careycarey

Troy, I have a different e-mail address so I don't get notifications. Yelp, after 10 years I dropped my cable provider and my e-mail came through them. Anyway, when I started to change my address in my profile (here) I noticed it said I would have to re-qualify or something like that (verify?). I believe I've heard you say you have a long list of those trying to "join". So, since I didn't want to get lost in the shuffle and not be able to login, I did nothing. What would you suggest I do?

Two old Uncle Toms reminiscing about the good ol' days.

But I did enjoy the movie

Wow, I see Troy and his partner in the "sublime to the ridiculous" are still finding school yard ways to attack President Obama.

"Tsk...Tsk....Tsk.....Troy, ummmmm......your thinking is becoming more bizarre and twisted by the comment. I'm really surprised to see this kind of melt down from I guy I thought was sharp and on point"

Best comment in the tread. I am glad someone saw through Troy's ridiculous attempt at polical sarcasm. But then, right on cue, Hop-a-long showed up... "Come ooooooon, Xeon, you gotta give better rebuttals. We can't read your mind as to why you think Troy's comments have no merit"

MERIT?! Give me a freakin' break. What was there to refute? Since Xeon has crushed Troy several times (regarding President Obama and his administration) Troy words were akin to that of a little kid licking his wounds from waaaaaay down the block... and yelling "Obama's a stinker and that guy, Minister somebody, says so too".

Now lets see, what other jewels did I see? Oh, Lee Elders. Please, why would anybody support their position by mentioning the author of "Stupid Black Men. Yeah, that's the title of his 2008 "race card" book. Go figure. Troy probably has a signed copy. Again, Xeon pulled back the curtain on this Wizard of Black-OZ.

But, to be fair about this, I do have a copy of his book, but like Xeon implied, the guy has made a career out of straddling the fence. It's true, he's the thorn in the side of conventional-"black" wisdom, but he turns a blind eye when if comes to (Michele Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh, Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Glenn Beck, Bush, et al...).

"I got someone to write the article and will be publishing it shortly"

Oh lord, let me guess, it's Cynique. 500 words of YEAH BUT, Obama sucks.

You know what, I am still wondering when one of Troy and Cynique's ilk, are going to step up and bring their contender for POTUS? I mean, since they deplore everything Obama attempts to do or has done, I know they have a replacement in mind. I'm sure they wouldn't be that foolish to burn down their house before they had a replacement home? I am sure they're smarter than that. Nobody could be that filled with that much jealousy and hateraid?!

Wait, I know the name of their man!

Hermain Cocaine Cain! Now I've seen everything. See, I live in Iowa so I sorta know white folks and people like Troy and Cynique, but this Hermain Munster Cain is a new Frankenstein. He was in Iowa doing his best slappy white, so I have to mention him. And, he's Cynique and the gang's main man AND he's running for POTUS!

Seriously, I don't do much politics but I turned on my boob tube and that clown was doing the 2011 Buckwheat for president dance. Really, I couldn't believe my eyes so I set my video recorder. Then, after he was done, I sent the tape to my lab boys and asked them if they could somehow give me back a 3D version. I wanted to see this guy from all angles because something wasn't right. After a week went by my package arrived. There was a note attached... "We slowed this down and noticed Mr Cain had a small mic in his ear and something was protruding from his rear end. We were able to filtered out the words in the small ear piece. They sound like lyrics to a song that some use to get hyped before they go on stage. here they are:

I wish I was in de land ob cotton,

Old times dar am not forgotten;

Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.

In Dixie Land whar I was born in,

Early on one frosty mornin,

Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.

Those lyrics, written in a comic, exaggerated version of African American Vernacular English, tell the story of a freed black slave pining for the plantation of his birth.

Damn, now my curiosity was on high alert. I couldn't wait to see what was running out of his booty hole. I popped in my remastered 3D video and there it was. I couldn't believe my eyes, it was a tail! Yicks, a big black funky looking hairy tail was hidden under his jackass suit. But if you haven't seen this guy or heard his rhetoric, you better hurry because he's a black republican. And we know what they do with them. Yep, they use them up and throw them away like a dirty scummy dishrag.

Aside from the funky mouth monkey man, here's my basic point of contention:

Raise your hands in the air if you just don't care. Or, wave the flag for Ms Palin or any old Mr Charlie, or his wife, or any ol' negro?

If not Obama then who? BRING ME HIS NAME!

Okay, let me check my list... here it is, "dufus". You've used that 25 times, you'll have to come up with a few more original names.

But check this. Coming from the mouth of a fellow Chicagoan, Jon Greengurg of ESPN Chicago, he too is questioning Rose's ability to continue to carry all the load of your Bulls.

I didn't say it this time, he did. Read http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nba/columns/story?columnist=greenberg_jon&id=6243399

Okay, it's been 2 weeks and since you didn't get 1 comment, I'll give you a helping hand. Yes, I am here to take you out of your misery.

But first, why don't you just admit it,... you love me. What else can explain your lack of sleep until you call my name.? And yes, I saw all the programs you mentioned. And yes, I don't agree with your assessments.

And thanks for reading my blog/posts. And it's so Ironic that you read my post "if You Were My Girl Friend". I mean, you read the post and you played the Prince youtube video, right? So, even though you were trying to find ways to be my girlfriend, vanguish that from your mind. That could never happen because I like women that can't take their teeth out, and your breath stinks.

Now why ya gotta talk so nasty?

Thank you very much. You didn't disappoint me. In fact, I was waiting for your return and I could have written your reply.

See you later allegator. If not afterwhile crocodile.

Are you referring to this jewel that I did in my home? If you are, take note that this is a critique on Mr Perry's ability to capture the essence of a woman's struggles. Also, read it there and agian you'll find it fair - I've given my definition of a "hater", and this - in know way - fits in that catagory. Listen real good as I define my points of contention.

"I was basing my statements on what sportwriters and commentators were saying"

That's where you got lost in darkness. You were probably listening to a Bull's channel,and thus, was biting on the wrong ass. Seek first to understand and THEN you might be working with something. Of course those clowns on the Bull's network are goiing to make glowing statements about the Bulls and their also-ran players. That's what they are paid for. Yep, to capture the ears of the unknowing and the uninformed - like you.

Come back when you can voice your own qualified opinions, and not those of a paid puppet. Cynique, you gotta stop copying and pasting your way through life. Even the cowardly lion and the tin man found out they had courage and a heart.

Oh me oh my, wake up from your fits of delusions. Read it here and you will find it fair. The following are my EXACT words on Tyler Perry. And if I did say - which I did not - that Halle's role was not Oscar worthy, that's only speaking the significance of THAT role. There could have been better performances that year. So what they hell is your point? I did not, and never have said the woman couldn't act! Cynique, you're losing it.

So, I am standing on mine and my side of the street, but where on earth have you drifted? But after reading the following, I think it might jog your memory. My words are documented and your's seem to be lost in your emotional turmoil.

Cynique, you keep asking for these ass-whoopings and I am abliged to give you what you want. Now listen, be careful what you ask for and if you come looking for me or calling my name, you must have noticed that I will not take pity on a shit talking old lady. Here it comes. Read'em and weep.

TO MY NAY-SAY FRIENDS OF TYLER PERRY AND FOR COLORED GIRLS.

Blow it out your ass! Yeah, that's what I said, find a clue and some toilet paper.

Well carey,"Tyler Perry is a Black dysfunction porn pimp. He thinks that because he's so dysfunctional that all Black people are as well. I think Oprah falls into this category too"

Is that right? Well let me tell you a thang or two. I get so tired of negros that watch a movie, and then cry about how it makes "us" look. Give me a freaking break! First, it's a damn movie, okay. It's one story in time. It's one of a thousand avenues in which one could draw a conclusion and/or opinion on any number of topics including race, sexual abuse, or rather or not the Miami Heat will win the NBA Championship. Depending on who you ask, it's highly probably a mega-ton of thoughts will follow.

And please excuse me, did I miss the memo? When did the mystical "ambiguous" other folks (eye in the sky) ever love us? I mean, did I miss the call that said we've been loved for the last 200 years? If there was no such doctrine, then why (NOW?) are some folks concerned with how a movie (one movie) projects a black face, or highlights real issues within our community?

Come on, if a person gets their core knowledge from a damn movie and uses that "limited" knowledge to draw a conclusion based solely from that source, THAT person is an idiot! Consequently, if someone worries about that fool's opinion, then hey, what does that say about them? If you talk to a fool long enough, there will soon be two fools talking - and arguing - talking about absolutely nothing.

So Tyler Perry portrays the black man as an evil usurper of woman. Really... how so, and even though, so.... and? And what, those monsters don't exist? Spare me, Tyler Perry didn't create those brutal men, look out your window, or look in your family tree. Please, lets keep this real. Who's fooling who?

Listen, personally I do not think Tyler Perry is a great director. But that opinion is not based on the subject matter in his films. Why should it? And now we have some folks attacking the man's character because some of his films include abused women and whorish men. Lordy lordy, we don't want that to get out. The general public can't handle that new (news). What will they think of us now? Do you hear me.... nothing has changed because there's nothing to change.

Didn't the same freaks come out at night when "Precious" landed. Didn't I hear the same black zombies and mammy rags cry foul? Sure I did. In fact, I wrote a song about it. Here it goes...

The greatest show on earth. The most super-fabulous, splenderocious, Mega-magnanimous event of the year. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Ray "Jamie Fox" Charles vs Mary "Mo’nique" Jones. Tyler Perry and the man that raped the woman in For Colored Girls.

But first, let’s get the preliminary fights out of the way.

I am still alive. I mean, I watched the movies "Precious" and "Ray" and For Colored Girls, and I am still here. That must make me a special kind of survivor - huh? I don’t feel compelled to shoot heroin or rape my daughter, so I must be special. My white neighbors still wave at me as they pass by. I don’t know what they are saying in their homes, nor do I care.

A Precious lived down the street from me. The rumors and whispers surrounding the father of her children have stood the test of time. We called her father, Icewater.

The other day I passed by the welfare office. I spotted several "Mo`niques" exchanging Newport cigarettes. I knew some of them – I waved and kept driving.

I know several women that have been brutalized by the hands of men. In fact, last year, one was murdered by the hands of her lover. And check this, ol'boy had done it before. After doing a ten year bit, he got out and did it again. Now he's doing life.

Let me continue. Last week I accompanied my granddaughter to her school. Ms. Cornrolls, the schools receptionist , greeted me with a smile. I returned the favor and threw in a hug.

I’ve coached teenage thugs. I know their mothers and fathers. I am still alive. "Precious" and "Ray" and "For Colored Girls" are movies. Can we move forwards?

Did Mo`nique kill the part of Precious Jones!? Did she not waver in that role? Wasn’t she the epitome of every abusive mother in the world. How about Kimberly Elise in FCG? Did she bring her A-game or what? Thandie Newton might not get an Oscar nod for her performance but she was the best whorish tramp that I've seen in some time. But wait, they were black women in despair, so we can't champion their roles, can we?

Jamie Fox was Ray Charles. While watching "Ray" I witnessed Jamie morph into Ray Charles, one of the greatest R & B singers of all time. And remember, Ray Charles was a heroin addict. I wonder how many people bought a trey bag after watching that movie?

In every detail, Mo`nique captured my vision of the quintessential angry, hostile, vicious, manipulative, cunning and insecure women. She took me there. And wait, Ray Charles was a womanizer. I wonder what the white man thinks about that. Well, no I don't. Again, I could care less about their views of us. I mean, why should I? They will continue to do what they've always done. That is, let us hang ourselves, while they sit back, and wait, to pickup the trash.

I understand Ray Charles addiction to heroin. I also understand the resentment Mary Jones had for her daughter, however, I do not condone either’s behavior. Yet, I am sure neither individual signed up for that road of ignorance. Therefore, I refuse to convict them for their character flaws or lay total blame at their feet, nor that of Lee Daniels, the director of Precious. Mary Jones said "I did what my mother told me".

I few days ago, a friend of mine told me that Mr. So-n-So was a good man. I asked her how she knew that. She paused, then said "well, he had a good job and tired to show his son’s how to be men". I asked her if she’d ever been in his house. She said it was a dirty mess. She went on to say there were rumors of him abusing his wife. Rumors mind you, but she did notice his wife’s soft steps when in the company of her husband. My friend was married to this man’s son. She said he was the worst SOB she’d ever known. He abused her for 30 years. Opps, I shouldn't talk about that, right?

Mo `nique (Mary Jones) did what her mother told her. She pointed a finger at Precious and said, "It’s this bitches fault, she made [my man] leave. She let him have her. She made him leave, who else is gonna love me!?". That damn Lee Daniels and Tyler Perry, they're always throwing that mess in our face, right? Wrong, the mess was already in our face, some folks just don't want to look at it.

Jamie Fox’s portrayal of Ray Charles was one of the best performance I `ve seen in my lifetime.

And, the scene in the welfare office with Mariah Carey (Ms. Weiss) and Precious was grand theater. Mo `nique’s acting in that scene was probably the best performance that I `ve ever witnessed by a black actress. No, not probably, it was the best performance I ‘ve ever seen. I’d argue against any contenders.

Tyler Perry's latest effort may not be Oscar worthy, and truthfully, it's not. However, much of the criticism is pointed in the wrong direction. But really, and more importantly, what can we REALLY do to change the minds of those that love to swim in negativity? Think about that.

And think about why I didn't give my overall review of For Colored Girls? Well, I'll tell you. This morning I talked about this movie for about 3 hours. I got strung out debating this movie with the poet laureate of our city. Really, that's her official title. So I had my hands full. Then my daughter called and it was on again. So I was worn out. But if you ask me a few questions, I can't tell a lie.

Well, it looks like we've again come to the end of our road. Noah will never be allowed to even sniff the seats of an All Star team. Are you kidding me. His chances of making an NBA All Star team are as remote as 5'2" Troy Johnson winning the slam dunk contest. There are at least 15 centers above Noah.

"Last time I checked, the Bulls were leading their division"

AND?! I mean, lets take a look at that division. Indiana, CLEVELAND, Detroit and Milwaukee. So now I am deeply troubled. Exactly who is

"convential wisdom" and who's mentioning - mentioning mind you - Tom Thibodeau for the coach-of-the-year honors?

I am done.

Gosh, there you go talking out of the side of your neck - again.

Who said any of the following:

"This from a person who has consistently put Halle Berry down, presumably for or no other reason that that This from a person who has consistently put Halle Berry down, presumably for or no other reason that that he doesn't like her. Or as he calls it, "hatin". And of course he dismisses anybody who doesn't share his opinion that Halle didnt deserve an Oscar for "Monster's Ball".

Cynique, I know you don't like being called out or called on your foolish remakes (and you'll probably run from this one), but please explain what source of information inspired you to makes such a statement (lie)?

Listen, Halle is a very good actress and I've never said otherwise. And, I've seen her latest release... Have you? And who said she didn't "deserve" her Oscar? You've lost your mind. I voiced my complaints about the role but what are you talking about? You've gone from dissing Oprah to talking about a Monster's Ball.

So Cynique, if you don't want to lose what little props you have left, come correct and keep you imaginations and "presumptions" out of the equation. Geez, you've been losing ground all this weeks. You gotta come with a little better game plan. Lies, and crying and presumption and assumption are not cutting it.

"Can you say Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah??????"

Yeah, I can say fluffy skinny - no offence- Joakim Noah. And no skills - outside the paint - Carlos Boozer, who's too short to stop the league's big men. And lets talk about their - can't coach- coach. I can say everyone of their names since ol'boy left to lead the Lakers to multiple championships.

YEAH, TELL'EM KOLA, THEY NEED TO HEAR THE TRUTH!

And give me that damn mic, I am tired tired tired of some negros that deny the truth even when it's sitting on their brainwashed heads. Check this (and I 've said this before):

WHY ALL THE HATE ON OPRAH AND TYLER PERRY?

You might not like her Stead-man or her BFF Gail, but you can't deny the truth. Oprah has given voice to more intelligent and artistic people of color than any person on this earth. That list numbers in the thousands. From black politicians , black authors, black musical geniuses, black business owners, heads of foreign states, prominent black lawyers, doctors, chief cooks and bottle washers, Oprah has been the driving force in exposing them to the world, which opens a door for more to follow. Oh, should I mention her unmatched effort to highlight the ever- present struggles of the black female. Not to mention her nearly 1/2 billion dollars she's given to the needy.

Look, you may not like Oprah because of her fortune and fame, and you may not like her interviewing style, and I understand that, however, does that diminish her overall accomplishments? Well, I'm just asking because I know it does not. I also know some people are constitutionally incapable of seeing the truth, even when it smacks them in their face. Yet, the truth does not lie.

Listen, so many times and so many ways, I've said Oprah Winfrey is probably the greatest black woman that has ever walked this earth. I say that because "great" is reserved for those that far exceed the accomplishments of others and spreads their "wealth" and "knowledge" along the way. Greatness is reserved for those that break through the glass ceiling and then puts that ceiling in the basement. Greatness is reserved for those that have the courage and wisdom to withstand attacks from the front & the back, from the rich & the poor, from BLACKS & WHITES. Great is reaching back to give back. Greatness is reaching back to a land that most blacks could call home. Some call it the motherland.

Although money is not the road to happiness, it's great that Oprah has given hundreds of millions of her dollars to causes that nobody else dared to attack or even mention. Great is a person that can win the approval of others in spite of their skin color. Oprah stands alone in her greatness. Although many women have done great things, those accomplishments pale in comparison to those of Oprah Winfrey's. You may not agree, but please tell me why?

One can not deny that her greatness extends beyond the boarders of America. Oprah is the GREATEST of them all. There are no challengers to her crown. Not yet anyway.

So please, why is it when one of our own reaches a place of comfort and success, so many POC hate them? Oprah is a fantastic role model for all our black children. Granted, there may be small titty-bits (yes, I said "titty"-bits) of personal indifference's one may have with Oprah, but in no way does that diminish her accomplishments. Some folks are just too busy smelling their own upper lip. And lord have mercy, some black people even call her ugly, *shaking my damn head* Yeah, there's some brainwashing going on.

WHY? Well, I'll tell you why....

Because of the color of their skin. Some blacks folks are so envious, slothful, wrathful and jealous, that they'd kill themselves before they'd give another black person their proper due.

Do I hear a ball of confusion?

Run, run, run, but you sho' can't hide. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, vote for me, and I'll set you free. Rap on brother, rap on. Well, the only person talkin bout love thy brother is the preacher. And it seems, nobody is interested in learnin' but the teacher. Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration, aggravation, humiliation, obligation to our nation.

Ball of Confusion

That's what the world is today. The sale of pills are at an all time high. Young folks walk around with their heads in the sky. Cities aflame in the summer time and the beat goes on. Air pollution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul. Shootin' rockets to the moon, kids growin' up too soon. Politicians say more taxes will solve everything, and the band played on.

So round 'n' round 'n' round we go, where the world's headed, nobody knows.

Just a Ball of Confusion

Oh yea, that's what the world is today. Fear in the air, tension everywhere, and the band played on - and the band played on.

In short, why all the hate on Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey? Really, specifically, what's your beef with Oprah? Why can't we champion the good and leave the hate behind? You tell me because I don't know.

And while you're at it, read the following post on Tyelr Perry's "For Colored Girls". I am not done yet.

Sample: OMG!!!! Some negros have become embarrassingly ridiculous. Black directors make movies they feel are relevant to their personal agendas and those of their targeted audience (which is generally black). White people have nothing to do with it. Negroes need to move past their paranoiac race fantasies of persecution and see reality for it is. The Negroes who were upset about Chris Rocks movie were embarrassed that non-whites would now know the astringent details of the difficulty of grooming and managing black hair (as if they didn’t already know!). Outside of the deep rooted shame and self loathing of their natural hair, there is no sane reason for Negroes to protest such movies as Good Hair, Precious and FCG. I personally heard two black women bitterly complain the Rock had “exposed black women’s secrets” (I know…I know, as pathetic as that sounds -I actually heard them say it!). Same can be said for the movie Precious. It was a hard core gritty story about a young black woman’s tragic life. All the trappings and characters in the movie are real and black America is filled with legions of Negroes who are carbon copies of every single character in the movie. So why all the histrionics and temper tantrums about situations, behavior and characters that are pandemic in black America? Makes no sense cuz….

Nawl, we've had enough "bringing it on" for this week. Let's talk about something we both can agree on... The Bulls. I'm worried about my boy Rose. See, the Bulls are wearing him out. We need a REAL center.

For instance, look at Koby and the support he has around him. In my opinion Kobe is the best player in the NBA. His all around skills are too strong to have any real contenders. Yet, it's undeniable that Kobe and the Lakers would not have the success they've seen, if not for the talent around. Starting at the center position, the Lakers have always been strong. Then, unlike the Bulls, the Lakers have always had a strong defensive presence down in the paint, ie, Rodman, Shaq, Artest, and now two towers and artest. And, the lakers always have another pure shooter on the outside.

Rose needs help.... badly. And, I am not so sure they can win with their "never been nothing" coaches.

Cynique, thanks for that "deep thinking" fine analysis. You've saved me an hour of time and money. I can call my shrink and tell him I won't be coming in this week.

But now I'm thinking... ummmm......

"When you argue with him [Carey], he sets the tone because he can never just advance his point without prefacing it with the personal attacks that he apparently think bolster his position"

Now if I am not mistaken, this is coming from the grand dame of insults. When last we checked, the count of slanderous name - directed at ol'Carey - it over 150. So who is fooling who. Please, the "white girl cry" may be working on some, but you can miss me with that one.

"He admittedly feeds on the ideas and phrases of others for the purpose of co-opting them since he's not an original thinke

Well well well, it appears the self professed "critical thinker" has again made her move too soon. What human - on this earth - did not gain knowledge from reading something or someone that has gone before them? It makes absolutely no sense to imply that someone - ANYONE - learned their speaking and writing skills from sitting in a cave, or through some weird form of "writing osmosis". It's been said in many ways and many times, that if a person desires to be a better writer or communicater, they should read anything and everything they can, to advice their position. So, feeds & co-opts IS the natural and proven path. Only a self obsorb ego-manic would think differently. They would fool themselves into believing all their knowledge was obtained at birth, and therefore, everything they read, they already knew.

Please baby baby please, you gotta come better than this. If not, you're losing props and your sympathy card will expire.

And lastly, "And then there's carey. From day one, we've never hit it off"

AGAIN... yet again, that's not true. When you went by the other name (don't quite remember the name of that moniker ) back when you WERE NOT this Cynique, things were cool. But with the name change and more and more people challenging your - ahh - opinions, calling you out, you began to harden. You became more cynical and argumentative. You have to admit that you've had more tussles/battles/fights and deep disagreements on this board than everyone combined. The number of your victims and challengers would fill a very large scrap book. fifty are more would be a good guess.

Yet today, you're playing the part of nice compassionate, grandmotherly victim. Cynique, every closed eye is not sleep. You may fool some of the people some of the time, but....

And be rest assured, if you keep coming my way... this is what I do. There are no rules in love and war, and nobody sets the rules of engagement.

"That was one of your better ones Carey.

Crying and laughing -- a great exchange. "

Well Xeon, particapants aside, my vision was the evil women in The Wiz and The Wizard of Oz. You know, the one that was flushed down the toilet. So I sorta stole that one. I saw Cynique interviewing Kola. Then as the tears started flowing, Cynique, - with a hand reminiscent of the wicked witch of the west - reached for a lever on the side of her "crying couch". As Kola reached for a tissue to wipe her eyes, Cynique flushed her down the toilet. But then, some of the water splashed on Cynique, and of course we know what happened when Dorothy threw water on the wicked witch..... "You cursed brat. Look what you've done. I'm melting. I'm melting. Oh, what a world. Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness."

Say it ain't so! I beg you Kola, don't fall in the web of the evil black widow. Her Oprah's couch has a trap door.

If You Were My Girl Friend - Again?

Jack & Jill ran up the hill to get a marriage license/ They found bliss and shared a kiss/ and that's the end of the story.

Wouldn't that be great? Through the storms of adultery, physical and mental abuse, uncommon interests, gambling, selfishness, alcoholism, deceit, sloth and boredom, wouldn't it be great if we all could be like Petunia (Ethel Waters) & Little Joe. Yes sir, Little Joe was a gambling womanizer but Petunia still loved her Little Joe. The devil tried to take Little Joe, but eventually they were hand in hand, walking to the Cabin In The Sky. That was a great movie - wasn't it. But what about now?

Now I am at a place of wonderment. I found myself here after reading a post by Tha L. http://rippdemup.blogspot.com/2009/11/guest-blogger-put-haterade-downiced-tea.html

Her post was eerily similar to mine. http://rippdemup.blogspot.com/2009/10/guest-blogger-why-are-you-speaking-so.html

Those posts were basically saying the same thing... "Clean up your side of the street". Personally, I wonder what that means to me and to others. Well, I know what it means to me because I wrote the post. Let me say this, I have several flaws - okay. When I think about those flaws, I wonder why my love life has not been that bad.

Now, don't take this as a vane attempt to stroke myself or to stratify myself above the common man, but I've never lost at love. Nope, I've never had a woman leave me and I am still cool with every woman that I've had a serious relationship with. "Then why was there separation, CareyCarey?" . Well, before I went to jail for a serious crime, I was involved with a woman. She was cool, but I was not. I mean, I was in the grips of an addiction when I met her. While I was riding that storm, she was the one for me. She didn't even know I had an addiction, but I did. While I was incarcerated, she supported me. When I got out, she supported me. She bought my clothe and gave me transportation. Yet, when I removed myself from that storm, she wasn't the one for me. Without being specific, she wasn't the one for me when I decided to start over. To this day we are cool, but I doubt we could ever be lovers again.

Earlier in my life, while I was in a committed relationship, I had an affair with another woman. In that relationship a child was born. This woman and I were tight, it's safe to say we were in love. However, again, without being totally specific, I had to leave that relationship because I had a family and a woman waiting for me back home. I am still cool with that past lover. I hurt her, yet we remain friends.

I was married. I am now a widower. My present relationship is strong.

Having said all of that and admitting I have numerous character flaws, I sometimes wonder why the women have stayed around and/or continue to allow me to be their friend. But here is were I am at today.

I have a few boundaries. I mean, there are a few things I do not compromise in my search for a woman that I want to call mine. Again, this is not about me but I am going somewhere. I have a pet peeve that many would call ridiculous. It may not be a deal breakers but it would be a serious impediment to a lasting relation - for me. See, I brush my teeth about 10 times a day. I not only brush my teeth but I wash my mouth. Simply brushing ones teeth can be akin to washing ones feet and not getting between the toes or not putting them in water for any significant period of time.

Anyway, for me, a woman has to have very clean teeth and their breathe has to remain pleasant. Okay, I know some may think that shouldn't be a reason to fight love. But, for "me" it is. Yeah, ridiculous.... I know.

But if I can go back to the posts of Tha L, and mine, err'body was talking/complaining about the other person. Well, what about the other person - you?

What if you could go back and be that girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife again, what are some of the things you would change about yourself? I mean, it's not always the other person's fault that a relationship did not last. Are there a few idiosyncrasies or outlandish requirements that you have, that might have put a wedge in your love life. More so, are there a few serious character flaws of your own that you've now discovered that you must give serious attention? Isn't it important that we check ourselves before we....

No, it wasn't the suit, it was me. No, it wasn't the woman, it was me, I was fu*ked up. Was it you? What was it about you that you've now come to believe must change. If you can't say it, you can't do it. If you can't find it, you can't fix it.

If you could go back, what would you change about yourself?!

A.Smith said...

Oh gosh Carey. I would change SO much. I remember when things went down the toilet with me and my ex and he was trying to salvage anything he could, he asked me if I would remember anything good about our relationship and I told him no. I regret doing that everyday -- but for reasons I'll share at another time -- though anyone who reads my blog can probably guess why.Anywho, I said "no" more because I felt like it was all his fault than anything else. Since that time I've become aware of how narrow-sighted and selfish that was. I was not perfect, I was horribly imperfect and I get that -- very important lesson I had to learn, for sure.

CareyCarey said...

Hi A. Smith,

You don't know how much I appreciate your comments. I see you are going into social work (I think). To some degree, that is what I do. Well, I deal with people going through a major storm.

Through this journey, I've learned valuable information about myself. In order for me to feel comfortable about telling others how to change, I have to walk the talk. You, my lady, have a gift that many will never achieve. You have the courage to admit to your faults AND voice them. What leaves the heart will find another. I believe you are heading in the right direction.Yes, it's frequently not about the other person. Selfishness is a mean thang. Thanks for stopping by.

Solomon said...

Nobody is perfect. There are always things we would do differently if we could do it all over again. In my last relationship there are quite a few things I would change if I could do it all over again. For one thing I would call more in the beginning of the relationship instead of treating it like a booty call early on. Then I would be more open about what I wanted in the relationship. I don't think I was very good at talking about my needs, especially at first. Then there is my character flaw of me not being able to tell somebody how I feel about them. Well, I think I was so damaged I really didn't know how I felt but at least I could have tried right! I also know that in my past relationships I wasn't always emotionally available. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get to that point of emotional attachment, at least for a while anyway. Then there are the "warning signs" that I was always good at ignoring. If I was serious about the relationship I should have went with my gut and not ignored the signs. As with anyone I can be selfish when it comes to things I expect in a relationship. Nobody is perfect and I'd say I'm far from it. Sometimes I didn't listen to her needs when making decisions and I realize now that I was being selfish. I think I would be in a much better place to be in a relationship now after working on these issues. My last relationship was hard because I felt so damaged from all the drama of my previous relationships. You can only move forward right! Hopefully from here on out things will work out better and I won't be so damn selfish!

uglyblackjohn said...

Whaaaaat? Man, I can only give my nephews and young cousins advice on what NOT to do when it comes to women.I get some really great women but I always seem to eff it up.

FreeMan said...

Why do I feel I'm at a Catholic confessional? I lived in Philly and I met the one! I salsa danced with her on Thursday and she was down to earth and understood money so we ate out occasionally and spent most times chilling at my house. Then I got accepted to Law School and I was so short sighted and she understood how big of a break it was for me that we parted ways. I look back all the time thinking I should've fought harder but I accepted my fate. I was so used to leaving everything behind in order to get on top that I thought shit this is one more of those times. I don't have many regrets but she's ONE! Life picked up so fast after that I never caught up with her and haven't found her again after some searching! I've been fighting so long to right the ship of my life and circumstances that I sacrificed a good part of my life in the process.

CareyCarey said...

Freeman my son, god be with you:-). Man, but don't you feel better now? But really, I believe there's something special in admitting we may have been wrong. Selfishness is one of the core issues of breakups.

@ Uncle Black, man now come on. You can do better than that. Even MadMoney Freeman dropped a tear. You could have at least told us a piece of your ish. There may be a young man reading this and they could learn from your evil ways *lol*

@ solomon, tell me Solomon, how's your present love life? It seems like you have a few answers.

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Well if you aren't honest about why a rlationship didn't work then you are dume to repeat the mistake. I really have not dug deep enough I believe I keep getting hooked up with the wrong woman. My big problem is the cookie box,I get hooked and ignor the warning signs.

CareyCarey said...

@ Big Mac with extra cheese. See, I'm noticing a pattern and you said it. Ms. A.Smith showed us her's and I'd hope the guys would follow suit. But oh no, the men came up in here talking about money and booty. *lol*I mean, didn't yawl notice how Ms Smith said she was horribly imperfect. She went deep. But lord have mercy, the brothas couldn't dig past their Johnson and their billfolds. Dang, you guys have reduced us to tricks and sugardaddy's. You guys have no excuses either. @ your blogs, you guys go deep. But on this subject, you guys didn't dig deep, you took a short cut - to the tail end. I am so disappointed in my brothas :-)

Mizrepresent said...

I would have kicked him to the curb the first time he cheated instead of giving him another 10 years of my time. What would i change about myself...i would have been more up front about my needs and desires, and i wouldn't have taken a backseat to my dreams so that he could live his. I could have loved him more, if i hadn't stopped liking him.

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

GUILTY,GIVE ME TWENTY JUDGE CAREY!Its a good thing when we can check each other.

CareyCarey said...

LOL @ Big Mac. Yes, it's a good thang that men can say what needs to be said and not get offended.Since you threw yourself on the mercy of the court, I'm only going to sentence you to church :-). But you're on probation. Speaking of probation, I have a woman that's coming into my court.

Hello Miz, the jury is out on you. See, you soft soaped yours. Just like some of the men, you only pulled the change out of your pocket. I mean, did you ever get in a realationship for all the wrong reasons? More so, can any of the fault of a breakup rest at your feet. Now I don't want to hear about your lack of voicing your needs. I want to hear about your screw-ups. Maybe you don't have any faults but.. Like you told me, I know you (somewhat) so tell us whats really on your mind. Hey, you kicked him out after 10 years but did love have anything to do with it?

FreeMan said...

@Carey - Yeah I'm alright I'm just putting it out there for this post!"Freeman my son, god be with you" LMBAO - man I didn't drop a tear I'm just saying for all that I have won in life I still lost on my way.MADAMAN FreeMan whuh? LOL

uglyblackjohn said...

@ Carey - Okay, which one?- The one I sent to England for a semester at college so I could have more time to cheat on her only to have her meet the guy she would marry.- The one who was my dream girl, but I had to get that last piece (from a girl I'd wanted to hit for a month) before settling for "The One" only to get caught because I gave her (the dream girl) the clap?- The one that was perfect in every way except she was only 5'6' (below my minimum 5'7" height minimum)? I was an ass to women - even the ones I truly loved. I had always assumed that it was always about me - but when the women would agree with that, I would get bored with them and try to find another conquest.So you see... three quick examples of "What NOT to do".

CareyCarey said...

Okay Uncle Black, when got to the part about the claps, I was done *lol*

Yes sir, it seems like you could write a book about F'in up. You've been a bad boy.*** okay boys and girls, don't do as Uncle Black does, do as he says... I think ***

Tha L said...

I like this Carey. Good lookin' out on reiterating the message so eloquently LOL! Now, what would I change about myself if I could go back? Hmm...although I don't believe in going back, I know it's so important to learn from the past. For the short time that I was married almost ten years ago, I was extremely bossy, selfish, and a huge clean freak. If I were to ever get married again, I would definitely have to continue working on those things. But honestly, I enjoy living alone too much, so that marriage thing may not be for me :-)

CareyCarey said...

*lol* @ Tha L, yeah reference your "eloquence" I had to come with a different flavor in this post. I tried not to talk all nasty and stupid :-)

I agree, sometimes going back is not the thang to do. But again, as you said, we should never forget the past. You know what, I've always lived with a clean freak and I love it. My mother was a domestic (cleaned white folks houses). My wife had a cleaning business. If I was reading the newspaper and walked away from it, she would fold it up and put it away. My present lady is the same way. If I sit still to long, she'd start polishing my forehead. So maybe it's a match made in heaven. I make the mess and then they are free to do their thang. Someone needs you Tha L *lol*

Anonymous said...

Carey, the thing I would most change is to be like you: more ready to recognise that I do have so many flaws.

CareyCarey said...

Thank you anonymous (I believe I know who you are). I think you also replied to the "reunion" post. I had to change or I would forever repeat my past. More so, I had to realize it wasn't about me. I have children that depend on me. Not financially, but as a way to overcome failures. It's been a process. I have not arrived but I truely believe I am working on chnaging, which require me to go deep.

Are you kidding me. Remember, I've been around the block for a long time, so I don't mess with Kola and she pays me back in kind. I've seen how she waxed yo head... and Thump's & Cyniques. No lord, Kola is my queen.

And stop it Troy, you tryin' to start something *smile*. You gotta know she's but a minute away from talking about how short you are. I remember that time she laid her titty on top of your head - while you both were standing up - and you had someone take y'alls picture. So don't get me or Kola, started.

"Carey, I guess I just have to accept that you view one's critique of some else as hatin' on that person or being very negative. I believe critique is a positive action."

And Again Troy, there you go again! You have consistantly tried to misrepresent my concerns and views. I am sure you read my previous posts, consequently where did I say I veiw all "critiques" as negative or hatin'. Granted, that is the core of my complaint - haters & and those that are overly negative - but again, if those types of individuals and opinions are removed from the equation, then yes, "critique could be a good thang. But unfortunately, that's not the way the cookie has been crumbling, and you know it. And regardless of how you try to minimize it - and although it's a colloquialism - we all know the definition of a hater. There's no balance in their "criticism" and nothing the other person could ever do will please them. A hater is a cronic cynic - to those they dislike - that bares qualities similar to a racist and/or someone who seldom admits guilt or wrong. At the very least, they will be hard pressed to justify their hatred of the other individual or thing. They will surely give "excuses" for their behavior, but those excuses will not justify their hateful ways or their dislike of the other person. The other person is generally damn if they do and damn if they don't. Then, there's the herd mentality; those individuals that follow the biggest ass, no matter where it might be heading.

So Troy, rather or not you care to admit it, "critique" "criticism" and "discussion" does not equate to "positive". Until you admit to that be the simple truth, I am left to wonder who's really swallowing the blue pill.

"Carey we are just talking here and exchanging ideas. I participate to have fun and to have my ideas challenged. If I'm am presented with new information or a different way to view things, it forces me reconsider my own position. Sometimes my views are bolstered, sometimes they are changed. In any event it forces me to think"

Yep, I agree. If not - if we ain't having fun - you owe me a lot of money, cuz you and your partner in crime have been working me :-)

And hopefully, it forces others to think. Yet, I am of the opinion that humans seldom change. Really, it does not happen on a regular basis.

DAMN!

Where is my list of evil words Cynique has called me. Oh, here it is. lets see, we're on word number 138, it follows old fart.... so lets add... your big, drooling, floppy mouth, and dumb-ass disciple's ass licker. Wow, I can't wait to see what 200 will bring.

"There are examples of this throughout all of recorded history. It is nothing new, it is human nature.

Realizing this, I completely understand the reaction that you and others will have to anything I have to negative to say about Obama. It is like challenging someone's believes in Jesus Christ is God -- that is a more than pointless exercise in futility"

Well Troy, since we've been doing this for over a decade, I know you will still kiss me in the morning, even though I have to tell you to miss me with that BS. That premise - that setup - is woefully faulty. That analogy does not speak to the nature of the "challenge", "criticism" nor "blame". I have never said one should not challenge authority. Nor have I ever said a person should not criticize their superiors. Check the books, I HAVE NEVER SAID THAT. My contention has always been that a wise man has a purpose and a plan when they decide to speak negatively of someone. Think about it. Lets say your wife or children did something that was not to your liking. Now, although I know the president is not your wife, would you think it's wise to vent your frustrations - of your family - to anyone "in range" of your words? More importantly, whomever you did decide to share your troubles with - concerning your family - wouldn't you think it wise to know who you are talking to, and then give them the absolute truth, and not some ambiguous bs? I mean, we are - you are - trying to support and help your family - right? Should the dynamic change for your president, who you claim to be supporting. If you look deep, I think the answer is right in front of you. I know you are trying to hold onto your opinion, but Troy, I know you undestand my position.

That exact mindset, in my opinion, should be used when voicing our "opinions" of our president. Until someone SHOWS me differently (nobody on this board ever has), I am thoroughly convince that the wanton banter and unsubstantiated opinions of president Obama, does more harm than good. NO ONE - I repeat - NOBODY on this board can bring me one iota of fruit from their labor of venting on Obama - or what they call criticism - other than an inflated ego. I am still waiting.

And Troy, I realize this is an open board,and thus, it's difficult to know your audience, but please spare "me" next time, before you decide to use the analogy of a dogma - such as a religion (someone's believes in Jesus Christ is God) - and the respect one should give to their president, or any human. Your analogy was nothing more than feel good fodder for the uninformed.

"Carey, as an aside, I never laughed at you"

Troy, you know I know. I too enjoy the word game thang. Heck, how long have we been doing this. This place is tame compared to other "Internet tussles" that I find myself in. Over here is a practice field. Cynique is always good for a good skirmish. So I come here (double -A-league) to horn my skills. Actually, coming here has help my writing skills. The writers - posters - that have stayed around, and those that drop-in, always seem to give me "ideas", word usage and phrasing that I can steal.

So, I am sure you know I've never taken any of the "slam dunks" personally. Where would I be if I didn't have Cynique spell-checking my every damn word. Damn, yesterday she even gave us the definition of an old maid. That sort of feedback is priceless *smile*.

"They just need skin thicker than tissue paper, a sense of humor, an opinion, a little technical expertise, and a slighly higher than average reading comprehension and writing skills.

Bingo! Although Prince wrote a song about it... CONTROVERSY, is not for everyone, and some folks never learn how to laugh... especially at themselves.

A-tisket, a-tasket, the old brown witch carrying her same old basket. Surely, you Cynique, don't think your contrived words were anything special? Don't fool yourself because I know it hurts. It's gotta hurt your soul that my definition of you and your propensity to drive people away is the truth.

Your stale retorts may tickle your toes, but in truth, they are simply stale and unoriginal. The Carol Burnett crowd may love them, but no-no nanette, don't fool yourself. Well, maybe that's exactly what you should do because it's working for you. That's right, sit under your bridge like the troll you are; someone who posts inflamatory, disruptive and extraneous remarks at aspiring young writers, to make yourself seem relevant - and proud.

God don't like ugly and your on deck.