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Dear Chocolate Brutha

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With love to my Chocolate Brutha's.  In tears because I hurt for you, AND will NEVER give up on you.  We suffer, we win, we fight, we forgive, we love, we survive...TOGETHER!


Dear Chocolate Brotha,


I love you so much because I can see it in your beautiful eyes – Your determination, your fight, your struggle, your perseverance. 


You have that spirit that gives you the courage to withstand all obstacles. That spirit that measures your man-hood, that defies defeat -  that spirit in which your mother’s breasts nourished you for what’s to come, makes me fall in love with you over and over, again.  


Your eyes tell about the passion you have for family. I see the pain in your eyes, frustrated that you have to work twice as hard to get a nod - having to pat your own self on the back when you know that recognition is due. 


My heart bursts at the thought of your strength.  I admire your endurance, humility and humble spirit.  I fall in love with you over and over again, my Chocolate Brotha.


Don't ever change.  

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I have to admit.....

When I first started reading this I figured it was just another corny poem that was misplaced from the Poetree section -until I got to this part:


 frustrated that you have to work twice as hard to get a nod - having to pat your own self on the back when you know that recognition is due. 


That got me right there!
Felt it!


Sometimes just hearing someone articulate how YOU feel is enough to raise your spirits.


Thanks Sis!

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8 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

...having to pat your own self on the back when you know that recognition is due. 


Yeah that line resonated with me too. 


I don't talk about my personal life much online ...  But believe it, or not, my ex did not want to have anything to do with AALBC ... can you imagine?  I never got any encouragement for her indeed I can point to concrete example of when she actively thwarted my efforts.  I'll leave it at that.


I never looked to the wider audience (white folks) for validation, thought I fully appreciate that it is needed today to make any real money.  I work for the validation from Black people. If white folks appreciate what I do great, but that is not what motives me. 


While I don't need the validation of my partner, I will never enter into a long term relationship with a woman who does not support my work. I can only imagine what having a supportive Black woman by my side would have done for me and AALBC. 


Shoot, what would strong Black relationships do for the Black community in general?  It is unimaginable.



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Man, you know what.....I hear EXACTLY what you're saying.

There is nothing like having a woman's support and approval of what you're doing or trying to do.

That type of backing can energize you and get you to do almost anything because women are the CHEERLEADERS of society!


Whatever you're trying to do, if women aren't recognizing it or encouraging you to do it.....most men aren't going to want to do it.
Even if he STARTS to do it, if the women aren't giving him any attention....he's going to lose motivation and quit.
This is one of the reasons they have cheerleaders in sports.


✦⊱byesamir⊰✦ | Cheer girl, Black cheerleaders, Cheer poses




Like you said, some men have an internal motivating system or a "calling" to do certian things, but most don't.  The "success" of most men is based upon accumulating wealth and attracting women and if he fail in one of those....he's usually not happy.
If she acts like she doesn't care or isn't interested or isn't impressed...this can be devastating to a lot of brothers and kills their ambition.


This is related to what I was saying in another thread when you were asking why so many Black revolutionaries marry White women.

Caucasians are masters of deception and because of this most white women know how to stroke a Black man's ego.  She may be insincere and just trying to trick him and steal his wealth.....but  many still  know HOW to do it when they want to. 
They find a brother with his fists pumped in the air shouting "Black Power" and while the sisters just clap for him the Caucasian woman takes him back stage and gives him a blow-job, lol.

That sad part is a lot of good sisters don't even know HOW to properly motivate our brothers and encourage them to be stronger and better and many actually feel funny even trying to.  Which sets them at odds with Black men who naturally crave this.

So the men and women end up going separate ways.


Now as time goes by after years of knocks, tumbles, and fumbles by the time most AfroAmerican women are over 30 and most AfroAmerican men get to be over 40 we LEARN some sense.....lol.
We learn more about what makes the other tick and learn more of what to say and what not to say.  But by then, unfortunately for a lot of brothers and sisters the damage has already been done and they are bitter and resentful.

Most of our people haven't been properly taught the ART of marriage and how just like it's the duty of the men to protect and provide for the women and children...it's one of the duties of the women to CHEER ON the men and encourage them with their femininity and sexuality.

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1. I know there are many Black women who know how to support brothers and do so.  
But I'm talking in COMPARISION with the amount of those who don't.

Some may ask why dwell on those who don't instead of focusing on those who do; but my answer to that is the majority of our people didn't use or sell Crack-cocaine.....but enough of them DID to have a devastating effect on the community.

2. I neglected to mention that a lot of sisters who do offer support and KNOW how to motivate and encourage a man often do this with the WRONG Black men or the right Black men in the WRONG things.

On my street alone I can name you.....

-A very smart Black man who is a lawyer, divorced for over 7 years and goes home lonely ever night.

-A teenaged Black boy who is a good kid and shovels people's driveways when it snows and cuts grass.....who tells me he can't get a girlfriend in school.


On that same street I have......

- A Black man who doesn't work but lays around his girlfriends apartment smoking weed all day and she let's him driver her car around

- Another older Black man who does the same AND cheats on his wife having women over while she's at work.

-2 Black men who also smoke a lot of weed and live off their YOUNGER sister and her children and can't find housing because of felony records.  Although the brothers ARE pretty good conversationalists....lol.

My point is a lot of the brothers who AIN'T contributing or being productive in the community have women supporting them and taking care of them for one reason or another while the brother who do and did the "right thing" often have no women in their lives to push them or encourage them.

You mentioned that your wife wasn't interested in your company and that's the point, she shouldn't have to be.
Our sisters must be taught that being  a good wife doesn't necessarily mean finding your man's profession interesting yourself!
It's HIM and his AMBITION that you are supposed to find interesting and seek to motivate.

For the past 40 years or so women have been told that they should look for a man with which they have common interests, and I think that's a mistake.
Most heterosexual men DO NOT share the same interests as most heterosexual women.


If you got a man who can sit on the couch with his legs folded and gossip with you all day like one of your girlfriends....

You got the wrong man...lol



"Now baby, let me ask you a question.....
What do you think of having TWO husbands instead of just me?"


We tend to have separate mentalities with separate interests.
We have to learn how to bring out the best in eachother.

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Oh, brutha's, I dare you to read my book, "Are Black Women ALWAYS so Angry? Hmmm; Truth, Excuse or Something else".  I know that you understand me, but sometimes you forget.  Sometimes we, sista's, forget too.  Let's stop falling into the "Conveniently Black" (@Ajjones1007)  trap (my interpretation is that we fall prey to stereotypes that keep us down in order to fulfill the needs of others).


Black, night, Black sky, Black room & The Angry Black Woman


My skin - dark as the night - until the lights reveal my hue.

My face - beautiful as the night sky, present in every episode of life.

My heart - mysterious as a dark room until you open your heart and let me in.


Like the black night, black sky and black room, if you don't open your mind and acknowledge that I'm not ALWAYS so angry,

and if you don't open your hearts and accept me for the beautiful mess that I am, you will continue to miss out on the

essence of me and what we can do together.  


Dark as the night, beautiful as the sky and mysterious as a dark room -

not ALWAYS and Angry Black Woman.


Link to: Are Black Women ALWAYS so Angry:



p.s.  It would be reflective for my sista's to read too. 

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