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  1. 3 points
    Although "illegitimate" and "bastard" may be insensitive words, they are legal terms that apply to children born out of wedlock. It's not like these words are just random labels slapped on children. They are used during courts cases involving heirs and inheritance.
  2. 3 points
    Let the church say “Amen”... @Cynique I’m so glad you posted this! Thank You! I’m beyond finished with this thread especially after reading that “let boys be boys” sentiment. OMG... I can’t believe anyone would think it’s ok to use young women jack up their lives and let them raise up “bastard” children in a religious sect -because they were the top seller of some bean pies. I Just can’t.
  3. 3 points
    Is it asking too much for women to expect men to have good character and integrity? There's no excuse for accomplished husbands choosing to let their penises supplant their brains especially since no man cherishes an accomplished wife who engages in promiscuous behavior. An extra-marital affair can be forgiven but ongoing perversion and predatory harassment are not cancelled out by public acclaim. Bill Clinton will always be condemned for his shenanigans with Monica Lewinsky, and Donald Trump for his lewd behavior in spite of both having achieved the office of the presidency; and rightfully so. Esteemed married men should be role models worthy of being emulated, not sneaky pussy-mongers. There have to be standards. And it's perfect;y legitimate for a woman to not like a renowned man who was unfaithful to her, something he would likewise resent if she cheated on him. (Anybody who criticizes such a woman is totally lacking in insight.) Unfortunately, the double standard is alive and well as ego-centric men routinely meander through life adhering to the "don't do as i do, do as i say do" code. Elijah Muhammad was an unscrupulous lecher and nothing can erase that blot from the meager contributions he made to the world-at-large. Yes, "doggish" tendencies are in a man's DNA but for a husband to have the discipline and good judgment and moral compass to rise above lust by considering its negative possibilities, is an accomplishment that truly inspires admiration. Of course, people are free to behave anyway they want, but they shouldn't demand to be respected when their indiscretions come to light.
  4. 3 points
    Discovering that Elijah Muhammad had a harem of young girls, many of whom he impregnated, was what drove Malcolm to leave the NOI and start his own sect. I personally knew a girl in my hometown who was fathered by Elijah Muhammad and was later adopted by a local minister of the Church of God and Christ, and his wife. Also, according to Malcolm's biography by Alex Haley, Malcolm was a pimp in his days before he went to prison and converted to Islam. Of course, Alex has proved to not always tell the truth in his books. Recently there have been reports that in 2010 Farrakhan became interested in Scientology and began to explore its concepts and encourage followers to study the disciplines of Dianetics in order to become coverts and learn the "auditing" procedures utilized to recruit and monitor others. i also read where Farrakhan has converted to Christianity, accepting Jesus Christ as his savior. I read about the Muslims and Dianetics in Wikipedia, which of course, draws criticism from certain people on this board. But i have always found well researched information there, and since the living people and the heirs of the dead people it profiles have an option to challenge and correct information about themselves or their works, i assume that what i read there is as good a source as any for information. As far as what i believe about black men automatically defending their women, i don't think doing so is a priority of theirs or something they do as a custom. Individual ones may do so in the course of protecting their families, the same way they would do if it came to their car or any property they valued. It's not something i dwell on. i remember a while back when one night my husband and i were awakened by a noise that made him wonder if someone was trying to break in. He immediately got up with the intention to go down stairs and see. i protested, asking him what did he think he could do? He continued out the room, saying he didn't know but would think of something when he got there. While i had my hand on the phone, i think he grabbed an object before he made it down the stairs where it proved to be a false alarm. So i guess "situational ethics" can trigger impulses. 😏
  5. 3 points
    DUH. i think your response was highly opinionated. But not the expression of a self-centered person. What i said about me being self-centered was that i thought this was how others viewed me. i don't view myself as self-centered however because i am too busy focusing on contradicting what others say. So i guess that kind of ties in with Troy said. Note that i never bother to capitalize "i" when it stands alone and this is for a reason... Once again i have a confession to make. i didn't join this thread until late because sometimes i stay on the sideline and just let others go at it, especially when it involves videos because as i've gotten older my attention span is short, and both spoken and written comments have to instantly grab me or i lose interest. So, when Del asked my opinion on black women marrying white men and Chevdove shared her thoughts on the exchange between Malcolm and Evie, i back tracked and checked things out closer, which is to say i actually watched the video. And it was, indeed, like going back in time. In 1961, i was 28 years old and immersed in the blooming civil rights struggle. This was during Martin's and Malcolm's hey day, their friendly rivalry kinda like a Michael and Prince thing; different sides of the black coin, one edgy, the other smooth. This was also when TV had really come into its own having just started to command a wide audience in the mid 1950s. So "M"&"M" were superstars, thanks to the exposure granted them by the MEDIA of TV as well as talk-radio which was also an up and coming outlet. The thing about what they were both saying back then was although it was revelatory to white people, it was familiar to blacks, and when these 2 started spreading their messages, black folks immediately identified with them. They weren't saying "Oh, Wow", they were nodding "Right On". The things Malcolm was saying about whites i had grown up hearing to my daddy say, something that was common in all black families who lived in a racist society. i never had any illusions about the guilt of whites but my particular environment also enabled me to see benefits of what Martin was saying about integration. As soon as i heard Malcolm's resonate voice on the video, telling it like it was in response to the shrill, high-pitched enunciations of Evie, the years fell away. Now, as then, i have mixed emotions, - which is what it means to be black in America...
  6. 3 points
    OH GOSH, so true!!! absolutely. Okay, so this is so complex to me, in that she is debating with Malcolm X, but I think he too, was not all that Pro-Black all of his life. We all have issues and need to work them out, but it is not easy trying to do this in America. Anyway, I don't think it is good to 'judge a book by its' cover'. We all have to contemplate how we have come to form our opinions regarding racism. So, this reminds me of something that happend to me years ago: Side Note: Years ago when my oldest child was a toddler and my younger child was an infant, I accused my husband of cheating on me with a White woman but the end result, was embarrassing for me. My next-door neighbor, a White American ‘German-type’ girl was my best friend at the time and I asked for her help in confronting my husband when he came home from work. I had checked our answering machine and ‘my heart fell through my stomach’ as I listened to what sounded like a White woman talking to my husband on the recorder. I immediately ran and knocked on my girlfriend’s door and had her come listen to the recording. She also said that it sounded like a White woman and she too, got angry. So both me and her came out into the foyer at the top of the second floor of our apartment building and waited for my husband, ‘that BLAM NEGRGO’ to get home. He climbed the stairs and then we confronted his ‘behind’. But, he paid us NO attention and he looked tired from work. He completely ‘blew us off’ as he opened the door, but we followed him down the hallway to our bedroom and we demanded that he listen to the voicemail. So, I hit the button with passion, and stood back by my girlfriend to see what he was gonna do when he saw that we busted his rass. . . . So, after he listened to the voicemail, he turned and looked at me and said, “[my nick name]”. He said, ‘Chev’, he paused; “THAT’S YOU.” OMG. My girlfriend and I looked at each other, in surprise, and then, I realized that it was me! OMG. DARN. We both grabbed each other, and slowly backed out of the room, then we ran down the hallway and out and ran into her apartment… and laughed till we cried. I had forgotten what I sounded like on recordings. My girlfriends at the HBCU always gave me a hard time about my speech pattern and I sometimes try to change it, but my siblings and cousins from Western Pennsylvania, we all sound very similar. So, the moral of this crazy experience would be for me, in that it’s not good always judge a book by it’s cover. The first impression may not be the complete person.
  7. 2 points
    https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/meet-lena-waithes-black-women-who-brunch-next-big-tv-scribes-1165252?fbclid=IwAR3rqtX1Q-YuahyoTIhgpVsByuyKg2PDPN_jUxJzqrUERYkMoCEbfHJb9vI
  8. 2 points
    So I'm watching a 3 hour interview with Walter Mosley, 'cause that's what I do for fun, and he actually shouts out AALBC.com. He even got the site's awkward acronym out (you could see it was a little tough but he did it!). At any rate, this is what we have to do to ensure the viability of our institutions; acknowledge, recommend them, and patronize them. Stay tuned...
  9. 2 points
    https://www.nytimes.com/1987/11/03/us/19-children-of-muslim-leader-battle-a-bank-for-5.7-million.html WOW This is interesting. Now, I am wondering about questions that could possibly be directed towards @Pioneer1. So now, the repercussions of the leader in his actions to have sex and father childrne from young girls is passed off onto the NOI community that supported their leader and turned a deaf ear to these relationships. So they supported their leader seemingly unconditionally OH BUT NOW, it seems that some of these supporters don't want the 'Illigitemate' children to have a reasonable compensation from their father's earning??? Why not? Why would certain NOI members dislike these offspring for expecting to have substantial support from their father's earning? Just by the mere fact that they could have endured harship from others as a result of being born from young girls should dictate that they each receive compensation for being the leader's child, IMO. So now, if the NOI community don't want the offspring of this leader to receive fair compensation for the trouble their father caused them to be exposed to due to his actions, then the community should have confronted their leader. Am I looking at this the wrong way? I wonder if I have gotten something right.
  10. 2 points
    yeah, that is too much for me. @Pioneer1 But, if that man was banging young girls and you had a young daughter, you expect me to believe that you would have no problem letting that contractor work on your house around your daughter in your absence? So, it wouldn't matter if he was banging your young daughter, --along with other young girls--just that he did a good job as a contractor working on your house?
  11. 2 points
    December is a long month for me and a short month for you.
  12. 2 points
    I no longer try to win arguments here or try to change anyone's position. I post a link and later I state my position and I ask questions. I also don't define what your position is or should be. I think our respective positions are clear. I don't have a masculine or feminine perspective. With the exception of Bill Cosby I think about an issue. I also will do a quick search about the issue. I think the Viola Davis thread is a perfect example of my approach. I wasn't any side. And I was able to answer the question that was posed by Mel. Live and learn or not. The comments have already answered this.
  13. 2 points
    No it is not that deep @Pioneer1. I can disagree and agree with anyone on this forum on any given the issue -- and change my stance given additional thought and debate. There is no hidden agenda, at least on my part. I will never debate @Delano on astrology because his knowledge far exceeds mine on the subject. I will always listen to @Cynique when she describes anything from a past that she lived and I only read about, Indeed I relish these stories and would allow ask question rather than argue with her about her experience. As far as this trivial debate about the your failure to recognize that Help and Assist are synonymous is nothing more than that - trivial. What I find surprising is that after all these years you will never change your stance on any issue -- even when you are demonstrably wrong, like now. The question you really be considering is why? Why are you so rigid? (I bet Del could guess you zodiac sign 🙂 I'm thinking you're a Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius). Why won't you take in information and use it to advance your understanding of, as in this case the English language 😉
  14. 2 points
    I think only folks over 45 will relate to this feeling. Those on the other side might wonder how there could be anything but emotional rage. Note: I’m thinking about Black Twitter raking Michelle Obama over the coals for writing bothsiderism in a passage that refers to Reverend Jeremiah Wright ... and they’re also poking at EBONY Media Operations for its POWER 100 list (advertising revenue mechanism) but not inviting Miss Flint to the “private” gala. Again, maybe Malcolm was onto something. Maybe for Black-Owned Businesses and Black Celebrity Enterprises to thrive they must move beyond the ideals of the black community.
  15. 2 points
    "You cannot enslave a mind that knows itself, that values itself, that understands itself.” ~ Wangari Maathai
  16. 2 points
    Lol! Damn @Chevdove that was a wild story. Nice opening to a book about a good, hard working man, and his loving, but nutty wife. @Cynique no (wo)man is perfect. But some are more accomplished and inspiring than others. Neither King or Malcolm were perfect or above critique. So I'm with you on that regard. I would put Obama in the same category it got to the point for me was beginning to dislike the man because so many (usually women) treated him like he was the second coming. Any critique was met with hostility. I have no problem being critical of Obama, which, for a Black person, is the very definition if being an iconoclast. I find less to be critical of King or Malcolm that I do of Obama. I tend to agree. If you read my newsletter https://madmimi.com/p/6aaf4d?fe=1&pact=1349867-148415217-8791670882-25c1d2bb2a31c65f5317d9dc825a3cdd220b508e I attempt to provide a variety of information, but I've found, over time, the content reflect what i personally feel is important. In this issue mean works that celebrate Black women activitist, who are iften marginalized in favor of the men. Thanks for the nuanced response to my reaction to your rebuttal to @Pioneer1 and @Delano's simplistic atribution of highly opinionated to your personality. To a causal oberverer we could all be called "highly opinionated" but that is crudely reductionist and does not tell your full story. Thanks for continuing to tell your story. I do too. It does not make us bad.... just human. I grew up in a segregated ghetto, I know my perspective is influenced by this experience.
  17. 2 points
    RANDOM THOUGHTS SMH. Husbands don't even understand their wives, and for a single man to broach the subject of why black women marry white men is beyond the pale; pun intended. Dispensing answers to this question is on a par with a black man explaining why white men marry black women; these are both subjects he is not qualified to speak on. Why black women marry white men is a choice that is as individual as their finger print and the reasons Pioneer provides for black women marrying white men can also apply to why they marry black men. Sheeze. Conspicuously absent from his explanations for an interracial marriage is that the couple are in love, and very revealing is his reluctance to believe they could possibly be sexually compatible. As for his other tarnished nugget of wisdom in regard to woman wanting to reform wayward men, Maya Angelou offered this sage advice years ago: "if a man shows you who he is, believe him." Pioneer's intrusion into unknown territory is an exercise that is comparable to me pontificating on a subject such as the pros and cons of circumcision. Puleeze BTW, wealth has been described as "old money" that has been inherited. So Trump is wealthy. Madonna came from an average middleclass family, but through talent and ambition she was able elevate herself to the ranks of the "noveau riche". Khalid Muhammad is like a character from central casting, selected for a sinister role for which he is perfect thanks to his appearance and manner. "This above all to thine ownself be true" has always been my mantra. I know why I'm hypercritical and argumentive, why i hate maudlin things, and the why of my love/hate relationship with males of the species. It all has to do with perfection, something i lack but crave. I also have 3 different personas and believe i am reincarnated because of certain things I've known without being told. And i also know nobody gives a damn about me revealing this because i am considered self-centered and am hiding behind a facade - which i'm not. 🙃 😵
  18. 2 points
    It seems more like something Pioneer would like or post, than you ((Looks over at Del.....stares....and shakes head))
  19. 2 points
    This is simply not true and is documented as such. When I was active on social media, I was feed so much anti-Hillary stuff, I almost did not vote for her. Cynique, it was you you talked some sense into me. The FACT is that Black voter turnout was LOWER in 2016. You can say that Facebook, and social media in general, had no impact, you are very ;ikely wrong given what we know today. So, you're saying the majority of black folks didn't vote for Hillary as the lesser of 2 evils, and then citing yourself as a reluctant black voter who did vote for her. Who, then, did the majority of black voters vote for? While keeping in mind all the black votes that weren't counted, i am saying that it doesn't matter if the black turnout was less than the previous election because the majority of those who did turn out, voted for Hillary and this was due in part to black people like you who voted for her in spite of their misgivings. In other words, you haven't made your point. And you are also implying that if social media didn't exist then the Russians couldn't have influenced the election and Hillary would've won. Pure speculation and if this conclusion is based on the vague "documentation" you refer to, then i am again underwhelmed especially if it was the finding of the analysts who previously predicted Hillary would win. Of course, I'm just expressing my take on this subject, but there are a lot of really informed smart black folks who make up the black twitter community and who could construct a strong case in support of it. What is your rationale for predicting Twitter will end with Trump's presidency?
  20. 2 points
    And there lies the rub. Black men don’t want to feel like cowards. So not wanting to feel like a coward is the reason for all the back-patting regarding random chivalrous acts? I can imagine that the alternative is hard to mentally reconcile. Mindblowing actually. But imagine if black men didn’t make it about them - and actually did the heavy lifting of protecting black women. Black men failed once and that is how many black women ended up shackled next to black men in those slaves ships. Still, I don’t believe those African men were any less courageous than black american men today. They were outsmarted and outplayed and did what they could to survive - even if was at the expense of women and children. It’s similar to the environment today - but instead of fighting, revolting and uprising - it’s more of radio silence on issues that effect the most vulnerable in the black community. When women say things such as Hopkinson in that quote, and a whole host of women share the same reality they don’t care if black men feel like cowards. In fact that is the least of their worries. Have you heard of the me-too movement? It was started by a black woman Tarana Burke in 2006 because too many black and brown working-poor women were being sexually assaulted on their jobs that they couldn’t leave. If they didn’t acquiesce to the men they would be fired and eventually homeless with their children. This is reality for a lot of black women. Don’t be confused by hollywood giving their star power to help these women. Or let’s talk about the tens of thousands of underage girls right here in American being sold into sex slavery... So let’s be clear, we are NOT talking about individual acts of kindness and chilvary...It is rare for any man to turn their back on a woman face-to-face... I went to the bank today and didn’t open one door or have a man jump in front of me -BUT that’s not point. We’re saying COLLECTIVELY, Black men aren’t covering black women. We don’t care what any othet ethnic group is or isn’t doing. - the topic black men covering black women. There has never been a march, a labor strike or movement organized by black men to stop the violence against black women or children...or a march against “welfare reform” (@Troy) that effects women and children.. or even march to make sure black women who are raising children single-handled get childcare, equal pay / raise in wages, paid time off to care for sick children or even a time off for mental health days... Black Men as a group have never even asked black women (the collective) what we need to feel protected” - So, while a man may feel stepping up to stop a black man from beating a black women - is cause for celebration, I say NO. As an actual black women who fellowships with other black women, that’s a beautiful gesture and life-saving If it prevented a mercy -hospital type assassination of a black women ER doctor. But in the grand scheme, protecting a black women has nothing to do with a man’s ego... It’s ensuring that all black men have a future.
  21. 2 points
    Actually it's not. The electorate absolutely knows why they are voting -The ignorance lies in those who believe they know why people vote they way they do...and still don't take the time to find out otherwise. I used to be like that and then I actually started listening to others - and their reasons became loud and clear. By the way those reasons are as diverse as the electorate.
  22. 2 points
    You are projecting a fantasy that doesn't match anyone's experience. How many Black Men defended the Black Women that Trump disrespected. 0.
  23. 2 points
    So you have defended Black Women that were being attacked by Black Men. We are in serous trouble.
  24. 2 points
    Could be. Both you, @Delano and @Cynique clarified there’s a difference between “support” and “defense”... It’s hard not to agree. When you mentioned Troy’s belief, that is shared by quite a few black men (putting racism before feminism), I couldn’t think of any time in history when black men haven’t suggested “there’s a time and place for black women... (whatever black women conjured up for the best for society) — by the way, the Ethiopian PM made put women in half the cabinet positions - and put in place a woman president... because he believes women are best for the country... there’s that but its not quite the same as defending women. He put women in position to defend the country. They were feminist? Rallied for equal rights for black women? Black women march against the state to save the lives of black men and boys they don’t know. That’s the difference.
  25. 2 points
    Can’t say. According to Iceberg Slim, the world is divided into hustlers and suckers 😳.
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