@ Troy, Have you read Juwanza Kunjufu's book: Why Black Men Don't Go to Church? Also the lastest book by bell hooks entitled: Rock My Soul: Black People and Self-Esteem is a very good book that could be consulted in this dialogue.
@ Mel, I have found in my experience that "some" women prefer the thug-man over the "nice" man. This attraction for the thug-man usually begins at about age twelve or thirteen and lasts until around age thirty to thirty-five. Usually during the mid-thirties the light bulb comes on, and now she is ready for the "nice" guy, you know, the one that was totally ignored in high school, the smart one, the one that focused more on his academics than his "mack." The problem is that she doesn't know how to interact/communicate with the "nice" guy because all of her experience has been with the thug-man, the man with the street edge, the man with the street swagger, the man who is exciting sexually (perceived idea), but is ineffective when it comes to intellectual stimulation. There is no connection with an educated, together brother. The solution? She will, more than likely go back to what she knows best, that is, the thug-man. This type of sister can be found from all walks of life, including the "successful" ones. Therefore, most guys will just succumb to the "eye-candy," because they just get tired of the ridiculous drama and games. The majority of the Black "nice" guys will be snapped up, in all likely-hood, by White sisters, even though, rarely, a Black sister will attract one. Ironically, even the "nice" Black sister is attracted to the thug-man. What I have presented is something to think about, and ponder.