Chapter 1

Though she knew she should take comfort that Mama Ella was going to ‘a better place,’ despite her grandmother’s efforts Karina’s faith in a benevolent God was shaky at best. She hung her head, mind racing and tears silently streaming down her face.

An hour later the eulogy had been read, favorite songs sung and prayers prayed. Reverend Amos addressed the crowd, “now, brothers and sisters, we will open up the floor for some of you to say a few words about Mother Maxwell. I know we’ve all been touched in some way by her kindness, but there’s not enough time for everyone to speak. The family has allotted fifteen minutes for tributes. We’ll then make one last procession to view Mother Maxwell in her beautiful red dress before heading to Rolling Hills Cemetery. Those of you who wish to speak, please line up to my right.”

Karina tried to pay attention to the accolades being showered on her grandmother but her mind kept wandering. She thought of the many times she and Mama Ella had sat at the kitchen table drinking sweet tea and planning the future. The memories of tilting her head backwards over the kitchen sink so Mama Ella could massage shampoo into her scalp made her smile. She thought of the pride in her grandmother’s eyes at her college graduation and her smile of joy when Karina and Zander stood at the same altar where the casket now rested, vowing to build a life together.

Suddenly a strangely familiar voice broke through Karina’s meandering thoughts.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. I recognize some of you, but there are a lot of unfamiliar faces too. Y’all look so beautiful in your red and yellow. I wish I’d known there was a chosen color, but I’m just grateful to be here to say goodbye to Mama Ella.”

Karina frowned as she looked up at the speaker. A rush of whispering and rustling built throughout the church as dozens of attendees shifted their attention to Karina, their stares and raised eyebrows questioning the identity of the newcomer.

It was the woman Zander had noticed. She wore a sleeveless navy-blue sheath that accentuated her figure while still being appropriate for the occasion. She had startling green eyes, eyebrows that arched naturally and long honey-colored micro braids that trailed down her back. Standing next to her was an equally impressive looking man in a perfectly cut suit. He was tall with golden skin, nearly black eyes, close-cropped hair and a neatly trimmed goatee. He stood close to the woman and held her hand as she spoke.

Karina willed herself not to panic as recognition sank in. She watched the play of emotions cross the woman’s face as she spoke of Mama Ella making her ‘walk and talk like a proper lady’ and teaching her how to bake from scratch. Karina marveled at what appeared to be genuine grief causing those eyes so like her own to well up and overflow with tears.

“I knew that if I didn’t come here today, when I meet my maker Mama Ella would be right there and she’d say, ‘Candace Janese Maxwell’ — cause you knew Mama was serious when she called you by your full government name.” Nods of agreement and titters of laughter made her pause before continuing. “— she’d say, I don’t care how long you’d been gone you know you was supposed to be at my Homegoing!’” Laughter echoed throughout the church.

“All goodbyes ain’t gone …” Mama Ella’s last words echoed in Karina’s head. Suddenly everything started to spin and she slipped out of consciousness.

Eugenia Jenkins saw Karina slump over and hurriedly directed the ushers to carry her to the ladies’ lounge. She frowned and muttered to herself, “now why that girl feel the need to make an appearance after all of these years? Giving folks something to gossip about instead of keeping the focus on Ella!” Eugenia had been Ella’s next-door neighbor and best friend for over forty years. There was nothing that she didn’t know about Ella’s family.

A few minutes later Karina felt a rush of cool air on her face as she came to consciousness. Concerned women waving fans and praying surrounded her.

“Excuse me ladies, I think my wife could use a little fresh air.”

Zander made his way to the middle of the circle of fluttering church ladies and helped Karina to her feet.

“Thanks for rescuing me,” Karina whispered.

Holding hands, they walked outside to the church garden and sat on a bench under a willow tree.

“Are you feeling better?” Zander asked.

Karina took a few deep breaths. “Yeah, I’m mostly embarrassed. I never understood why people pass out at funerals, and now look at me, in the spotlight.” Her voice trembled as she unconsciously twirled a button on her jacket.

“There’s no reason for you to be ashamed. Mama Ella meant the world to all of us but no one was closer to her than you. Everything you’re feeling is natural.”

“It’s not Mama Ella. I mean, of course it’s Mama Ella, but I wasn’t prepared for Candi to be here. The nerve of her to do this to me! Now, of all times! It’s just too much!” Angry tears welled up in her eyes.

Zander pulled her close. “Try to relax, Rina. She was bound to come home eventually. When we met in high school all Mama Ella could talk about was that ‘one day’ the infamous Candi would come home. Maybe it’s for the best. If you think about it, other than Samaya, Candi is your only close blood relative. Don’t you think Mama Ella would be happy to know the two of you are together again?”

Karina pulled away from him, her face twisted into an ugly expression he’d never seen before. “Did you talk to her? Did she say something to you?”

Zander’s confusion was obvious. “Calm down, baby! No, I haven’t spoken to her. But even before she spoke, I could tell she was a blood relative; she looks so much like you I had to do a double take.”

“She may be blood but she’s not family. She hasn’t been my family for a long, long time. Candi is a selfish, cold-hearted bitch and her being here can only bring more upheaval into our lives.”

Gently taking his wife’s hands in his, he whispered, “Baby, I know you’re hurting, but you haven’t seen her since you were seventeen years old. Maybe she’s changed. Don’t you think you should give her a chance?”

Karina let go of his hands and stood up. “No, Zander, we are way past second chances.”

Zander started to speak but Karina held up her hand to silence him. “She’s never going to change and I’m not going to let her get close enough to hurt me or my family ever again.”

Karina hurried back into the church. As luck would have it, she ran right into the one person she was hoping to avoid.

“Excuse me,” Candace murmured as she wiped her eyes with a tissue, not realizing who had bumped into her. Both women gasped when they looked at each other.

“You’re going the wrong way. The bathroom back here is reserved for the pastor and officers of the church.” Karina said in a haughty tone.

“Been a long time little sister,” Candace said in a carefully neutral tone.

“Not long enough,” Karina responded coolly.

“It’s gonna be like that, Rina? At our grandmother’s funeral?” Candace sighed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Karina maintained her calm demeanor.

“I’m not into games, Karina. I know I’m the last person you wanted to see today. But Mama Ella was my grandmother too and I have a right to be here.” Candace’s voice trembled slightly.

Karina glanced around and seeing no one nearby said, “I don’t care what you think your ‘rights’ are. You lost any ‘rights’ when you abandoned this family seventeen years ago.”

Candace jerked as if Karina had struck her. Before she could respond, Karina held up her hand and said with a withering look, “save it, Candi. I don’t have time for your tired excuses. I’m here to celebrate Mama Ella’s life. I don’t give a damn about what you have to say.”

“Is this grief or did you grow up to be a cold ass bitch?” Candace snapped. She took a deep breath and spoke more calmly, “I don’t have any excuses, but there are two sides to every story, Rina. Before you judge me, you need to think back to how you treated me. I may have left the family, but you made damn sure that the door slammed and locked behind me.”

“Oh come on Candi, you don’t get to play the victim. I was here and you weren’t. Period.”

Just then Samaya came around the corner with a quizzical look on her face. “Ri-Ma?” she said, dark eyes darting from her mother to the stranger she now knew to be her aunt. “Is everything okay?”

Karina plastered a smile on her face and threw a warning look at her sister. “Everything’s fine, sweetie. I was just coming to look for you.”

Samaya walked to the women. “You missed the viewing; she looked so pretty.” She struggled to hold back tears and said, “the cars are lined up and everyone’s waiting for the family to get in the limo to head to the cemetery.”

Karina attempted to steer her daughter back in the direction from which she’d come. Candace deftly stepped in between them. She glanced at Karina.

“Ri-Ma?” Without waiting for an answer she turned to Samaya and said with a smile, “I take it you’re my niece?”

Karina jumped in. “This is my daughter, Samaya. As a toddler she’d try to mimic Mama Ella and call me Rina. That morphed into Rina-Mama and then Ri-Ma. It stuck.”

Samaya smiled widely and held out her hand. “Hi.”

Candace laughed and held out her arms. “Girl, you are not gon’ shake your Auntie’s hand! Give me a hug!”

Karina held her breath as Samaya and Candace hugged. Candace held Samaya at arms’ length, taking in her smooth complexion, sparkling bright eyes and the Maxwell pointed chin.

“Samaya’s an unusual name. I like it.”

“Thank you, Mama Ella named me. Sometimes people call me Sammi.” At the mention of her great grandmother Samaya’s eyes brimmed with tears. She grabbed Karina’s hand. “Ri-Ma, I don’t want to go to the cemetery … I just can’t stand the thought of them throwing dirt on Mama Ella’s casket!” Samaya’s shoulders shook as she cried quietly.

“Shh baby, I understand.” Karina said, holding her close. “But you know Mama Ella wants us there to bear witness. It’s only her body in that casket. Her spirit is all around us.”

A few minutes later, Samaya smiled weakly at her aunt. “Sorry, I guess I lost it for a bit, but I’m okay now.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, honey.” Candace brushed a thumb across Samaya’s cheek to wipe a tear away.

Karina pulled Samaya closer. “We’d better hurry before your dad comes looking for us.” She guided her down the hallway.

Samaya stopped and looked back at Candace. “Auntie? Aren’t you coming? There’s plenty of room in the family car. It’s just Ri-Ma, Zandy and me.” She grinned, “oh yeah, Zandy is my dad, Zander. It’s cooler than Daddy.”

Candace and Karina answered “no” at the same time. Samaya frowned.

Karina explained, “Candi has been afraid of cemeteries ever since she was a little girl. No matter what the grown-ups said, they couldn’t convince her that they were peaceful places. Candi would start crying in the car and when we got there she’d either pass out or start running to the gates to get out. Finally, our parents said that she shouldn’t be forced to go anymore.”

Candace added, “and I never went to another cemetery. I know Mama Ella will understand.” She turned to Karina. “But you and I need to talk, little sister. The sooner, the better.”

Karina’s lips tightened but she shrugged and said, “sure, how long are you in town?”

“Actually, I moved back to the Bay Area a few months ago,” Candace said.

Try as she might, Karina could not mask her dismay. “What? You live here? Where? Why?” She stuttered.

Candace smirked. “Thanks for the warm welcome. We’re in Concord, not too close for your comfort. Why? Lots of reasons, but mainly because this has always been home and it was time for me to come back. We can talk more about that when we catch up.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you at Mama Ella’s house tomorrow at 11 o’clock,” Karina said.

“I’ll let myself in,” Candace replied.

“You still have the key?” Karina’s astonishment was evident.

Candace’s smile faded. “It was all I had of before,” she whispered. “I keep it with me all the time. I just hope the locks haven’t been changed.”

The sisters locked eyes. Karina sighed and said, “no, Candi, the locks were never changed. You just never used the key.”

As they walked to the limo, Samaya ran back to Candace and pressed a yellow rose into her hand. “I took this from the bouquet next to Mama Ella’s casket. I was going to throw it in at the graveside, but I think you should keep it.”

Fighting back tears, Candace said, “thank you, sweetheart,” and hurried out the side door.

Once they were settled in the back of the limo Samaya turned to her mother, “Ri-Ma, where has Auntie Candi been all these years? And why didn’t you ever talk about her?”

Karina patted her hand absentmindedly. “I don’t know, sweetie, out of sight, out of mind, I guess. This is Mama Ella’s day, let’s focus on her.”

Samaya threw a questioning look at her father, but he shrugged.

Samaya started to say more but noticed that her mother was studying the funeral program and quietly crying again.

Nick Myers found Candace sitting on the church garden bench, lost in thought. “I figured you’d be hiding out somewhere until everybody cleared out.”

“That was the plan, but I ran smack into the person I was avoiding,” she said, patting the spot beside her.

Nick unbuttoned his jacket and sat down, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “So how’d it go?”

“Let’s just say she didn’t welcome me with open arms.” Candace leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Well, you’ve been preparing yourself for this, but she hasn’t. You showing up out of the blue probably threw her for a loop.” He put his arm around his wife. “But my concern is how you’re doing?