I was surprised by Never Wear Red Lipstick: 8 Lies That Stop Black Women from Succeeding in Life and Business because author Karmetria Dunham Burton, PhD, shares experiences strikingly similar to my own time in corporate America. Ironically, she encountered the same levels of undermining and betrayal in her professional journey that I did, leaving me feeling hurt, angry, frustrated, and isolated — often at the hands of other Black executive-level professionals. It felt painfully familiar and raised the unsettling question of whether this is simply part of the corporate experience for many Black women, as though disrespect from Black men and women in leadership is another obstacle one must prepare to endure while climbing the corporate ladder.
The book opens by establishing expectations, and each chapter begins with both a truth and a lie. Burton’s goal is clear: to help, heal, inspire, and equip. In that regard, she succeeds. She invites readers into her world while offering practical guidance for navigating workplace challenges and recognizing themselves within difficult situations.
Her advice ranges from advocating for greater opportunities to understanding that she “didn’t need to win over every key player to her side” and could instead “invite them to lunch to ask them to tell her about themselves.” This wisdom was hard-earned after a Black male colleague she believed was an ally praised her work while simultaneously criticizing her for being “too ambitious.” Earlier in her career, she also endured dismissive treatment from a Black female manager who stole presentation ideas and canceled meetings to preserve appearances. Unfortunately, I could relate to both experiences through my own interactions with a Black male executive director who supervised my department.
One of the most powerful sections of the book is “Paint Your Lips Red,” which functions almost like an anthem. Inspired by Burton’s Big Mama, the author explains that red lipstick was never merely cosmetic. Her grandmother’s lipstick represented “her superhero cape,” symbolizing courage, power, fierceness, and fearlessness while enduring illness and life’s daily struggles. Burton transforms that image into a metaphorical offering for readers: an invitation to embrace whatever gives them confidence and strength.
As Burton shares stories from her own life alongside those of mentees and coaching clients, it becomes clear that no single story belongs to just one woman. The experiences of grief, disappointment, resilience, and perseverance echo across countless lives. Burton herself endured profound personal transformation while writing the book, beginning the process married and finishing it widowed. Layered alongside the demands of professional life, her story reflects the reality that many Black women know all too well: the necessity of pushing through.
Whether readers relate to Burton’s personal stories or those of the women she has mentored, parts of Never Wear Red Lipstick are certain to strike a nerve. As a conscious and conscientious woman of color, I found many of her takeaways deeply resonant. One especially meaningful lesson was her realization that she “had to accept people for who they were even if she never understood their motives.”
The book also reinforces the reality that corporate America often resembles an adult playground where feelings are hurt, egos are bruised, and people leave at the end of the day unconcerned with the emotional damage they may have caused. The difference is that adults are expected to “play nice” in boardrooms while often failing to embody kindness in practice. Burton pulls back the curtain on those contradictions.
Among the book’s eight chapters, my favorite focused on self-care. Burton emphasizes setting boundaries and introduces what she calls the “Three Pillars of Wellness”: spirit, mind and heart, and body. While not everyone will literally paint their lips red, Burton encourages readers to embrace whatever feels authentic to them as they work to dismantle limiting beliefs.
I especially appreciated her discussion of physical well-being. Burton makes it clear that “trying to get to a size two or four is not the goal.” Instead, she writes, “The goal of physical well-being is to develop a healthy, loving relationship with your body.” That perspective felt refreshing and affirming. Not everyone desires the same body type, and we are all works in progress — whether because of genetics, illness, or personal fitness goals. The focus should be on becoming the healthiest version of ourselves rather than shrinking ourselves to fit unrealistic standards.
I also enjoyed Burton’s “Boss Blueprint Breakthroughs,” which provide readers with actionable guidance centered around praying, processing, and painting their lips red. Her emphasis on hope rather than delusion particularly stood out, as did her reflections on becoming both “a lady and a legend.” Her lessons on poise were especially valuable.
“To lead with poise,” Burton writes, “means choosing to manage your emotions rather than allowing them to manage you.” That lesson resonated deeply. Remaining silent and composed in difficult situations is not always easy, but Burton also shares wisdom passed down from her father: “Seek first to understand and then to be understood. Listening with empathy shows you care about what that person is saying.”
Through both Never Wear Red Lipstick and her nonprofit initiative Paint Your Lips Red (PYLR), Burton seeks to ensure that “every woman can have a positive impact on her community, church, or school when she nurtures the leader within her.” Ultimately, the book begins and ends with the reminder that leadership starts from within.
So, when it feels like you are fighting for your place in corporate America — or fighting for your place in life itself — pray, process, and paint your lips red. Whether your favorite shade comes from L’Oréal Infallible or Mary Kay Cosmetics, the deeper message is to embrace the version of yourself that feels authentic and to build routines that support a healthier, more vibrant life.
