I was browsing the net today, perusing over the myriads of social media, pokes, tweets, pics, and posts.  Smh at many of the #wittypunchlines  and #LookatwhatIgotnow, #hatersgonhate posts that paraded themselves across my various timelines.  The bold braggarts for the most part irritated me until I saw the complimentary, "#ThankyouJesus", "#PraiseGod", "#GodisGood", "#PeacebeuntoAllah", and user names like, GoddessIsisMaatMawuGoldenlife that followed many of these same supercilious updates. Then I laughed, hard.   Last time I checked, a person usually isn't overcome with gratitude and being a flat-out brag at the same time.

     So being the #blessedandhighlyfavored smartass that I am, I got to thinking....what if God really were one of us?  I mean really, whatever you call him in your faith, God, Allah, Jesus, Most High... Buddah. What if they were one of us in the sense that they had had Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook.  It's not necessary to ponder the number of followers or requests that they'd have.  Besides, that's not what interests me.  Its the posts that I would find interesting.

     Lets say your one of those, what I like to call, #photoshoppedspecialties of the social media world; the ones that only post when you have done something worthy of #haters, or so you think.  So at every new car, promotion, new house, new much cuter boyfriend/girlfriend, vacation, or otherwise expensive purchase, you find your fingers fumbling to click a pic and press the "share"  to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and or whatever else it is that you prescribe to button.  What do you think God would do?

     Surely, these haughty, yet, humble posts must inhibit the same eye-rolling with the unseen spiritual head Honchos as it does myself.  Like they say, as above so below, right?  Personally, I think the spiritual realm has a great sense of humor.  I think that He, or She for my feminists and Others, would post something like," Your welcome hun, #foralimitedtimeonly", or "No, hater's make you disliked, they make me famous".   Or to those who give the complimentary, #Godisgood, what if he responded, "#ididntgiveyouthat, call Me!"  ROTFLMAO!!!  OOPS!!  I meant, ROTFLMBO!!!
 
And God forbid, what if He, or She, actually "unfriended" someone?  #DAMN

     It's just, there is so much #notfunny, and #sosad in our society right now.  I still get teary-eyed when I think about the poverty I saw first-hand in Cape Town, South Africa.  People praying to the same God didn't even have toilets, running water, a bed, a pillow, a church...and yet, they still lifted their chests and pressed in their abdomens in praise of God because of His #graceandmercy.  I think of people in Haiti who are praising God, and other nameless, faceless people praising whatever deity they serve for being #alwaysontime and they don't necessarily have anything fancy to take a picture of,  just,  #dinner.

     Now, I m not saying that I don't have the occasional posts where I'm feeling myself a lil' bit, cause I have those posts too, but they are in real time and are not a constant neccessity.   I do however tire of seeing people only braggin' online though.  Especially, when they have little joy in real life.  #SMH.  But, who am I kiddin', God would probably respond to me too, "#judgenotmyscrewedupchild", or "Let's not forget what you prayed for ten minutes ago", or even better, "#nobitchassness". 

Well, #imnotperfect, I was just making an observation....#imjustsayin

                                                                                    Chasitie Sharron Goodman,  © 2013, All Rights Reserved