Cynique

So, it’s Thanksgiving day, and I’m at my grandaughter’s place, settling down to dig into my full plate of turkey and all the trimmings, patiently explaining to an outside guest why a woman my age decided to get 2 tattoos over the past 7 years. When my oldest son off-handedly referred to me as the family matriarch, I almost choked on my sweet potatoes. Matriarch. The word sounded so sedate and sedentary, but as I looked around the gathering at my 3 sons, 2 daughters, 8 grand children and 3 great grandchildren, figures of all ages, sizes, shapes and colors, milling around the rooms, I was suddenly struck by the idea that if it wasn’t for me none of them would be here. Mommy/Nana was, indeed, a matriarch. Another identity in the characters I have been cast as over the years. Years that have culminated in my present state of avoiding the future, looking backward instead of forward, caught up in nostalgia, contemplating this thing called “life” and the thing called “time” that is such an integral part of it.

I ponder about the brain perk that makes long-ago occurrences seem like they just happened yesterday, how the weeks fly by and how memories can be triggered by a song, or a fragrance or a familiar sight.

Lately I keep thinking about my freshmen year at college, as reports of the deaths of so many of my school mates keep reaching me. And when Illinois completed its football season this year without winning one single game, I keep recalling how different things were 60 years ago when the U. of I. dominated the Big10, making history by taking first place in every major sport from football to fencing, a feat still touted by alumni from that era. Better scenarios cheer me as my old high school has maintained its winning tradition while turning out NBA stars like Doc Rivers and Michael Finley and Shannon Brown, players I remember as little boys in grade school.

Family get-togethers are always an occasion to fondly recall loved ones who have passed on as in, yet another mystery, they seem to be present in spirit as though their essences are able to shift between parallel dimensions.

What captivates me most, however, is how vivid the imagination can be, how easily the past can become a movie scene played on the screen of my mind’s eye. But what a downer it is when I am constantly reminded that although I am the same person I’ve always been, my body didn’t get the memo, a reality that calls up the relationship between time and change. Does time really exist or is it an illusion abetted by change? Is the past still there or does it disappear as soon as the present defers to the future. What is truth? Is it contained in the words of Edgar Allen Poe who declared “all that we see or seem is just a dream within a dream…” or in the musing of Langston Hughes who opines that “It is wise to suffer illusion…Delusion…Even dreams…To believe that in this life…What is real…May also be what it seems. What is not true…May be…For you…

Language in its inadequacy can only attempt to explain what is what it is.

And so it goes.

Hip-hop soap opera would be a more accurate description. RKelly has done for drama what Tyler Perry did for comedy; tapped into an audience that identifies with a ghetto lifestyle that features a lot of simple-minded hystrionics.

I guess I'm out of the mainstream. As a person whose writing aspirations had been bogged down and inhibited by a manual typewriter, carbon paper and white out, I was inspired to self-published not by any of the pioneers mentioned. Hustling writers had nothing to do with my motivation. It was being introduced to a word processsor! This magical, marvelous machine made everything sooo easy. It was like having your own personal secretary. As soon as I got the hang of one, I was good to go!

Pedophiles are apparently helpless when it comes to controlling urges to tickle young innocents, which is why they are easy marks for extortion by the victims who outgrown their appeal The 2 characters who outed poor ol Elmo were probably motivated by The Penn state debacle, not to mention a hunger for attention and money. Both accusers looked like weirdos, and one of em had a rather shady past.

High profile men who get caught with their pants down, bringing disgrace and embarassment to themselves and their families, while jeopradizing their jobs, are also unable to resist an urge to revert to behavior that is reminiscent of horny high-schoolers.

Sex certainly pervades every facet of life; molestation and adultery and hook-ups and porn. This little blue planet is just one big orgasmic forest, populated by nymphs and satyrs, predators and preys. Good grief! (Is that an oxymoron?? )

Everybody seems to be touting Hillary. She certainly has accumulated the credentials. In the present, however, she seems weary and burnt out. But if she resigns as secretary of state, that will allow her some R&R time. The only problem is that in 2016 she'll be 69 years old, and there's no guarantee she won't be on the brink of dementia.

A woman president would be the next logical sequence after a black one. And a smart move would be for her to choose a Hispanic running mate. Eat your heart out, Pat Buchanan.

Or can we discount the possibility that a Jew will run for president and select a gay person to be the vice-president.

No need to anticipate an Asian president because China is already underwriting America.

It finally occurred to me that when it comes to the subject of whether or not writers should get paid for their work, I can speak with some degree of relevancy because of what I voluntarily did for free on the Cynique’s Corner site.

After an ebook project I signed on with crashed and burned due to problems with implementation, I approached Troy about doing my own version of its concept. He graciously consented, and since he was doing me a favor by allowing me to serialize my book on a chapter-a-week basis, it never occurred to me to expect payment for this. I just thought it would be fun. And it was. I had no idea what the response would be to this updated version of a book I self-published 15 years ago, but I figured what did I have to lose? Well,- I don’t know how many people actually read the 22 chapters that I posted, but in regard to the number of hits, I’d estimate that I averaged about 60 a week.

The original run of this paperback was 150 units. Selling copies for 5 bucks a pop at a few local fairs and venues, I got rid of about 100 over a 2-year period. But did I care? Not really. Self-publishing a novel includes total control, and this allows you to play God and create your own little world and your own characters and your own plots. What more can a mere mortal ask for? Positive feed back? I got that, too.

Going waay back to the early 1970s, my prodigious letter-writing to editors, earned me a regular column in a Chicago newspaper. As a free lancer, I was given a 25-dollar savings bond for each article I submitted. I never expected to be paid when I requested my own by-line. I just wanted a forum for telling off white people during a racially-charged era when they needed to be put in check. My reward? How the newspaper was bombarded with letters from irate readers, complaining about “that nigger bitch troublemaker”. I loved it! So did the editors who regularly printed censored versions of some of the more outrageous responses. Several years later at a hometown achievers banquet, I was given a plaque for speaking out against racism. Money? No. Just appreciation from my peers.

I’ve never considered myself a serious writer and my lackluster book covers and absence of a marketing plan attested to this. I wrote because I was fulfilled by the creative process. This is not to say that I would turn down any money someone offered to pay me. But when it came to writing books, the joy was more in the journey, than the destination.

I don’t expect everybody to take this approach. To each his own. Fame and fortune is a powerful incentive. But I can say, that when it comes to my writing endeavors, I’ve never been disappointed.

Once again Romney has proven how out of touch he is. In his latest sour grapes rationale, he blames Obama's re-election on the "gifts" he promised to Blacks and Mexicans and women and young people, overlooking that he, himself, offered gifts to the 1% he represents. The gratutity he promised to the rich was no tax increase. And to add insult to injury, he bestowed on the beleaguered middle class the privilege of shouldering the burden of the wealthy, hoping to hoodwink them into thinking that by enabling the upper class to keep its money, others would benefit. Or is it as if corporate America isn't the biggest beneficiary of the welfare gift so despised by the Republicans.

Entitlement is a bitch. It is what motivates people to believe that who they are, automatically qualifies them to preferential treatment in the course of having their wishes and demands fulfilled. This mind-set is prevalent among the rich but applies in many cases to the poor, as well as the young. But the rich don't only talk it, they can walk it. Those in the middle are just shit outta luck, or "s-o-l" as we used to say, back in the day.

Romney and company have been thwarted because they were too full of themselves. Now they can't believe that they got beat at their own deceptive game. Payback is also a bitch.

And as the great American experiment plays itself out, and capitalism maintains its grip, the idea that this country is a democracy continues to be a joke. The electoral college belies this claim, considering how it voids millions of votes. And as far as "all men being created equal", forget it. A white baby born with a silver spoon is his mouth is way ahead of the game when it comes to a black baby born with crack in his veins. Even the probability of this happening favors the rich, thanks to the ramifications of the racism that shouldn't exist in a democracy. Others claim that America is actually a republic -. as in Republican; the party of the rich.

The American dream? Lotsa luck. But, like the ol song goes, "...aint we got fun? The rich get richer, and the poor get children." And these children, who are concentrated in the great population centers of the electorlal map, can vote. Take that, Mitt Romney! A black man is still sitting in the white house. A moral victory is better than a humiliating defeat, as you have proven.

An era came to an end today. Hostess Bakeries went out of business. Another icon has bitten the dust and disappeared in a cloud of flour. Rest in peace, Twinkies and Ho-Hoes and Wonder Bread. First Romney's defeat, and now this. Another casualty for white America. What's next Miracle Whip Mayonnaise?

Pass the hot sauce, please.

Price is not necessarily an indication of a book's quality. A lot of self-published authors are trying to make their money back, so they charge too much for a book that doesn't measure up. And, there's always the danger of pricing one's self out of the market when you try to appeal to people who shun "cheap" things. Everybody likes a bargain.

Hickson keeps comparing books to merchandize, where the quality is obvious because you can inspect and assess what you're buying. But, as the saying goes, "you can't judge a book by its cover".

I always figure the appeal of a 99 cent e-book is that if you don't like it, you can always say "well, I'm only out of a dollar".

One thing I've noticed about self-published books is that the longer the bio is, the less anxious I am to read the book. People that turn what should be short and sweet into a long resume always strike me as being more impressed with themselves than their book merits. Case in point: you, "Writergirl", are not guilty of this and you're a good writer. You never know, you might be a black Emily Dickenson. Nobody appreciated her genius until after she died and all of her poems were found and later published

What came to my mind, Troy, was something like a small literary publication which invited its readers to submit their work for an anthology being compiled. Your reward would be having what you submitted accepted by the staff, and having what you wrote read by its subscribers.

To me, it has to do with how you classify yourself. Let's just bypass the artsy-fartsy philosophy and simply offer as a synonym for "dilettante", the word "amateur"; a person who is the opposite of a professional. Amateurs do what they do because they love it and maybe don't want to do it for a living.

If you graduated from college with a degree in journalism, then you will seek employment as a writer. If wriiting is simpy a creative passtime for you, then monetary compensation is not your primary goal. And many authors who are successful have been known not to want their work commercialized in another medium.

There are people to whom money isn't everything when it comes to their artistic integrity. And sometimes it isn't, when it requires you to sell your soul.

Writing can also be a form of therapy.

The question you posed, has no correct answer.

Well, my copy of "The Devil in Silver" arrived today. I'm revving up my motor to plow through it. It's 406 pages.

The Gospel according to Acharya is standard reading for all the "free thinkers" out there. It was recommended to me by a guy who, incidentally, - refers to himself as a - free thinker.

I'm finding it interesting and plausible. It doesn't require the blind faith that calls for one to believe in miracles.

To me, it all depends on whether writing is your profession. I subscribe to the classic "ars gratia artis" school of thought; art for the sake of art. Kinda like an amateur athete playing a sport for a love of the game. The same with musicians. Getting paid for doing what one loves to do is icing on the cake.There are dilettantes in all areas of endeavor.

Actually, readers should be paid to read a lot of the stuff put out for public consumption, and the expression of "don't quit your day job" has gained popularity because it's so apt when it comes to all the people who think financial compensation is an automatic entitlement for anybody who can string a bunch of sentences together. Serious writers know that writing can be a thankless task. Being a wanna-be isn't a lucrative pursuit.

Here's a copy of an e-mail from a writing team whose books I have enjoyed over the years.

DeBerryandGrant.com November 15, 2012

Would you believe that your glowing recommendation for "The Devil in Silver" inspired me to send away for it? So checking it out tops my to-do list. Hope I can get my reading groove back on when I get my copy.

Meanwhile, I 'm picking up and putting down a nonfiction book entitled: "The Gospel according to Acharya". Kind of an alternative to the Bible, dissecting the Christian version, and examining how the message and characters in the Bible have their counter-parts in many different religions, and how the universal essence of all beliefs just reiterates the golden rule and the healing power of love. When it comes to prayer, it is relegated to the realm of meta-physics which explains it as being a form of auto-suggestion that incorporates positive thinking and taps into a universal force that can be channelled through deep concentration and meditation, - and yada, yada, yada. I buy into whatever resonates with me from all the different interpretations of a higher power.

Thanks to technical advances and a shift in culture, the self publishing alternative has taken on a life of its own. Who needs the big conglomerate mergers to get a book out there? Today anybody with a little disposable income can finance their dream of seeing their words made available for public consumption. The term "author" has lost its distinction and writing skills and talent have become irrelevant. Never has self-expression had it so good, and once "writers" use all the enabling resources available, they can have their finished product critiqued by those who, likewise, require no credentials, except the confidence to declare themselves "reviewers".

But, whatever. It's a sign of the times, typical of a society that has spawned FaceBook And Twitter and "Keeping up with the Kardashians". And it's not like those at the top are exhibiting any ability for running the country.

Sorry, Troy. From time to time my cynicism requires a fix, even as I plead guilty to my own accusations.

Never underestimate the power of the enemy. The rich Republican hierarcy is making plans to fall back and re-group, planning to learn from their mistakes. Obama may not be for sale, but senators and congressmen are and if they can be bribed then, in effect, the government will be bought, as the documentary suggested. That being the case, the president is in danger of once again being nothing more than someone who inspires pity on the part of his empathetic supporters.

The scandal that has gripped America's highest ranking military and security officers is an indication that adultery pervades all levels of society, transending race and rank and religion. The lure of the forbidden fruit that lies between a woman's legs can turn any man into a dog. Thus has it ever been, and it won't change, because boys will be boys.

Elsewhere in this sinful world, the "to err is human but to forgive is divine" crowd is alive and well and, in this case, - stupid!

I

I'm a firm believer in time being the great equalizer. Things gradually evolve as the exception becomes the norm and, one day, without realizing it, change will have inevitably occurred, swept ashore by the tides of time that overwhelm "the best laid plans of mice and men".

The fall of the Roman Empire was a slow process that ended not with a shout, but with a whimper, the dying gasp of a mighty force that came together and - fell apart. The twilight of the gods is on the horizon and night will fall on the United States of America. Only time will determine whether the dawn of a new day will be for the better or for the worse...

Here's another controversial article.

Cornel West: Obama Is A ‘Rockefeller Republican In ‘Blackface;’ Sharpton, Harris-Perry, Dyson Are Up For Sale newsone.com

In an interview with Amy Goodman of “Democracy No

I pasted and cut the Pat Buchanan article verbatim. I got to it with a face book link. Elsewhere, on the net there were articles saying that Fox Commentators Bill O'Reilly and Republican strategist Bill Morris essentially agreed with Buchanan, declaring that Obama's election is the beginning of the end for white America.

Matt Henson was a member of the expedition to the South Pole. Mt. Everest is in Nepal in Tibet and Sir Edmund Hillary was the first to reach the top of it. Whatever. As to other claims made by Buchanan, as the saying goes, the victors are the ones who get to write history. He was so irrational, ol Pat may have been drinking when he did this interview. Apparently the idea of white people losing ground is very discombobulating to the guy.

Regarding Petraeus, as head of the CIA, he set himself up for blackmail by engaging in an extra-marital affair and secret information could've been compromised. This was especially relevant with the CIA being criticized over the murders in the American Embassy in Libya...

It may be over, but it ain't done as the media and the internet are still abuzz with post mortems about the result of the presidential election. Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel minced no words in a Fox News interview, when he told Sean Hannity to "shut the f**k up, you lost!". My kind of guy. Another one of the more interesting reactions was that of a FaceBook poster, who opined:

"While Romney lost, the Republicans outperformed in the Congressional elections. One would have expected many more losses with a victorious Democratic President, but there were basically no "coat tails" to Obama's victory...the Congressional Republicans are, if anything, more "conservative" than Romney tried to be. This seems to imply that it is not the policies that were rejected, but that Romney was rejected personally, or that people personally like Obama, even as they disagree with some of his policies and, thus, elect a Congress designed to thwart him. This election, in my view, does little to tell us about policy, as it was, essentially, a draw."

A thought-provoking article that appeared in the Daily Currant on November 7th.

"Conservative political pundit Pat Buchanan stoked controversy today by claiming that Barack Obama's reelection has 'killed White America'.

The paleoconservative nativist is no stranger to racial controversy, having previously been accused of writing books with racist and anti-semitic undertones.

But the former Nixon advisor was more explicit on the G. Gordon Liddy Show this morning. When asked for his reaction to Obama's victory, Buchanan replied brazenly:

"White America died last night. Obama's reelection killed it. Our 200 plus year history as a Western nation is over. We're a Socialist Latin American country now. Venezuela without the oil."

Stunned by his clear racisim, Liddy tried to walk his guest back from the ledge:

"With what you just said right there...You seem to imply that white people are better than other people. That's not really what you're saying is it?"

"Of course that's what I'm saying," Buchanan replied "Isn't it obvious? Anything worth doing on this Earth was done first by white people."

"Who landed on the moon? White people. Who climbed Mount Everest? White people. Who invented the transistor? White people. Who invented paper? White people. Who discovered algebra? White people."

"And don't give me all this nonsense about Martin Luther King and civil rights and all that. Who do you think freed the slaves? Abraham Lincoln. A white guy!"

"But we're not led by Lincoln anymore, we're led by an affirmative-action mulatto who can't physically understand how great America once was."

"I cried last night G. I cried for hours. It's over for all of us. The great White nation will never survive another 4 years of Obama's leadership"

Liddy tried to reason with Buchanan, reminding him that he shares similar positions with the President on Afghanistan, Iraq, and relations with Russia:

"Of course I agree with half of what he does," Buchanan answered, "He's half white! That's not the half I'm worried about."

Buchanan served as a speechwriter in the Nixon White House. He was fired as an MSNBC analyst this year following the publication of a book many considered to be racist."

A side bar of the presidential election.

The resignation of CIA Director David Petraeus, a four-star general who led U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Iraq and was thought to be a potential candidate for president has once again raised the question as to why men disgrace themselves, sacrificing everything, career, reputation, family, future just to sample a different brand of nookie... Power and prestige cannot stifle the primitive urge of the male of the species to lust after a female. Some can resist consummating their desire. Others can't. So long, Dave. Hope our esteemed President Obama fares better than you and can declare that he has "99 problems, but a bitch ain't one of 'em."

I appreciate your explanation, Troy, because it's literal, not figurative. Simply put, I guess the rich are the ruling class. Everybody else is a pawn. I still can quite process who benefits from the 911 attacks, but it apparently doesn't matter. We have to learn to live with what we can't change and - try to acculmulate our own little financial stash so we can exploit somebody less privileged than we are. A sad commentary on the world we live in.

Well, Mark Owen, the Navy seal who participated in the raid and subsequent killing of Osama has written a best seller entitled 'No Easy Day" and in it he describes what all happened. Incidentally, he has been discharged from this elite group for breaking its code of silence. He claims Osama was totally surprised, did not resist, but was gunned because no chances could be taken. He also said one reason he spoke out was because he didn't want President Obama to use what happened to promote his re-election by taking all the credit for getting rid of America's main nemises. I suppose all of this could be cited by conspiracy buffs as - being a conspiracy to divert suspicion.

My immediate reaction to Leroi Jones' poem was, "OK, I give, Who is whooooooooo??????" Who are the sinister ubiquitous "they" who are all in cahoots to deceive and control and profit - and are presumably ensconced somewhere in a hideway carved in the side of a moutain, all there plotting and scheming to take over.

Present company excluded, - So many conspiracy theorists impress me as being a certain caliber - often malcontented , usually paranoid, - loners who think they are too savvy to have anything put over on them. Other guilible people may fall for what the powers-that-be want them to believe but, aha, not them! These types have it all figured out, certain that the omnipresent "they" exist and will stop at nothing to gain control.

Corruption is a reality but - I don't think those guilty of it are united, mostly because they are in competition and are too treacherous to trust one another.

But, whatever. People will believe what they want to and who knows what the actual truth is??????????

Actually, Troy, not all jazz purists are fans of Dave Brubeck's music. Their main problem with it being that it's too structured, and that he and saxophonist Paul Desmond engaged in too much classical baroque contra point and not enough improvising. But during the 50s which was when this group began its ascent to fame, this style was what appealed to jazz neophytes who were turned off by the be-bop which was also the rage during the early 50s, because to them be-bop was just a lot of frenetic noise. And on big 10 college campuses, Brubeck was the man. Doo-Wop was just as popular on black college campuses.

I always liked Brubeck and Paul Desmond because their renditions were melodious, starting out slow and then crescendoing into a climax. They didn't originate this appoach and Desmond's lyrical saxophone stylings harked back to black saxophonists like Lester "Prez" Young. Here's another jazz treatment of a classic old ballad.

http://youtu.be/hC2LL7aaYgY

Man, that's some good stuff, Troy! Anything that deals with truth and reality is my cup of tea. I especially appreciate having 2 points of view to consider. This allowed me to distill what resonated with me, and contemplate the criticism that I didn't agree with. Naturally, I dug all that material in regard to religion and paganism.

The problem I always have with conspiracy theories is that their being true would have to require the complicity of so many people. And they lend themselves to romanticizing; the idea of Big Brother or an evil cabal of men is always at the core of these alleged plots.

For almost 50 years people have been debating the assassination of JFK, with clearer heads claiming that this was such a monumental event that many people couldn't wrap their minds around the idea that it was a fluke, - the desperate act of one social misfit. There's also a community of conspiracy buffs who claim the moon landing was a fake, a ploy to outshine Russia in the space race, a deception which would've required all the thousands of people who worked for NASA to have been in on. Others claimed that FDR knew in advance about the plans of Japan to inititate a sneak attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, but that he looked the other way because going to war would jump start the sluggish U.S. economy trying to recover from the Depression. Over 50,000 young sons of America lost their lives in WW II. Would a U. S. President really have been a party to this??

The killing of Osama bi Ladin seems to neutralize a lot of the claims about 911 being a conspiracy. Who are these people who want to oppress Americans by using the threat of terrorism to take away their freedoms??? The nebulous mysterious Illuminati? Who really benefits from this?

It really takes an overview to assess truth and reality. There's a truth, and then there is the whole truth. I alway reference the 3 blind men and the elephant analogy; the first blind man upon touching the elephant described it as having rough skin, the next one said it had a little tail, and the third one declared it had a big trunk. They were all telling the truth, just not the entire truth.

When it comes to reality I always look for a parallel in nature or science. And that quantum physics phenomenon that blows my mind and involves not being able to believe your eyes because an image will change when you look away from it, raises questions about the nature of reality. Then there's how an environment allows animals to become invisible by camouflaging them. One person's reality can be another's imagination. A snake in the grass can catch you off guard.

I'm ignorant when it comes to high finance but the theories about funds being controlled by devious greedy bankers doesn't sound so far-fetched.

It's a crazy world, not always what it seems. There is an underworld. The truth is the light but Mankind has a dark side.