Mel

Lol....how are you going to sit up there and list ALL of them as "number 1" on the list?????

There's really no ranking because my ideal man has all three. Even if you met all the men (friends, lovers, associates, acquaintance) that I had an opportunity to have in my life - you'd see the all share the same characteristics.

While I'm sure Troy welcomes your participation, this list was actually crafted for men because we tend to look for different attributes in the opposite sex than women do.

Some of what you value, we can take or leave

Like height....lol.

I don't care how short a woman is.

I'd date a MIDGET if she was sexy...lol.

And WOULDN'T be ashamed to walk around with her in public.

I'd pick her up and carry her in one arm like a baby is she wanted me to.

There was one man, a friend set me up with, and we went out on a date.

See, I've learned that's a tell tale sign right THERE...the need to be "set up" for a date.

Most people who are atleast moderately attractive don't need to be "set up" to meet other people.

They naturally attract others either at work or while they're out and about in their daily life.

Usually it's people who are generally not attractive enough to meet people in their day to day life....for whatever reason be it looks or personality....who need to be "set up" by a friend or turn to dating apps.

Just like if a person is constantly in and out of jail......there's usually a reason for it.
If a person has a hard time finding or attracting others, there's usually a reason.

I have never or would ever entertain, date or even tease a broke man.

See, that's one of the major differences between what most women are looking for and what most men are....lol.

Most men could care less about the financial status of a woman.

She could be too broke to pay ATTENTION let alone pay her bills...lol...doesn't matter as long as she was sexy, or pretty, or ultra-feminine.

See all of those mail order brides from dirt poor countries that men are willing to spend millions of dollars to get?

intelligence see this denontation it was what makes a man the entire package

Yet another difference between most men and most women.

Most men aren't looking for a super intelligent woman, just one who is intelligent enough to KNOW HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC...lol.

As long as she ain't acting a loud mouth ghetto fool when you take her out somewhere and doing things like....

-Getting into arguments with other women while standing in line.

-Mean mugging and cussing out the waitress who has to serve us our food.

-Threatening men with what I'M going to do to them when they look at her wrong or say something she doesn't like

I don't care whether she can even read or write, as long as she has enough sense to carry herself in a mild, non-aggressive, feminine manner.

attractiveness If he has the first two - he definitely has this one.

I'm glad you said this because I initially was going to mention it to Troy.

Attractiveness involves ALL of these attributes and how they relate to eachother synergistically to make a person desirable.

I presumed when he wrote "attractiveness" he meant LOOKS, so I rolled with it.
But I would have chosen another word to be more specific like "beauty" or "aesthetics" dealing with the physical outward appearance.

1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

There was one man, a friend set me up with, and we went out on a date.

See, I've learned that's a tell tale sign right THERE...the need to be "set up" for a date.

Most people who are atleast moderately attractive don't need to be "set up" to meet other people.

They naturally attract others either at work or while they're out and about in their daily life.

Usually it's people who are generally not attractive enough to meet people in their day to day life....for whatever reason be it looks or personality....who need to be "set up" by a friend or turn to dating apps.

I know this was addressed to sista @Mel Hopkins but I'll chime in anyway.🤣

Nowadays, some folks are so busy in their lives that they don't have time to meet people in their daily routine.

Another thing is if a common friend thinks two people may be a match but won't meet each other under normal circumstances, that common person will set them up.

I'm an old skool caveman to the the point that I don't believe in dating apps or set-ups or anything else. I prefer to meet women out in the wild & let nature take its course.😁😎

1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

Like height....lol.

My first true love, my friend, my first born's father is 5' 6"... I'm 5'8" So there's that.

1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

See, I've learned that's a tell tale sign right THERE...the need to be "set up" for a date.

This makes a lot of sense, @Pioneer1 !!!

1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

Most men could care less about the financial status of a woman.

She could be too broke to pay ATTENTION let alone pay her bills...lol...doesn't matter as long as she was sexy, or pretty, or ultra-feminine.

Of course they don't- See what Author Erick S Gray quote.
But there are certain types of men who marry up but they travel in a different circles. See: Alexis Ohainian married to Serena Williams estimated net worth 400M? Andrea Preti married to Venus Williams whose est net worth $65 M - $95 M? Travis Kelce S90 M married to Billionaire Taylor Swift. See: Congressmann Ro Khanna. I'm not saying he married because his wife is heiress to billions but there he is. By the way, that's me NOT searching for more examples. I think some women like me just notice when men marry women with larger bank accounts. My favorite type of couple is the work together and make bank - like the Obamas, Carters, even the first Bezos.

2 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Attractiveness involves ALL of these attributes and how they relate to eachother synergistically to make a person desirable.

Great minds 😉

18 minutes ago, ProfD said:

I'm an old skool caveman to the the point that I don't believe in dating apps or set-ups or anything else. I prefer to meet women out in the wild & let nature take its course.😁😎

Brotha @ProfD me too! I wasn't even jaded about the two brothers that catfished me because at least we "met in the wild" 🙌🏽🥳😄

ProfD


Nowadays, some folks are so busy in their lives that they don't have time to meet people in their daily routine.

Well if they don't even have time to even MEET people, they have even LESS time to date and fuck....lol.



Another thing is if a common friend thinks two people may be a match but won't meet each other under normal circumstances, that common person will set them up.

Yes.
That makes sense, and sometimes it works out......sometimes.

Sometimes you try to hook two friends up and end up making 2 enemies because you insulted them.

You hook ONE ugly person up with ANOTHER ugly person, and both of them get mad because you suggested that they were so ugly they deserved to be with somebody else who was ugly too...lol.

Now they spend the rest of the month thinking to themselves......



"Now why would she think, that I'd want to date
a woman who looked like THAT????
Unless she thought we were on the same level???"



I'm an old skool caveman to the the point that I don't believe in dating apps or set-ups or anything else. I prefer to meet women out in the wild & let nature take its course.

Not only is it more natural but more comfortable and fun that way, in my opinion.
Finding a mate through a dating app and questionnaire is like seriously asking somebody on a date is it ok if you can kiss them and touch their genitals.
Yes it's logical, but very unnatural and awkward.

When it comes to meeting another person, not only do you see them but you have to SMELL them...their pheromones and the spiritual VIBES they give off.
All of this plays a role in attraction.

I've said for years and I'll still say, dating apps is for WHITE PEOPLE because many of their marriages and unions are SHAMS anyway.
They force themselves to be together for reproductive reasons.








Mel



My first true love, my friend, my first born's father is 5' 6"... I'm 5'8" So there's that.

Shit, who was he....Eazy E?

I'm sure you weren't wearing the shoes you're wearing in this picture....lol.

This makes a lot of sense, @Pioneer1 !!!

All of those exclamation marks makes it seem as if you were surprised that it even came from me....lol.






But there are certain types of men who marry up but they travel in a different circles. See: Alexis Ohainian married to Serena Williams estimated net worth 400M? Andrea Preti married to Venus Williams whose est net worth $65 M - $95 M?

That wasn't love, those were business moves...lol.

And as sad as it may seem.......
Judging by how them and a lot of Black people see themselves, perhaps it may have been the sisters THEMSELVES who considered themselves the lucky ones who were "marrying up" because they were Black women who found themselves the object of the affection of White men.
Especially if they have any offspring from those unions.

They'll see that as some sort of "improvement" on their progeny.

When rich people and celebrities marry eachother, you can't assume it's love.
It's usually a business deal or their agents encouraging it for strategic reasons.

TRUE love is two people working at Taco Bell fall inlove with eachother and run down to city hall and get married.

Or some man working at Home Depot giving a homeless woman and her children a ride, they develop feelings for eachother...and after months of dating they get married and he accepts her children as his own.

If two poor or working class people meet, marry, THEN become rich....that's one thing.
But if people who are ALREADY rich and famous hook up, you have to suspect ulterior motives for the union.

21 minutes ago, Mel Hopkins said:

Brotha @ProfD me too! I wasn't even jaded about the two brothers that catfished me because at least we "met in the wild" 🙌🏽🥳😄

You met them honestly but those n8gglets were on some BS. 🙄

Unfortunately, there are way too many goofy azz people out here playing games.

I think people who catfish should be fileted & fried. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.🤣😎

7 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

They'll see that as some sort of "improvement" on their progeny.

Not an improvement in the way you think.

Being Fair-skinned (light beige) gives a Black woman options. If she's my complexion, or darker, the pool of available mates shrinks. My hair was long and soft so that's how I got a man's attention in the first place. But I can't tell you how many times a young Black man told me "I rarely date darkskinned girls."

That "I rarely", is a big turn off.

Even though Serena and Venus are successful I'm sure they heard a lot of that to their face and in the media. No one wants their offspring to suffer the same fate. You want your child to have access to all the resources. All my girls were/are light beige and all the boys from all parts of the world just showed up with quickness. I remember when one daughter said her suitor was from Egypt. She was turned off when he jumped because her pit bull 😄

As far the 1%, I can't say it was business transaction. Attraction probably came first. But from my experience it seems like white men are quick to marry - not necessarily quicker than Black men, but white men are going to step up anyway —because patriarchy. When it comes to marriage with Black men, it feels like they are signing up for partnership. And that takes a lot of contemplation on their part. I could be wrong, but at least that's how I felt when Black men talked to me about marriage. Honestly, there was a lot of I want to marry you but I need you to ...blah, blah because I'm not a traditional-type woman. Even my dad told my mom I was a handful lol. With white men it felt like they were supposed to do it and did, well at least they were quick to ask.

Mel


Not an improvement in the way you think.

Yes, your assessment is consistent with what I meant.

There are a lot of women of color....not just Black but Brown and even Yellow who want their children to come out looking closer to White and less like them not just because they think Caucasians are more attractive....but because they feel being closer to White will make their lives easier.

Mulatto offspring of White slave owners had it easier in the house than the Field Negroes.
The Meztizo offspring of the Conquistadores had it easier than their Indigenous mothers

Besides forced rape, women have a history of linking up with the male oppressor...not for her own sake but for the sake of her progeny.

I remember when one daughter said her suitor was from Egypt. She was turned off when he jumped because her pit bull 😄

Ofcourse,
Most Arabs and other Middle Easterners...like most Africans...don't have a love affair with dogs like they do in the West, lol.

In the East, dogs are used to hunt and protect the house....they aren't kept as beloved pets INSIDE the house.
We learned that shit from White folks because dogs were THEIR best friends, lol.
Arabs and Africans.....because they tend to have more of their cultures intact...maintain their distance from dogs and keep them outside.

You'll almost never see an Arab or African smooching and kissing dogs on the mouth like they do in the U.S. or Europe.


As far the 1%, I can't say it was business transaction. Attraction probably came first. But from my experience it seems like white men are quick to marry - not necessarily quicker than Black men, but white men are going to step up anyway —because patriarchy. When it comes to marriage with Black men, it feels like they are signing up for partnership. And that takes a lot of contemplation on their part. I could be wrong, but at least that's how I felt when Black men talked to me about marriage. Honestly, there was a lot of I want to marry you but I need you to ...blah, blah because I'm not a traditional-type woman. Even my dad told my mom I was a handful lol. With white men it felt like they were supposed to do it and did, well at least they were quick to ask.


((Pioneer1 jumps up and down in excitement))

Oooh oooh....I got a GOOD video for you, I was just watching this morning!

It's only a few minutes.
When you have time check it out and tell me if it resonates with what you've experienced and observed.