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Twitter and LiLi can...kiss

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So LiLi, is that what it is? I mean, I don't know how to do what? Use Twiiter?

Come on Scare Crow... I mean LiLi, admit it, you’re just lost in a Poppy Field.

I mean, you're doing what? Following? What's with "follow me on Twitter"??!! That sounds like something Dorothy would say to the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion... "follow me down the Twitter (yellow brick) road". See, I've been called a dog but I am not Toe-Dough or Toto. I mean, follow you where?

Listen, Twitter ain’t nothing but a Drive-by shooting. They should call it Jitter because any ol'crackhead could say "Hi, whatcha doing, catch ya later". I mean, WTH is going on? Really, isn't that system like a drive-by shooting.... BANG BANG, you're dead -see you later. If a clown calls me on the phone and says, "Whats up man, am going to the movies tonight"... and then hangs up, I am done with his ass. I mean, really, they could have missed me with that one. Who wants to read twitter, I mean, a "drive-bye" (140 characters) shout out?

Don't get me wrong, I love the give and take of a good conversation (even Cynique’s) but Damn, isn't Twitter akin to somebody knocking on your door, and then punching you in the face. Then,they're off to punch another idiot. I mean, who drops by your house and says 10 words and then leaves? What's that mess about? Don't get me wrong, on some occasions a short reply is just what the doctor ordered, but am just saying...

For real, is there a rewards program for short bursts of "hello, am gone"? Really, I need to know because I can use a plastic key chain. Maybe it's just this new generation of X-boxers and BET-ers? Maybe I should blame it on Rap music - that's it...... "BOOM BOOM BOOM.... grab my nuts... am gone" WTH?

To tell the truth, I am really pissed off because I should have invented that mess. I mean, the advertising slogan wouldn't be that complicated... "TWITTER! Come on by. You don't have to say a goddam thang and you can't stay long - just drive-by"

Twitter is like pissing in the river. A whole lot of swinging pricks could release their streams down the bank of the river, and the tide wouldn't rise, Cuz, that steam is going to stop in about 20 seconds. I mean, come on, WTH is Twitter?

Jitter Bug - Twitter Bug - Tweety Bird - LiLi Bird. What kind of bird don't fly? What kind of people tweet? Granted, Twitter seems to be a way to catch groupies, but I am talking about them pimp or die tweet-sweets. Now I ain't talking about nobody, but is strictly tweet for dead heads? Maybe it's for people that watch porn flicks by themselves? I don't know, am just asking. I mean, who watches porn flicks for the sound?? I mean, ain't that just like Twitterettes, they ain't sayin a goddam thang?

I know...... I know, “Carey, STFU!” but at least I’m saying it long & loud... like I’m fat and proud. You show me a trench coat wearing flasher and I'll show you a Tweet Sweet. Of course I am kidding about them being sweet, but I bet most of them can be found trolling on the Internet and Twitterland, for underage girls... "hello, my name is Johnny, how old are you - tweeeeeet?"

If you ever see me tweeting, call the loony wagon because I 've lost my F**kin' mind.

Nawl Miss LiLi, you got me all messed up. Ain’t no shame in my thang. I just ain’t prone to follow (or sniff) some negroes behind. :P

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Carey, face it, is a new world. I mean for a guy your age you are remarkably technically savvy, but at some point it will catch up to you -- to us all.

You probably prefer LP's, longing for the days where you could read liner notes and look at album art (maybe even separate the seeds). You miss the heft a the old phones and probably the actual process of rotary dialing -- whose idea was it to have so many phone companies, right?

There was an article in the paper today about an underutilized cell phone app -- voice calling. Most young people find texting to be more efficent than speaking. Twitter actually extends this functinality for younger people on that wave length.

No need to get all bent out of shape man. If you don't get it and can't figure it out just ignore it.

There are still folks who listen to music on LP's and it works for them. They are perfectly content letting the young folks deal with the technology and software required for managing and playing digital music files.

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See Troy, that's why I like you, everytime I got low on my stash, I knew who had the good weed *LOL*. Man, how did you know that I once separated the weed from the seed, by using LP covers?

But Troy, of course everything you say is true. I hate to say this, but it's hard to teach an old dog... new tricks. I mean, I can do them, but when you get to be my age (and have fallen down), it's easiser to see what's really important, and the difference between something that "seems" to be important. But again, whatever makes the person happy/comfortable, then hey, it's their thang. But it's hard for me to pass up a chance to holla at those old grisly women.

In my next column (part-time day job), I'm doing something with this theme (Twitter, facebook, instant communication, etc), in relation to how it affects the core of "family life" and/or the family unit. It's not going to center on a person's immediate family (although part of it), but also a person's social life, in and around his neighborhood and his extended family.

I've been gathering feedback (as in this post), to use as counterpoints. Then I am going to analize the payoff.

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Carey in some ways I actually agree with you...

I was in the subway yesterday (ohh I hate the subway but the weather was crap and I had to get downtown) and I watched these too kids around 10 years of age, obviously brothers. They were 100% in engaged in their PSP's the whole time I was on the train. This might sound like hyperbole but it seemed kinda sad. These kids were in the own separate little worlds.

Then I thought about how I never see kids playing outside any more. No games of tag, no jumping rope, I just envisioned kids teethered to xboxes and game boys all day. Not talking or playing with each other unless it was through technology.

But technology has also given the individual access to information and in some sense power. My every livelyhood would have been impossible to envision even 10 years ago and is the result of this new fangled technology.

Honestly I don't get twitter either, but I'm on it because I need to make sure I down with any technology so many people find important. It is more of a business decision than a personal one.

I think I told this story once before, but I think it illustrates your sentiments:

I was at dinner with an accomplish author and about 5 other people. The accomplished author, a professor, can agurably be described as brilliant. She sat next to me and every few minutes or so she would bow her head and start typing something into her cell phone. After I while I asked, "What are you doing?".

"Oh, I'm just twittering", she said looking up and smiling apologetically.

Feigning ignorance, I asked, "Twitter? What is that?"

She went on to provide a realtiely lame description of Twitter to me.

I said, "I really don't get it. Why do you find it so engrossing?"

"Well it is really something to do, you know, when you aren't really doing anything"

"Oh, like now?", I said as I looked around the table full of people engrossed in lively conversation.

I'm about 8 years older than this author. As far as technology is concerned 8 years is an eternity. Just 5 years ago there was no Youtube, facebook and defitnely no Twiiter. She also sees no problem sitting in a restaurant simultaneously twittering away (actually saying tweeting the fact that she was eating dinner with us) and talking to the people she was sitting physically sitting with.

I find that behavior slightly rude; but I'm from a different generation, technologywise.

I think my oldest daughter would be happy if it was possible to surgetically implant her ipod into her brain.

I often wonder what they would happen if we lost electricaly for a month or so. Would some of us just snap?

I find that many people I grew up my age and older, do not have email. Some say, "Yeah, I need to get a computer". Part of me thinks why bother; paying for internet access, dealing with PC problems, learning to use software. I wanna say, "Man, don't worry about it you are probably better off just sitting here (metaphorically) sipping your wine and kicking it with your homies.

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Twitter is absolute Bullshit. That broad is in there with a room full of people and can't think of anything more to do than exchange messages with entities that could be nothing more than message bots for all she knows. She was rude, and if she'd been in my house I'd have thrown her butt out, and I consider evidence that the victim was a Twitterer an absolute defense to the charge of murder.

It is only evidence that Americans are a stupid and frivolous people. That 'everybody' is doing it does not mean it is hip or in or whatever they want to call it.

In another couple of years conmen Bill Gates and Steve Jobs will have all the techno monkeys doing something else--I notice this:

That we keep getting all these newfangled electronic communication devices does not change the imbecillic quality of the exchanges being made--that is 99% of what "information" is being passed is absolute bullshit.

"Chewing gum for the mind!" a wise man is supposed to have exclaimed when he first heard of television. Everybody poo pooed him and opined how it meant that everybody would be sitting around watching performances of Shakespeare plays, Grand Opera and lectures by wise academicians.

When I think of Twitter and Facebook and cellphones, I thank God for the existence of Weapons of Mass Destruction and do not fear their use...

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Excellent points, Troy. That's exactly what I'll be writing about. I believe the invention/use of these items (although useful, in the eyes of many) have caused a grave disconnect within the "family" unit. And just like your example of the rude girl, I question how these devices play into the mores/habits of certain cultures. In this case, as you mentioned, we could be developing a new generation of individuals they may be missing those important interaction skills that are necessary to build good character.

Now, because I write for a family friendly newspaper, I have choosen to wrap my piece (this piece) around a personal family experience. Well, we never had a car, nor a telephone. I'll start from there.

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