Drink Water and Mind Your Business: A Black Woman’s Guide to Unlearning the BS and Healing Your Self-Esteem

“Practical, funny, empathetic, shame-free, and joyful.” —Emily Nagoski, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Come Together, Come As You Are, and Burnout

Self-esteem ain’t self-taught—and it does see color.

Let’s be real: society was not built with the needs of Black women in mind. As a result, many learn to prioritize everyone else’s needs over their own, finding value in being the perfect partner, mother, daughter, employee, or friend. But that is exhausting. Instead of embracing who they are—regardless of service, income, or appearance—they often measure their worth by what they do for others.

Supremacy culture teaches people to devalue Black people, women, and especially Black women—except when they are expected to save or serve others. In a world where acceptance often seems tied to service, how can Black women feel confident, secure, and unapologetically themselves? How can they reject oppressive systems while living joyful, fulfilling lives?

The answer is self-esteem.

In Drink Water and Mind Your Business, Dr. Donna Oriowo reclaims self-esteem from the myths and limitations imposed by white male supremacy. Drawing on years of research and her experience as a licensed sex and relationship therapist, she explores what self-esteem is, how society shapes it, and how it influences every aspect of life.

With practical guidance and empowering insights, Dr. Donna helps readers set healthy boundaries, prioritize their own needs, recognize their inherent worth, and build lives rooted in pleasure, confidence, and joy.