Well, this discussion has imploded because everybody is co-oping each other arguments. The debate about what is learned and what comes natural has become nebulous and convoluted.
My position is that once a child sees the good or bad consequences of his actions, he learns to curb his natural impulses to have his own way, then learns what behavior to adopt in order to be accepted by the group. This is why psychologists and educators formulated the kindergarten concept: to teach children how to get along with their peers and conform to an orderly classroom environment. This has nothing to do with racism. Can we agree that racism is about empowerment, - about being able to enforce and instituionalize color discrimination, something that children don't have the authority to do.
I'd say that hate comes easier than love. People do have to learn to subdue their egos in order to love somebody other than themselves. Some people never learn to do this, and are incapable of becoming emotionally involved with another because they are too self-absorbed. Of course there is love at first sight, but in order to preserve their love, couples have to learn to live together. IMO.