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Book review Request: LOL...You Can't make this stuff UP!!


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Man..I'm exhausted with all the '-----' going on in the world.  Time to lighten the mood, lift some spirits, remissness, LOL!  I want  you to spit your drink out from laughing, fall off your chair, slobber out of control... cause you know how we do!  You Can't make this stuff UP!!

 

When you sit back and recall the funny things that come out of a child’s mouth, you can’t help but laugh.  The innocence is priceless as you sit back and watch them try to figure out how to navigate the world.

 

What I find even funnier is listening to them as they near adulthood – the conversations that take place as they now try to figure out how to navigate the world that they ‘THINK’ they’re ready for.

 

Then, the conversations that take place as adults when they reflect about the past and share how they interpreted words, conversations and phrases that were spoken during their younger years – even they have to laugh at themselves.

 

Finally, there’s the 'never to be spoken out loud', embarrassing  conversations and events that take place between adults...LOL... I know right?!

 

Before I share a couple of short stories from the book, I'd like to tease you with a few titles to ignite interest.  These are true events in my life that I bet you can relate to... at least a couple...maybe..lolol!

 

There are 18 True events in the book.  Here a just a few Titles:

  • The Interview
  • The Glow in the Dark
  • Am I being Punked
  • Q&A
  • Figurative v Fact
  • So Is Brown the new Black?
  • Assigned seat 19A
  • Pregnancy Exceptions
  • OK, Really?

 

The end of the book includes those Refrigerator Notes that mom left before leaving for work or making a quick run to the store.  AND, everyone has an Aunt TT who speaks her own language... My sister's...Hilarious and true to form!!

 

ALL TRUE STORIES...MY LIFE...LOLOL,  You, REALLY Can't make this stuff UP!!  Here are two short stories.

 

The She-ro

OK, so I use to work for this company that hosted seminars which were held at hotels in order to accommodate the size of its attendees.  The purpose of the various seminars was to enhance the quality of our investigations in order to deliver the promise to our customers by providing world class service.

 

The focus of this particular seminar was to enhance our ability to recall - to teach us the importance of capturing detail and how quickly important facts can be lost if one fails to preserve facts.

 

So anyway, the seminar went along as expected when all of a sudden an intruder comes from behind a curtain with a handkerchief covering most of his face and mouth and a gun in his hand, hollering and cursing at the presenter, while promising to get his revenge!

 

Everyone, except me, froze in position.  I, on the other hand, dove under the table, and on all four, in a dress, proceeded to find my way through the legs of my peers.  I followed the angry intruder’s voice to make sure that I was crawling in the opposite direction. My intent was to make it to the isle after which my plan was to perform a military crawl, up the ramp, to the exit so that I may call for help. 

 

After about 30 seconds or so, my peers, who were sitting in the row in which I was sitting, began to take notice of me under the table, and started moving their chairs back to see what I was doing.  In an effort not to draw attention to our row, I quietly hushed them, and instructed them not to react – that I would get us out of here safe. 

 

 As the intruder continued to threaten the presenter, I noticed that the guy sitting in the row above me (lecture hall seating) laughing and asking me what I was doing.  Of course, I become anxious and waive him to be quiet.  Then, he says, ‘It’s a skit! What are you doing?!’  WHAT?!, I replied.

 

Then, those in my row proceed to laugh and inquire about what I’m doing under the table.  ‘It’s a skit, didn’t you read the agenda?’  Unfortunately, by this time, both rows have gotten wind that I thought that the invasion was real – man oh man, the laughter that ensued...need I say more.

 

What can I do at this point except crawl from under the table (by the way, I now have a huge run in my stocking) and return to my seat.  Embarrassed as all get out, I focused on the pamphlet, ignoring the laughter. 

 

By this time, the intruder has left the stage.  In an effort to see if his lecture on ‘Recall’ was effective,  the presenter then asks, ‘Who can tell me what the intruder was wearing?’  ‘What was the gist of the intruders rage?’ ‘What color was his skin?’ ‘Were there any distinguishing characteristics that you can recall about him?’  ‘Was the intruder a male or female?”

 

 It was very interesting to hear that several of the attendees recalled different things, while others missed most of the skit because they were distracted by me trying to play she-ro.  A couple of them thought that I was part of the skit.

  

If only I could have thought quick enough to say that, indeed, I was part of the skit.  Needless to say, this skit made me famous as it was talked about for years.  The good news – my peers were happy to know that I was prepared to save the day!

 

The Interview

 

So, my daughter, DANI goes on a second interview at an upscale, fast food restaurant, right. Wait, let me back up. Prior to going on her first interview, I coached her on what questions to expect as a 16 year old with no prior work experience. I told her that they would ask about her ambitions, school activities, hobbies, maybe chores and some very basic, general questions that one would ask a 16 year old with no prior work experience.

The first interview went as I had coached, and all was well. OK, so, she was called for a second interview with another manager. I informed her that the questions will, likely, be very similar given she is 16 with no prior work experience. In my mind, I couldn’t imagine them asking any 'heavy' questions. I should warn that DANI begins each interview response with the word, 'Weeeelllll'


I wait outside in the car while she attends her interview.  When she gets into the car, she says, 'Well, he was nice, but I'm not sure how well I did. I'm gonna have to write down some of the questions he asked and save them for future interviews, so I will know how to answer them'. Of course, she then shared some of the questions and her responses.

Questions 1- 5: School, activities, hobbies, ambitions, TV shows, movies....

Question 6 - Tell me about a weakness that you may have.
Answer: Weeellll, my eyes are kind of weak. Ya know, it’s a little hard to see the board in school when I don't have my glasses. My mom should be taking me to the eye doctor soon.

Question 7 - Tell me how you prioritize your day with everything you have going on.?

 

Answer: Weeeellll, today, I had Orchestra first period, then English, then World Science.. and I have a late lunch so I'm starving by lunch time.... Then, she stops because she is distracted by the manger’s facial expression.
Then, DANI responds: That's not the right answer is it since my schedule was set at the beginning of the year, by the school.


Second answer: Weeellll, I do what is going to move me forward in life and not what's going to hold me back.

Question 8 - What do you do after you’ve completed everything that you have to do?
Answer: Weeeellll, sometimes I text my friends, or watch TV, or cook..... (pause) That's not the right answer, either, is it? Ya know, maybe one of my weaknesses is comprehension.... I don't think I understand the question.
Manager's response: No, that was a perfect answer!

 

Final question: Why do you want to work here?
Answer: Because I love your number 5! I always order a large with a lemonade. And I love your bar-B
-Q sauce.

Final comments by the manager - It was certainly a pleasure interviewing you, DANI. Tell your parents that they did a very nice job raising you. We'll be in touch.

Two hours later, THEY CALLED AND OFFERED HER A JOB!!! Not sure if he just loved the innocent/truthful/sweet answers she gave accompanied by her cute little face (she's such a awesome young lady), or that they saw a great opportunity to

mold her exactly the way they want.

 

Yes, it took everything I had not to laugh at her responses, but I just couldn't control myself. I was hysterical!!!

 

Gotta love her!!
 

The remaining short, but true stories are hilarious!  This book was picked for a local monthly Book Club that I attend.  Let's just say that the, normally, two-hour book club turned into over 3 hours because of all the laughter and reminiscing that ensued.  Feedback was that it was a great way to start the day, hilarious, unbelievable, only you, Dee, Thanks for sharing, soooo fun!

 

Thank you all for your review and feedback.  Very much appreciated.

 

Title: LOL...You Can't make this stuff UP!!

Author: Dee Miller

Published: 2017

ISBN: 9781502341402

 

 

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