NubianFellow

@Troy I love the Afro on her! Very pretty! I also enjoyed reading the article. The truth is, I don't think there is anything laughable about our hair in its natural state. I don't feel that just because we are wearing our hair natural means we have something to prove. I believe the opposite. When we reject our natural hair and embrace hair that is not ours, then we probably have something more to prove. And I get it. Black people don't own enough black businesses. What this means is that in order for many of us to get ahead in a corporate or office atmosphere, it may be more safe to wear a weave or a wig because like back in slavery, unless black people modify themselves, then us just being who we are can be deemed very offensive. Isn't that why they shoot us like wild animals? Funny thing is we can't win either way (or maybe that's the not-so-funny thing). But in our neighborhoods and schools, it's become social suicide for black women to embrace their natural hair. They get teased by their peers and called racist names, only instead of by white people, by other black people now. It appears that we have socially graduated to mirror a supremacist way of thinking. Self-hatred has been engineered into our culture, subtly. Time and time again I have witnessed young black women wear ugly, stupid looking weaves cover up their own hair which was actually gorgeous and long underneath. It's not like a lot of these women who wear hair hats can't grow their own hair naturally. They call it protective hair styling but I have seen far more damage done to their unattended natural hair due to wearing weaves and wigs. Women who do not wear "protective hairstyles" don't seem to have the same problems as those who do - which is why they are not actually protective hairstyles at all. For them to be protective, they would have to actually protect the hair. Yet, all too many times, we have seen interesting things underneath these "protective hairstyles." Of course, many women who wear weaves still attend to their natural hair underneath it all, but that doesn't justify them wanting to hide it. I think it's time to delve into what this discussion is actually about. No sense in dancing around it any more. If we don't understand what "supremacy" is then discussions about empowerment will not go anywhere. "The state or condition of being superior to all others in authority, power, or status." If a man waltzed into a society of people who looked nothing like them and they were convinced that he was the standard of beauty they should possess, then that would be an example of how supremacy works. When people are convinced that they are inadequate in some way as it relates to someone else, then that is supremacy. But supremacy cannot exist without inferiority. In order for white supremacy to exist, there has to be cooperation from the people who are subjected to it. Without this cooperation, supremacy won't be able to exist since it is based on behavior and thinking. I do believe that the energy and focus needs to go on our children. The adult's views and reasoning is not likely to change, regardless of any evidence shared of why this behavior is a reflection in the black community of how well white people have dominated us and have controlled our thinking and behavior. We assumed that slavery ended, but in reality we understand that the system or the idea behind slavery has not ended at all. Neither has the mentality of our people that have endured the psychological and systemic after-effects of chattel slavery. Today, many of our problems are due to how we think. Once that behavior changes, then there will be hope for us.

@Troy That's a good point brother! There are none that I am aware of. They way I see it, black people have reported racism on Facebook and even coined the term, "Facebook jail," which makes reference to being on a plantation that they don't want to escape from because they love the plantation so much! Add in the desire for inclusion and the need for validation which was actually the key concept behind the idea of Facebook in the first place, and you have a network that black people will fight to be on and create various profiles on so when their profiles get suspended, they don't miss out on the action! Facebook is powerful because it's psychological. Add in the fact the "woke ones" using Facebook create "private" groups where they talk about white supremacy and even discuss ways to stay off the radar -- (on Facebook! Lol) and you can observe very interesting behavior. People then denounce Facebook while they ignore all other possibilities and even build up a false hype that protests Facebook with their fists waved proudly and express their desire for black social networks. The problem is that when the few of them that actually do join these "black" networks sign up, they actually expect these sites to mirror Facebook or Twitter in popularity and quantity of people on these websites (unless they are simply trolling the networks). And 99 percent or more of them will not promote these websites for free. Disappointed, they return back to their plantation and the cycle repeats. The main thing Facebook and Twitter likes and shares provide at the moment is validation. Once you can include the fact that you have tons of shares and likes on Facebook, you are instantly validated. The problem with black social networks, I believe, is more of a behavioral issue. Though there is a small group of black people who are actually sincere about supporting black social networks, the percentage seems to small to have an impact. I have also noticed that our social behavior has changed dramatically since Black Planet and Black Voices reigned supreme on the internet. I won't judge whether it is a good or bad thing but one thing I believe I am certain of is that most will not abandon their white friends and followers on mainstream social media to attend a less populated "black-only" website in the name of empowerment. They want inclusion. The only way I see a major black website taking off is if black people get their stuff together. A team of empowered black individuals need to lead the movement, fully organized and dedicated to their cause. They need a powerful network and specific tasks appointed to the most qualified individuals for each task. All of those involved in the team should have experience and some type of success using a blogging platform or have some talent or skill they can contribute. With the right team and organization, anything is possible. I could be wrong, but the way in which most black websites are networked seem too small which is a huge problem for those websites. Once a website becomes relevant enough, I am sure people will use the share functionality because for them it's going to be all about getting eyeballs. But that network's presence needs to be strong enough to show it is a valuable resource. In order for black websites to be on top, they need to be ran similar to corporations. We need to become excited about the concept of building and discover our true potential. The opportunity definitely exists. There is so much building to do and I believe we can eventually create our own version of the internet which runs our own algorithms that is based on our own needs and behavior. But being organized like how the military is organized when they go into battle is a requirement. We also need to understand the psychology of what we are dealing with. On my own platform, someone has copied the share code to their own website that made it possible for people to share content from their own website to my platform.

@Cynique Thank you very much for the compliment queen. I took it down because the video wasn't related to the discussion. I did want to show that I am a real black man who is very passionate about the views I express. These types of discussions are necessary to have and I think it's good that we can agree and disagree with each other. There is still a strong black pride movement and black hair movement. These ideas are catching on in other parts of the world. This is how powerful we are as a people. We influence billions of other black people from all around the planet. That's why I am betting on Africans who are from America to wake up first. I believe that once we get our acts together, others will follow our lead as they have been doing since we were kidnapped and bought over here as prisoners of war. Black people have never had the opportunity to brainwash each other, only resist brainwashing that was done to us. We have never controlled any of these forms of power in this country and we still don't control any of it. And once a black business acquires too much influence and power, they disappear or sell out. The idea of white supremacy is so powerful that in Africa they face the same low self esteem and need for validation that our people face over here. Even places like Nigeria where they validate weaves, wigs and skin lightening creams. Black people on this planet are actually sacrificing the ability to walk around in and enjoy the sun so they can watch their white bleached skin decay in the dark shade. These people have many views that defend their behavior. They will tell us it's a fashion statement and nothing is wrong. But something is wrong with this line of thinking. I have seen videos of black women who take off their weaves and show their gorgeous, long, black textured hair underneath the stupid looking weaves and by the time they get rid of the bugs, lice and dandruff, it is amazing that they wanted to cover their hair up in the first place. It's indeed a sickness. I believe that we are sick and we need help. We have all been through so much and as a collective. We are not well. We may never get well, but our kids deserve to. I think that's where the focus needs to be at. That's who I believe deserves to be empowered the most. We need to reach our kids before anyone ever has a chance to corrupt them. That may be the only way to fix all of this.

@Chevdove Yes, I believe that the popularity of weaves and wigs in the black community are a crime. As far as ancient egypt goes, I don't really give it much power. But it is ours and we must recognize that and always remember what we have accomplished. We should not disrespect each other. In the story you presented, I feel the black gentleman was out of place by telling you he didn't like your hair. I would never tell a queen that I don't like her hair. I simply would ignore it. His tactic was ineffective and weak. He later had to correct his poor behavior by telling you that he liked your hair, which may have been against his agenda. Nothing positive comes from negative behavior. If he had not said anything to you about your hair, he would not have had to correct himself later. He should have ignored all the flattery you got from Indian, White and other non-black men and expected them to embrace black women more when black women cover up their true beauty and disguise their appearance to look more like them. As for the black men, they were not empowered and have adapted the same ideologies as those who oppose us in our natural state. If these men were truly empowered they should have protested the white supremacy behavior and not gave in to the social construct. The fact that it took you to disguise your appearance for them to compliment you is a prime example of how white supremacy works in my humble opinion. You were rewarded with compliments for adapting to a beauty that is inferior to your own. I would never tell a queen that her appearance is inadequate. I just don't give poor judgement any power or relevance. It's less about appearance for me and more about thinking. But it would have been an opportunity and pleasure for me to compliment you when you wore your hair naturally. You would have received no feedback for wearing weave or a wig from me. We have many issues in the black community. How we perceive beauty is one issue. The fact that our kids choose white dolls over black dolls is an example of how inferior we are socially. Yet, even though the evidence is there that we suffer from self hate, parents still raise their children to embrace beauty standards they were not meant to embrace. We teach our kids to hate themselves and adopt European beauty standards. Yes, crime is a problem. But if a child is taught to hate themselves, what behavior might they possess? Might they be compelled more easily to kill each other and value their own lives less while they go out of their way not to harm anyone else who doesn't look like them? For instance, there are videos on YouTube of black gang members hanging out with white supremacists and embracing the general lee flag. It's not surprising to me at all. And since their views about their own culture and appearance are skewed, might they adopt other weird behavior as well, such as sagging their pants and showing their cracks to the world? Our behavior is linked. I believe that once black people learn to appreciate their own true beauty, then that will uproot the circumstances of black people across the globe. @Cynique Old enough to know better than to answer that question. lol

@Chevdove The shaming is something that is happening and will continue to happen. This is being done collective and is apart of our social behavior. Though it's not a tactic I personally use, I do feel that sometimes it is warranted and perhaps necessary. Don't you remember? Back in the 80's black men had to see themselves and needed to be shamed for wearing Jerry curls and perms. Shaming has power in the black community. One day Jerry Curls were the thing and selling out, and the next day they were calling them "Sweet Chucks." Hell, I got teased for having one and I never put any chemicals in my hair - ever. You know J-Curls were out of style when Ice Cube got rid of his. And the thing about J-Curls is that it doesn't make the hair look Caucasian. Jerry Curl's seem to relax the curls that black people naturally have, so not the same as actually wearing weave but perhaps just as bad putting chemicals in the hair. I am happy those chemical products went out of style. If you can point out any instance of me shaming anyone, then please point that out so I can apologize. It is never my intention to purposely shame my brother's or sisters in friendly conversation. I apologize if I shamed anyone. I don't go around shaming black women but at times I can be opposing to popular social behavior and I feel that as a black man I am permitted to judge black people about their behavior, good or bad. And believe it or not, the conversation is healthy and does provoke thought and wisdom. You would be surprised how effectively we can open up how people think - women who actually listen to and take in what's being said and then decide they are going natural, just because of an intelligent and civil conversation. I saw a story on the news a while ago where a Blood was speaking out on camera. He was talking against the media and how they choose what to report on about their gang activity. He complained that the media only focused on the innocent kids and mothers that they killed as well as all other types of victims. He said that the good that this gang does is never reported on and that was his complaint. Imagine a cold blooded killer who wants the media to focus on the good they do instead of the fact that they kill innocent people. There are many great attributes black women have but unfortunately, the fact that they wear weaves and wigs 98 percent of the time is something worth having a conversation about in the black community. If we are trying to raise our children to be militant and ready for the world, we don't want them growing up with the same self esteem issues our people have suffered for centuries - since we were kidnapped and held captive as prisoners of war who were forced to serve savage beings.

@Cynique White people have definitely capitalized off our swag in every way imaginable. Whoever thought that battle rap, which was the most street and urban thing you could do as a black child in my era, would be turned into a multi billion dollar franchise that is ran fully by white people? I would find that amusing if I wasn't a black child who grew up in that era. But for some reason, I feel like black people gravitate towards non-black, which very well could be for the reasons that @Pioneer1 stated. There are many noticeable shortcomings when dealing with many black businesses. I have had my share of negative experiences though I must say, most of my experiences where not that bad. The environments in some black owned businesses does appear to be more relaxed at times. I believe that it is still important to patronize black businesses and this is not an emotional decision but an intellectual one. Too much money leaves our hands and never returns. This is something that needs to be corrected. I once saw a movie with Italians going to have a pizza. I can't remember the name of the movie but the Italian gangsters were talking about killing the owner of the restaurant. One of them asked why they were still eating the pizza from his shop if he was such a creep and the Italian gangster replied, "We always support our own no matter what!" Deep.

@Delano Dear brother, I think anything that challenges popular views and culture is definitely 100 percent conscious! I am only presenting a viewpoint that is unpopular in the black community during this present time, but the conversation is only getting started. I get it. We are told to leave our women's hair alone and not mention it or bring it up. And many black women are determined to defend wearing weave. I understand the social behavior all too well. I still like presenting ideas that challenge people's thinking. Some of the things expressed to me may actually change my own perception further down the road. I may be able to reflect on this specific conversation and say to myself, "I get it now." I haven't reached that point yet but I am aware that I have not finished growing and learning. My reality changes daily based on how I choose to perceive the world around me. Black women have always been on the front line for black men and black men have always led. I believe that once that becomes compromised, then it is not a good sign. I also believe that at the end of the day, black women choose to be led. Before we engage in any war that doesn't involve us as a collective, we will lose any other war. Therefore, we have to choose our battles wisely. On the war about belief and ideology, the monster we call the internet is a powerful tool. I believe the internet alone is responsible for the new awakening that black people seem to be witnessing across the board and it's a beautiful thing. Today, black people are questioning things they wouldn't have known about nor had the opportunity to know about 20 years ago. There is so much information and ideas online that we feed each other. I believe it's a good thing though it can also be confusing at times because we are presented with so many contrasting viewpoints. I believe I am able to witness something that has never been witnessed before. I believe change is happening and I'm pretty sure it's for the best. Young kids are fed up with gangsta rap music. Finally, gang bangers are being referred to as the real sellouts. The democratic party is being challenged. Black people are talking about going to Africa and building and investing. Relations between Africans and African Americans along with other Diaspora Africans seem to be improving. I think we are in the middle chapters of an amazing book that will contain amazing history and I am happy to experience it and be apart of it. Belief and ideology are the principles that define black people. Our culture is what roots us. I believe it has always been about belief and ideology. I believe that these are the seeds planted that enable us to grow.

@Cynique I am not offended sista. You look great! Hey, weave is not my thing and when I protest it I am mainly focused on young black girls who do suffer from poor self esteem issues. Perhaps this is because I have young black girls in my family that I genuinely care about and want to empower them to the fullest extent. Will I be happy once weaves become a less common practice? Absolutely! Do I understand that there are a variety of reasons why some women choose to wear weaves? Yes. Truthfully, it's not so much about standing up to white folks as it is about black people loving who they are. I think that is needed in the fights we have ahead. I could care less about getting white people to treat us more fairly. I don't believe that will bring about any real change. I think there are things we can do and should do ourselves that will move us much farther ahead. Your hair doesn't offend me but I am sorry if my question offended you, as that was not my intention, nor my intention behind my intention. Though I believe that black women rely too heavily on weave and wish that wasn't the case, I have no problem with women who embrace weaves. I think this may also be a generational thing as well. Your reasons for wearing weave could have solid reasonable explanation. In most cases, I don't believe that sound judgement is involved in women who feel the need to wear weaves. At the end of the day, I am only a guy with an opinion and a viewpoint. Do you sis!

@Delano I do respect everyone's choices. But if we don't challenge each other's opinions, critique views and gain different perspectives to form new insight, then there is no need for black people to ever talk about issues that we face collectively. Can I not respect someone while I challenge their ideas at the same time? We are adults here and not sensitive children who get triggered every time we disagree with someone else. That's why I feel comfortable engaging with my people about these kinds of issues and giving my opinion as well. Let's face it, brother, if I didn't feel comfortable engaging with my people in this manner, it would be because I felt that it was pointless and were doomed. But we are listening to each other's opinions and gathering information. In my book, that's very progressive. I can only hope that other's will be open minded as well as we attempt to understand more about our collective behavior. I have read all of your posts and comments on this subject and have reflected on every statement you have made as well and have been impacted by your views, regardless of whether or not I agree with them. Isn't this the beauty of us being able to shoot the breeze by engaging in these types of discussions? At the end of the day we are all mature and intelligent enough to have discourse as black adults with our own personal opinions on various topics. I think the bigger problem would be if we all agreed on everything. It would also make these types of engagements dull in my opinion, because we would not learn and would not be presented with new information and ideas, which is the beauty of when we engage.

@Cynique Let me ask you sista, why would you choose a wig over a head wrap? They both cover the hair so what makes a wig a better choice? Head wraps actually look 1000 times better in my opinion. Or you could simply just wear a hat, though in my opinion, black hair is beautiful when it's nappy and kinky. Of course, it's a sin to have nappy hair if you're black, which is ironic since our hair is naturally nappy. Can you imagine a world where white people didn't wear their natural hair and you rarely seen a white person show their natural hair? It almost seems comical. The only reason why it's not comical to me is because we live in a world where this is perfectly acceptable among black people. And we are told to just go with the flow and not challenge these behaviors or ideas.

@Chevdove Good points. I have to be truthful with you and say that I don't care if white women wear weaves. They don't have the same history and past as black people do and the decision making process for them is a lot different than the thinking processes that are present in black people. We all know they wear weaves and fake hair more than anyone, but most of the time they are wearing hair very similar to our own because they have the belief that their own natural hair is the most beautiful hair. When is the last time you heard about or seen a black woman buy black textured and bragged about it being 100 percent African hair? Probably never. So we cannot deny the element of self-hatred that must be present in the thinking of a black woman when she decides her appearance or a black man when he decides he wants to turn his skin completely white. In regions where this behavior is most prevalent the people who commit these crimes are quick to say it's only a fashion statement and we can wear whatever color skin we want or in cases of hair, can wear whatever styles they want, but we know these ideals are rooted in something much more deeper and complex than just simply choosing a style. Black men who oppose black women who wear weaves are basically proclaiming that we want our women just the way they are. We want our women to appreciate themselves as much as we do. I'm not saying we are completely awake and free of conditioning ourselves, but we are among the first to wake up and notice the man behind the curtain. And we greatly oppose this thinking. You pointed out that black women have been ridiculed over their hair. This is true. You must also understand that other races and cultures of people try their best to hide that they are wearing the weaves and extensions and don't give these things the same energy as black women. Black women are a lot more outspoken about the fact that they wear weaves and will talk about wearing weaves as commonly as someone else will talk about what type of dress they are going to wear. It is usually rare for a black woman to actually pass off her weave as her own natural hair. Many black women will boast about the fact that they paid thousands of dollars for their hair and have the best weaves on the market. No one else exhibits that behavior. Furthermore, from my own perspective, I actually believe that the black men who defend weave or don't oppose it in any way are the real culprits of exploiting black women. I also feel that if all black men just go along with black women wearing weaves then black women will never be ashamed and will feel no need to correct this behavior eventually. Yes, it may be a form of a shaming tactic, but this response to black women's weave which has become more popular has led to a natural hair movement and more women than ever going natural and stop spending their money on weaves and start to embrace their naturally beautiful kinky hair. At this moment in time we are looked at as the enemies, but once this terrible fad runs it's course and black women become more empowered, this will definitely become a highlight of our culture and will be immortalized in our history books and comedy for a long time to come. "Remember when black women were still sleep and put those ridiculous weaves in their hair?" We all wake up at our own accord and though this behavior doesn't bother me personally, I am very eager to see it go away finally which will be a sign that black people are one more step closer to claiming our throne over the planet and advancing our people to places that seem impossible in this present moment in time.

. This is someone who has had a negative experience using weave. Just one of many stories. In my opinion, as a bald woman her beauty is far more noticeable and superior to that junk that was unhealthy and damaging her head and ripping her skin open. I hope there is no one who wants to justify this behavior as if it is only a fashion statement. I think we all know it is way more deeper than being fashionable. There is also the other argument of how hard it is to maintain natural hair. I would have to ask a black woman if her purpose for wearing weave is due to how hard it is to maintain her natural hair, then does that mean that she will not maintain her hair if she wears a wig or a weave? And if not, is that healthy for her hair? @DelanoBrother, I was not trying to be condescending towards you. I was being genuine. I also understand the points you were making and there is truth in what each of you have stated. I just don't fully agree with your opinions, and that's okay. I have actually learned as well which is one thing I love about engaging with my people. I like to understand where they are coming from and I believe I understand where you guys are coming from. I just don't completely agree with your views concerning this discussion. @Delano I believe you are saying that "Black people should be more concerned with the content of their mind rather than the conditions of their hair." I don't think there is a hidden meaning in this statement and I agree that our thinking is of utmost importance. I also believe that how we behave and assert ourselves is a mirror of our thinking.

- So true

@Cynique You make good points about us needing to adjust queen. The reality is that we were forced into this line of thinking. I was blown away when I discovered that during slavery the black woman was forced to wear something over her hair to make it appear more bearable for white people to be around. Weaves and wigs were never something our ancestors willingly wanted to wear at first. They were told that their hair was too disgusting and reprehensible and white people forced our ancestors into believing that they held a superior beauty. And if we didn't understand the history of what was done to us, looking at how much we value other beauty over our own, one could be misled into believing that propaganda. Psychology is the greatest weapon that has been used on black people. The arrangement of systematic supremacy convinces black people that we are the problem and that we don't fit in. It has worked this way since it's inception. One day our grandchildren will reflect on our social media and magazines of this era and they will laugh at how lost we were, the same way we are so astonished when we learn about the behavior of our own ancestors. Though it may appear that I obsess over things like hair, I believe I am actually obsessing more over popular and accepted behavior that I believe needs to be challenged on all fronts. I would never put down a sista because she wears weave, but I would challenge the psychological thought processes that lead to a black woman who wears weave that doesn't remotely reflect her natural hair and in too many cases I see that the hair is hidden and if it's accidentally revealed, then it is an embarrassment. There is nothing embarrassing about my hair or yours. We should wear our hair proudly. @Delano Beauty is fundamentally a perspective. What is beautiful to you may not be beautiful for me and vice versa. The point of this post was to clarify that Black women are beautiful enough. This means that black women are beautiful without anything aiding them in that beauty. As we have already established in this thread, Black women who wear weave are still beautiful and I am not saying otherwise. I am focusing on how black women perceive their own beauty. I believe in cases where attractive women wear weaves, they do not lose that beauty when they take off their weaves, but... in my humble opinion, beautiful black women enhance their beauty when they take off weaves. I think it has been repeatedly explained how this conversation goes deeper than hair. I don't believe that is so hard to understand. I do believe that it would be (reckless is a better word) to discount the fact that this conversation is a little deeper than just someone changing the appearance of their hair. I also believe you understand exactly why this conversation is deeper than just hair, so I won't even insult you by explaining to you all the ways in which it's about more than hair brother.

I hear all too often that black people think that it is meaningless for us to be involved in politics because it's something we don't control. That type of thinking seems to be very popular among black people. My problem with this line of thinking is that if we never get involved in political processes, then we will never have control over anything political. In some townships where the majority of people are 80-90 percent black, it mystifies me that the politicians of these communities who make decisions for these people are white or non-black. It's like going to Africa and serving a white king. The behavior seems to be the same across the board and pretty much is not just limited to American blacks. Let me ask, if black people were more involved in the political process in America, could that bring about more positive change in our communities? I often wonder if black people are actually content without having political power and relying on those who are active in politics to control them. I have to ask this question because I don't understand why that behavior appears prevalent in black culture. I also have to wonder why no black person is running for president this term. I could be missing something so perhaps this is something someone can explain. Is it all due to the way black people behave or is this something that is systematic taking place? I'm not implying that a black person has to run for president every election though I don't see how that would not be possible with a little organizing, but what about smaller offices? It's a discussion in the black community that never fails to mystify me. More often, I keep hearing that black people should stay away from politics altogether and build. Though that statement seems to be a contradiction. Furthermore, isn't everything that black people build dependent on our legal and political system?

@Delano Brother, I am just expressing that how we dress and see ourselves is a direct reflection of our thinking. I said the concept sounded naive. I did not say you were naive. I still believe that concept is a naive one. We can't separate the conscious actions of a person from the thought processes involved in making conscious decisions. If a man goes to his garbage can and puts garbage on his head because that is the fashion statement he wants to make then I think we better judge the thinking process behind the action. I hope that you can comprehend the point I am making, regardless of whether you agree or not.

@Cynique Many black women are wearing their hair natural more often, as there has recently been a natural hair movement that has even picked up heavily in South Africa and spread throughout West Africa. That pleases me but what does not please me is when a 12 year old black girl tells me that she wishes she was white so she could be beautiful and have long blond beautiful hair and pretty white skin. Truly a heartbreaking thing to hear from a girl you have spent hours empowering with history and facts about our past. At the end, social engineering ranks supreme. In my opinion, it is brainwashing on the highest level. Once you think about it, black people do not decide what is "politically correct." The media presents these ideas to us and we seem to follow along as if the media is our bible. I never said some weaves don't look good. My problem with weaves is not even that black people wear them even though I feel they are ridiculous with the exception of entertainers who need to alter their appearance frequently to seem fresh. I get it. Weave has become sort of a sickness in the black community. Some women will never let someone else publicly see their hair. Though many women say that it has nothing to do with self esteem, this would be odd behavior. It's not a fashion statement. When you buy fashion, you simply take it off and chose another statement. Some women have had these weaves on their head so long that by the time they finally take them off, they have all types of bacteria crawling around on their heads. It's not natural and too often it's also unclean. We can easily ignore many of the issues in the black community and make excuses for the behavior. Though it's not progressive, it is an option. We can even have a song and dance about how responsible white supremacy is for our behavior and predicament and this may be true to a degree. But there are things we can do to improve us. In my opinion, solutions don't get talked about enough in the black community. We seem bent on making excuses for our negative behavior and normalizing it. Also, let me reiterate that I am not attacking black women. I am attacking a particular behavior in the black community that needs to be addressed. You said it should be more about what is in a person's head than what is on their head. My response is that what is on a person's head is a direct reflection of what is in their head. This discussion is not about women who wear weaves not being attractive. I think all black women are attractive and I appreciate black women. My mother is a beautiful black women. All of the women in my family are beautiful black women. I'm not taking a whiz at black women. What I will say is that none of the women in my family or immediate circle wear weaves. I didn't even know about weaves until I went down south to attend school in Florida. Ironically, when I came back up North I noticed that weave was a real thing. Even more importantly, I noticed that it was not a fashion statement at all. It became a way of life. Black women found a way to make themselves more attractive because that's what fashion is all about. You want to look your best right? The sad thing here is that black women believe that their straight long weaves that is nothing like their own hair is more attractive than the hair they were born with. This is the part of the discussion that no one wants to address. Of course, black women will argue that black women can have this same type of hair naturally as well but we know that is also uncommon. I think the symbol of weave stands for something in the black community that is not good. I feel like the need for black women to wear weave is a weakness and symbol of self hate, most of the time. And how does it affect me? When millions of black women cover up their natural hair in favor of straighter, less kinkier hair, that hurts my feelings because in my eyes my own hair is more attractive than stringy long hair that mimics animal fur. This of course is my personal opinion but I really do believe that African people have the most attractive hair but I could be biased. If black people believed that themselves, then I am certain that everyone else would be spending their money trying to get our hair texture instead of the other way around. Like you said, we are naturally trend setters. @Troy Thanks for pointing out that this goes way deeper than hair. " It is not just about hair; it is about those with wealth and power and how they control all if us. The impact on our hair is a minor indication of much broader issues of domination. " - You said it all! @Delano What I wrote on this post is fresh content but why do you ask? I have written a few articles about black women's hair and beautiful black women.

@Delano The biggest problem that I have is that some will feel like this discussion is about hair only. It's not about hair at all. Please read between those lines brother. At then end of the day I am only an African man with an opinion. This conversation is not about hair. Please understand that what we are talking about is much deeper than hair. How we present ourselves collectively to the world has a huge impact on how the world sees us and how the world responds to us. If we begin to normalize our insecurities, then we are doomed. I believe black women are beautiful no matter what, however, if we ever want to have a solid discussion about the impact of our behavior, let's at least try to understand that there may just be a problem here. It may be related to or caused by other problems related to how we collectively identify as a people. On the surface it may seem like "just hair." But in reality, the rabbit hole goes much deeper than hair.

It's not so much being Afrocentric as it is noticing a flaw in the black community. I understand your argument. Back in the 80's, similar arguments were made about black men wearing perms and jerry curls. Eventually, that got played out too once black men saw how ridiculous this behavior was. It took them a while to wake up as well. In Jamaica and other black nations they are saying that skin lightening cream is only a fashion statement and there is nothing wrong with it as well. We can make light of many of our habits but like I said, this goes deeper than wearing a hairstyle. Outsiders have profited immensely off of the insecurities and dysfunction of black behavior. They have pretty much colonized Africa who welcomed these outsiders with open arms and smiles and giggles. Now they are losing electric companies, government properties and accumulating more dept than they begin to understand. They do all this while the same people they oppress strive to identify with outsiders culture and heritage, so much that they lose their own. When we identify with others, we lose a part of ourselves which seems innocent at first, but then it spirals out of control. Once the damage is done, you realize that we have not moved forward, but only backwards. I don't think it's so extreme to mention that black women have taken this weave wearing to another level, so badly that I hardly see black women wearing their natural hair and it's a breath of fresh air when I do. The behavior is a terrible flaw in the community and though I agree it is not the only issue that we face in the black community, but it is still an issue that needs to be corrected. Black women are not just wearing weave, they are neglecting their own hair and using the weave to literally replace their natural hair so they can appear to look different than how they were designed. The flip side is that black women in droves on social media seem to be complaining that black men are abandoning them for outsiders, when the truth is, if any of that is remotely true, then aren't they just going after the real thing and not a knock off? Could they be thinking that "black women are not naturally beautiful because if they were naturally beautiful then they would not have to hide their own beauty to imitate other's beauty?" Perhaps some do think this way. Consider a young black boy who grows up seeing his mom altering her appearance to appear more white (children do pick up on these things and are a lot smarter than we give them credit for being) who believes that his mother looks prettier when she puts on a weave or wig that makes her look less black and more like someone else. This child will never admire the natural beauty of a black woman most of the time because all of his life he saw his mother imitating someone else beauty, which must be the ultimate standard of beauty in his mind. Now consider a nation of kids with these thoughts. Now consider every black child in the world who repeatedly see black women trying their best to look like women who are not black... it could be something so dramatic that it changes black people or African people and how we see blackness forever! That's exactly what I see happening and we can make excuses for this behavior all day long. I still see the same thing... black women who aren't satisfied with looking black. I have even seen black women put down other black women for not wearing a weave or a perm. The sickness is real. We may not want to call it a sickness but I'm calling it what it is. Some black women admit it's a sickness or insecurity but the majority will defend the behavior so they can feel justified. I will always call it buffoonery. Black women are beautiful as they are! Period! @Pioneer1 The cases you describe only tell you the beautiful fantasy story. What this story leaves out is the fact that most black women who get involved in interracial relationships are abused and the kids usually grow up with complexes about their identities. These women end up more scarred from these experiences. It's pretty similar to the slave who wants acceptance. Though many fantasize about how much better things will be with outsiders, statistically, these fairy tales rarely exist in reality.

I agree about what you said in regards to embracing the burdens of the black race and about the bottom line being money. But you said that it's not about what is on your head and that's not true. If that were the case, weaves wouldn't sell like hotcakes in our neighborhoods in the first place. Most black people seem to think hair is greatly important. Black people are the most insecure people on the planet. I believe the fact that 90 percent of black women wear weaves supports that fact. Let's face it, slavery happened virtually yesterday so we are doing very good considering, but let's not lie to ourselves and try to purport that we do not have a problem here. We do. The self esteem issue with black women has blossomed out of control. There was a viral video about a baby being given weave and modelling herself. Once the weave was taken away, she cried unbearably. Once it was given back to her she happily continued modelling her animal hair. All this while the mother was laughing in the background. That doesn't sound to you like black women have a problem? Look, the truth of the matter is that the men have huge problems as well so trust me sis.... I am not gender baiting. This isn't a "men are better than the women" point I am trying to make. It's about us as a people and the brainwashing that needs to be undone. It's about the fact that black people have made everyone else their gods and role models and where does that leave us? In my perfect reality, yes, I would love to see beautiful black women value their natural beauty and stop imitating everyone else. I would like to see black people comfortable in their own skin as proud African people who all have common ancestry in Africa. If we don't call ourselves black then we should be calling ourselves African with no attachments. But it appears to me that more often than not, black people try to escape their reality of who they are. And this is so dangerous. I am concerned more with what's inside someone's head than what's on it and that's the point. I wonder what is inside a black women's head who wears a white women's weave, contact lenses, denies her African identity but just happens to be educated. Is she valuable as a black woman? Believe it or not, there are actually women out here who have abandoned their true selves. I have seen young women scream and cry when their weaves or wigs are pulled off of their hair and their natural unkempt hair is exposed, with who knows what living on their heads. These same women are raising their daughters to exhibit this same behavior. And while yes, we could ignore this behavior and say to ourselves it's their heads and we shouldn't be concerned, the fact of the matter is that it's a very serious problem and right now in this point in time, black people have every right to be very concerned.

@Delano The argument I keep hearing is that it is only hair. But black people seem clueless as to the psychological warfare that is being used against us daily. It never fails... "Why do I have to shop at a black owned store? It's just food!" "Why can't I lighten my skin? It's just a fashion statement." "Why do I have to be black? That word is actually racist. We were already here. We are the true Indians!" "There is no such thing as black on black crime anymore than white on white crime." We have to stop making excuses for our buffoonery because we are passing that behavior to our kids who will end up with similar thinking. And I don't think I am being too strict when I say that our line of thinking hasn't done much for our predicament in the last 400 years so maybe it's time to change some of that thinking. You think hairstyle doesn't have anything to do with our thinking? That sounds a little naive.

If there was an outbreak of a disease in the black community, wouldn't you want the disease to be cured sista? If I see a lion imitating a wolf then I would probably see something wrong. Black women are beautiful without weave, wigs, plastic surgery or any of that other garbage. It's time black women wake up and reclaim their power and authority. For too long black people have been asleep and it's time for a massive wake up. We all wake up at our own pace but desperate times call for desperate actions. Black women need to wake up now! It's necessary. We have soldiers and warriors to raise. The buffoonery that is commonly now accepted in the black community must die out on all fronts. Black woman refers to melanated women who have African ancestry. It doesn't refer to any other group or race and we don't have to be ashamed of being associated with black. While I agree that black women should be able to wear any styles they prefer, they should only prefer their own grade of hair. What's so bad about black women wearing hair they were born with?

Black women are beautiful by default. It is a wonder why black women feel compelled to wear weave and wigs to cover up their natural beauty. But I can't scold them for their behavior as I realize this is a self esteem issue that's pretty obvious across the board. Black man have insecurities when it comes to who they are as well. As a Black man I faced my own insecurities because I always felt like I was supposed to base my own standards off of the images I saw appear in magazines and mass media. Reflecting back, I feel like every black person is conflicted at some point in their lives and feel inadequate. Though the new conscious thing to do is put down Black women because they wear weaves, the behavior speaks differently. Somehow a social war has been engineered that started online and went viral in life where black men seem at odds with black women. Many have stated that women of other races are treating them better and proclaiming that they are more attractive. The sad part is that they have no idea why there own views have changed. they don't realize the social impact of social media that allows this behavior to be prevalent. I don't think it is by mistake. Black women are indeed beautiful and in my opinion they are the most beautiful. Think about it. Black women have been told for centuries that their bodies were not attractive because they were naturally curvy. Now that technology has advanced, women of all races and cultures get implants so they can mimic the features that are found on the beautiful black woman. From lip injections to butt implants, they want these features badly. However, it seems that black women are so used to being told that they are inadequate, they reject their own self worth so they can be included with the beauty standards of others. This leads to the popularity of weaves and wigs being sold which make them appear less black, though many would argue that it's only a fashion statement and that they only wear weaves so they can protect their natural hair. This type of protection has lead to parasitic as well as bacteria infections. It's far from protective styling because what are they actually protecting their hair from? Sunlight? Oxygen? Moisture? I dream of the day when black women wake up and realize that they are truly beautiful. Once they do this and take more pride in their identities, others will imitate them like they always do anyway. But this will take time and Black women will need to learn that they are already beautiful and don't need to conform to a standard of beauty that they were never meant to conform to. Weave is whack! The most saddest thing I have to endure is seeing a black woman wear a silly and ugly weave on her hair and hide her actual hair that is 1000 times more beautiful. Black hair is unique and it just goes with us. These weaves and wigs actually look pretty ridiculous but unfortunately society has accepted this look as a standard of beauty but black women are already beautiful. All Black women need to do is notice the beauty that they possess. Why is this important? Black women need to get back pride and self esteem. Black women have soldiers to raise. Black women should not feel inadequate in any way, shape or form because they need to be empowered and make sure their children see them in the best light. The children they raise need to see pride and confidence beam off their mothers so they can take their mothers more seriously. The black boys they raise need to see their mothers true beauty and appreciate it so they will not be conflicted when it is time for them to choose their wives. The reality is that a high percentage of these women who will become or are already mothers will be raising their children alone; sometimes with help but with no help most of the time according to some statistics. The next generation of black children deserve to be empowered as much as they truly can be, and that empowerment that they gain from their parents is invaluable. Let's at least teach our future daughters that there is no hair on earth as special as theirs and teach them to love their natural hair. Let's teach them to love being black. This doesn't mean that they have to hate anyone else, it just means that they know how to actually love themselves.

AALBC is a book publishing company and that message needs to be spread! #readingblack

I hate to compare the way the majority of black people think today with slavery, but I think that requiring validation from the very people you oppose is definitely a slave characteristic. It's this slave mentality that has always worked against us as far back as our ancestors first selling us into slavery or being kidnapped into it and may even go back beyond then, which would explain why slavery existed in the first place and why they were feeding our black babies to the alligators. The thinking of black people has not advanced enough to allow black businesses to prosper yet. Instead of dealing with our own, it appears that far too many blacks would rather deal with outsiders first, unless we are talking about entertainment. And even then, there is a great level of buffoonery. As far as I know, black people have much success in entertainment, however, not one black owned record label that is not under a white record label. Not one television station outside of Oprah that is doing anything of major importance. We are behind and I blame the thinking of black people over the suspected white supremacy. If black consciousnesses evolved overnight, then the circumstances of black people would also change overnight.