Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Cynique

Re-posted for input from black men

Recommended Posts

I posted these comments on another thread but decided to make it separate post where it could be more prominently displayed and hopefully elicit some opinions from black males

 

 

 

Black males are really a popular topic nowadays, whether they are spawning broods of children, or getting gunned down with their hands up, or going upside the heads of their girlfriends. Social media is now all a-twitter over the released videos of Baltimore Raven's Ray Rice punching out his girl friend on a elevator, and then dragging her unconscious body out of it. The NFL's first reaction to this incident was criticized for being too lenient in just imposing a suspension on Rice but is now being questioned for being too harsh after it reversed itself and decided to ban him from football for life.

 

Everybody has an opinion. Pouncing on the opportunity to promote their causes are all the feminist groups and empathetic female sympathizers bemoaning the abuse of Rice's wife. Others consider Rice's punishment excessive, saying that nobody knows what precipitated the situation. Many are advising women to avoid attacking or pushing the buttons of men because this can be dangerous when dealing with dudes who need anger management. Criticism is also being directed at women who tolerate ongoing violence instead of removing themselves from the situation. And, of course, some are even arguing that a good ass-whupping is occasionailly necessary to keep an unruly bitch in line. Obviously a lot of factors figure into this public debate.

 

I have mixed emotions about the situation. I tend to think that people should mind their own business when it comes to the relationships of people they don't know. What goes on between a man and a women is between them, and the release of the videos were certainly an invasion of the privacy of Rice and his partner. In this age of political correctness and knee jerk reactions, the scene is ripe for those with agendas to take up the cause of individuals, and turn them into poster children for their crusades. Sometimes the backstory doesn't always favor the victims, and this provides grist for the mill of the opposition. And it should be noted that Rice's girlfriend is now his wife and has released a statement, defending her husband, blaming the hoopla on the media and declaring the couple's love for each other.

 

Generally speaking, no man should beat up a women because he has an unfair advantage. And women need to realize that there are consequences to provoking a man because you can't depend on him to exercise restraint, especially if you are physically aggressive, yourself. We would like for civility to always prevail in society. But in the real world, it doesn't.

 

Another subject making the rounds on social media are nudie-selfies, and whether people who insta-gram or text naked pictures of themselves to someone should be within their rights to consider themselves victims if these pictures get into the wrong hands and are made public. The argument is being made that it's not about indiscretion or modesty but about the legitimate expectations that one's privacy will be protected. To me, once again, an awareness of consequences comes into play. People are taking a chance when they transmit naked pictures via iPhones and the Interent. Not only do you have to worry about hackers, but you can't be sure that the recipient of these pics won't at a later date decide, for whatever reason, to post them. If you take this chance, then you have to share the blame if your bare body becomes exposed to the cyber world.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Men don't hit women. There isn't a discussion to have. If you have to hit her, you don't need to be with her. There is never a time to hit a woman. I may discipline my daughter, but that is a cause and effect situation and it is parent to child. I measure my response to her and allow her to understand why she may get her butt popped, but it occurs very rarely simply because the threat is there. This is not to say I control her or I am placing some type of control on her, it's simply that as a parent discipline takes many forms. While people argue against it, sometimes the threat of a good butt pop leads to a better behaved child. While this doesn't have anything to do with the Rice case, I can see how people will say that butt pops may create in a child's mind something that they carry for life which tells them that being hit is okay. I beg to differ. Once she gets to a certain age of development she will be able to decipher and make conscious decisions and understand that there are consequences that can't be measured by something physical that could have very serious effects. So, with that said, I go back to adults and men hitting women... it just shouldn't happen, ever.

 

On the nude selfies, pictures are meant to be seen and shared. If you take a pic you have to know that it will be seen. It's like writing poetry, eventually someone is going to read it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a  problem with the one-rule-fits-all mindset when it comes to "abuse".  The assumption is made that all women are cowering damsels in distress, innocent and helpless and meek, and that children are harmless little angels.  The fact of the matter is that some women are passive aggressive shrews who know to provoke a man. And some children are devious little monsters who bully and torture and defy.  We do know that testosterone-saturated males have a capacity for violence that is exacerbated by a lack of self-control. Unless we have a family unit made up of well-adjusted sensitive individuals, dysfunction rears its ugly head.  The idea that outsiders can arbitrarily pass judgment and administer punishment to abusers has not proven to be a deterrent.  Maybe coping skills should be taught in schools, beginning at an early age so anti-social behavior can be nipped in the bud.  Yes, this is a simplistic solution for a complicated problem but sometimes brain washing works, especially when offenders  are ostracized by their peer groups.   Anger management classes for adults, are like closing the door after the horse has escaped. 

 

I know this argument will ruffle the feathers of most people but we keep reinforcing solutions that don't work.  And the idea that domestic violence, like racism, may go into remission but never go away, contains grains of truth.  Humans are their own worst enemy. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Arbitrarily passing judgment is the main problem I have with this entire affair, other than being made aware of it at every turn.

 

Besides, is robbing the couple of tens of millions of dollars likely to help or hurt their situation?  Does anyone even really care?

 

The idea that TMZ can enrich themselves broadcasting all these videos is disgusting. 

 

Our nation is dysfunctional.  It is nothing short of a miracle that people are not beating each other unconscious more frequently.  I guess one good thing about 24/7 access to social media; is that it is sufficiently distracting to placate the masses, lulling us into complacency.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have the public versus private issue. How much privacy should I public person expect.

Troy - Would you pay to see a team sponsored and populated with Klansmen. When we buy we are voting with dollars. I do make a distinction between the entertainer and the person. Generally I ignore and artist personal life unless it is really odious to me.

Corporal punishment is a tricky one. I think it depends. Some people respond to words, or actions. Within this some people respond to the carrot some to the stick. I think it is important that if you discipline your child that you not do it when you are angry. This is damaging to both the parent and the child.

In sports you have an interesting dynamic. We applaud the alpha dog and testosterone. So weapplaud physical prowess and beating the other team. Howeveronce the games are over we expect the combatants to act normally. You have the same problem with soldiers returning from war.

We applaud sociopathic behavior and then we punish it. Ray Rice is a symptom. The problem is society and we are the problem. I enjoy watching UFC for the martial aspect. However someone would say I'm supporting violence and they would have a valid point. I find it extremely difficult

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a public person, a celebrity, is entitled to the same level of privacy as you and I.  

 

As far as my willingness to watch a team fielded by Klansmen, what makes you think we don;t do this today?  OK, so that may not be card carrying members of the KKK, but they could have the same sensibilities, we know many owners of teams fell that way.  Again why should I care what the personal opinion is of some athlete is?  I there to be entertained.

 

People still love and go still go see R. Kelly and Chris Brown.  And if Ray Rice was not canned, the stadiums would still be filled.

 

I completely agree we expect our warrior class both in athletics, and in the military, to turn all that off and become politically correct metrosexuals.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...