Cynique

@Del StrachenVenus is now visible in the southeastern sky on clear nights. I will take your suggestion in regard to feeling it. I go out every evening around 12:AM for about 20 minutes to star gaze, weather permitting. My cat is waiting for me, and she circles me, rubbing against my legs as I stand there. She is probably in tune with the Universe.

What "you would say", doesn't make it so. And the fact that blacks have "less power in this nation" does mean that it's not ours. You can't erase reality with platitudes of the wishful thinking variety and replace it with illusions. The author of this post implores blacks to continue the 400 year struggle, and that struggle involves acquiring the kind of power that Donald Trump's immigrant father amassed in one generation. And Trump, for all of his despicable depravity, commands more power than Oprah Winfrey and Robert Johnson - and Barack Obama, 3 of America's black step children. It may be a fact that Dr. Wesley Muhammad claimed this, but "according to some" is a precursor to hearsay not "fact". All my life, starting with the assassination of JFK, conspiracy theories have saturated America, and not one has ever been proven to be conclusively true.

Do you think blacks should get the covid vaccine or do you believe it's part if a government conspiracy to thin our ranks and control us? I'm just curious about your sentiments is regard to this issue. Anyway, I applaud your good intentions but I don't think systemic racism will ever be abolished. Nobody gives up or even shares power and America is not our country. It was not created for us nor does it return our "love". We just live here. And why should a black individual have to make a lifetime commitment to "the struggle"? How much do I owe the race that gives me so little peace of mind? Why can't I live what's left of my life on my own terms? Why am I expected to do what Jesus has neglected to do for his most loyal and devoted followers? Liberate them! At this point, the only idea I can muster up any enthusiasm for is the appearance of a miracle that would take the form of dismantling Trump and the vile right-wing conservative Republicans who support him.

@Pioneer1My use of the word "familiar" was in response to your second post, not your first "essay" about self-defense. And in the USA, baby mama-drama among the underclasses is, what it is: the unique post-slavery result of the breakdown of the family unit, - making the way things are in Africa and the Caribbean and white America beside the point. But you can drone on and on in the apparent expectation that what you re-hash will resonate enough to magically produce reform. I, however, having gotten my personal observations off my chest, will move on. i have more interesting ways to tempt insanity.

I ventured out in the drizzle and, as expected, the sky was too clouded to see any stars or planets. No. The closest i can come to your scenarios is that my mother died when i was 23. This was in October of 1956. In September 2001 my sister died and left me some money, but she lived close by and no travel was involved.

@Pioneer1You offer a familiar deconstruction of America's black crises So what else is new? A critical thinker might point out that identifying the same problem over and over and expecting a different result is insanity. One thing you and I can probably agree on is that all back people are not criminals. What, then, is it that distinguishes law-abiders from the law-breakers? Why does the same scathing racism that melts tar, make coal hard? What can be said that hasn't already been spewed, dating back to the 1960s. Continuing to blame the Government is letting black folks off the the hook. It's time to build on the idea that only they, themselves, can cure what ails their race. For starters take an objective look at the sub-culture that dictates the bodacious lifestyle of the black underclass. When it comes to finger-pointing, spare me all the cliches about the news media. Blame social media for all the drama it ignites on the violent streets of the ghetto. Make a connection between the baby\mama-baby\daddy dynamic and the cannon and the fodder of neglected kids who grow up to embrace gang membership. In bullet-riddled Chi-town the black Chief of police and the black female mayor continue to complain about too many suspects and repeat offenders being released back into Society to commit more crimes. Meanwhile, the black Cook County States attorney prates about the criminal justice system being too hard on blacks when it comes to setting bail. Who's really more on point? This is 2021. Time for new political strategies too. Making martyrs out of petty crooks passing counterfeit 20-dollar bills is a temporary fix. The old "preaching-to-the-choir", bleeding heart scenarios are played out. if we want to keep the Retrumpicans from reclaiming the Senate and the Presidency we need to move toward the pragmatic middle and stop bitchin' about not being able to replace white supremacy with black superiority. Unfortunately, being "woke" doesn't win elections in an America that is not yet ready for a total make-over. I'm done .

@Pioneer1I beg to differ with your take on the crime wave in Chicago . The suggestion that the figures of the rampant shootings and killings could be elevated by the addition of regular black folks defending themselves from criminals and gang members is a stretch. The children, the women, the drivers of hijacked cars, the road rage targets, the mugged pedestrians, are all innocent unarmed victims of gun-toting black and brown felons and gang bangers. Characterizing respectable citizens as "vigilantes" and blaming them for contributing to the skyrocketing crime rate is disingenuous. The only retaliation shootings going on are between gang rivals. And the implication that the media is treating the criminals unfairly by ignoring white-on-white crime is a tired lame rationale. The fact of the matter is that these daily drive-bys and robberies are not occurring in the city's white residential neighborhoods. Plus what white people do to each other shouldn't be a priority of black folks. It's not as if 2 wrongs make a right. And the only mental illness most of these thugs are afflicted with are anti-social disorders which are the side effects and end result of poor parenting. BTW, is there another media besides the much maligned "mainstream" media? What is the alternative news source? The daily interviews of black community and religious leaders and grieving families that are regularly broadcast on Chicago's local TV give a very accurate picture of how fed up and frustrated ordinary law abiding blacks are. They don't want to hear excuses from apologists. or complaints about government neglect, inasmuch as the cops they villainize are an arm of the government. They just want the violence to end and for those responsible for it to be captured and punished. They've even started to scoff at the black lives matter slogan.

@DelThat's some deep shit you're talking about. You've captured time in a formula. It's said that Mathematics are the universal language. Throw in a little Astrology and maybe you're on to something! I never was good at math; it boggles my mind, as do your calculations. Language is my tool of choice. And my coping mechanism is ongoing, taking the form of an inner narrative that never stops i am constantly pondering and observing and having conversations with myself. That's my form of meditation. I am currently preoccupied with what i can only describe as "deja vu aberrations". Things from the past keep coming up mostly by way of TV when I'm watching old Movies or Specials about bygone days, and what I am watching is not exactly how things were when i watched these movies the first time they came out or witnessed or participated in what is depicted in the historical documentaries. It's like the versions i'm seeing in the present are slightly different because how I'm remembering them is from a different reality in the past. This reinforces my impression that i am shifting between multi-verses where what happens in one universe varies somewhat from what happens in another or - that what happens in one universe is totally different from what happens in another! Btw, the big city i live closest to is, - you guessed it: Chicago. And I'll welcome any opportunity to expand my awareness. i would like to feel Venus's movement because it's the planet that is mostly visible to me on summer nights and i feel close to it.

@DelanoWhat is an "astrological signature"? (your sign?) What does does the moving of planets feel like? Lately I've found myself being astounded by what astrological phenomena sun-rises and sun-sets are. They are taken for granted but they are awesome to watch, as is a super moon with a red cast. i've tried meditation but can't ever completely clear my mind because i keep telling myself that my mind is a blank when it isn't because i'm thinking about it being a blank when it isn't as evidenced by my arguing with myself... @Troy: I told off a white guy who posted that black people were not free to think for themselves because they were brainwashed by Left wing propaganda. He said i was ignorant because i replied that his idea of blacks thinking for themselves would be their parroting the right wing conservative narrative. Then i called him a troll and told him to crawl back to his headquarters and get some better talking points so he could do a better job of trying to promote the Retrumpican critical race theory. i wonder if he was banned also. @Pioneer in response to your wondering what Mel and Chevdove and my thoughts are on rape: Coming up as a young single female in the 1950s, i was a product of my era, prudish enough to not act seductive or dress provocatively because that would give guys an excuse to get out of hand! One of my weapons was my skill at ball-busting, so adept at deflating the egos of any potential takers to the point where they'd back off for fear of their performance not being adequate. This, of course, did nothing to endear me to brothas and i subsequently changed my approach, but I always felt that a female shared the responsibility to not tempt men or voluntarily put herself in a position to bring out the worst in the male animal. i was lucky that this worked for me. Obviously other women were not. They say rape is a crime of opportunity and is more about control than lust. These are traits that are only found in a certain personality types. I really don't think every man is a potential rapist. Am I wrong?

Hey Del, We can still discuss crazy things. I will start checking here on a regular basis. If i think of anything that might be of interest to you or anybody else , i will post here. I cut back on participating here and now other social media forums because this type of engagement is too frustrating to an argumentive person like me. i just got out of FaceBook jail after being blocked by them for a week because of inappropriate attacks that could be construed as bullying. Watta a crock. LOL

Morality and social protocol was not a factor in this case. Nor has Cosby been vindicated from what i understand. He got out on a legal technicality. Arrogant prosecutors put themselves in the position of violating his right to not incriminate himself. For once a law worked in favor of a black offender. Hello

Good afternoon, Everybody. Thank you all for taking the time to read what I wrote about my weird experiences and then giving me your feed back, which i found interesting and thought provoking. Before i return to this subject, let me assure you that seizing this opportunity to talk about myself on the assumption that you really give a damn about what's going on in my life is not my intent. I am simply an old lady rambling, the way old ladies tend to do and, in the course of further reviewing my peculiar experiences, i've narrowed down what i believe was the time-line of their origin. In 2008, I began experiencing dizzy spells and after consulting with a doctor and undergoing some tests, I was advised to have a heart by-pass operation because my arteries were clogged and my brain was not getting enough oxygen; hence the dizzy spells. It was during my recuperation from this operation, that I believe these psychic phenomena began to occur. Since i was widowed in 2006, i was living alone, and had gradually begun to shut myself off from the rest of the house, eventually turning what was my husband's den into a sanctuary. That's where I was introduced to the seductive comfort of a recliner. Having always been a night owl, the "wee small hours of the morning" began to find me curled up in this den, a spectator to the supernatural. When i moved in with my daughter, this sanctuary was replicated in the room I occupy at her house. By-pass surgery requires the patient being very closely-monitored while under aesthesia and this includes being hooked up to machines doing the work of your heart and your brain. Which is to say, i think my brain took on a life of its own while the cardiologist was replacing the clogged arteries of my heart, and the hallucinations I began to experience are the result of this. (It's possible that there are studies out there revealing that what i experience is not so rare among people who have undergone similar surgeries.) Another of my suspicions is that there are parallel universes and that i shift between them enabled by my re-wired brain. Who knows??? Whatever is going on, is something I have learned to live with... When i ventured out last night after a rain storm, looking up at the full moon in the cleared-up sky, i spotted Venus. It was back in its summer solstice position, twinkling at me... @Troy: I totally relate to your explanation about "nobody knowing nothing". What we call the "universe" can't be reduced to or defined in words. and can only be relegated to the "WOO" realm where the answer to every question exists, just waiting to be discerned, needing only to be channeled into human consciousness. As far as Aliens and UFOs are concerned, I have an open mind, and still am not sure I don't share DNA with beings who evolved from life forms that were transported to Earth via asteroids and comets. @Del: Lately, clocks and calendars have come to have little meaning to me because my life is now pretty much one day just merging into another, with the sun and the moon being my only guide lines, and I wouldn't dispute those who say time doesn't exist. Therefore, i can't answer your specific questions about what dates and what hours these odd things happened to me but, yes, when the tingling sensation overtakes me it does travel up my spine and spread out. I also found your references to creative brainstorms being preceded by experiences akin to LSD trips very interesting. i've heard that before. So, i am kinda hoping i will have a great revelation soon! @pioneer: If the Universe is preparing me for the hereafter, it sure is giving me a long trial period since this craziness has been going on for over 10 years. @Chevdov: Thanks for your vote of confidence! I'm done. See ya!

Hey Del, I should've known you'd be interested in hearing about my weird paranormal experiences! We always were kinda on the same wave length. So, i will share some of them with you because YOU will possibly not think i am crazy. What i would initially say about these surreal episodes is that they are what i imagine it would be like to take LSD or maybe magic mushrooms because they are, for want of a better word, "psychedelic". I have also considered that they could be side-effects of the blood pressure medication i take or - signs of early dementia, considering my advanced age. Whatever. These "post-midnight-witching-hour" interludes have been going on for about 10 years. In fact, I have mentioned them before back when my alter ego Cynique was a regular contributor to this board. But they have increased with time and fallen into a kind of pattern which i suspect might be tied in with the phases of the moon. Anyhow, the most unsettling ones are those where i see huddled shadowy dark figures in my peripheral vision when i am stretched out, relaxing on my recliner, which has become my permanent replacement for a bed because its cushiony features and adjustable positions enhance my comfort and easily induce sleep. Yes, my recliner has become my best friend and that's a story unto itself.. (Some times when i do go out and socialize with my family or the few living friends i have left, the thing that gets me through a hectic or boring gathering is the thought that my recliner is waiting to welcome me into the relief of its arms when i return home!} But, I digress. As i was saying, the shadowy figures i see out of the corner of my eye disappear when i turn to gaze directly at them, seeming to be an example of some kind of quantum theory phenomenon. These dark figures are sinister but on other occasions there are colorful animated activities going on involving people or animals or objects, all of which vanish when when i turn to check them out head on. These "hallucinations" are usually accompanied by the sound of what can be compared to birds singing. Other times i shift into a dimension where all the objects in my bedroom are vibrating as i view them with something akin to x-ray vision! For instance: looking at the photographs on top of my TV can really be scary because images are jumping out at me from their frames, appearing to be more like skulls than faces. Then, there's the world that exists behind my eyelids when i close them and instead of blank blackness, i am surrounded by an entirely different vivid environment, sometimes a beautiful garden or a lively crowd scene. Unfamiliar people also appear before me and when i reach out to touch them, they disappear. Then. there are the phantom smells, usually of food, and the recurring dreams about dead family members and friends or ones where i am always trying to find my way out of a large factory building with no exit. Frequently someone seems to be grabbing my hand or shaking my feet while I'm dozing. Lastly there's the grand finale when the recliner jolts slightly and the next thing i know a tingling sensation is creeping through out my body from my toes to my neck almost as if this mysterious recliner has morphed into a lover\incubus. What i have described here is not constant but brief sporadic incidents that happen to me on a monthly basis. More often there are nights within the walls of my bedroom when everything is perfectly normal, allowing me to watch TV or scroll through my Android smart phone (and argue with conspiracy theory nut cases or "like" other peoples' comments and memes on Face Book or watch YouTube videos...and occasionally check out this site. One would think that i would be grateful to have so many fascinating occurrences going on in my sheltered little world. But i prefer solitude and tranquility and i am weary of this out-of-sync bizarre world, feeling as though i've out-lived my time here. It's like Humanity's chickens are coming home to roost and the final result will be an implosion that will be a prelude to the end of Life as we know it. Speaking of which, i am curious as to why when i go out to gaze at the night sky, there are no stars visible anymore. Do you see any in Australia? Also my cat and my dog seem uncharacteristically drawn to me, wanting to rub up against my legs and mew and whimper and make eye contact with me. Strange. Well, ol buddy, you asked for it. And you got it! Thanks for letting me unload all of this. Verbalizing my abstract experiences has provided me with a certain degree of perspective. I'd be interested in your feedback or that of anybody else who has an explanation for my surreal experiences, other than the conclusion that i am insane.

Hello All, No, I'm not dead yet! Just happened to come across this thread because every once in a while i check out this site and VOILA! this time I see this headline. So, yes, I am alive! Well? Not so much. I'm tired and burdened with impatience over not being able to figure LIFE out. Too much for me. And the eventuality of the Cyber world is very scary. In the physical world it's like i'm suspended in a surreal supernatural limbo of para-normalcy. Like I'm shifting between 2 parallel universes. Too weird to go into.. My grandson's dog is my now my faithful companion, a mixed-breed mutt who is a canine version of me. We hang out together, both of us being too lazy to exert ourselves very much. I think he can read my mind. i look into his big soulful eyes, and i swear, it's like there's a human in there somewhere. If it wasn't for my Smart Phone and my TV i would just be a vegetable because i have no interest in pursuing wholesome senior citizen activities or in being a doting grandmother to a bunch of krazy Milllenials and GenZers. My kids are so old they, bore me, too, and FaceBook is the same ol, same ol. I haven't gotten my Covid shot yet, but will probably get around to it soon. Still take walks around the neighborhood, weather permitting, and still go out at night and commune with the Universe and confide in the Moon. Still hate right-wing Retrumpicans and all of the lies they are trying to convert into the truth. Still sick of niggas killin' each other. Chicago has become a combat zone, kids gettin' caught in gang cross fire, road rage drive-bys,car-jackings and police chases. So disheartening. I continue to be intrigued by quantum theories especially a new field of speculation called Biocentrism which proposes, among other things, that human consciousness imagined the universe into existence because unless something is seen it doesn't exist. Whatever. Trying to hang on for my 88th birthday on August 18th. After that all bets are off. Nobody asked for an update but there was this blank space here, so thought I'd fill it.

All of my sistas here have really done themselves proud in offering explanations about their approaches to interacting with other women - as well as men. Each testament was flavored with their individual personalities and provided clues to why they are so impressive. I have concluded that one difference between them and me is that i am more argumentive and when it comes to engaging with men, i like to question everything they say just to be contrary even as, on this forum, i cringed at their written responses that had little regard for being detailed-oriented or proof read, full of disjointed sentences, misspelled, omitted, improperly-used words, and incorrect punctuation, wondering if these careless lapses carried over into other areas of their lives and have anything to do with their claims of black male victimization. I am really not sure whether your parting shot was a lame attempt at humor or if you really think that i actually entertained ideas of "hooking up" with pioneer. EW. But, I understand how observers might conclude that making him my whipping boy is motivated by my having secret designs on him. He modestly interprets my "harassment" as an attraction to the "masculine energy" which he imagines he exudes. Sooo untrue. I, myself, always felt that his aura was like a drag, mired in the sticky emanations that seeped from his pompous assertions. But dream on, pioneer. As usual, what you decide upon takes on a life on its own and settles into a permanent residence in your warped mentality. Be advised that you have earned a place in my "Obnoxious People Hall of Fame". I'd also like to clear up what i think others might suspect: that i looked upon this site as my personal domain and that i jealously guarded my status here, considering all other comers a threat, and that i competed with them for Troy's attention. In response, i say: it's not like this forlorn forum is bristling with activity and broad participation and enjoys widespread recognition. On a good day, there might be 4 posters here, bickering or exchanging one-liners. I'm told there is a substantial lurker audience who, for some reason, never make themselves known and are who pioneer plays to, positive that they are in his corner, rooting him on. Does this sound like a scenario that my life would revolve around, something that would bolster my self-esteem and make my day? Not. What benefits accrue from Troy's approval? Sure, he's a great guy but my being a fixture on his discussion board enhanced or enabled me in no way. My critics got it all wrong. So, yes, Troy, remove the "Cynique" title from this site. Free me from having to see what should be Cynique's Corner instead of "Cyniques' Corner", which is how it incorrectly appears. i'm pretty much history here. "Connie" has more fun on Facebook, hangin' out with my homies, laughing at memes and arguing with a broad spectrum of strangers, Mark Zuckerberg be damned. Sure, out of curiosity, I'll be checking things out here from time to time - if you don't block me. Thanks for everything. We cool. (That goes for you too, Del.) To my girls, i love you all. It's been "real". Buh-Bye!