting in the B&N at a wooden desk--that he brought into the store himself--which initially seemed crazy--who brings a desk to a bookstore?!. We started talking and he explained how his desk actually folded up into his backpack. I thought that was such a cool idea since tables can fill up during busy times in the store. I filmed him on my cell phone but never edited the video (just never got to it). Late last year, I ran into him again and this time he had an upgraded model of the desk. It was no longer made out of wood, but plastic and a light-weight metal. The desk can also be converted into an easel with the desktop doubling as a whiteboard-like writing surface. So I filmed him again and this time I even started to edit the video, but one thing led to another and I never finished editing it. Yesterday I saw him again and told him I'll get to his video, but I was saying to myself I must sound like I'm full crap. So while he never asked for a video, I'd been promising to create one, for the better part of a year, but never did it. So I decided to finish it today. Hopefully, it will inspire others to create. He told me he actually filled a large order for a school.
  33. 3 points
    IMO, racism comes in degrees and, in its benign form, is wide spread. I tend to believe all white people are racist but they are not rabid ones. Pleasant, civil, white people who think all blacks look alike are racists. Ones who think all blacks have rhythm or are good athletes are racist.. Ones who want to touch your hair are racist. Ones who tread lightly around blacks because they don't want to appear racist, are racist. These racist types mean no harm. They know racism is wrong and choose not to practice it if nothing is to be gained by doing so. And this could apply to mixed couples. A white woman who has a bi-racial daughter is racist when she looks upon her child's nappy hair as an anomaly she has to try and tame. I think Donald Trump was born a racist because he was a child of privilege and wealth, circumstances that go hand and hand with racism and he is well qualified to use racism as a tool. i even think, Bernie Sanders is racist. He is paternalistic and patronizing and thought he knew what was best for blacks. Hillary Clinton, too, but she is shrewd enough to keep her racism in check. Black people can't be racists but they can be prejudiced and when it comes to white folks, they harbor many prejudices about them.. Everybody is bigoted to some degree. But, as we all know, not everybody can empower their biases.
  34. 3 points
    @Cynique how could you possibly think I wouldn't be interested in this post. I find people irritating when they show me a side of myself. Arrogant know it alls, that are mistaken and stubborn. I'll have more to say after watch the clip. Also if it's okay with you I'll have a look at your chart. I can post here or privately. Yeah even though we haven't met you seem familiar. Also i feel some type of cosmic connection with Mel. I have had the same experience thst she said i gave her. This has happened twice. Troy feels like a younger older brother. And pioneer is a former? Ideological enemy.
  35. 3 points
    Cynique I have a few parallels with your story. I was always seeking truth. The light and the truth seemed indistinguishable or oerhaps two sides of the same coin. And now I want to embrace love but more importantly for me compassion. My phone sometimes will type phrases, call people or refuse to show me the bottom of a page
  36. 3 points
    @Delano the process of thinking? Or looking for answers? Well I guess that gives you an idea how I think.. If it's thinking to find an answer -I call myself the "obedient scribe" because I'll ask a question and the answer appears - or at least the field of what I'm thinking about gets narrower. That is productive thinking. Thinking to just think is much easier because I just listen. Depending on what level of consciousness, I'm currently residing, I can "hear" . For example, I woke up with a request - "someone" asked me to research the "styles of the decade - and so before I got out of bed I began penning some ideas on the topic. It was surreal even for me - because I have no real interest in discussing fashion but I did it anyway focusing first on the 70s, then the 60s, 80s, and 90s. I even wrote a blog post, "Styles of the Decades | Voices inside My Head" It turned out to be fun and I got a chance to use some old family photos in the post. Here's where it got weird. I got an email on Friday that informed me that on the very same day I began writing the post, Tim Gunn, Project runway, a show I've never ever seen -- gave a talk at the Library of Congress on the topic of fashions in the 70s. In fact, there's an exhibit on disco fashion "Bibliodiscotheque" at the LOC that ended on Saturday. In his taped interview, he said, (paraphrase) "before you can talk about the 70s you must first talk about the revolutionary 60s" ...those were nearly the same words I used in my blog post. All this to say, I believe thinking is a result of being open to any given channel of influence, so to speak... I intuited this concept early on, and I tend to tune into the highest frequency I can perceive. It just so happened that day I dialed to dial into the Library of Congress's frequency. Thank you for today's blog post topic. I'm using this response ...
  37. 3 points
    @Troy , There's no echo chamber here... We are eclectic personalities bringing our homemade dishes to the party. I can stay away, and when I return there's a whole host of different topics... But one the best things about posting here is even though we all have our own things going on, I feel if I post something everyone would "get it." I don't have to struggle to be understood.
  38. 3 points
    It doesn't necessarily follow that monogamy leads to a happy home life. Being polygamous is not the same as cheating. I have known and met people who have open relationships. Otn one instance the adult child was more upset than the partner. What is moral, ethical and good is another debate. I also knew a couple where the woman was a leabian. However that was more of a business situation. Plus she did use sex as a weapon. But he didn't care. I also had a coworker that said certain sex acts her partner should see a prostitute. There's what works and what works for you. They are not always the same. Interesting. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher had an open relationship. But it broke yp when he hid one his lovers. At that point he was cheating. Its not cheating if the other person knows about your lover.
  39. 3 points
    I've been thinking about how I think and I'm not sure. I will say that I am always challenged by people who confidently assert something, and my first impulse is contradict them with an alternate possibility. I am a natural polemicist and an inductive thinker, which is why I anticipate what a person who disagrees with me would say and I am thinking of how to respond to their rebuttal even as i am trying to get my ideas across. My main shortcoming is remembering something I have heard somewhere and including it in making my point without being able to back it up with references and hard facts. So this can make it easy for someone to tell me that I don't know what i'm talking about. LOL. In being a truth seeker, my perspective is always about the big picture and the overview because I think people get caught up in their own little worlds. I am also a cynical old broad who used to be a skeptical young chick. Debbie Downer. Below are my observations about the thought processes of you 3 guys, and they are observations not criticisms. They are what make you all uniquely yourselves. Del assumes you know where he is coming from and is spontaneous in his comments which are often out of context and are, therefore, confusing. He is also mercurial but this contributes to his being flexible in his positions. He seems self-aware and sensitive, a versatile thinker comfortable with both science and spirituality. Troy subconsciously uses the power of persuasion in his arguments, assuming that what is as "given" to him is a "given" to you - until you snap out of it.LOL He borders on ennobling himself because he always takes the high ground and although he sometimes takes on the role of the victim, too, he is very convincing in justifying his grievances. A great technical, resourceful mind complemented by a winning personality With Pioneer, he is very opinionated and often backs up his opinions with specious arguments that, if not necessarily factual, are at least interesting and provocative, - not to mention long-winded. A well-read, unorthodox thinker with a sly sense of humor. I enjoy sparring with all of you. You make my life more interesting because I don't get a lot of mental stimulation in my day-to-day existence that includes scrolling up and down FaceBook..
  40. 3 points
    HAPPY (belated) BIRTH DAY !!!! May God bless you to enjoy many many many more years in peace and good health. And if you're still celebrating and don't mind risking BOTH your peace and good health, well..... Here, this 40 oz is for you: ps. You should have never admitted you used to (?) drink malt liquor, I'm gonna be fucking with you about that one for a GOOD minute.....lol
  41. 3 points
    I liked the movie. And I disagree with Aries. All black people are not going to hang out with people in the hood and be "down." There are some black people I would not like to hang out with. 1). Hood people who are ignorant and have no hope. 2). Boogie black people who are not real with themselves and think they are above all other black people. I came from a rough city. There are those who referred to themselves as "niggas" and stayed where they were. And there are those who fought their way out through education and work, who would have nothing in common with the people who chose to stay "down" and to stay "niggas." Aries makes it as though all black people naturally gravitate to a rough crowd, and those in the rough crowd are the more authentic black people. I beg to differ.
  42. 3 points
    If there are an infinite number of universes, there are those who believe you can occupy any one of them--effectively changing your reality. In this universe, I'm slogging away in relative obscurity trying to uplift my people. In another, I'm in corporate America living a comfortable life, complaining with my pals about those ghetto negroes and their laziness. We choose our reality... Mel, is it possible that you did not actually die? Where you officially pronounced dead? Could it be than what you experienced were that last throes of brain activity prior to physical death? I ask not to dispute your experience (I can't do that), but to clarify what happened to you and to see how you may have addressed alternative explanations for the experience. This stuff fascinates me :-) Perhaps one reason you came back was to help AALBC.com
  43. 3 points
    @Troy astral projection is possible. I did it accidentally when i was about 17. A Princess knowledgeable in Magick schooled me. Also accidentally achieved cosmic conciousness around 19 years of age. Someone also told me this when i was in my 40's. Troy thanks again for asking the question.
  44. 3 points
    Not sure what others mean by "spirituality" because it's such a fluid term..... But when I say spirituality I'm talking about those OTHER REALMS (because I believe there are many) beyond the physical, beyond time, and beyond space. Some believe believe that even the physical realm (reality) that we're living in is also PART of the greater spiritual whole but just on a slower vibratory plane.   Troy But there are people who consider themselves spiritual, who do not believe in a human soul or spirit. I've met people who held similar seemingly contradictory beliefs, but when you really drill them on what they believe you find out a lot of what they object to are the commonly held perceptions of these subjects in Western thought. I've met people who claimed they were atheist, but after interrogating them over a few weeks I find out that it's the Western concept of "god" as an old man with a beard riding a cloud that they object to....not the idea of a Supreme Force or Forces in the universe.
  45. 3 points
    Since I have a small record label I will say this, all of the music on YouTube is protected in some way. Some channels have it up and it hasn't been removed, but the "owner" of the video does not get paid, the person who owns the publishing gets paid. YouTube doesn't pay much at all as far as streaming goes. I can give you hard examples for streaming on all streaming services. Just ask me to give it to you. If a successful artists controls their YouTube they can do very well with YT streaming. I think YT is not bad at all. Troy you talk as if you didn't put Maxell tapes in and record the Quiet Storm off of the radio. Music has always been accessible in some format. The problem now is that like Mel said the Digital Laws are flimsy and the studios are taking advantage of the loopholes. That takes us back to controlling our own platforms. At least an artist can become a YT millionaire with enough followers. There is real opportunity there and while it isn't a level playing field, a person with dedication and consistency can earn subscribers and convert those subscribers especially in music which is a more social medium than books or business info. (Which is why you and I have a hard to getting subscribers and followers on any social platform.) I guess we live in a time that is great, but difficult. There is amazing opportunity, but serious consumer ignorance. Thankfully millennials are a lot more aware of how they consume and they are becoming more responsible which is what has allowed music artists to create Patreon and which also allows Bandcamp to flourish in an environment where streaming dominates. As always thanks for all of your work on the site. As you know all of that work is about search because people will barely visit it direct and that's what we are all relying on is being discoverable.
  46. 3 points
    @Troy You are running an international Salon Here's a a first I am including a Wikipedia Link Salon (gathering) - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salon_(gathering)Proxy Highlight A salon is a gathering of people under the roof of an inspiring host, held partly to amuse one another and partly to refine the taste and increase the knowledge of the participants through conversation. These gatherings often consciously followed Horace's definition of the aims ... @Troy it is difficult to fight characaters like T Rump and the other guy. Either you try to use logic and they drown you out or you yell like they do. Neither is a winning strategy. Or you do what you have been doing. Keep in people's ear. Get people to think beyond their emotional response to every situation. You have literally thousand of people listening. They may not respond for any number of reasons, but they are intersted. They are the elite that I am referring to, people who think or even better ask questions. Babershops are great places to be warm by lots of words, great wordplay some rhetoric but how ofetn is it provocative or evocative. BTW that Mollusk scene in Barbershop was brillaint. Troy you have no competition. You will see yu influence and effectiveness when one of your members is Celebrated. Or when a Celebrity plugs your site. I reckon in 10 - 15 years.
  47. 3 points
    Pioneer there is so much information available, in books currently in print today (many showcased on this website. Enough to keep on busy for several lifetimes, but the fact of the matter is this stuff is not going to be covered in school--ever. The role of schools is not to educate people. You know that right? We celebrate Columbus while completely ignoring all the people who were already here... how sick is that? The other problem is that history is really is not that interesting to most people. The history of Black women in science is even less interesting. To the movie's credit, the fictionalized version of history made the story compelling by throwing in Taraji's 'tude, Mahershala's sex appeal, and a few white boy saviors and you have a formula for mass appeal. The movie had nothing to do with teaching us anything. It was about entertainment, which sadly has become the replacement for education.
  48. 3 points
    Well, no need for conjecture, speculation, prediction or ouija board consultation anymore. Trump is the POTUS and there is nothing you can do about it. I won't launch into the rank and file diatribes and rants about his win. But I will say this -America deserves what it voted for. I will not comment about the events that have taken place over the past weeks. They speak for themselves. Half of eligible American voters refused to partake in this past election. That says something. For millions, it was too much of an inconvenience, indifference, apathy or because I don't like either one of the candidates. Fine. This man did not have to win if everyone voted. They left it in the hands of the electoral college. For that, like James Baldwin's book title, "The Price of the Ticket", the future of America in the next four years speaks for itself.....
  49. 3 points
    Is magick the same as mysticism? Some of those who've studied Christianity have concluded that the miracles attributed to Jesus were the work of a Mystic and that's what he was, rather than what the bible declared him to be. The mind-over-matter meta-physical concept is something I consider a form of magick and if you can just get in synch with certain forces, this dynamic can work. I have been fascinated by this subject for years. And at one time experimented with "pyramid power", meditating inside of a collapsible one which could be purchased during the new age craze back in the 1960s. This was a relaxing, mind-expanding experience which could've been brought on by the magnetic rearrangement of molecules, the pyramid shape was supposed to bring about. With the exception of one blood pressure pill, I have currently discontinued all of the medications routinely prescribed to me because the annoying side effects and questionable benefits were "cures" worse than the ailment. I have, instead, replaced these pills with natural holistic remedies which I feel have worked for me as well as pharmaceuticals. I also practice auto-suggestion, planting in my subconscious mind before I go to sleep at night, instructions for my body to cure any existing diseases on its own. I have had some encouraging success with all of these alternatives. However, I probably would be more diligent and conventional where my health is concerned if I was younger. But now, I just call my own shots and go with the flow. I also have a theory that prayer is a form of magick. It's energizing a wish, and when it works, this has nothing to do with religion, but more to do with exercising the inner power that has been shared with us by the greatest magician of all: our Creator and the Master of the Universe...
  50. 3 points
    Well, our fearless leader has been inaugurated much to the satisfaction of all the Evangelicals whose prayers for a Trump victory won out over those praying for a qualified leader and are now praying that the tyrant they were against, will miraculously become a savior they'll be for. Sharing this sentiment are the many others who are simply resigned to accepting defeat. The undertones of Trump's inaugural speech were "it's my way or the highway" - obviously his formula for making America great again. And if a Cabinet made up bigots, clueless amateurs, corporate millionaires and Russian puppets is any indication of what Trump considers "great", then this nation is at risk of collapsing under the weight of its "greatness". The only people more pathetic than the "forgotten" crybabies conned into thinking they'll be better off with Trump, are the "deer-in-the-headlights" Democrats, lost in the shuffle. Thomas Jefferson once said :“I hold that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.” Carl Schurz another statesman, later said : "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right." Malcolm X declared: "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Barak Obama spoke about the "the audacity of hope." To all my sisters out there demonstrating for justice and equality, this 83-year-old retread from the 1960s says "right on!"
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