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Well, it finally came to pass. What folks being interviewed on the evening news lament about when describing whatever calamity they always figured happened to someone else had suddenly happened to them, has happened to me. .It all started on Memorial Day at a family cook-out. There I sat gnawing on a barbequed rib, licking my lips to savor the sauce when I was joined by my oldest granddaughter, the one I had christened my "golden girl" because she was so smart, accomplished, and pretty. A mischievous grin creased her face as she plopped down and promptly informed that she had something to tell me. Before I could wonder what, she made her 2-word announcement, "I'm gay!" I continued to chew but the meat wasn't going down as her whole life passed before me, including the red flags I'd chosen to ignore. "I've told every body else", she went on, "and now it's your turn." I considered talking with my mouth full so she couldn't understand what I felt like saying. But I kept my composure, reminding myself how liberal I always lied about being when it came to homosexuality, while giving lip service to my "live and let live" philosophy during arguments with the religious nay sayers who had driven me into the gay camp with their sanctimonious prating, and playing of the abomination card. "Well, I still love you," was all I managed say as I tried to blot out the visuals that began to flash in my mind inspired by my other favorite line of defense against homophobes. "What goes on behind closed doors between consenting adults is nobody else's business." EU. Months later, same scenario, different holiday, gathered around a card table munching on a barbequed hot link, trying to ignore the familiar grin my granddaughter was flashing, as my 2 daughters exchanged wary glances. "She's not my husband, she's my wife," my granddaughter explained during the Q&A period following her announcement that she and her partner had gotten married. How could you call someone who wears combat boots, vests, and pants that sag a "wife" was all I wanted to know. Not swayed by the long dread locks said wife sported, I shrugged, glad the she was not among those present since my son's sullen disgust would've proved awkward. (So much for his theory that his daughter's affair was just a phase.) At least her out-of-state mother was accepting. Indifference was the reaction of her cousins and brother.. And then it was Labor Day Little did I know how significant that word would be as the usual crowd gathered to bid summer good bye and chow down on whatever was smoking on the grill. "We got a friend to be a sperm donor," was my granddaughter's explanation for her pregnancy. "Did you by any chance enjoy making the baby?" I asked vicariously, following the news that the semen squirter was a good looking college graduate. A sly smirk was the answer. "He wanted to stay all night," she confessed. With that being the case, I was puzzled as to why then the attraction to women. And a butch one in particular. My granddaughter, however, was having none of my interrogation. She reminded me that she was an adult who didn't have to justify her choices in life. And she's right. Tonight is New Year's Eve and everybody has different parties to go to. No family gathering, - thank goodness. I'm staying home and when the shooting starts, I'll guzzle some Champagne and contemplate what 2016 will hold. This I know. Hardly a day will pass without an occasion to give pause and absorb the closure provided by the "it is, what it is" adage. C'est la Vie.

Hello Cynique, Happy belated Holidays. Well, I have just learned how you spent a portion of your holiday. We all have unique family members. I agree with Troy on how well you handled the announcement. I also agree that you should write. You are a fine storyteller. Recapturing one's life is really a big task indeed.You are rich in your wisdom, I think you should try it. Now, there is one thing that I cannot hear from you--the time we have left, and of course, the lazy part. I am in the same boat--not the lazy part. I feel like if I don't get it done now, it won't happen. For this I say, leave instructions for your memoir for a dear family member to write--perhaps your grand daughter. That's exactly what I am going to do if my clock tries to stop ticking before I get my stories done Finally, homosexuality is no longer a secret to be left in the closet. My oldest sister was gay for a while and then she went back to men. Was she gay or not? I am still confused (LOL). Looks like the discussion board is off to a great start. Hello Troy, I just finished listening to the sample audio version of Home Is #@%*!#@ Burning. OMG! I am working on my semi-biography now. I have been wrestling with how intense to make it. I think I just got my answer. I've got to get this book. Glad to be back.

So sad indeed

2016 is starting off on a sad note what with the passing of singer Natalie Cole and now Frances Cress Welsing. Farewell to these 2 black legends who made their mark in different fields of endeavor but will both leave behind an impressive body of work.

You are not only a good example but an eloquent spokesman for the community of free thinkers, Chris. You are the anti-thesis of dogmatic religious hypocrites. As for Sara, the erratic behavior of this loose cannon leads me suspect that she might be bi-polar and off her meds. In my case, I would compare her to a white racist. "Ageism" is actually the name give to the practice of discriminating against senior citizens. It's like when when bigoted whites can't get over on blacks, in frustration, they will just call them niggers. Similarly, when younger people can't get over on older ones they will desperately make negative references to their age. I really thought Sara could've been more creative in her rants, constantly talking about dipping snuff. I guess this is something she is familiar with. I didn't know people still did this. LOL. I was also curious as to why she would state with such certainty that I was from the town of Robbins, Illinois, a place I've never even been to. Just another example of how bizarre she is. Oh well. Maybe Sara will come back. She likes Troy, and I think she secretly likes you, too, Chris.

I never insulted anyone. I'm still waiting on the place where I dissed BLACK preachers. I actually begged Sara to show me this and she never showed it to me. I actually went back and reread everything I wrote and after doing so I realized that I made pretty good discussion points and I said about 6 different times that all religions are important because they give people morality and if religion keeps people from doing things then so be it. I can't find anywhere that I attacked Sara or her religion. When I said Preachers pimping their congregations, that was exactly what I meant. When these guys like Creflo and Joel Osteen have multi-million dollar businesses, or even in my local city where there are 5 churches on every block, and homelessness and a high crime rate and the highest infant mortality rate and teenage pregnancy, all in one of the biggest Bible belts in the country, then there is a problem with those preachers. This has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity. I mean I went out of my way to give personal info about my wife and other things to establish that I hold no ill will towards any religion. I assume because I said I meditate Sara decided to say that I am fond of Asian philosophy. What's wrong with that? I also established that I was very fond of the Nation of Gods & Earths founded by Clarence 13X. It didn't matter what I wrote in regard to this, the sister came back and over and over said I said something I never said. When she began cursing out Cynique, all of a sudden the biting wit of a Christian was replaced with the vitrol of something completely different. So when I said Sara has PTSD it was due to the completely different 180 that the tone of her writing took in regard to speaking to an older woman. Now age doesn't create automatic respect, and I have no idea how old Sara is or who she really is, but that whole exchange as "playful" as it appeared, seemed to have some evidence of familiarity. It simply was too easy for a person so new to the boards to shift into. As it stands, the only reason I'm commenting now is because I felt the need to explain myself. Nowhere within this 4 pages did I disrespect anyone. I challenged Nelson. I wasn't disrespectful to him. I simply wanted evidence of the power of his philosophy. Why Sara saw that as an attack. I have no idea. How it turned into a discussion on Christianity, I have no idea. Below I have listed every instance when I said all religions and philosophies are valid. I am doing this so Sara can find where I said something against Christianity: 1. I admire when someone understands and knows their philosophy. I think it's respectable. What isn't respectable is thinking that your way is the right way. There is no one method, there are only options and people have the right to study whatever they choose and to pursue whatever path they want to become enlightened. 2. A person can be ignorant of Set, Jesus, Mohammed, whoever but if they understand compassion for humans they are okay in my book. 3. In NG&E there is a philosophy of each one, teach one. You build by challenging or asking someone to drop science. In Christianity the disciples questioned Jesus, this gave them the ability to spread his word without faltering. In Islam Muhammad even questioned God's revelation and had to be supported by Kadhijah. In Buddhism Siddhartha questioned everything and this is what led to the 4 Noble Truths and Nirvana. Sikhs broke from Hindus. My reason for bringing this up, because I know you are going to say that all of these religions were born of Kemet and are flawed in some way, is because in any delivery of information from the informed to the uninformed examples and explanations must be given as to why a person should choose. Once those reasons and explanations are given, then a person has free will to choose whatever philosophy they want. 4. Every religion has value and all people and persons are important regardless of their beliefs or background. 5. While I taught there I lost kids from every culture to violence. I realized then that there wasn't any one right idea. We had Black kids who went through Sankofa training and Kemetic philosophy (beat and abused by their own). All of these kids cried the same, failed the same, loved the same, hurt the same, succeeded the same. The only difference was some were Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Catholic, African Philosophy, all of them were beautiful and intelligent... (page 2 of this chat) 6. On page 3 Sara joins after Nelson and I have been writing. I make a statement about preachers who pimp their congregation being the same as the Klan and they are. I remember when preachers had jobs just like everyone else in the congregation. They did not rely on the church to provide their living. My Baptist preacher when I was a kid worked just as hard as everyone else and the church was good. That began to change with prosperity preaching... but I digress. In the middle of page three it was Sara who began to attack me and the dialogue became ugly. She was disgusted with me for making an analogy, but had overlooked the multitude of times I made the statements I made above. She completely ignored and built her entire discussion around a lie. I never said anything about Black preachers or anything negative about Christianity. Even after page three I made these statements below. 7. I went as far as to explain the breakdown of my basketball team where I had almost every religion there and my team captain,who is now a preacher following in his father's footsteps who married my wife and I because she is Christian, was the team captain. You are on one sis. I mean you are really on one. I go on below to say that all religions have merit, but I said that so many times on these three pages it's redundant. 8. I choose parts of all doctrines I have studied and I incorporate those things into my life. I can call a person God because I admire the studies of the Nation of Gods and Earths founded by Clarence 13X. I admire the Supreme Mathematics and Alphabet. I can say Namaste because I admire the stillness that Buddhism teaches. I can say God Bless you because the Ten Commandments and Jesus is worthy of being studied and understood. I can say Inshallah (God Willing) because Muhammad provides people with a path to God and this makes many people better. Because I can respect all of these ideals and philosophies I am content with the fact that I live my life through logic and meditation and spirituality. If you claim a religion and it makes you a better person and you need it to make you a better person this doesn't make you less or greater than me and vice versa. It just is the way it is. 9. On page 4 I left my last words and exited the discussion. Now, Sara has continuously said after I left that I dissed Christianity. If my name is going to be mentioned, I need proof or I have no reason to dive into this again. I just wanted to make sure I clarified that whatever someone reads here, I did not and do not disrespect religions or philosophies. Never have and I never will. Religion and philosophy brings peace and calm to people who truly practice it. You guys can go back to your banter.

Yes, you must've erased that option you indicated with an arrow because it does not appear on my screen. Thanks for the suggestions in regard to compiling a memoir collection. Maybe I'll make it a new year's resolution.

LOL. Well, Troy, I tell people all the time who want to excuse my maliciousness, insisting that I am really a sweet person. Not so. My children say I'm passive aggressive. I am and always have considered myself a skeptic polemicist. I like to argue especially with other know-it-alls and I am aware that when challenging other people's arguments I often include personal insults in my repertoire because I am very good at being catty. I have further observed that indifference trumps indignation, having learned how counter-productive the ego can be. I am, however, nice to people I like. And my favorites are laid back folks who don't take themselves too seriously because these are invariably the type who have the most going for themselves and are secure enough to let you find this out for yourself. A good sense of humor, particularly one that encompasses wry wit usually wins me over. Some people I just like because I get good vibes from them. Like you and Chris who I can disagree with but still appreciate because you're both cool and smart Not the case with the frothing, uptight, Sister Sara. Her mercurial personality was off-putting from the start and her supreme self-confidence unwarranted. (I'd be interested in the name of her published book which was undoubtedly a best-seller. Not.) Plus, her cherry-picking responses were ploys to void valid points by omitting them while trying to reinforce her own questionable opinions. Most revealing was the need to reassure herself that saying something made it so, as demonstrated by her frenetic eagerness to tell me that she had "cleaned by clock" when - I don't even own a clock; or a watch either. I tell time by lookin at a sundial. I knew I had Sorry Sara when she played the age card. That's always the last resort of people who have run out of retorts and panicked. I actually found her kind of pathetic because she was so transparent in her aggressive attempts to hide the inner fragility that kept her on the defense. Good thing she has taken her leave from this board because reading this might ignite THE WRATH OF SARA!!

Because of the pivotal year during which I was born, I have been fortunate enough to have witnessed a very interesting period in America's evolution. And seen through my eyes has made it even more compelling because although i was black, i was surrounded by whiteness and this gave me a dual perspective. I don't have a degree in history. I have lived history, being a part of the back story that never got recorded in books. People are always telling me I should write a memoir and I think about doing it but I am, for want of a better word, lazy. My Muse needs to energize me because my urge to write comes and goes and suffers from dry spells. I have considered dictating my recollections into this device called a "dragon" which transforms spoken words into typed text. That way I could get it all down, and then go back and edit the draft the dragon would produce. I do know that if I decide to take on this project, I'd better hurry up because time is running out... BTW, Happy New Year. And whatever happened to feature that allowed you to upload pictures? i wanted to post a greeting card on this site.