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Showing content with the highest reputation on 08/26/2010 in all areas

  1. I write the following from what I have personally experienced/witnessed so I realize it does not apply to everyone, but it's another perspective to consider. I know a lot of women and none have ever been interested in thugs. We came of age before the era of the glorified thug. It may explain problems in the 20 - 30 age range, though. What I have encountered with men my age (40s - 50s) is that while in their 20s - 30s, they choose to remain single while replaying their adolescence. Having earned college and professional degrees, they were making good money, had their own place and a nice car. As the "cream of the crop" the pool of available women grew, and they could pick and choose. On the other hand, their female counterparts, with whom they'd shared high school and college, and with whom they had socialized for years, were forgotten. Add to that the onset of the thuggish male generation, and the pool of "good men" for these women shrank. So, a generation of eligible women was alone for the better part of their prime marriage/childbearing years. The good thing is that many of these women use the time wisely to build their education and careers. I even know a few that have adopted children. Quick story: A man of 35 who was interested in me called me "an old B" (literally) when he found out I was 39. Eight years later, this man is still single at 43 and still very much the adolescent despite his other life accomplishments. As for dating/marrying outside the race, I only know a few black man who are married to white women. A lot of black men date/marry Latinas, because (I am told) when seeking a woman who is "traditional" and beautiful, they have the complete package. However, I have started to notice an increase in the number of black woman/white man relationships/marriages -- especially black women dating/marrying European men -- who don't have the same racial hangups that Americans have.
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  2. @ Troy, Have you read Juwanza Kunjufu's book: Why Black Men Don't Go to Church? Also the lastest book by bell hooks entitled: Rock My Soul: Black People and Self-Esteem is a very good book that could be consulted in this dialogue. @ Mel, I have found in my experience that "some" women prefer the thug-man over the "nice" man. This attraction for the thug-man usually begins at about age twelve or thirteen and lasts until around age thirty to thirty-five. Usually during the mid-thirties the light bulb comes on, and now she is ready for the "nice" guy, you know, the one that was totally ignored in high school, the smart one, the one that focused more on his academics than his "mack." The problem is that she doesn't know how to interact/communicate with the "nice" guy because all of her experience has been with the thug-man, the man with the street edge, the man with the street swagger, the man who is exciting sexually (perceived idea), but is ineffective when it comes to intellectual stimulation. There is no connection with an educated, together brother. The solution? She will, more than likely go back to what she knows best, that is, the thug-man. This type of sister can be found from all walks of life, including the "successful" ones. Therefore, most guys will just succumb to the "eye-candy," because they just get tired of the ridiculous drama and games. The majority of the Black "nice" guys will be snapped up, in all likely-hood, by White sisters, even though, rarely, a Black sister will attract one. Ironically, even the "nice" Black sister is attracted to the thug-man. What I have presented is something to think about, and ponder.
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