The Count Down Begins

[Cynique]

Next Suday, August 18th will be my 80th birthday.  I began my week-long countdown yesterday.  Can I make it? I seriously wonder. I feel OK  but - who knows? Anything can happen. Life is fickle.

 

Because I want to do it my way, I have planned a family dinner to be held in a private banquet room, where my 5 kids, 8 grandchildren and 3 great grands will gather to help me celebrate. My niece and grand nephew live out of state and won't be able to make it.  Except for 3 distant cousins, these are all the blood relatives I have left in the world.  Most of my close friends are dead and the 4 surviving female ones don't live close. Only casual acquaintances survive. 

 

I look upon this upcoming family gathering as a live memorial repast because I plan to be cremated and have left instructions to forego a funeral.  Nobody's left to come.  Sad? No. I think it's funny.  I wanted my ashes to be compressed and the carbon extracted from them so it can be turned into a diamond which could be mounted in some kind of an appropriate setting. But I don't trust people who say they can do this.  I think they  just dispose of your charcoal left overs and present the family with a cubic zirconia.  (Ever the cynic)

 

I have also considered having my ashes planted in a flower bed so I can bloom every spring.  I'm still deciding, and I know I have to make a decision soon.  The wind  will probably be what makes the final decision as to where what's left of me will flutter. C'est la Vie.

 

One grandaughter jokingly asked me if I was going to get a 3rd tattoo to commemorate my 80th year.  I said "no" because what I really want, is to have my nose pierced so I can sport a tiny diamond stud in one nostril.  But - I will forego this fantasy.  That's all I need is to get an infection or other complications as the result of a silly whim.  

 

Last night in the wee small hours I ventured out into my yard and gazed skyward, hoping I could spot any streaking comets making up the meteor showers that were forecasted for the week end.  I figured I could hitch my spirit to one of them and check out the universe.  I wasn't entirely suprised when I would only see flashes out of the corner of my eyes; never head on.  I don't know it they were real, or phantoms. The longer I looked, the more the sparks seemed to be flying. Anyhow it was  a  surreal experience, staring up at a blinking purple-hued sky scattered with feathery clouds, all in anticipation of day break.

 

And the days dwindle down as I complete the memento I am preparing to have copies made of to hand out to my guests.  Instead of an obituary, it's a Bio replete with a time-line collage of pictures.  It's self-indulgent, I know.  But, what the hell. YOLO! 

[Cynique]

The count down continues.  Half way there.  Yesterday I went to pick out a dress to wear to my birthday gathering.  I wanted something festive and frilly and found a frock that pretty much fit the bill, except it was a tad short.  But then I decided that wasn't a problem.  My husband always said, I had pretty legs. Reminder: this is MY party.   

 

My next stop was a beauty supply store.  I went there to search for some stickers.  I had in mind the kind used to decorate the body, - not that easy to find nowadays since this fad went out of style about 20 years ago.  Anyhoo, I finally found some  accessories used for decorating fingernails.  Perfect.  Now I'll have my faux diamond stud to stick in the little indentation on whichever side of my nose I decide upon, the idea being to fool my family until they catch on that I didn't really have my nose pierced, another practice that is not that much in vogue anymore.  But nevermind that.  Remember:  It's My party. 

 

On to Office Max to pick up the copies of the little souvenier booklet I put together.  They did a good job and, I must say, I didn't spare any superlatives when composing my resume - oops I mean bio.  Which is why I'm the one providing this substitute for an obit. I'm not sure my kids would praise me enough if it was left up to them.  And, of course, because this is MY party.  The pictures included were pretty cool, too.  And why not?  Most of them were of ME.

 

BTW, in case anyone thinks I'm terminally ill, I'm not.  At least not to my knowledge.  I just don't take things for granted, and I'm really hoping I make it to 80.  If I do, after that. all bets are off.  I don't even care what comes next.  This crazy-asssed world is so shitty.  I'm almost hoping what Edgar Allen Poe said is true when he wrote: "all that we see or seem is just a dream within a dream."

 

Come ooooon, Sunday...

[Troy]

Come on Sunday :-).  It seems like an exciting and interesting time for you Cynique -- I'm not sure anyone less than 80 can really appreciate it fully.  I hope you take and share some photos from the festivities here.  Your family is fortunate to have you. 

 

Actually I've feel enriched by knowing you; even in the limited way one can know someone virtually. Actually you know more about how I honestly feel about a wider range of subjects than most people who "know" in the real world.  We have been interacting for a minute huh?  Now that I think about it wow. 

 

At my stage, there seems like so much more I want to do -- establish more security for my family and enable AALBC.com to survive after I'm gone.  Both tasks are far from complete.  But knowing my personality I will probably go to the grave trying to accomplish something.

 

My birthday, interestingly, is not something I'm inclined to celebrate.  Now it is not that I donl;t like celebrating 'cause I'm down to celebrate any chance I get, but April 8th is nothing really special for me.  Now if someone wants to organize something for me that is terrific but I'm not too interested in doing something involved for myself.  I remember waiting to make 50 seemed to take a long time, but then hitting 51 seemed to take about 5 minutes. 

 

On Sunday we will be taking my oldest to the airport for her to study abroad for a semester.  A sacrifice her parent are making that the young lady may not appreciate for many years... 

 

I often wonder what the world will be like 30 years from now when I'm 80.  Today I'm shooting for 100.

 

Happy birthday CYNIQUE -- I hope there are many more to come!   

[Pioneer1]

Cynique

 

I just don't take things for granted, and I'm really hoping I make it to 80. If I do, after that. all bets are off. I don't even care what comes next. This crazy-asssed world is so shitty. I'm almost hoping what Edgar Allen Poe said is true when he wrote: "all that we see or seem is just a dream within a dream."

I kept saying I just hope I make it to see December 21st 2012 and if God blesses me to see that date and nothing major happens, I won't worry anymore.

It's been nearly a year and I'm more concerned about what's happening in the world now than before that date.

Anyway........

I'd like to wish you a happy birthday.

[Cynique]

Hello,

 This is Cynique's daughter.  Just wanted to tell you she didn't make it.  She was so looking forward to her 80th birthday but last night when she was out staring at the moon, an object fell from the sky and hit her on the head knocking her to the ground.  When 911 got here, it was too late. We will have the dinner planned today anyway because we know that's the way she would've wanted it and that she will be with us in spirit.  We'll have an empty chair for her and will observe a moment of silence. Pray for us. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Troy]

You know what, if this was yesterday you would not have made it see 80, 'cause I would have gotten on a plane, flown to Chicago, driven to Maywood and committed geriatricide.

 

Waddya tryin' to do give me a heart attack?  I have to admit you got me -- even though the "object falling from the sky" was a dead give away and very... Cyniquian.   :-) 

 

 

Happy 80th Ma.

[Cynique]

Well, I 've been resurrected by all the positive messages sent my way on my birthday.  I enjoyed a great celebration with my family and now I'm ready  for whatever life serves up to me next. 

 

Thank you Troy and Pioneer for your well wishes.