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Delano

The End of arguments

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I have said it elsewhere I am done talking about any kind of injustice. It's not pointless just fruitless in an emotional mental and spiritual wasteland that resides in too many ...

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Oh come on Del man....lol.

You should end the arguments against injustice only when injustice actually ENDS!

But I understand how some people HATE conflict and tend to shy away from it, while others....like Cynique....love it.

I have a cousin who since I could remember couldn't seem to tolerate any type of conflict between people. Even as a child she'd either sit down and cover up her ears or just run off and hide when adults or kids would argue with eachother.
Even now at 50, if we're having some sort of reunion or she visits with relatives and the slightest disagreement erupts....you can see her starting to get nervous and start looking away.

I know many of the exchanges we have on the internet won't change anyone's opinions or way of thinking, but that's not why I do it.
I like the INTERACTION of other Black people and the exchange of ideas whether I agree with them or not.

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I think I know what you mean Del. It is why I suggested that Harry consider stop railing against evil ministers it won't make a difference and negativity just brings you down.

 

I'm actually trying to approach things from a positive perspective myself.  Rather than focus on Black folks who would support Black business and bitching about that.  I talk abut the folks that do support their own businesses.  Rather than lament that fact that we give money to Amazon rather than our own business I simply work with those that get it.

 

So you will not see be calling for a boycott of Amazon any more.  I'll just work to uplift the Black owned bookstore that exist.  You won't find me trying to explain to people why they need to get off Facebook. I just deactivated my account and will work with those that get it. 

 

It is much healthier, more fun, and productive to be positive rather than walking around complaining about what is wrong all the time. 

 

I like the interaction with other Black people too.

 

@Pioneer1 is your cousin married?

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Troy

 

is your cousin married?

 

She was, divorced now.

But if you're asking to see how she dealt with the arguments that come with marriage......

Her husband was a straight up thug.
But she liked that because being so scared all the time she felt PROTECTED with a man like that so she didnt' really argue with him about anything EXCEPT for what they divorced over.....lol....his repeated cheating.

The type of nervousness and skiddishness that you see with her is rather rare among Black women in America....lol.
She grew up in a rough neighborhood but for some reason just didn't learn how to handle conflict in her environment.

I worked with another man.....Black man....who was the same way.
He was from Philadelphia and left his family and friends behind because he couldn't handle the brashness of the Eastcoast and felt the Midwest was more his style.
Didn't have any base in his voice.
He married a White woman from Poland because he was too intimidated by even the White women of America and how much they cussed and drank....lol.

Some people just aren't cut out for conflict....either engaging in it or being around it.

I don't necessarily love conflict but I tend to CALCULATE the risks versus the rewards of engaging in a particular conflict.

Even during school days, I remember not fighting a couple people who challenged me.
Not out of fear, but simply because there was no audience to watch it if I ended up winning.....lol.

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Discussion are a great mental exercise. But how much changes for either side. So now I am interested I. Asking questions.

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I change my position from time to time and find it interesting to read a different perspective.  Even if I don't change my position I find the alternative view points interesting. I'm one of those people who can sit on a bench and find it interesting to just look at different people walk by. I think people and their stories are fascinating.

 

 

@Pioneer1 was actually asking to see if she was available. I need a passive woman who will do what I say, keep the house clean, cook, take care of my needs, and not give me any lip; you know a traditional woman ;)

 

Seriously, I did not think her personality was suited to being in a marriage -- at least not one she was not being walked all over.  Is she cute?

 

 

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I still find people interesting. But racism in America is an iceberg. Even whites who are against racism are against  the redistribution of wealth. So the effect and purpose of institutional racism is seperate I n their minds. The thinking is as follows slavery ended and do did  racism. We are all equal. 

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Troy

was actually asking to see if she was available. I need a passive woman who will do what I say, keep the house clean, cook, take care of my needs, and not give me any lip; you know a traditional woman

Seriously, I did not think her personality was suited to being in a marriage -- at least not one she was not being walked all over. Is she cute?

 

Actually........

No lie bro, she's FINE AS HELL !

Imagine
Erykah Badu with shorter hair......lol.

Even as a kid she was fine and slim.
Normal height but very petite and "delicate" in the bones.

But what makes her even more attractive in MY OPINION is her nervous like behavior which makes her seem even MORE delicate.
The way she'll shy away from conflict and act nervous makes men (or me atleast) want to PROTECT her...which is attractive.

I don't know if she's be a "traditional" wife but she knows how to act.
I believe she was doing the paralegal thing for a long time and she knows how to act around professional people in professional situations.

She grew up in the ghetto but she's not hoodish so she wouldn't EMBARASS you if you took her somewhere.

I said she was divorced but I actually haven't spoken to her in years so I'm not sure if she's even back with anyone right now, but yeah.....I think you'd like her, lol.

See man, THIS is why I can't "cross wires"....lol.

For 40+ years she's had no idea her own cousin felt this way about her and if she came on this site she'd find out and knowing HER scared ass she'd probably avoid me from now on out of embarassment.....lol.

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