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Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/17/2019 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    @Pioneer1 You may be right. Black discussion forums are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. I revisited a post, not even two years old, where someone who ran a discussion forum ranked a few others. Half the forums have shut down -- including the one run by the person who made the post. Connie summed it up best she has more fun on Facebook. The part about typos on posts here, while true, is also true on facebook. That really is the bottom line. For the vast majority of social media users I observe in real life - who pass me their phone to share something funny they saw on some social site. Of course these sites are designed to highly engage folks and they work very well. Fast growing platforms like TikTok are completely driven by entertaining videos. Facebook's mobile feed attempts to mimic this but they can't... ultimately people will leave Facebook too. During the peak of this forum, I would regularly laugh out loud by something I read here, but I could also learn something. There was humourous posts, serious ones, and everything in between. Most importantly, at least to me, is that this platform is Black-owned and independent. I'm a child of the 60s, who grew up in the segregated northern ghetto of Harlem. So Black independence is a thing I find to be important. This is a sentiment that is dying along with indie Black focused and owned websites. One reason independence is important is that businesses like AALBC provides opportunities for people. The writers, editors, and others I pay are not being paid by the likes of a Mark Zuckerberg. Of course AALBC's ability to do this is adversely impacted the dominace of Google, Amazon, and social. Fortunately, individuals whether they are sponsors, site vistors, or contributors to this forum are the people who keep this site alive. If you are reading this thank YOU for helping to keep this site alive! Also, thank you on behalf of the writers whose work you support, but who will probably never fully appreciate your impact.
  2. 2 points
    @Pioneer1 life is complicated man. Often it is difficult to make sense of it. For example, I would love for the larger Black community to embrace what I do here simply because I'm a Black man against struggling against massive corporations, who intend to exploit us, to support Black culture and people here on the web. I just does not work that way. I see people on Twitter, for example retweeting and commenting on 45's nonsense. Sure they mean well but they are only helping Twitter and counterintuitively 45. I wish these very same people would retweet my posts that are actually promotes their work, or writers that they want supported. Some even advertise on the site. So it is not that they don't support, but too much of what we do with our energy and time can undermine what we do with our money. @Cynique's contributions here were prodigious. I named the forum for her (though I honestly I was a bit sadden by her using a typo on this honor as a passing swipe rather than her just letting me know). However she spends time on Facebook not once sharing any of her brilliant posts here on the platform. Why? Maybe she wanted to keep her online lives separate. It really does not matter. The bottom line is that most people do this. They easily share trivial utterances made on social media but rarely share major coverage here. They'll gladly do it when asked, but it is not automatic. Right niw I'm too busy maintaining the site to worry about a succession plan. If the last 20 years are an indicator, the next 20 will be rough. I do recognize people do not live forever. The reality is most businesses fail and the vast majoirity don't outlive their founders. Mult-gereational survival is not in AALBC's favor, but you've all given me something to think about 🙂 Thanks
  3. 2 points
    @Pioneer1 you've demonstrated your support for the site, in ways others can never know, beyond just engaging here. I would not be surpirised if @Cynique posted here again nor would I think less of her for doing so. My kids, like most people their generation, express liite interest in what I do here. That does not mean that they don't love me. It just means that they will not be taking over the site. If I were to keel over today, unfortunately, the site would die with me. Unfortunately, as Pioneer wrote, this is how we do.
  4. 2 points
    I agree somewhat with the writer who said "most Black people don't read'. I find that most people, in particular young people, only read a book when it's absolutely necessary (i.e. - if required by a teacher). I, on the other hand, am a member of a Bookclub that will be celebrating it's 25th Anniversary next year in 2020. We read all kinds of books by African-American authors and people of color, once a month. We have turnover but remain consistent with about 20 members, and I would be remiss if I didn't note that we are supported by our local library. This is where we meet and it is an open opportunity for anyone in the community, but the members tend to be older - a lot of retirees - and people who have worked as educators or in the social sciences, also for the most part black and female.
  5. 2 points
    The challenge with numbers is if applied wrongly can destroy us - since the only numbers I experiment with is in cooking - I'll leave it to the professionals and enthusiasts. Speaking of which, my oldest daughter's sister is at Harvard right now because she's some kind of math wiz... she's only 15 - I admire her - she probably knows about perfect numbers and their uses
  6. 2 points
    Numbers are integral part of science and without numbers it wouldn't be possible to conduct experiments. If numbers are created and not discovered then irs possible mathematics is built on fiction. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/great-math-mystery/
  7. 2 points
    Two and a half years, Americans were left toiling, unlawfully – like slaves. 30 months in a timeless zone of what they knew; what they were. Extracted and uprooted by the thousands, for this very purpose, to Western Texas, far from justice and away from humanity. But for now, forget the ones that survived, for some died not knowing they were free, not knowing their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren have survived their plight. Read more... http://www.mafoombay.com/juneteenth-june-19th-1865/
  8. 1 point
    Chev and Del We all appreciated Cynique's presence here, including myself. But like Troy said about the site's future....that's life. I'm sure you've had loved ones in the off-line world that have literally died.....passed away. You don't like it but life goes on and you continue to evolve because you don't have much of a choice. It's a similar concept with an "online" family or friendship. People stop posting or sites shut down for various reasons and people you've kicked it with for years disappear on you. I remember one site I had been kicking it on for 7 or 8 years and then one day the owner came on and announced he would be shutting down it in a few weeks...and I almost cried, lol. Some of them said they were going to facebook too, but I refused. I still wonder where some of the characters I used to build with are.
  9. 1 point
    Good question. I forgot exactly HOW I found this site but I was looking for some Black sites to kick it on and back in 2012 I was also running for local office at that time and wanted to get some support online. But as for now....... I like the vibe here. I think you're a good moderator because you pretty much gives people their space to say what they want and you also participate. I like being around intelligent AfroAmericans, not sites with crazy negroes cussing at and threatening eachother or swapping pornography in every other post. Not that I'm AGAINST pornography, but like I tell some cats on another site....I'm not a teenager anymore I'm a grown ass man and it'll take more than looking at a big greasy ass or pair of titties to get me going....lol. I'm at the age where I want INTELLECTUAL stimulation.
  10. 1 point
    @Pioneer1 You are absolutely right. Well, just to be sure, I certainly do NOT want you to be shamed, ridiculed, suspended or banned! I look forward to reading you! Yes, I see this too and tend to get these vibes coming from some posters, but I don't know if it is a gender issue. I think a lot of you for this! @Delano Yes, I hope you are wrong.
  11. 1 point
    I really wish I had the funding to determine the percentage of books, written by Black writers, that are sold, often exclusively, by Amazon. My conservative estimate would be at least 75%, but I would not be surprised if it were 90%. We know; By the fall of 2016, the share of online shoppers bypassing search engines and heading straight to Amazon had grown to 55 percent. Captures nearly $1 of every $2 that Americans spend online. Hosts a substantial portion of the largest websites Ships and sells products at a loss until competition is eliminated (the capital markets facilitate this, which also prevents the emergence new potentially better competition. it is Ma Bell all over again) Benefits from enormous, unnecessary, tax benefits Producers compelled to sell on Amazon resulting in lower profits, sales, and/or higher prices Will manufacture 3rd party products they sell selling well then bury the original producers products on their store Sell bootleg products The New York Times recently reported: “In Amazon’s bookstore, the unruly behavior has been widespread, aided by print-on-demand technology. Booksellers that seem to have no verifiable existence outside Amazon offer $10 books for $100 or even $1,000 on the site, raising suspicions of algorithms run wild or even money-laundering. The problem of fake reviews is so bad that the F.T.C. has already gotten involved.” Despite all of this and more people generally like Amazon. I also wish I had the time and money to explain to people Amazon's monopolies results in less profit for book sellers, publishers, and authors. Why readers see less diversity in reading material despite more books being produced than ever before and more. Nothing any individual can do alone will stop Amazon's domination In my corner of the world I am spending the time and energy to divorce myself from Amazon. It is not something I can do over night, because they are so firmly entrenched in the business of Black books -- indeed they own this business -- but I plan to do it. I have to do it. I'm also trying to help authors understand this as well, but authors are often more enamored of Amazon than the general public. Amazon poses a much larger threat the business of Black books and independent businesses than Google does.
  12. 1 point
    @Troy , I'd say yes but I don't know enough about astrology to even share an informed opinion. But CONSIDER ( etymonline : from Latin considerare "to look at closely, observe," probably literally "to observe the stars," from assimilated form of com "with, together" (see con-) + sidus (genitive sideris) "heavenly body, star, constellation" (see sidereal).Perhaps a metaphor from navigation, but more likely reflecting Roman obsession with divination by astrology.) this, astrology hails from a time of Natural Philosophy - which predates modern science. This is one of the reasons why some of the words in our language (latin) are star-based. I mentioned the scientific method didn't come into existence until the 17th century but modern humans (i.e. "Africans", kushites, Aksumites, Romans, were dabbling in Natural Philosophy long before Anglos took the "scientific" reins. So, while Astrology isn't recognized today as a hard science maybe that too has to do with politics. Aside: I did a quick search to see if anyone ever got a PhD in the field of Astrology and it appears "Patrice Guinard was awarded the first PhD in astrology in 1993 from Sorbonne University" Here's some links if anyone wants to do a deep dive http://cura.free.fr/histo.html http://www.astrology-and-science.com/p-guin2.htm
  13. 1 point
    https://www.peoplesles.org/steve-cannon/ I went to a few.
  14. 1 point
    Apparently this is "a thing" among the retarded adult set. What's a suitable punishment? I dunno, but 20 years seems a bit much. I presume she got off scot-free which is not right. I think they should cane people here in the US. Ariana should get at least 5 smacks on her butt. I bet she won't do it again.
  15. 1 point
    A couple of years ago Ariana Grande was caught licking a donut.
  16. 1 point
    ,Saw On Video,, South Carolina. A. Black. Woman. Was. Giving. A. Performance,Pretending. She. Was. The. Great. Harriet. Tubman.,Council. Of. Negro Women. Have. Black. Family,Reunions,Each. Summer. . The. Cookbook. Has 250-Recipes.. Book By Black Family Research Council....
  17. 1 point
    Nice cover. Please keep us (Word Lovers) posted on the book release.
  18. 1 point
    She got tired of the pointlessness, the fuzzy logic, typos, lack of humour, and lack of mind or spirit expanding topics.
  19. 1 point
    You're probably right. I remember during a spat on a radio program with a sista from Michigan Steve Harvey's retort was for her to enjoy a nice BROWN glass of water...and he emphasized the word brown. Despite numerous calls for him to I don't recall him ever apologizing for that snap either. What made me think that someone who is that insensitive to the attempted environmental genocide that was being inflicted upon an entire city would be burdened by emotions like shame and embarrassment?
  20. 1 point
    Troy may be inclined to agree with most of these statements (found in the title as well as the 1st post) made but I disagree with key aspects of them. 1. Perception isn't necessarily a "hallucination". Traditionally speaking, a "hallucination" is an image or sound that a person can perceive that no others around him can. If most of the people in your environment can also observe it then it's not a hallucination. 2. Perception is a PERSPECTIVE. It's a WAY OF seeing something or someone that other people can see as well. Other's may have a DIFFERENT perception than you but they and you are still observing the same thing. You're on the porch and you both SEE and HEAR a man bouncing a basket ball down the street. Another person inside the house who may not be looking outside the window at the time can HEAR him but not see him. Another person looking out the window with earplugs in their ears may SEE him bouncing the ball but don't hear it. None of you are hallucinating because you are all observing the SAME reality but from different perspectives. Now to the statement that "facts don't change minds"....... This statement isn't entirely correct. It's true for SOME MINDS and for other minds it's false. I'm not going to go into James Clear's article but I'll just focus on the statement itself. It's been my observation that one of the major reasons information offered as "facts" don't change the minds of many people is because what is being called "facts" is often just mere INFORMATION printed up up paper and presented to them by people with an agenda and that mere INFORMATION often times not only goes against their established beliefs but also against their PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND OBSERVATIONS. You can present "facts" that Americans are healthier and living longer today than they were in the past all you want, but a 70 year old man who WITNESSED an era where as a child he didn't see nearly the amount of sick people he's seeing today AND he routinely saw people who claimed to be 110 and 120 years old walking up and down the old dusty roads of his home town while the oldest person in America today is said to be only 114 -will not believe these so-called "facts" because they don't agree with his personal observations. I'm amazed at how many people insist that simply offering others data or information should be enough to just "change their minds" about life.
  21. 1 point
    You and I have different polarities . a debate is a formal discussion. and hence it can be argued that a debate is a subset of discussion. You can explain it to the other members
  22. 1 point
    @DelanoAgree! I won't acquiesce to someone's opinion. I may even add a point or two for consideration but I've returned to my old ways of NOT debating opinions either. It's actually a waste of time.
  23. 1 point
    This is not "new" news, because Amazon has providing a platform for, and profiting off, the sale of counterfeited books (indeed a variety of products) for years. It is good see this covered. In major news paper. The New York Times reports the on a publisher who purchased 34 of their own books on Amazon and found that 30 were counterfeit. Maybe someone in government will contemplate reigning in Amazon's monopoly. What Happens After Amazon’s Domination Is Complete? Its Bookstore Offers Clues https://nyti.ms/2ZIao2M
  24. 1 point
    @Pioneer1 Well, if you give her some space, then maybe she will offer some input. I love her writing style.
  25. 1 point
    @Mel Hopkins Oh yes!
  26. 1 point
    @Delano at the risk of coming across as debating an opinion, this sounds like you are erasing your identity -- the thing that makes you, you are your opinions. So what if others disagree with them from time to time and even try to help you see things their way or even try to get you to change your opinion. On a related note: there is science that suggests what people believe is a function of their genetics. In other words liberals and conservatives are born that way. There was an interesting program discussion this on my local NPR affiliate this week. If I can dig it up I will. Basically, our opinions have less to do with experience, or facts, and much more to with our genes. Having an "open mind" my be much harder than you think ;-)
  27. 1 point
    Good Day! My name is Sherabim Joy and I am requesting a book review for my first Christian novel “After The Benediction.” Any assistance you can provide is appreciated. ISBN: 978-1724978721 Publication Date: September 2018 Amazon Link: After The Benediction (After The Storm Publishing Presents) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1724978721/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FH6fDbGCJM8PF Synopsis: After the Benediction will take you on an extraordinary journey… Evangelist Jacey Joyner is loved and admired by as many people who envy her. To the untrained eye, she appears to have it all together; a beautiful family, a thriving ministry, and people to fawn over her. However, after the benediction; she struggles immensely with her own reality, to the point that she is haunted by a suicidal presence. Her refusal to forgive her father, former Bishop Jason Loftin, for his thoughtless and scandalous acts, sows grave seeds of bitterness within her that threaten to destroy her relationship with God, her family, and her ministry. Unable to continue carrying the weighty load of people’s expectations, Jacey is on the verge of simply walking away from it all. However, an ordained encounter with a spiritual eye that is capable of seeing beyond her facade and is unmoved by her title and accomplishments, confronts her with truth, love, and kindness. Will pride keep Jacey from accepting the truth about her spiritual stagnancy? Or will she have an ear to hear the voice of wisdom and instruction that will rekindle her passion for God and for ministering to his people? Thank you Sherabim Joy www.soarwithsheri.com
  28. 1 point
    If you look at the Black owned publishing companies, many are companies formed by individuals for the purpose of publishing their own books. If you click on any of the companies and see titles from only one author that is usually the case and would be the authors you are looking for. You can also look at the authors listed under Author House, Createspace, or any of the other publishing companies catering to self-publishers on our list of over 2,100 publishing companies. The books listed are in order of publication on all of these lists. @Word Lovers, if you look through these lists I'm confident you find more self published authors than you'll know what to do with :-) You'll also be able to find what you need before I get around to creating that page.
  29. 1 point
    @Pioneer1 do you remember Del's response? I don't.
  30. 1 point
    Damn, what's up with all of these one line responses for the past few days? Is it my perspective or have people totally lost the desire to even hold a discussion on a topic? Poster #1: I believe there's life on Mars Poster #2....3 days later: No, I don't agree with that ....and that's it. Nothing else to add or say. Chevdove @Chevdove is the only one I can count on to give some actual SUBSTANCE in her response. Ok Troy, I'm just venting a little.....lol. If you want to you can go ahead and erase this thread after a few people see it.
  31. 1 point
    Because I knew I'd get the response he just gave....lol. Either that or a post consisting of just a link and no other context.
  32. 1 point
    How can you miss someone who never left? She's STILL on the site monitoring what's going on here; she's just not signing in so her name doesn't appear.....lol.
  33. 1 point
    Lol! @Chevdove that sounds like. Lifetime Movie Title! Lol! She’s there for a coding program - and just for the summer. She creates software programs. But from what my daughter told me - she probably will be Harvard Bound.
  34. 1 point
    Missing you @Cynique !!!
  35. 1 point
    @Mel Hopkins WOW! Only 15 and at Harvard!? Now that is amazing!
  36. 1 point
    Hey @Char Backey would you mind if I added your book club's information to AALBC? I have another club on the site that has been together over 25 years years and I have all of their books on the site. I compile Book club information and reading lists to help readers find good books. Here is the Go On Girl! club reading list going back to 1991. They are also committed to buying their books from AALBC. I have collected information on over 700 Black book clubs and virtually all of them have female members. Most Black people in Great Britain read books. Over 80% of Brits will read a book this year. I gave a presentation in Austin this past Saturday, the Austin Black Book Festival. The founder is a sister. The volunteers were from a book club (all sistas), Folktales’ Black Women’s Literary Society Delta Sigma Theta and the Links organizations provided sponsorship and volunteers too. If it were not for the men who presented or sold books. Attendees would have been mostly female Maybe, most Black Men Don't Read. Everyone, we have an online book club here, and are trying to get more folks to participate. The club has started in 1998 the next book we are reading is Sag Harbor.
  37. 1 point
    We @richardmurray you are familiar with your story so the images have context. Without that context, at least for me, they were random, uninteresting, images.
  38. 1 point
    First let me say that my thoughts/opinions are my own. However, our Club was founded because we saw a need to help promote literacy, so I just want to be clear that I'm not speaking on behalf of the Club in this discussion. When I saw the post about Black People Don't Read, I responded as Tanisca. Please note that in the record. So, I live in an urban area, not far from the inner city, but I do research in education so my statement about the gun was not meant as an exaggeration. Also, I think we tend to want to believe all the good things about the best of us and ignore the facts about the rest of us. We know that some black people read, but we also know that many more do not. Some simply don't like to and others, as you've said, read about things that are not all that informative. But on the whole, I believe we are less read than our counterparts. As for the schools, I agree that we should compare apples to apples. Even then, though, African-Americans lag behind. (see https://nces.ed.gov/nationsreportcard/subject/publications/stt2017/pdf/2018039LA4.pdf) Admittedly, I have a lot to say about schools, so I'll try not to ramble. There should not be anything such thing as a "bad school." Think about that. What makes the school bad? The Children? The Teachers? The Administration? Policies? Here's the thing. I live in a city where all of our schools are 100 percent charter. A lot of the teachers cannot pass a battery of basic skills tests (Praxis I), yet they stand before our kids on a daily basis trying to teach them when they can hardly read themselves. And yes, the administrators who hire them do so knowing full well that they are hiring an unqualified teacher--but they cite the teacher shortage, etc. Yet, we have some charter schools here who educate the same type of kids, impoverished, inner city...but those kids do well because those schools selective admission, although they're public, and have highly qualified teachers. Same kind of kid but different school environment, so I agree with your point to an extent that schools matter, but research shows that teacher quality is the main factor in increasing a child's reading/math proficiency. And do you know what else, kids who attend those selective public charter schools are required to read a specific number of books per academic year, excluding what the curriculum already requires. So here again, we see that reading has to be forced. I have strong views about black stereotypes, so I understand, I think, why some people are quick to reject a negative truth about us. But just because it's a negative truth does not make it any less than the truth. We have a lot of work to do. Thank you for welcoming my voice and engaging me in this discourse in a professional way. I await your response.
  39. 1 point
    Hi Dak, I'm an AA science fiction author. My fiancee Quinton Veal also writes SF/Afrofuturism. Here's our site: www.vjeffersandqveal.com For just our anthology: Scierogenous: An Anthology of Erotic Science Fiction and Fantasy And my audio book: Immortal III: Stealer of Souls Hope you find something you like! 😊
  40. 1 point
    @Troy I am definitely interested and partly because I never really knew about this concept of 'a perfect number'. So it is intriguing because I do see the history of it now, But, I am trying to figure out now, what really is the importance of this subject and, if, or how it is it used in relation to other concepts. Now, that is an amazing thought!
  41. 1 point
    Blacks would have to be recognised as human by White America.
  42. 1 point
    I would say no people's ir served by celebrity worship. Its an incredible waste of resources. You are encouraging millions of children to aspire for a few thousand spots. That's why pimping and dealing is popular. You see it work in your neighbourhood
  43. 1 point
    WOW this is bad news for journalism! You really said it here;
  44. 1 point
    If I were descended from Thomas Jefferson I doubt I'd take too much pride in that fact. I would want to know, but it would not be something I celebrated. Just because my ancestor's rapist was a president of the united states makes no difference...
  45. 1 point
    If there are patterns in primes. It changes encryption. and perhaps mathematics.
  46. 1 point
    Chev Those people could PASS for White because they WERE White....lol.
  47. 1 point
    Women are not a monolith @Delano. If Megyn Kelly disagreed, not only would not care, I would be happy about it.
  48. 1 point
    @Milton that is a great deal and definitely worth it! There was a time, not too long ago, when an indie author found it very difficult to get distribution for their titles. I get most of the books I sell directly from Ingram. A long term goal I have to to either sell books directly or through indie authors directly and drop the Amazon affiliate program altogether. The challenge to achieve this goal is today many indie authors sell their books exclusively through Amazon, and the general public prefer to make their book purchases through Amazon. But I suspect this will change, over time, as everyone becomes more sophisticated about book sales and companies like Ingram step in and provide services to indie authors that are competitive with Amazon.
  49. 1 point
    I signed up for Ingram's distribution service. It's costs me $12.00 per book annually. It's been worth it for me.
  50. 1 point
    Brotha Troy, that has long been a knock against us as a collective. Strangely, it has survived for much too long. I do admit that it so convenient as I have used it on countless occasions to force home a point. Honestly, as much as I hate to admit it, but I barely read. Sure, I read snippets here and there. In this fast-paced, I have become a browser whereas I was once a fierce reader. Yet, there is a blanket exception to this rule because brrothas in the joint READ! Inside reading is fundamental. Inside, if you wants news, you have to read about it because, of all places, televised news is blase. News rarely affects prisoners so more time is spent watching sports and videos. When I was in the pen in Atlanta the first time, there were guys there that had well-stocked libraries in their cells. My crime partner and I were among the youngest there, and I was forever reading as I was hardly without a book or a magazine. The old heads noticed this and they would bring me books to the dining room where I worked. I had my own table where I read. Guys that were old enough at the time to be my father, supplied me with a mind-boggling array of books----all serious literature. I recall sitting at my table reading Freud. The next day, an old white convict gave me a book about Carl Jung. Reading the ART of War got me editions of books by Clausewitz and Otto Von Bismarck and Machiavelli. It was truly like guys would walk past my table to see what I was reading,and then they would bring me something even more in depth. And now, I barely pick up a book. That's sad. Now, we want info on the go, so we fall for fake news or second hand news or worse yet no news. Trying to keep up is so time=consuming that if you don't hear through the grapevine, it didn't happen. I conclude with an admission. Of all the things I get down on myself about is the fact that I never stopped to teach a close friend how to read. Damn, we were in prison for ten years together and I never taught him to read. I wrote all his letters for him, but I could have taught him to read. I was once chastised by another friend who told me that I was wrong for not teaching this guy this read, but I was too busy writing my books. I was so convinced that I was writing the next best novel that I was so caught up that I never taught my friend to read. It wasn't that I never thought about it. I did. I even planned to write stories about him to use to teach him to read. The sad thing, Brotha Troy, is that I knew what to do becaause on an earlier stretch in the joint, I was at a prison where they wanted to teach inmates to read, but they knew they just couldn't put anyone in charge so it was decided to use the Muslim community to spearhead the program. They knew how well respected Muslims were in the joint so they taught us so we could teach the rest of the population who didn't read. They knew the guys would trust us. We were taught what was called The Laubach Method and this is the text we taught from. I had no excuse. Just think, I blew the chance to give someone the gift of reading. Wow......I don't think I will ever live that down, but I have made up my mind. I am going to find him one day and apologize. The man was my cellmate for 10 long years and I never taught him to read, and I pray to God that I am never so selfish again in my life.
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