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Ldvirtue

Infidelity's is my sister.

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I missed you, you were here and then gone, no one even saw you go, you  didn’t wave, I just didn’t see those eyes anymore, and yes it was lonely, wondering what it was like to have someone like you, I felt like I think a piano would if some keys were missing, I could get threw some of the melody but a lot of it was messy, the keys didn’t flow right,  I fought for the right tune, the correct tone, but with the origin of the stokes missing the melody changed, it was gone.  It was rough, there are times I forget you, but I always at the same time knew you were missing, I heard myself asking questions to turn for an answer to almost hear you whisper as your silhouette faded into the sky, I was trapped on the other side of us fighting to get to that familiar place that I knew existed within me as child, I hear myself calling out your name in my sleep to wake to a hand that was empty, my strolls long and colorless where fraught with battles that I thought I had to fight alone, I was missing me in you because you made me think, we, us, two, but I was one, sister without a sister, looking and being blessed with sisters learning that  no sister can be a sister  within a sisterhood without the strength of her sisters, I want to hear those songs again, the ones that sounded so out of tune when you were no more than a memory, I want that melody, those walks and talks, and sleep overs and moments, I want to move forward, because at some point I think I stopped, hoping I did find you, hoping you’d catch up, hoping you see me walking past a store and notice my movements and remember and say to yourself in that childlike voice I remember her, I  had a sister like her, she was one of my first friends, my first confidants, she played in my hair and took my dolls, we colored and danced and fought our brothers and dare them to tell if they hit us back, I pray for you always, hoping you’d run up behind me and pull my skirt tale just to look into those eyes again, what moments I have lost, what moments I have missed, what a different world I would know, if I had gotten the opportunity to watch this little sister grow, sorry it took so long, but today is now and we get to move on.  So what, to my sister that have keep me sane for you, who have held me up when there was nothing I could do,  I thank you all and ask you to continue to be the best, yes you are the very best part of me, the voices, that help me make the choices to live life not allow life to live me, I love all my sister and pray I could be as good a sister as some of you have chosen to be.

 

It took 30 years to find my sister

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