Masculine American Women

[Pioneer1]

One of our rather more outspoken....lol...contributors, said in another discussion:

 

"The only people masculinizing black women are triflin' black men who have forced them to play the "father" role for the children they make and desert."

 

 

While that may SEEM to be a valid point on it's surface, I can't help but notice something when I meet women from other cultures.............

I've seen women from the Middle East and Afghanistan who grew up seeing all of the men of their village slaughtered, sometimes in front of them.
Very traumatic.
Yet these women still have kept their femininity.

There are MILLIONS of women in the Middle East, Asia, and Africa who have had to raise children without a man in the home but they still retain their femininity.

-Yet you don't see them walking around showing off their muscles.
-You don't see them getting tattoos all over their bodies.
-Their voices aren't deeper.
-You don't see videos of them balling up their fists and fighting at hamburger joints and family picnics or outside of gas stations.
-They aren't "turning" Lesbian and claiming they gave up on men.

No matter what they've gone through they still retain and maintain their femininity.
Which tells me that something is being done to the women HERE that is clearly making many of them more masculine than the women of other countries or cultures.

You can look at a lot of the little girls in school and how much they love fighting and talk about fighting to realize something is disturbingly wrong.
I don't recall girls fighting this much at school or on the street when I was a kid.


For decades we've talked about dead beat dads and why so many men have walked off from their own children and avoided their responsibilities.
In the vast majority of the cases I personally know of....it wasn't the children or being forced to take care of them that was the problem; it was the baby mammas and the inability to get along with THEM that was the issue.

Not saying the mothers were at fault for him abandoning her.
I'm saying THEY COULDN'T GET ALONG...regardless as to WHO was at fault.
So it wasn't the children, it was them being incompatible.

Now, on the flip side of that.....

I know more than a few Black men who had children by MULTIPLE American women and abandoned them and have little to do with their own children, yet got themselves foreign wives from other countries and not only stuck with those wives but had children with them and either raised or are raising those children!
I'm not talking about mail order brides!
I'm talking about women they said they met at school, at work, or on the street!
In a few cases, some these same brothers met foreign women WITH children who were not their own!  And married these women and helped them raised these children!

I'm going to say (type....lol) that again:

Some of the SAME Black men who had children by multiple women and abandoned THOSE women and children, actually met women from other countries WITH children and took on the responsibility not only of marriage but raising THOSE children as their own!

So perhaps the question would have to be....
What is it about SOME of our women here in America that is so frustrating or repulsive that a man would rather get with women from outside his own culture and raise HER children, rather than stick with the women of his own culture and raise his own children?


 

[aka Contrarian]

I aint readin all that crap. I don't agree  with your usual whining about black men  expecting from black women,  what black women don't get from black men.  Drone on.

[Pioneer1]

28 minutes ago, aka Contrarian said:

I aint readin all that crap.

....cuz you can't read.

[aka Contrarian]

20 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

....cuz you can't read.

Lol. Yes, I can. 

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

You wonder why I have a "soft spot" for Africans?

One of the reasons I'm so attracted to African women is because they exude natural femininity and shut down the disgraceful myth of the "strong masculine Black woman" that America has so celebrated for nearly 50 years.

Through out much of America's history, they only wanted White women to be the standard of delicacy and femininity.
They pushed the masculine role on to the Black woman, and many in our community actually embraced this nonsense.

But African women come to America and no matter what they've seen and been through back home, they STILL have light voices and are very feminine and act like women.

White men see this and many of them try to snatch them up and marry them.
I've seen so many White men actually get angry, offended, and even defensive with Black American men OVER African women!
Many of them act as if African women are THEIR women and Black men should stay away from them!

When a woman ACTS like a woman....she makes a man want to ACT like a man.

Now some will say, "A man shouldn't need a woman to make him act like a man....he should just naturally act like one".
While this is true, some men...many men...need to be primed or encouraged into doing so.
Whether they "should" or "shouldn't need this is a discussion unto itself, but the fact is many do....and if that's what it takes to force a generation of young men to get off their lazy ass and stop smoking the weed and get busy building....then that's what it takes!

Let's be glad there IS a solution to the problem and then apply it.

 

[Troy]

13 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I know more than a few Black men who had children by MULTIPLE American women and abandoned them and have little to do with their own children, yet got themselves foreign wives from other countries and not only stuck with those wives but had children with them and either raised or are raising those children!

How many guys are we talking about Pioneer, five, a dozen? The problem with your reasoning here is that this is just your personal experience, anecdotes. It’s not data. You’ve heard the story about the blind people feeling different parts of the elephant and coming away with a completely different understanding of what the animal is?

 

Your personal experience is analogous to this so you touching the elephants tusk and thinking the whole elephant is smooth and hard, get it?

[ProfD]

12 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

ProfD

You wonder why I have a "soft spot" for Africans?

One of the reasons I'm so attracted to African women is because they exude natural femininity and shut down the disgraceful myth of the "strong masculine Black woman" that America has so celebrated for nearly 50 year

Understood.

 

Enjoy those African women as long as any cultural differences do not present hurdles. 

 

12 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Through out much of America's history, they only wanted White women to be the standard of delicacy and femininity.

Many African women use a ton of make-up and foundation to lighten themselves to appear less dark and look more European.

 

Too many Black folks have been conditioned to h8te themselves. That's a real problem.

[Pioneer1]

Troy

 

How many guys are we talking about Pioneer, five, a dozen?

 

To break it down.....

The Black men I know and have known who got into relationships with foreign women and lived happier lives....based on what they've said AND what I've seen...are DOZENS.

The Black men who actually took on the responsibility of raising children who are not even theirs along with these foreign women...are LESS than a dozen.

 

 

The problem with your reasoning here is that this is just your personal experience, anecdotes. It’s not data. 

 

It's not a problem UNLESS we're doing scientific research.
If we're just talking and having a discussion about an issue, why shouldn't personal experiences and anecdotes NOT count?
 

I know you have very little way of verifying the truth of it one way or the other, however YOU are a Black man who've known other Black men.
Are you saying you don't know of ANY Black men who's personal experiences align with the ones I've just related?


 

ProfD

 

Enjoy those African women as long as any cultural differences do not present hurdles.
 

Many of those cultural differences are part of the fun.
To be real...
I'm not in relationships with most of these women.  Infact, for many of them were are just acquaintances.  But I enjoy their company regardless of the level of contact I experience with them.

And truth be told, MOST Black American men love interacting with African women when they actually do.
I see this happen on a routine basis.
They'll talk shit all day long about them but as soon as a woman from Angola or Ethiopia smile at them and ask them for something...the nigga starts glowing and cheesing and the next thing I know he's following her around or somewhere leaning on a box with his leg propped up talking shit to her grinning...lol.

 

 

 

Many African women use a ton of make-up and foundation to lighten themselves to appear less dark and look more European.
 

This is true.
And it often looks disgusting on them because of the discolorations caused by it.
Many of them have dark rings around their eyes and mouths or discolored necks because of this.

 
But it's not too much worse than AfroAmerican women who may not use skin bleaching anymore but not only straighten their hair but BLONDE is the new fashion among so many of our sistaz today.

I saw a picture of Puffy's mother and she has her hair (or somebody's hair...lol) blonde and long almost all the way to the ground.
 

[Troy]

On 12/14/2025 at 8:56 AM, Pioneer1 said:

Are you saying you don't know of ANY Black men who's personal experiences align with the ones I've just related?

No, not one. I do know some brothers who married European women, but they are either childless or made their own babies.
 

Of course it’s perfectly fine to relate your personal experiences, but to extend those to the general population, it’s never a good idea. In the same way that you like stereotypes.
 

Of course you’ll find people that will fit a stereotype, but they’re actually some white boys who run faster, are better Ballers, who dance better, and better endowed than a the average brother. Likewise, there are brothers who are stingier than Jewish people, who are better at math than Chinese people, and who like to read

[Pioneer1]

Troy

 

It should go without saying, the cases I refer to do NOT refer to Black men who met White women and spent their live with them...foreign or domestic.
I'm talking about Black men who met foreign Black women whether they were from Africa, the West Indies, or actually in a few cases Black folks from or in Europe.

I'm talking over a 50+ year time span too.

 

 

it’s never a good idea. In the same way that you like stereotypes.
Of course you’ll find people that will fit a stereotype,

Most stereotypes are based on facts.
Those fact may be distorted or taken out of context....but they are still usually based on facts.

 

Most people aren't stupid.
So if most people have it in their minds that some people are "this" way or "that" way, there's a reason for it.
It may be a misunderstanding, but the reason definitely exists.

The stereotype that Asians are good at math is based on a fact that a large percentage of the Asians....in the United States atleast...get high test scores in mathematics.
It didn't just come out of thin air.
It's based in facts.

 

[Troy]

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I'm talking about Black men who met foreign Black women whether they were from Africa, the West Indies, or actually in a few cases Black folks from or in Europe.

Oh, I’ve seen more of this. But I don’t think the foreign Bourne women have an advantage over the homegrown sisters. Sometimes a woman from the Caribbean has a leg up as dudes sometimes  find their accent, sexy.

 

7 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Most stereotypes are based on facts.

Stereotypes are based upon stereotypes. Just because you find one doesn’t mean they’re all like that. I bet if we went to China right now I’m better at math than the majority of Chinese people in China and I’m not that good at math, I have just studied a lot of it. While less than 20% of Chinese people have graduated from college.

 

Would you look at me and say that Black people are better at math in Chinese people?
 

So I guess it depends on what you call a fact. I just gave you a fact that conflicts with a stereotype.

 

The actual fact is Black people in Chinese people on taking as a group very likely have negligible differences in mathematical aptitude all things being equal.

[Pioneer1]

Troy

Funny you mention women with accents.
I've been attracted to women with foreign accents since I was a kid.

I think men are psychologically (and perhaps biologically) programed to find foreign accents attractive for a number of reasons.
Not only are they "different" or "exotic" but if they come from another nation that usually means they are further away from the gene pool and less likely to produce defects that come from inbreeding.

 

[ProfD]

3 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I think men are psychologically (and perhaps biologically) programed to find foreign accents attractive for a number of reasons.

IMO, a woman's accent is just another trait like eye and hair color, height, weight, body shape, etc.

[Pioneer1]

18 minutes ago, ProfD said:

IMO, a woman's accent is just another trait like eye and hair color, height, weight, body shape, etc.

That was a......strategic.....response to my statement, lol.

 

[ProfD]

13 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

That was a......strategic.....response to my statement, lol.

Not at all.

 

For us heterosexual dudes, a woman's accent whether it's foreign or domestic is one of several traits we find attractive. 

 

Some dudes like those husky voice women who sound like they smoke Black & Milds.

 

Other dudes might prefer to hear a light, sweet voice hunming like a bird in his ear.

 

No doubt those foreign accents can be catchy too as long as the body matches up well.

[Troy]

4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Not only are they "different" or "exotic" but if they come from another nation that usually means they are further away from the gene pool and less likely to produce defects that come from inbreeding.

I was about to surmise the same thing —a biological adaptation. Why would we find foreign accents sexy when it would seem more reasonable to find them odd or even repulsive?

 

I always found foreign accents, including the southern ones attractive all things being equal if a sister had a southern accent I found them more appealing

[Pioneer1]

 

ProfD

 

When I said it was a "strategic" response, I didn't mean it in a negative way.

 

When you said that, it opened up all kinds of questions as to what you meant and why you felt that way...lol.

It made me wonder whether or not you agreed with the statement.
If you didn't...why not?
If you did....did you agree with it for the same reasons I did?
Etc....

 

It was literally a THOUGHT PROVOKING response that opened up so many avenues.

 

 

 

Troy

I was about to surmise the same thing —a biological adaptation. Why would we find foreign accents sexy when it would seem more reasonable to find them odd or even repulsive?

Also, I think most men are programmed to seek and help out women they find attractive.

If you notice a woman has an accent you subconsciously presume she's not from THIS territory/land/country and if she's attractive you'll use that to your advantage to try to help her navigate through this society/territory/country and gain her trust, confidence, and attraction.

 

It doesn't matter the fact that she may have been here 40 years or probably was even BORN here and probably picked up her accent from her immigrant parents...lol.
We're just programmed to presume such.

 

 

 

I always found foreign accents, including the southern ones attractive all things being equal if a sister had a southern accent I found them more appealing 

 

Same here.
I think it's because we subconsciously associate the South with being a bit slower than the North or Westcoast which means we may expect her to be less hip and more submissive.
We know that's not necessarily true, especially today; but when I was a kid was more true because the South WAS much slower than places like Chicago, Detroit, and definitely slower than New York...lol.

 

But I've noticed that this seems to be the OPPOSITE effect when it comes to men with Southern dialects...lol.

 

When I lived in the South, most women said they found men with Northern and New York dialects more attractive.
Not only were they different but they conveyed a sense of "big city" coolness and hipness.

[ProfD]

1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

When I said it was a "strategic" response, I didn't mean it in a negative way.

 

When you said that, it opened up all kinds of questions as to what you meant and why you felt that way...lol.

It made me wonder whether or not you agreed with the statement.
If you didn't...why not?
If you did....did you agree with it for the same reasons I did?
Etc....

 

It was literally a THOUGHT PROVOKING response that opened up so many avenues.

Gotcha. 

 

I agree that a foreign accent can be an aspect of attraction. To my ears, *foreign* doesn't have to be from another country though. 

 

Women with domestic accents whether it is a southern drawl, midwest twang or east coast aggressiveness, etc. can be just as attractive.

[Pioneer1]

ProfD

East coast dialects are generally not attractive to me....lol.
Not sexually.

If I hear a man with a strong Eastcoast dialect like a New York one....I think of Mike Tyson or some of the rappers I grew up listening too.
But a WOMAN with a New York dialect is often times a turn off.

Take MC Lyte for example.
Fine woman with a nice pair of girls hanging on her....lol.
But as soon as she opens her mouth and that strong ass dialect comes out....it's over, lol.

 

 

 

"You ain't guuuuwaadin' the dooooah....
Do you rob from the rich and give to the pooooah....
Yo' Daddio, school 'em some mooooah....."



The only famous female who's strong New York dialect doesn't seem to affect her sexiness is MARY J. BLIGE....lol.
Her voice is so sweet, feminine, and inviting...I can listen to her all day.

[ProfD]

1 minute ago, Pioneer1 said:

Take MC Lyte for example.
Fine woman with a nice pair of girls hanging on her....lol.
But as soon as she opens her mouth and that strong ass dialect comes out....it's over, lol.

See, I would totally enjoy having fine azz MC Lyte with that husky voice and thick NY accent in the studio.  Different strokes.  

[Pioneer1]

3 minutes ago, ProfD said:

See, I would totally enjoy having fine azz MC Lyte with that husky voice and thick NY accent in the studio.  Different strokes.  

And do what?
Make musical tracks with her....lol.

Certainly that VOICE wouldn't be turning you on while you were "laying it down".....lol.

[ProfD]

1 minute ago, Pioneer1 said:

And do what?
Make musical tracks with her....lol.

Certainly that VOICE wouldn't be turning you on while you were "laying it down".....lol.

MC Lyte has a package of assets including her voice.  We can get money in the vocal booth. 

 

She's not bad on the eyes either.  We could hang out for dinner after the work is done.

[Pioneer1]

[ProfD]

In looking at the beautiful pic of sista Lana aka MC Lyte, as Compton's Most Wanted MC Eiht would say...GEAH.