Dolemita -The Movie?

[Pioneer1]

Move out the way Dolemite!

Make way for a movie about Big Mamma herself!


     DOLEMITA!


Starring Rudy Ray Moore, Richard Pryor, Brenda Sykes, AKA "something", lol....

 

 

 

 

"Make sure you call me by my NAME!
You jive assed turkey muthaf-----"
 

 

 

[Pioneer1]

 

 

 

 

"Slow ya roll...... jive ass sucka!
Ya walkin' too GOT damn fast!"
 

 

[ProfD]

If this was a real movie, rest assured the critics would be all over it.

 

Just like The Woman King, some men would have a problem with a female lead kicking azz and chopping off heads.

 

The Ozempic and  Wegovy crowds would be complaining about her size. 

 

The alphabet soup community will feel zome kind of way if her theme music isn't a song by The Weather Girls ("Raining Men"), Sylvester ("Mighty Real"), Diana Ross or The Village People.

 

Everything yellow would have a problem with her outfit.

[Pioneer1]

10 minutes ago, ProfD said:

If this was a real movie

It might become one!
I'll send the manuscripts to Tyler Perry and we'll see what happens.....lol.

 

 

 

 

 

Quote

The alphabet soup community will feel zome kind of way if her theme music isn't a song by The Weather Girls ("Raining Men"), Sylvester ("Mighty Real"), Diana Ross or The Village People.

 

 

Well that's just tough titties for them!

We've already contracted with the Chi-Lites to do the whole soundtrack for the movie....lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....we're just waiting on that phone call from Atlanta, lol.
 

[ProfD]

7 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

I'll send the manuscripts to Tyler Perry and we'll see what happens.....lol.

 

We've already contracted with the Chi-Lites to do the whole soundtrack for the movie....lol.

.....we're just waiting on that phone call from Atlanta, lol.

OK. Reads like the bases are covered. Tyler Perry won't catch any flak from the various communities.

[Pioneer1]

48 minutes ago, ProfD said:

OK. Reads like the bases are covered. Tyler Perry won't catch any flak from the various communities.

 

 

No, but Richard Pryor might....with the role HE'S playing in the movie.....lol.

 

 

"Got damn boy!
I thought you said you was leaving for the big city to make some big money
Da' hell  yo Black ass doin' back here?
And who all them long legged gulz you ridin' with?
Is them real women, or some of them chix-with-dix I be hearin' about?
Shit nigga....you runnin' from the law or something?
We gotta pack up an move????"
 

[aka Contrarian]

And through it  all, when not pining away for his idol, Idris Elba, pioneer remains his own true jive assed self, especially when the moon is full.

[Pioneer1]

Also featuring:  BERNADETTE STANIS  as "Baby Girl"
 

 

 

"Ooooohhh Big Mamma!
Now you KNOW Dolemite go eat you alive when he find
out you been dealing that he'ron out of his ho' houzes.
And hiding the dope in Hornets Nests!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

"Girl hush yo' mouth....jive ass heffah!
He ain't go find out, cuz' ain't nobody go tell him!
Now GIT  yo' lil' narrow ass back up stairs and keep sucking...sucka!
....and finish makin' yo Mamma some mo' money!"

 

[ProfD]

9 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

No, but Richard Pryor might....with the role HE'S playing in the movie.....lol.

Must be using a combination of CGI and AI to include Richard Pryor in the cast.

[aka Contrarian]

Hey, y'all seen what happened to jive assed nigga when he was hangin round some ol hornet nest? He look awful. So messed up guess he cain't even sleep. Say he get up early in da mornin and play wid his computer like he crazy. Talkin' to himself, and stuff. smh

 

Dere he go now. Jes look at him! 'Heard his bitch really pissed off, 'specially since she found out he been playin round wid dat ol funny talkin' Idris Elba.

Po Canina. Dat jive-assed nigga prolly gonna drop her off at da shelter now dat he found him a new Interest. uh-uh-uh.

He jive-ass, alright. 'N real freaky.

Dat's da word on da street...

[Pioneer1]

7 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

Hey, y'all seen what happened to jive assed nigga when he was hangin round some ol hornet nest? He look awful. So messed up guess he cain't even sleep. Say he get up early in da mornin and play wid his computer like he crazy. Talkin' to himself, and stuff. smh

 

 

Dere he go now. Jes look at him! 'Heard his bitch really pissed off, 'specially since she found out he been playin round wid dat ol funny talkin' Idris Elba.

 

Po Canina. Dat jive-assed nigga prolly gonna drop her off at da shelter now dat he found him a new Interest. uh-uh-uh.

He jive-ass, alright. 'N real freaky.

Dat's da word on da street...

 

That sounded (read) like a White girl TRYING to sound Black.....lol.

Do you talk like that in real life?
Are you one of those Black folks who is more comfortable around White people and get awkward around your own?

Speak regularly around White folk; but when you have to interact with other Black folks you start patronizing and mocking them.
Exaggerating and putting extra slang in your speech hoping to "relate" better....lol.

Like Braxton from the Jamie Foxx show......



"Hey brothers!
What it beez like down in the 'hood today?
I'm chillin' like a villain, myself.
Hey I'm so hungry, I can sure go for a heaping

helping of those chitterlings and turnip greens!
Anyone know where I can cop a plate on the downlow?"

 

[Pioneer1]

 

{{Baby Girl drops a dime on Dolemita and alerts Dolemite to her plans to sell heroin out of his brothel in Watts.
So he pulls up to check things out}}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hole oooooown  got damnit!
Why all these snaggle toofed niggas coming out the house holding they skinny ass arms?
And why them hunky fuzz muthafuckaz sitting across the GOT damn street with they eyeballs trained on this house? "

 

"Da'fuck all these jive ass bee hives and shit doing down here in my basement????
Got this place looking like a cheap ass Chinese take-out joint with shit hanging all over the place!!!
 

I'm running a ho'house, not no JIVE ASS honey farm!"

 

 

 

 

"Imma git to the bottom of this shit...cuz'  it BETT'not be what I THANK it is!

I don't fuck with the white stuff!
I'm a PIMP....not a preacher or a dope pusher!
I don't sell hope....and I DON'T sell dope!

DOLEMITE is my name and selling poontang MY game!"

 

[aka Contrarian]

Stfu.I was talkin like ghetto people in Chicagoland talk. Why, when I'm discussing  a jive assed nigga, would I enunciate and be articulate.

 Like most black people, I am "bilingual" and can "code switch". 

 

You got the nerve to critique

my garbage when your caricature crap ain't no better. Talk about stale humor. Puleeze.

[Pioneer1]

 

Play This While Watching:   

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey jive sucka!
You know who been stashing dope in my Ho' House, off of Central Avenue down in Watts?"

 

 

"Alright Leroy Bivens....I KNOW you know the scoop on everything goin' own around here!
Now, SOMEBODY been stashin' dope in my Ho House....you know anything about that?
What's the skinny???
And don't JIVE me nicca!"