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AuthorKarliciaLewis

Stop Saying Yes to Mr. No Good: Get Rid of Toxic Men Once and For All

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How many times have you asked yourself what you are doing with your current partner, yet continued to settle for the same situation? How often do you remind yourself that you can do so much better than the men you settle for, while you continue to lower your standards and date the same toxic guys over and over? Aren't you tired of singing along with and relating to all those sad, broken-heart songs on the radio?

 

In a casual sex-fueled society, many have fallen into complacency. Women all over have lowered their standards in order to have a man by their side. In this book, author Karlicia Lewis gives women all across the globe great insight into the epidemic of settling for unhealthy and toxic relationships, ways to identify a man that will not make a good partner, and the tools needed to break out of the pattern of settling for men that are no good, giving women a chance to break IN to a happier, more satisfying life. Lewis shows women how to spot toxic men from a mile away, while arming them with the confidence and self esteem building exercises needed to set their standards in stone. Are you ready for a life changing journey?

 

Purchase the book here: http://kdlewis2.wix.com/sayno2mrnogood

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Hi Karlicia, do you think there are enough "good" Black men?  Do women settle for "toxic" men because that is all the is available?

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I must say that there is somewhat of a shortage in "good" black men, good men in general. Sadly, the majority of single men these days are not looking for anything serious, and if they are, it must come with benefits for them. However, I'm sure there is a large amount of good men still out there. I dislike when women say they settle for toxic men because there are no good men available, because that's an excuse to justify their willingness to settle for a piece of a man to avoid loneliness and looking as if they're not good enough because they don't have a partner. This is one of the main reasons I wrote the book "Stop Saying Yes to Mr. No Good". There is never a reason to settle for a toxic man. There's no reason to get in your own way of true happiness that could exist if a woman were to stop spending all their time trying to just have someone.

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I still wonder Karlicia.  I mean it is good to say there is someone out there for everyone, but I'm just not so sure just given the numbers.  I have not seen a serious study to support my suspicions but if you consider the Black male incarceration, murder and employment rates and contrast that to Black women now obtaining college educations at a higher rate.  One has to seriously consider, numerically it is just much hard for a Black woman to find a "Mr Good" so say yes to.

 

If you take a college educated Black woman and assume she wants a college educated Black man of a similar age without children I would be willing to guess there are 50% more women in this category.   Once you factor in Black men who actually want to be in a committed monogamous relation, and mutual compatibility. it seems like women have if MUCH more difficult than men.

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I agree. When you start speaking to the numbers involving college educated black men and women, there is a great shortage of black men.  It's difficult geographically as well. I've spoken to women from all states who are convinced that the only good men they have met lived out of state or in other cities. I completely agree with you that it's difficult to find a good man, however we as women should not begin settling for Mr No Goods just to have someone. We have to learn to love ourselves enough to be alone rather than unhappy, or else the vicious cycle of encouraging and producing no good men will continue. 

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Agreed.

 

Now for a completely different question: do you think Black men have a difficult time finding a good woman?

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Talk is cheap, and it's obvious what sistas need to do when it comes to finding Mr. Right. But in reality there are not enough good men to go around, much less ones who are receptive to the demands of women looking for mates.  Plus, the sparse supply of available black males can pick and choose and what they're looking for is a woman who has a lot going for herself  both physically and mentally.  On the other hand,  attractive, smart, black women aren't that receptive to meeting the emotional needs of black men who are very needy and beat-down and - ego-driven.

 

 So the rift between black men and women remains, with the men desiring their women to be more supportive and accomodating and the women expecting  their men to be faithful and gainfully employed. It's a scenario that plays itself out over and over in the black community and it undoubtedly contributes to the problems that plague the race. 

 

In the populous ghetto culture of the inner cities, when it comes to relationships expectations are not high, and affairs not stable.  Add the inevitable pregnancies to the mix and - well, it's all down hill from there... :(

 

Those of you who insist all problems have solutions, haven't figured out yet how to reverse the mind-sets that perpetuate this unfortunate conflict that  aflicts the black middleclass. 

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That was well said Cynique.  You brought out what I was after and much more. 

 

We hear all this talk about the paucity of "good" Black men but we never hear talk of the scarcity of "good" black women.

 

I think most people are "good" the problem is the inherent incompatibles in needs, wants desires, etc.  I know plenty of "good" people getting divorced, multiple times even. 

 

I'm not so sure toxic men (or women) are the root of the problem.  I think the environment is what is toxic.  The men merely reflected the environment.

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