A Jealous And Insecure Man

[Pioneer1]

Let me ask a provocative question.....

What's wrong with a man being jealous and insecure?

Not in a timid and scared way to the point that he doesn't take risks or chances.
But in a protective and territorial way where he's generally on alert when other men come around and suspicious that they may try to push up on his woma(e)n or take his money.

If a man should NOT think like this, WHY shouldn't he?

[Troy]

Jealously and insecurity are human emotions nothing is inherently wrong with them, but like all negative emotions including hate, fear, envy, etc we should try to moderate then.

 

If a brother greets your woman with a smile while you are standing there, do you fly into a rage or are your pleased that she was greeted in a friendly manner?

 

Do you later give her grief, or slap her around, for encouraging the brother or do you think homie was a friendly guy?

 

The emotions are natural what provokes them and how we react to them is what matters. 

[ProfD]

2 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Let me ask a provocative question.....

What's wrong with a man being jealous and insecure?

As @Troy alluded, those are negative emotions. Usually points to deeper issues within that individual.

 

People don't make the best decisions based on their emotions. 

 

Jealousy and insecurity are not traits that enable a man to provide for and protect his woman, children, family, village, etc.

 

 

2 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

But in a protective and territorial way where he's generally on alert when other men come around and suspicious that they may try to push up on his woma(e)n or take his money.

If a man should NOT think like this, WHY shouldn't he?

A man should have the mental and physical abilities to handle his business. No time for jealousy and insecurity.

 

In fact, a strong man (mentally & physically) doesn't have to worry about his woman leaving and/or another man testing him.

 

A strong man can easily find another woman. They are attracted to him.

[Pioneer1]

Troy

 

Jealously and insecurity are human emotions nothing is inherently wrong with them, but like all negative emotions including hate, fear, envy, etc we should try to moderate then.

 

I would argue that although these are STRONG emotions, they aren't necessarily negative emotions.
It depends on their origins, context, and how they're used.

 

A man COULD use being jealous or envious of another man to take HIS woman and money....or use those same feelings and the energy they invoke to get an even MORE ATTRACTIVE woman and MORE MONEY than the man he was jealous of.

 

I believe as humans we were given all of our emotions....including jealousy and envy....for a reason.

 

 

 

 

 

If a brother greets your woman with a smile while you are standing there, do you fly into a rage or are your pleased that she was greeted in a friendly manner?

I wouldn't fly into a rage over such a minor act; but depending on WHO that brother is and especially HER REACTION to it....it may be a cause of some concern, lol.

 

If a brother KNOWN to try to snatch up every woman he comes across for the fun of it smiles at my lady a little too long I would notice that and be on alert.
And if SHE starts slobbering and acting bashful over his greetings as if she's being tickled by it...that TOO will put me on alert...lol.

 

 

 

 

Do you later give her grief, or slap her around, for encouraging the brother or do you think homie was a friendly guy?

 

I don't slap women around, however as I said....depending on HER REACTION and how often this happens...I would probably consider LEAVING her.

I don't like dealing with the stress of wondering whether or not my lady is cheating on me.

In this type of society women are too independent and we spend too much time away from eachother for me to keep an eye on her all day....so if I know she's prone to that, I just wouldn't have her as a "main".
....a SIDE DISH maybe....lol....but not my "lady".
 

 

 

 

 

 

ProfD

 

 

As @Troy alluded, those are negative emotions. Usually points to deeper issues within that individual.

 

They may indeed have issues going on in their lives.
Yet my question remains...WHAT'S WRONG with them being jealous and insecure that another man may take what they have?

 

Perhaps their insecurities are JUSTIFIED.

Perhaps he's deformed, or sexually dysfunctional, or struggles with some sort of addiction and feels that at any time his woman may be unsatisfied with him and may leave him for a "better catch".
Wouldn't it MAKE SENSE for him to be insecure and jealous when other men she may like, come around?

 

 

 

 

People don't make the best decisions based on their emotions. 

While this is true, there is usually a THOUGHT that preceded those emotions....and THAT'S what a person should pay attention to.
An emotion is simply a REACTION to a thought.
But the thought itself may be justified because it was brought about for a reason.

You have a woman who is YOUR woman...but for the past few weeks she has to get up and go downstairs to talk to somebody every other night at 2 and 3 in the morning.
She gets off of work at 5 pm and usually comes straight home....but for the past few weeks she's been coming home at 10 and 11pm at night and doesn't even have an excuse for doing so.

That's enough to make the AVERAGE man a little "emotional"....lol.

You'd be a fool not to suspect SOMETHING strange is going on.

 

 

 

 

Jealousy and insecurity are not traits that enable a man to provide for and protect his woman, children, family, village, etc.

 

I'm not sure about insecurity but I do believe JEALOUSY would definitely enable a man....atleast provide him with the energy and motivation...to protect his woman, children, family, and village.

Jealousy is a sign that he really loves or atleast desires the object OF his jealousy and would do almost anything to keep it....including fight and kill for it.

Show me a man who never gets jealous over his woman and I'll show you a man who DOESN'T HAVE a woman....or can't keep her long because another man who actually DOES want her will take her away...lol.

 

A man should have the mental and physical abilities to handle his business. No time for jealousy and insecurity.

In fact, a strong man (mentally & physically) doesn't have to worry about his woman leaving and/or another man testing him.
A strong man can easily find another woman. They are attracted to him.

You're speaking in idealistic terms....not necessarily realistic.
 
Besides, most women in this society who cheat...don't seem to choose the mean they cheat with based on their strength.
Mental or physical.
 

The fact is, based on my observation....most cheating occurs by simple ACCESS.
They more you're around a person of the opposite sex the more likely you are to have sex with them as you get to know them and know more about them.

Many Arabs and people in very religious cultures have BEEN known this for centuries....which is why they usually keep men and women who aren't married to eachother SEPARATE.
They don't work together or even go to school together.

They know things will just "happen" between men and women.

[ProfD]

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

A man COULD use being jealous or envious of another man to take HIS woman and money....or use those same feelings and the energy they invoke to get an even MORE ATTRACTIVE woman and MORE MONEY than the man he was jealous of.

There is nothing to gain in taking another man's woman.

 

A man's energy is better spent increasing his own wealth. 

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

...I would probably consider LEAVING her.

I don't like dealing with the stress of wondering whether or not my lady is cheating on me.

 

In this type of society women are too independent and we spend too much time away from eachother for me to keep an eye on her all day....

It's best to not get involved with a woman who's not truly on the team. No stress.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Yet my question remains...WHAT'S WRONG with them being jealous and insecure that another man may take what they have?

It is unproductive. People cannot own each other.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Perhaps he's deformed, or sexually dysfunctional, or struggles with some sort of addiction and feels that at any time his woman may be unsatisfied with him and may leave him for a "better catch".

Wouldn't it MAKE SENSE for him to be insecure and jealous when other men she may like, come around?

A man should do whatever it takes to mske himself more attractive. More importantly, he should pursue women who are genuinely interested in him.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

You have a woman who is YOUR woman...but for the past few weeks she has to get up and go downstairs to talk to somebody every other night at 2 and 3 in the morning.
She gets off of work at 5 pm and usually comes straight home....but for the past few weeks she's been coming home at 10 and 11pm at night and doesn't even have an excuse for doing so.

The question becomes was she ever really his woman and how did he lose her.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Show me a man who never gets jealous over his woman and I'll show you a man who DOESN'T HAVE a woman....or can't keep her long because another man who actually DOES want her will take her away...lol.

Men don't have to be jealous or insecure if they are with women who are genuinely attracted to them.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

You're speaking in idealistic terms....not necessarily realistic.

Realistic in my environment. 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Besides, most women in this society who cheat...don't seem to choose the mean they cheat with based on their strength.
Mental or physical.

Just like men, women cheat for a number of reasons. 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

They more you're around a person of the opposite sex the more likely you are to have sex with them.

Depending on where one lives, works and plays, they can be around the same people of the opposite sex for many years without getting physical.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Many Arabs and people in very religious cultures have BEEN known this for centuries....which is why they usually keep men and women who aren't married to eachother SEPARATE.
They don't work together or even go to school together.

They know things will just "happen" between men and women.

There's several reasons culturally that men and women are kept separate. 

 

A man should only get involved with women to the extent that his mental can handle it.

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

 

There is nothing to gain in taking another man's woman.

 

1. If that was his GOAL....to take "his" woman...then that was the gain in and of itself!
2. As you've so often said before, people don't OWN eachother...so is that really "his" woman; or is she a free woman who can make up her mind as to who she wants to choose and be with moment by moment?

 

 

A man's energy is better spent increasing his own wealth. 

 

In your and my opinion, yes....however people tend to have their own goals.
If HIS particular goal isn't to increase wealth but to get THAT woman he's had eyes on since 9th grade....and he finally has an opportunity to snag her, then in HIS mind his energy is best spent chasing after her.

 

 

 

It's best to not get involved with a woman who's not truly on the team. No stress.

 

Some men learn that as they get older, some men don't learn it at all.
Some men actually like the chase and the psychological games of trying to "win" her over to his team.

 

 

 

 

It is unproductive. People cannot own each other.

 

See....you just backed up what I said earlier about people not owning eachother.
However FEAR is a powerful motivator.
If you have wealth or women and don't want to lose them....FEAR and the prospect of getting hurt will prevent a lot of men from attempting to take them from you.

 

 

 

 

A man should do whatever it takes to mske himself more attractive. More importantly, he should pursue women who are genuinely interested in him.

 

You'll get no arguments from me on this.
However if she's genuinely interested...he shouldn't have to pursue for too long...lol.

 

 

 

 

Men don't have to be jealous or insecure if they are with women who are genuinely attracted to them.

 

Unless another man she's ALSO genuinely attracted to also comes along...lol.
Now you got competition.

 

 

 

Depending on where one lives, works and plays, they can be around the same people of the opposite sex for many years without getting physical.

 

Ofcourse.
But proximity is the biggest factor.

 

Most boys find their girlfriends...not at some public playground...but as school.
Most men find their wives...not at a club or bar...but at work.

Again, this is why most men from eastern cultures keep their women AWAY from working jobs and at home.

[frankster]

On 11/15/2025 at 8:54 AM, Pioneer1 said:

Let me ask a provocative question.....

What's wrong with a man being jealous and insecure?

Jealousy is not always a bad thing....neither is being insecure

Both are means use by your subconscious mind to tell you something is not what it appears to be...

How you react or interpret that information is what makes it beneficial or detrimental.

 

On 11/15/2025 at 8:54 AM, Pioneer1 said:

Not in a timid and scared way to the point that he doesn't take risks or chances.

Understood...

Timidity is being cautious...scared is being extra vigilant

So long as neither stops you from taking action to confront and recognize the cause.

 

On 11/15/2025 at 8:54 AM, Pioneer1 said:

But in a protective and territorial way where he's generally on alert when other men come around and suspicious that they may try to push up on his woma(e)n or take his money.

True....that is his responsibility to protect and secure family

 

On 11/15/2025 at 8:54 AM, Pioneer1 said:

 

If a man should NOT think like this, WHY shouldn't he?

It only becomes a problem when it curtails the freedoms and liberties of those who he intends to protect.

It is My opinion that one should be able to trust his woman to handle certain situation in a manner that makes you and herself happy

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

Jealously and insecurity are human emotions nothing is inherently wrong with them,

True...

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

but like all negative emotions including hate, fear, envy, etc we should try to moderate then.

Hate to me is not an emotion....hate is a sentiment

Fear is an emotion that warns of danger real or imagine.

Envy is an feeling based in lack

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

If a brother greets your woman with a smile while you are standing there, do you fly into a rage or are your pleased that she was greeted in a friendly manner?

I first evaluate her reaction....then i consider whether or not he has overstep

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

Do you later give her grief,

That depends on her actions and reactions...

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

or slap her around,

Never....or only in physical self defense

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

for encouraging the brother

Was she flirting ?

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

 

or do you think homie was a friendly guy?

Hard to say without more detail

 

On 11/15/2025 at 10:20 AM, Troy said:

The emotions are natural what provokes them and how we react to them is what matters. 

True

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

As @Troy alluded, those are negative emotions. Usually points to deeper issues within that individual.

I do not see them as inherently negatively...

And yes it points to what is in the individual...

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

People don't make the best decisions based on their emotions. 

Information is pick up by our Senses.....This info is below the level of Consciousness - subliminal.

Subliminal info is raw data.....feelings

Depending on current Mind Set...Temperament or Disposition.

Feelings become Emotions

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

Jealousy and insecurity are not traits that enable a man to provide for and protect his woman, children, family, village, etc.

I disagree

First you must define your definition of Jealousy and Insecurity?

To me Jealousy is the fearing of losing something.

Insecurity means to be in harms way exposed or unprotected.

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

A man should have the mental and physical abilities to handle his business.

True...

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

No time for jealousy and insecurity.

Keeping and Protecting his family is his business.

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

In fact, a strong man (mentally & physically) doesn't have to worry about his woman leaving and/or another man testing him.

He should not worry..

But he must be prepared for betrayal and testing

 

On 11/15/2025 at 11:17 AM, ProfD said:

A strong man can easily find another woman. They are attracted to him.

True

 

 

[ProfD]

6 minutes ago, frankster said:

True....that is his responsibility to protect and secure 

 

I disagree

First you must define your definition of Jealousy and Insecurity?

To me Jealousy is the fearing of losing something.

Insecurity means to be in harms way exposed or unprotected.

 

Keeping and Protecting his family is his business.

 

He should not worry..

But he must be prepared for betrayal and testing

Jealousy and insecurity point to underlying fears of inadequacy.

 

An intelligent, physically fit man who is capable of handling his business in terms of stacking resources (wealth)  and self-defense has a level of confidence that does not make room for jealousy and insecurity.

 

Again, a strong man i.e. alpha-male is capable of protection and provision without making moves based on emotions.

 

People are naturally attracted to alpha-males. They don't have to compete for women nor have to worry about losing them.

 

The biggest problem an alpha-male has with women is getting rid of the most toxic and/or least productive among them. 

[Pioneer1]

@frankster

POWERFUL analysis

 

[Pioneer1]

frankster

 

Jealousy is not always a bad thing....neither is being insecure

Both are means use by your subconscious mind to tell you something is not what it appears to be...

How you react or interpret that information is what makes it beneficial or detrimental.

 

I honestly didn't look at it from that perspective.

 

 

 

 

Understood...

Timidity is being cautious...scared is being extra vigilant

So long as neither stops you from taking action to confront and recognize the cause.

 

This reminds of the old saying that courage isn't the absence of fear...but rather doing what needs to be done DEPITE the fear.
Not letting the fear overrule you or prevent you from taking action.

 

 

True....that is his responsibility to protect and secure family

 

This is why I have a measure of respect for jealous and protective men.

I'm from Detroit and I remember when the Arabs and Chaldeans first started moving into the city in the 70s one of the things I noticed about them that stood out more so than the Black or White Americans...was how protective and "suspicious" the men were by comparison.

Even as a kid I noticed how they would make sure they were always near their females and didn't let them talk to other races of men.
How their women would look around at them and buck their eyes or look the other way when men of other races would try to talk to or joke around with them.

 

....for good reason.

 

Because usually no matter where the Arab man was....if an American man said something to an American woman...he usually popped up out of nowhere to respond or answer the question!
And didn't walk away and leave until YOU left.

 

 

 

 

 

It is My opinion that one should be able to trust his woman to handle certain situation in a manner that makes you and herself happy

 

I feel this way too.
Part of me says a man should trust his woman to handle this situation herself, yet another part of me says if you want to KEEP her you better put her on lock...just like you do your car, house, and anything else you value...before somebody else comes along and takes it away, lol.

 

 

 

 

Envy is an feeling based in lack

 

Facts.
But the fact is.....if you don't have it you don't have it.
IGNORING the fact that you don't have it won't bring you any closer to having it than mere ENVY, lol.

So if you want it....perhaps acknowledging the fact that you want it, don't have it, and are envious MIGHT motivate you into action to get it.

 

 

 

I first evaluate her reaction.

 

Exactly.

I expect certain men to do certain things, but it's HER REACTION that I'm checking the most.

[frankster]

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

Jealousy and insecurity point to underlying fears of inadequacy.

Yes...it does - Can i protect and secure my family against all challenges??

As a young father i live with the continuous fear of can i feed shelter clothe and educate my family.

In sickness and in health out of sheer desperation..... courage allowed me to endure all sorts of pain and privations.

To secure my family to adulthood and see them to independence..

 

Bravery does not mean the absence of fear....bravery and courage means to face it or devise a means of success.

The question is not whether or not you are fearful or are you adequate...

We all have our fears...only the fool and ignorant has no fear or is unaware of his inadequacies.

The question is will you use what you have to succeed against all challenges..

 

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

An intelligent, physically fit man who is capable of handling his business in terms of stacking resources (wealth)  and self-defense has a level of confidence that does not make room for jealousy and insecurity.

Even the most powerful King knows that eternal vigilance is the price of security

True confidence is born of preparation

One cannot prepare for every eventuality....so insecurity keeps you peaked(head on a swivel)

Jealousy gives you that awareness of weeds that can grow into huge logs that can jam you up.

 

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

Again, a strong man i.e. alpha-male is capable of protection and provision without making moves based on emotions.

Emotions are guides....not the road

logics is the road

 

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

People are naturally attracted to alpha-males.

Yes....some to pull you down and others to join you

 

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

They don't have to compete for women nor have to worry about losing them.

Being the alpha means the competition is ongoing and it never stops....so long as you remain winning.

 

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

The biggest problem an alpha-male has with women is getting rid of the most toxic and/or least productive among them. 

The cost you pay for success..

 

9 minutes ago, ProfD said:

 

 

33 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

@franksterPOWERFUL analysis

thank you

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

frankster

Jealousy is not always a bad thing....neither is being insecure

Both are means use by your subconscious mind to tell you something is not what it appears to be...

How you react or interpret that information is what makes it beneficial or detrimental.

 

I honestly didn't look at it from that perspective.

Really it is matter of......you do not have enough info or can properly understand what you have

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Understood...

Timidity is being cautious...scared is being extra vigilant

So long as neither stops you from taking action to confront and recognize the cause.

 

This reminds of the old saying that courage isn't the absence of fear...but rather doing what needs to be done DEPITE the fear.
Not letting the fear overrule you or prevent you from taking action.

True...

Taking action and hoping that it is appropriate to achieve the outcome you desire.....despite the obstacles

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

True....that is his responsibility to protect and secure family

 

This is why I have a measure of respect for jealous and protective men.

I'm from Detroit and I remember when the Arabs and Chaldeans first started moving into the city in the 70s one of the things I noticed about them that stood out more so than the Black or White Americans...was how protective and "suspicious" the men were by comparison.

Even as a kid I noticed how they would make sure they were always near their females and didn't let them talk to other races of men.
How their women would look around at them and buck their eyes or look the other way when men of other races would try to talk to or joke around with them.

 

....for good reason.

Here is the thing....the Good reason in that type of Guarding

Women will succumb to the advances of men....especially if the opportunity for a dalliance arises.

They are not Protecting they are Guarding...in short she is a prisoner of his Tribal Familial Bloodline.

What is he really Guarding ....her Womb - to assure that it bears his seed

Should the prisoner try to escape he will kill her just as readily and aggressively as he guards her

This is not Jealousy or protection....it is Protection Racket

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Because usually no matter where the Arab man was....if an American man said something to an American woman...he usually popped up out of nowhere to respond or answer the question!
And didn't walk away and leave until YOU left.

not really understanding this comment above

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

It is My opinion that one should be able to trust his woman to handle certain situation in a manner that makes you and herself happy

 

I feel this way too.
Part of me says a man should trust his woman to handle this situation herself, yet another part of me says if you want to KEEP her you better put her on lock...just like you do your car, house, and anything else you value...before somebody else comes along and takes it away, lol.

True....

There is a difference between an individual and things that i recognize.....free will

I would not want to keep anyone....who doesn't want to stay

I would not want any body to stay....who wants more or better than i can provide.

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Envy is an feeling based in lack

 

Facts.
But the fact is.....if you don't have it you don't have it.
IGNORING the fact that you don't have it won't bring you any closer to having it than mere ENVY, lol.

So if you want it....perhaps acknowledging the fact that you want it, don't have it, and are envious MIGHT motivate you into action to get it.

True....

Then strive to get you own or a substitute...

 

4 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

I first evaluate her reaction.

 

Exactly.

I expect certain men to do certain things, but it's HER REACTION that I'm checking the most.

True...

[Pioneer1]

frankster
 

 

Quote

"Because usually no matter where the Arab man was....if an American man said something to an American woman...he usually popped up out of nowhere to respond or answer the question!
And didn't walk away and leave until YOU left."

not really understanding this comment above

Those were things I observed....even as a kid...of how closely Arab men would keep an eye on the females in his family.
If she were working in a store or gas station 

_____________________________________
First of all you rarely saw Arab women AT the store or gas stations their men owned or worked at
You just didn't see them.
They'd be at home or back in the Middle East or somewhere other than where YOU could get to them...lol
_______________________________________

But if you DID happen to see one....she kept her mouth shut and didn't make eye contact with any of the American customers.

And if on the RARE occasion you got close enough to say something to her or ask a question, she'd look at you funny and immediately look over to or for the nearest Arab man and let HIM to respond to you.

He'd stand there answering ANY question you may have had for her....lol.
And WOULDN'T walk away and leave her alone until YOU left the store or gas station!

I saw this multiple times as a KID, how they interacted with Americans....Black and White.