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Tongue Meat

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Do you like folktales/fables/parables?


"Meat of the Tongue"

Many years ago, in a land faw away, a great sultan lived in a palace with his wife. But the queen was very bored and unhappy. She would wander the pale, moping, yawning, and crying to herself, "What am I going to do? I am so bored and frustrated."

The queen began to lose weight, and her hair began to fall out. Her skin was all pimply and her eyes were bloodshot red. She was, indeed, an unhappy queen.

Now, in the village there lived a poor man whose wife was always very happy. When she worked in her garden, she would sin songs to herself and call out to her neighbors, "Hello, isn't it a beautiful day? Hope you're feeling well." The poor man's wife was a healthy, lovable, kind, and friendly woman. Her skin was nice and taut, and soft like a baby's.

Well, the sultan heard about the poor man's wife and imediately summoned him to the palace.

"Poor Man," said the sultan, "why is it that your qife is always so happy and beautiful and my queen is sad and frustrated? Tell me, poor man, what is your secret?"

"My Sultan," said the poor man, "I have no secret. I merely feed my wife meat of the tongue."

"Meat of the tongue?" whispered the sultan thoughtfully. All around, the advisors also whispered amongst themselves, "Meat of the tongue" So, the sultan summoned the butcher and told him he must sell to him, the sultan, exclusively, all the tongues of every beast in his shop. The butcher smiled and went away. The next day, he sent all the tongues of every beast in his shop to the palace. And these, the royal cook had to prepare in all manner of elegant dishes. There was tongue stew, tongue soup, fillet of tongue, tongue fricasse, barbequed tongue, and roast tongue. There was tongue pie and tongue casserole, tongue salad, and tongue under glass. And this the queen had to eat, sometimes three and four times a day. But she would not gain weight, she remained bored and frustrated, and no matter what the sultan did, he could not make his queen happy.

The sultan became angry and summoned the poor man once again. "Poor Man!! You have deceived me! For this, you must exchange wives."

So, the poor man reluctantly gave up his own wife and took the lean queen home.

As time passed, it became clear that the new queen would not thrive in the palace. She began to grieve and weep. The fine jewels and gold did not interest her. She no longer would sing out hellos, she lost weight, and no matter how hard the sultan tried, he could not satisfy his new queen. Everyone could see that the new queen was very unhappy.

But, alas, when the poor man came home, he would tell his wife of all the things he had seen and done during the day, especially the funny things. The poor man would play his kalimba, his thumb piano, and they would sing songs and laugh and talk until way in the middle of the night. The poor man's wife began to smile. She no longer lost her hair nor weight. Her skin was now taut and soft like that of a baby and she smiled to herself as she worked in her garden, remembering all of the wonderful things her n ew husband had told her the night before. The queen had become very happy.

Now, there came a time when the sultan grew tired of his new wife and summoned his old wife to return to the palace. But when he saw how beautiful she had become, and how hapy she was, the sultan asked, "Wife of mine, what has this poor man done to you?"

And she told him. And it was then he he understood "meat of the tongue."

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Anancy & Common Sense

Wance apan a time Breda Anancy mek up im mind seh im gwine callect all a de camman sense inna de wurl. Im was tinking dat he would be de smartest smaddy in de wurl ef im do dis. So Anancy traveled all ova de wurl collecting camman sense. Im go to big countries an likkle ones. Im go to primary schools and universities. Im go to govament offices and businesses. Im go people house and dem work place.

Im tek all de zillions camman sense he had collected fram around the wurl and put it a big calabash. Im tek de calabash wid im to im backyard and climbed a big gwangu tree. His plan was to store it at de tap of the tree for safety-keeping. Nobady woulda get to it but Anancy.

To mek sure it was safe Anancy tie the calabash to de front of his bady. Dis slow down im progress up de tree to a slow crawl. Im did look very clumsy a-go up de tree wid be-caw the calabash dida hamper im.

As im was slowing going up toward de top a de tree a likkle girl below called out to im. Anancy, mek you nuh tie the calabash pon you back insteada in front of yuh. It will git up de tree much fasta and ez-a.

Anancy was bex be-cah de likkle girl show im up for not thinking. She had more good sense dan him he thought. He called out to her “Mi did tink me collected all the camman sense fram all ova de wurl”

He was so angry dat im fling the calabash to the to the groung and it bust. All of the camman sense im did callect fly back to all ova de wurl.

An dat's how you and I manage to have just a likkle common sense for we-self tideh.

Jack Mandora, me tell yuh no lie!!!

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Gotta love Mama Zora Neale Hurston

"How the Brother was Called to Preach"

Aw, Ah don't pay all dese ole preachers no rabbit-foot," said Ellis Jones. "Some of 'em is all right but everybody dats up in de pulpit whoopin' and hollerin' ain't called to preach.

"They ain't no different from nobody else," added B. Moseley. They mouth is cut cross ways, ain't it? Well, long as you don't see no man wid they mouth cut up and down, you know they'll all lie jus' like de rest of us."

"Yeah; and hard work in de hot sun done called a many a man to preach," said a woman called Gold for no evident reason. "Ah heard about one man out clearin off some new ground. De sun was so hot till a grindstone melted and run off in de shade to cool off. De man was so tired till he went and sit down on a log. 'Work, work, work! Everywhere Ah go de boss say hurry, de cap'n say run. Ah got a durn good notion not to do nary one. Wisht Ah was one of dese preachers wid a whole lotta folks makin' my support for me. ' He looked back over his shoulder and seen a narrer li'l strip of shade along side of de log, so he got over dere and laid down right close up to de log in de shade and said, 'Now Lawd if you don't pick me up and chunk me on the other side of dis log, Ah know you done called me to preach.

"You know God never picked 'im up, so he went off and tot' everybody dat he was called to preach."

"There's many a one been called just lak dat," Ellis corroborated. "Ah knowed a man dat was called by a mule."

"A mule, Ellis?" said Little Ida.

"All dem b'lieve dat, stand on they head," said Little Ida.

"Yeah, a mule did call a man to Preach. Ah'11 show you how it was done, if you,stand a straightenin'."

"Now, Ellis, don't mislay de truth. Sense us into dis mule callin' business."

Ellis: "O Lawd, Ah wants to preach. Ah feel lak Ah got a message.If you don called me to preach, gimme a sign."

Just 'bout dat time he heard a voice, "Wanh, uh wanh! Go preach, go preach, go preach!

He went and tol' everybody, but look lak he never could git no big charge . All he ever got called was on some saw mill , half-pint church or some turpentine still. He knocked around lak dat for ten years and then he seen his brother. De big preacher says, "Brother, you don't look like you gittin' holt of much."

"You tellin' dat right, brother. Groceries is ain't dirtied a plate today."

"Whut's de matter? Don't you git no support from your church?"

"Yeah, Ah gits it such as it is, but Ah ain't never pastored no big church. Ah don get called to nothin' but sawmill camps and turpentine stills."

De big preacher reared back and thought a while, then he ast de other one, "is you sure you was called to preach? Maybe you ain't cut out for no preacher."

"Oh, yeah," he told him. "Ah know Ah been called to de ministry. A voice spoke and tol'me so."

"Well, seem lak if God called you He is mighty slow in puttin' yo' foot on de ladder.If Ah was you Ah'd go back and ast 'im again.

So de po' man went on back to de prayin' ground agin and got down on his knees. But there wasn't no big woods like it used to be. It has been all cleared off. He prayed and said, "Oh, Lawd, right here on dis spot ten years ago Ah ast you if Ah was called to preach and a voice tole me to go preach. Since dat time Ah been strugglin' in Yo' moral vineyard, but Ah ain't gathered no grapes. Now, if you really called me to preach Christ and Him crucified, please gimme another sign."

Sho nuff, jus' as soon as he said dat, de voice said "Wanh-uh! Go preach! Go preach! Go preach!"

De man jumped up and says, "Ah knowed Ah been called. Dat's de same voice. Dis time Ah'm goin ter ast Him where must Ah go preach."

By dat time de voice come agin and he looked 'way off and seen a mule in de plantation lot wid his head all stuck out to bray agin, and he said, "Unh hunh, youse de very son of a gun dat called me to preach befo'. "

So he went on off and got a job plowin'. Dat's whut he was called to do in de first place.


These was two bothers and 'one of 'em was a big Preacher and had good collections every Sunday. He didn't pastor nothin' but big charges. De other brother decided he wanted to preach so he went way down in de swamp behind a big plantation to de place they call de prayin' ground, and got down on his knees. ?

Armetta said, "A many one been called to de plough and they run off and got up in de pulpit. Ah wish dese mules knowed how to take a pair of plow-lines and go to de church and ketch some of 'em like they go to de lot with a bridle and ketch mules. "

Ellis: Ah knowed one preacher dat was called to preach at one of dese split-off churches. De members had done split off from a big church because they was all mean and couldn't git along wid nobody.

Dis preacher was a good man, but de congregation was so tough he couldn't make a convert in'a whole year. So he sent and invited another preacher to come and conduct a revival meeting for him. De man he ast to come was a powerful hard preacher wid a good strainin' voice. He was known to get converts.

Well, he come and preached at dis split-off for two whole weeks. De people would all turn out to church and jus' set dere and look at de man up dere strainin' his lungs out nobody would give de man no encouragement by sayin' "Amen," and not a soul bowed down.

It was a narrer church wid one winder and dat was in pulpit and de door was in de front end. Dey had a mean ole sexton wid a wooden leg. So de last night of de protracted meetin' de preacher come to church wid his grip sack in his hand and went on up in de pulpit. When he got up to preach he says, "Brother Sexton, dis bein' de last night of de meetin' Ah wants you to lock de do' and bring me de key. Ah want everybody to stay and hear whut At got to say.

De sexton brought him de key and he took his tex and went to preachin'. He preached and he reared and pitched but nobody said "Amen" and nobody bowed down. So 'way after while he stooped down and opened his suitsatchel and out wid his .44 Special. "Now," he said, "you rounders and brick-bats --yeah, you women, Ah'm talkin' you. If you ain't a whole brick, den you must be a bat and gamblers and 'leven-card layers. Ah done preached to you for two whole weeks and not one of you has said 'Amen,' and nobody has bowed down."

He thowed de gun on 'em. "And now Ah say bow down!" And they beginned to bow all over dat church.

De sexton looked at his wooden leg and figgered he couldn't bow because his leg was cut off above de knee. S ohe ast, "Me too, Elder?"

"Yeah, you too, you peg-leg son of a gun. You bow down too. "

Therefo' dat sexton bent dat wooden leg and bowed down. De preacher fired a couple of shots over they heads and stepped out de window and went on 'bout his busines

But he skeered dem people so bad till they all rushed to one side of de church tryin' to git out and carried dat church buildin' twenty-eight miles befo' they thought to turn it loose.

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