Guest Evelyn D. Hall Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 http://tajimag.com/sistahood-by-evelyn-d-hall/ Sorry that my poem, "Isn't Slavery Dead? didn't get posted. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDBurns Posted August 11, 2015 Report Share Posted August 11, 2015 Nice to see Taji Mag on the boards here on AALBC. Nay and Troy are both in NYC and should build. In regard to the poem, it's really a statement written in poetic form. I like the sentiment, and power, but as poetry it lacks imagery and a use of the senses. We should always be able to see, feel, smell and touch the poem. A line like "Different sizes, shapes, colors" is telling. A rewritten line likeHer shoulders wide enough to carry himHer hair captures combs no matter how careful (see the alliteration)We are different sizes, shapes, colorsActually makes the poem alive and active. (That's the old professor in me coming out.) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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