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Next Suday, August 18th will be my 80th birthday. I began my week-long countdown yesterday. Can I make it? I seriously wonder. I feel OK but - who knows? Anything can happen. Life is fickle. Because I want to do it my way, I have planned a family dinner to be held in a private banquet room, where my 5 kids, 8 grandchildren and 3 great grands will gather to help me celebrate. My niece and grand nephew live out of state and won't be able to make it. Except for 3 distant cousins, these are all the blood relatives I have left in the world. Most of my close friends are dead and the 4 surviving female ones don't live close. Only casual acquaintances survive. I look upon this upcoming family gathering as a live memorial repast because I plan to be cremated and have left instructions to forego a funeral. Nobody's left to come. Sad? No. I think it's funny. I wanted my ashes to be compressed and the carbon extracted from them so it can be turned into a diamond which could be mounted in some kind of an appropriate setting. But I don't trust people who say they can do this. I think they just dispose of your charcoal left overs and present the family with a cubic zirconia. (Ever the cynic) I have also considered having my ashes planted in a flower bed so I can bloom every spring. I'm still deciding, and I know I have to make a decision soon. The wind will probably be what makes the final decision as to where what's left of me will flutter. C'est la Vie. One grandaughter jokingly asked me if I was going to get a 3rd tattoo to commemorate my 80th year. I said "no" because what I really want, is to have my nose pierced so I can sport a tiny diamond stud in one nostril. But - I will forego this fantasy. That's all I need is to get an infection or other complications as the result of a silly whim. Last night in the wee small hours I ventured out into my yard and gazed skyward, hoping I could spot any streaking comets making up the meteor showers that were forecasted for the week end. I figured I could hitch my spirit to one of them and check out the universe. I wasn't entirely suprised when I would only see flashes out of the corner of my eyes; never head on. I don't know it they were real, or phantoms. The longer I looked, the more the sparks seemed to be flying. Anyhow it was a surreal experience, staring up at a blinking purple-hued sky scattered with feathery clouds, all in anticipation of day break. And the days dwindle down as I complete the memento I am preparing to have copies made of to hand out to my guests. Instead of an obituary, it's a Bio replete with a time-line collage of pictures. It's self-indulgent, I know. But, what the hell. YOLO!